5. Tammy
5
TAMMY
The air is thick with the scent of stale beer and spilled whiskey, tinged with the scattered curls of smoke emanating from the ashtrays in the corner tables. Yeah, this is a bar where people still smoke. I doubt anyone in here even knows what a vape is.
The dull hum of conversation and the clinking of glasses is just a faded murmur in the back of my mind as I wipe a wet rag across the countertop. Jayne’s bar may be a place where people come to forget their troubles and lose themselves in the murk of alcohol–a place where I can think of nothing as I go about my job. But tonight is different. Tonight, my mind is somewhere else.
With Saxon…
I can’t stop replaying the events of last night. The way his eyes burned into mine as he entered me, taking me for my very first time while I lay on his bike. The way he was so tenderly dominant. The way he took my innocence so gently and had me feeling like it was always him who was meant to do it.
And then this morning…
The way he instantly got to his feet when Roxy showed up at his door, clearly upset by her arrival and trying his best to shield me from their drama.
“I only want you.” His words echo through my mind, vibrating through my veins and bones, burrowing deep into my core. I can still feel the stretch from when he entered me. That slight sting of pain from when he claimed me. And the overwhelming bliss from when he brought me to climax.
What an incredible man.
He’s more than I ever could have imagined.
I take a breath and try and focus on the empty glasses in front of me. George just stepped out back for a smoke break, leaving me to fill the orders he’d normally handle. But my mind is overflowing with thoughts of Saxon…
…his callused hands as they moved across my body, the way his lips felt when he pressed them against mine. It’s like we were built for each other.
But will I ever see him again?
I felt truly defended when he sent Roxy away. I felt protected. And when he lay back down on me and looked me in the eyes and told me he only wanted me, I believed him.
But how can I truly know?
I caught a glimpse of Roxy’s reflection in the window when I was pretending to be asleep. She’s got a definite bad girl look to her, but she’s very pretty. There are definitely plenty of guys out there who would be happy to make her theirs. And she and Saxon have history. How am I supposed to compete with that?
“Hey, did that beer end up on Mars or something?” an annoyed voice, like metal on metal, calls out from beside me. I glance three stools down and see Rick, a regular who likes to really knock ‘em back, glaring at me with bloodshot eyes.
Sighing, I grab him a Budweiser from the fridge and set it down on the counter in front of him with a clink. “Here you go. Back from outer space,” I say, forcing a half-smile. Rick grumbles something under his breath as I turn away.
And that’s when it happens.
The door opens, and Saxon steps into the bar like a storm. The entire atmosphere changes instantly. The dull chatter of conversation fades, and the tension rises as every eye in the place lands on him. His enormous body fills the frame as he stands there, dark and dangerous, his leather jacket stretched tight across his broad, sculpted shoulders. My heart skips a beat, and I could swear the playlist does too.
His eyes find me instantly.
I swallow hard as my heart rate skyrockets.
Why am I nervous right now? It’s not like we haven’t seen each other naked…and then some. But telling myself that doesn’t help. The intensity in his gaze is fierce and makes it impossible for me to look away. I can’t even pretend to be unaffected by his presence. He looks at me like I’m the only woman in the world, sending a shiver of heat through me that starts at my toes.
He walks over, each step landing like he’s moving in slow motion, his boots thudding heavily against the old, worn-out floor. I swear I can feel him, yet he’s not even touching me. The space around us seems to shrink as he closes in on me and leans up against the bar.
“Whiskey. Neat,” he says, his voice gravelly and rough, like he’s been saving up his voice all day just for me.
I nod quickly, embarrassing myself as my breath catches in my throat. I feel the heat from his body again, radiating toward me, almost suffocating me like he’s a massive furnace drawing all the air from the room.
My hand is trembling as I grab the bottle and pour him a glass.
Why am I so nervous?
“Thanks,” he says simply as I slide it across the bar to him, his eyes fixed on mine. Strong. Unwavering.
I try to calm down, willing myself to breathe normally. But it’s not working. It’s nearly impossible when he’s right up on me like this, bringing back too many memories of last night…of this morning.
“Busy tonight?” he asks, his tone low, almost like he’s teasing and already knows the answer. The glint in his eye causes a funny feeling to rise between my legs.
“I’ve got some glasses to scrub,” I reply, unable to fully maintain eye contact. “Other than that? No.”
Saxon’s lips twist into a devilish smile. “Good. Because tonight, I’m not letting you out of my sight.”
His words send a thrill through me like I’ve been struck by a bolt of electricity. His tone is so strong, dominant and possessive, claiming me with nothing but a word and a look.
He may be smirking, but I can tell he’s serious, and he has my pulse racing. Despite the tingling between my legs and the warmth in my chest, a tiny voice in the back of my mind won’t stop telling me that I should be scared.
This man is dangerous.
And he comes with baggage.
“To be honest,” he says, “I wasn’t sure I should come here today.”
His words hit me like a bat to the stomach. I’m offended and can’t stop myself from blurting out, “What? Why? Because of Roxy?”
Saxon shakes his head and sighs. I can’t tell if it’s because he’s annoyed with me or because I just exposed him. “No, baby girl. Not because of Roxy.”
“Why then?”
“Because of who I am, Tammy.” His eyes home in on me like lasers. I can practically feel the pressure around us rising. My heart beats steadily and heavily in my ears like a drum. “I’m an outlaw. A Heartless Bastard. I lead a biker gang and live my life by my own rules. And to be honest, I worry about bringing an innocent little girl like you into that life.”
I feel like I’m being crushed by his words. I force myself to look away, checking on the progress Rick’s made through his beer, hoping he’ll need me to get him a new one soon. Despite how badly I wish I could, I just can’t handle Saxon’s intensity.
“Am I boring you?” he asks, leaning in, forcing me to look at him. I can feel his breath against my skin, smell the scent of his leather jacket.
“I’m just trying to do my job,” I reply, doing my best to sound casual, like I’m not being quickly overpowered by the intensity of the moment.
“I know what you’re doing, baby girl,” he replies, his voice firm and oozing with confidence. “You’re trying to hide from me.”
My pulse heavy, I swing my eyes back to his and face him, almost defiantly. I have to prove to him I can handle him. Prove it to myself.
“I’m not hiding,” I manage to say through pursed lips. Of course my voice quivers right at the end, betraying my nerves.
Why does he have to be so fricking gorgeous?
He’s just an absolute flawless blend of masculine beauty and raw male strength. The waves of his dark hair hang just right, framing his faultless face and model-esque cheekbones. If he wasn’t busy being a tough guy on a motorcycle, he could be in Milan strutting his stuff on the catwalk.
He slowly takes my hand in his, and just like before, that same spark shoots through my body, nearly causing me to gasp out loud. Somehow, I manage to keep it together.
“Don’t worry about Roxy.” His tone becomes suddenly very serious. “I may be a lot of things, but I’m not a liar. Not like other guys you may have known.”
“Other guys,” I laugh softly, raising my eyebrows. “Yeah, haven’t known many of them.”
His grip on my hand tightens. His eyes are filled with raw intensity, burning with something deep, like a need to prove himself to me. “I would never hurt you, Tammy. You belong to me now. All I want is to keep you safe.”
I draw in a deep breath, trying to calm myself., but I feel like I’m about to have a heart attack. There’s something in the way he’s speaking to me now–something so possessive that it might feel wrong to some girls. But to me, it just feels so right. And yeah, maybe it’s because I have daddy issues. But so what? Can a girl live, for Christ’s sake?
“Saxon–” I start to say, but he cuts me off.
“This isn’t a discussion, Tammy,” he says firmly, his voice like warm gravel. “I’m telling you. You belong to me now .”
My heart is absolutely pounding in my chest as I swallow hard. My brain is telling me to argue. Tell him he doesn’t get to tell me what to do, or who I do or don’t belong to–that I’m a strong, independent woman and not just some girl he can claim because he says so. But the rest of me is thrilled, like something deep and dark has just come alive inside me. Something that is in love with the idea of being owned by him.
Another dangerous man…
I should turn around and run. But I can’t.
“Saxon…” I murmur, my voice quivering. “ I’m not like the women you’re used to…like Roxy, for example.”
He leans even closer. His rough calluses feel so sexy against the back of my hand. “Good,” he replies firmly. “That’s what makes you so damn irresistible.”
The space between us is electric, filled with tension like the air right before a thunder storm. He only has one of my hands, but that’s all he needs to make it clear he’s staking claim to his property.
I mean, after what we did last night…
I’m trapped in the moment. Soaking in the warm bliss of his intense gaze. My heart is trembling as memories fill my mind of me lying on my back on his bike, staring up at the stars as he kissed me, thrusting inside me like I was always meant to be his.
That memory, I already know, will forever be a highlight of my life.
He turns my hand over against the bar and gently runs a finger up my wrist. My entire body trembles, further igniting the fire already growing inside me. My want for this man goes beyond desperation.
“ You are mine, Tammy. You.” His words encapsulate me like a spell, wrapping me up like a whirlwind. And in that moment, I know, my life will never be the same.