Chapter 37
thirty-seven
. . .
Bridger
Her words stung, probably because there was some truth to them.
But ultimately, this would be an incredible opportunity for Emilia.
I wanted the best for her.
She deserved that.
“I’m a coward? For wanting the best for you? You’re overreacting. This is the dream, isn’t it? Your name will be tied to one of the biggest luxury hotels in the world. You’ll be living in New York City, and you can eventually start your own company there once you make a name for yourself.”
“I don’t design hotels, Bridger. I’ve also never had any desire to live in New York,” she shouted, rubbing the tips of her fingers against her temples. “I run a flower shop here, and I’ve started a design business here. I also have a home here, and I thought I had a boyfriend here as well.”
I’m a businessman. This is what I do. I’m a problem solver.
“I met with your brother while I was there. We think Beatrice can handle taking over the flower shop. But Brenner will also run interviews to find an assistant for her. Jacoby is also going to speak to your mother about giving you half of his ownership, so you’d each have ten percent ownership in the flower shop.
I also had my Realtor run the comps on rentals, and your home will rent out easily. You’ll be cash flow positive.”
Her face paled, and I immediately regretted my words.
Because I saw the devastation. I’d hurt her, and I wasn’t even sure what I’d done.
“You met with my brother to discuss my replacement, as well as sharing his split of the business with me. You found an apartment for me to lease. You met with Pierre about a job for me. And you reached out to your Realtor about renting out my home?” She shook her head with disbelief. “Wow. You met with everyone but me.”
“I wanted to surprise you,” I said, moving forward, attempting to close the distance between us. This was supposed to be good news.
But it was anything but that.
She put her hands up to stop me. “Don’t come any closer, Bridger. I know what this is.”
“This is a good thing, Emilia. This will be great for you.”
She blew out a breath, studying me for a long moment as if she was trying to figure me out.
“No. This isn’t great for me. This isn’t even about me.
Oh my gosh. This is about the fact that I told you that I loved you, and you can’t handle it.
You’re so goddamn afraid of being loved that you’re trying to push me away! ”
I pursed my lips. “That’s ludicrous.”
“Is it? Ever since I said told you that I loved you, I’ve felt a distance from you.
You can’t handle what’s happening between us, because you’re so freaking terrified.
So you decided to make all of these decisions for me about my future, and my life, without discussing them with me.
Because you knew I wouldn’t want to do it, so you just took it upon yourself to do it for me.
That’s how bad you want me gone?” Her voice cracked with her last words.
She appeared exhausted and—broken.
My chest ached in a way that it never had, and I rubbed my face. What was I doing? I was pushing away the woman I loved.
Did I really think she’d be happy with this arrangement?
I honestly didn’t know, because I was so fucked up right now.
“I’ve never lied to you, Emilia. I’ve always said that you deserve better than me.”
“Well, for the first time since you’ve said those words to me, I actually agree with you.
Because a man who loved me the way that I loved him would know that I don’t want to move to New York.
He would know that I don’t want to design a bougie hotel because I like designing homes.
Homes that I can restore character in. In a town that I love.
Surrounded by people that I love.” Tears streamed down her beautiful face, and my chest was so tight as I watched her fall apart, almost as if it were being crushed.
I started to speak, but she stopped me. She wasn’t done telling me what an asshole I was.
“I don’t care about a house full of flowers, or your stupid fancy toilets, or any of that.
All I wanted…” She gasped for air as she pounded her hand against her chest. “All I wanted was you. I love you, and I was willing to deal with the fact that we wanted different things, because none of that mattered when I was with you. Because you feel like forever to me. But you’re so afraid of your feelings, Bridger.
You can’t handle being loved, and you’ve made that very clear. ”
“I thought I was doing something good,” I said, the lie escaping my lips easily. She was right. I was pushing her away because I was a coward. I was so terrified of letting her down that it was easier to give her the opportunity to walk away. Loving Emilia Taylor terrified the shit out of me.
“No, you didn’t.” She stepped closer, eyes puffy and red.
Her tear-streaked cheeks nearly broke me.
“You used your power and your influence to push me away so that you wouldn’t have to deal with how you felt.
And then you wrapped it up in a pretty little package with a house full of flowers and a fancy apartment.
You don’t know me at all if you thought that would work. ”
“I told you that I’d fuck this up.” Now I was trying to justify my plan, proving even more just how fucked up I was.
She let out a labored breath. “Well, you are a man of your word, aren’t you?
You can let your friend know that I will not be taking the job.
A job that I never even interviewed for.
I can’t imagine what you offered him to get me that position.
How desperate you were to get me to leave. ” Her words broke on a sob.
“Angel, it’s not like that. I never said we wouldn’t continue seeing one another,” I said, and I was no longer sure if I was trying to convince her or me at this point.
“Living on opposite sides of the country? That’s not realistic, and you know it.
At least be honest with yourself. But I’m going to do you a solid,” she said, her voice trembling.
“This ends now. The only thing I want from you is for you to walk out that door, and don’t look back unless you figure your shit out.
You’ve made it clear how you feel about me. ”
What the fuck have I done?
“Emilia,” I said, attempting to reach for her, but she stormed past me and pulled the door open.
“Leave now.”
I just stared down at her as I slipped my coat on.
She wouldn’t look at me.
Couldn’t stand the sight of me.
I turned and stepped outside. The apology was barely out of my mouth when the door slammed loudly behind me.
For the first time in my life, I felt like my world had just ended.
I climbed into my truck and drove to my parents’ house. I knew they’d talk me through it, and where I normally wanted to be alone, I didn’t want that right now.
I drove the short distance and parked in the driveway, the pain in my chest making it difficult to breathe.
I pushed the front door open and heard Cutler’s voice coming from down the hallway. He was here with my parents for a few days while Nash and Emerson were on a little trip together.
“Uncle B, what are you doing here? It’s Valentine’s Day,” he said as he ran toward me, and I bent down and gave him a hug.
“Hey, Beefcake, I was just coming by to check on everyone.” I felt sick to my stomach. I was actually having a physical reaction to what had just happened.
My mother came around the corner first, concern etched on her face the minute she took me in. “Sweetheart, I thought you were with Emilia tonight?”
My father was next, and he had the same concern in his gaze.
I gave them the short version of what had happened. The dishonest version that I’d tried to sell to Emilia.
The version where I was trying to do something good for her.
“Oh man, my uncles are not good with the ladies,” Cutler said, taking a bite of a cookie and then studying me. “That would hurt my feelings if someone wanted me to move far away.”
Even he looked appalled by me.
“I thought she’d be happy,” I said, trying to justify my actions, which I knew deep down were not right.
“You did? I think your girl just wants you to spend Valentine’s Day with her and tell her that you love her.
That’s what my pops says. I don’t think Mama would be happy if he found her a job far away.
” He scratched the side of his head. “Remember when me and Pops took an airplane all the way to find Mama and tell her we loved her because that’s what family does? They want to be together, not apart.”
My father cleared his throat and gave me that knowing look.
This was much deeper than I’d wanted it to be.
We all knew it.
“I do remember that,” I said, a lump forming in my throat. I’d fucked up big time, and I didn’t even know if it was fixable. “You guys brought her back home.”
“Yep. And we were okay with living there with Mama if she wanted to stay. Because that’s all that matters, Uncle B. Being together. Isn’t Emilia your girl?”
“Yes,” I said, my voice gruff.
“Then that means she’s your family.”
I nodded and rubbed my face as my mother brought over two mugs and set them in front of us. She glanced at my father, who told Cutler they were going to give my mom and me some time to talk, and the two left to go play some cards.
“I fucked up,” I told her, keeping my voice low.
“No doubt about it,” she said, pushing the cup of tea closer to me. “The question is, why’d you do it? What made you think that would be a good idea?”
“I’m not good at this. You know that.”
“No, sweetheart. That’s not going to fix this. That’s a cop-out. What would cause you to set up a meeting with a man in New York City about a job for your girlfriend, without talking to her to even see if it was something that she’d want?”