15. Chapter 15 #2
I want to show him everything. All the pleasures he’s been missing out on. This is far from enough; I need to give myself to him, and he needs to fucking understand that he can’t ever leave me.
“Asher?…,” he moans. “I think I’m going to?…”
Go ahead , I think, mouth full of his cock.
Go ahead and come, and I’ll get to know what it feels like to get filled with …
Wow. My eyes widen as his cock pulses in my mouth and spurts with cum.
I make sure to keep it all in my mouth, wanting to feed it to him after.
I try to keep my lips tight around him, prolonging his pleasure as much as I can.
When I think he’s done, I rise from my knees and grab his panting face, making him taste himself, determined that he’s going to remember this for the rest of his life, and that it will be a long life, damn it. He won’t leave me. He’ll stay here with me, and I’ll stay here with him.
Our tongues meet as I push his cum into his mouth, and his whimpered breath makes me want to push him down on his knees and have him return the favor.
He looks pretty fucking done for when I stop kissing him, though, so I tuck his soft dick back into his pants, and I give him one last kiss on the tip of his nose.
“How was that?”
“How was?…?Wow.” He’s leaning against the wall, his legs still trembling. “Asher, that was?…”
“Good?”
“Yeah. Really fucking good.”
I smirk at the profanity coming out of his mouth. He almost never swears, but now that I’ve sucked his cock, he does.
I wonder what he’ll say once he’s fucked me.
After a look around the kitchen, I spot a dusty-looking bottle of olive oil by the stove. It’s not ideal, but it will work in a pinch.
“What’s that for?” Noah asks.
“Don’t be such a virgin,” I tease, and I take his hand and lead him toward the basement door.
“Ash.”
“Shut up. Just come with me.”
“I have lube, you know.”
I stop in the middle of the stairs so suddenly that I almost fall headfirst into the darkness. “You do?”
“Well, yeah. I use it for masturbating.”
I would laugh, but I’m way too wired and impatient. “Well, go get it, then. I’ll wait for you.”
Noah turns around, and I go down into the basement and sit on the bed.
The bed where I’ve spent so many hours being furious with him and plotting his death.
The bed where I’ve sweated out my cravings and replaced them with cravings for Noah.
It’s not like I don’t get those cravings for drugs anymore, but at least for now, I’m distracted enough that I don’t think about them.
Except for now. So let’s just?…?stop thinking about them and focus on getting my clothes off instead. Perfect.
By the time Noah comes down the stairs, I’m lounging naked on the bed, trying to appear sexy, I guess.
Noah looks as blank-faced as ever. He just stands there, a bottle of lube in his hand, sliding his gaze up my body. I force myself to look at him in challenge, with one eyebrow raised, even though my heart is pounding with the attention and the anticipation of what we’re about to do.
“Come here,” I say softly. Noah sets the bottle of lube on the floor and kneels on the bed. I mirror his movements, sliding up in front of him and gripping the edge of his shirt. “Take this off.”
He lets me slide his shirt off, exposing his pale stomach, his slightly protruding ribs, his dusty pink nipples, and his angular shoulders.
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were the drug addict,” I say with a smirk.
His mouth tightens.
“It’s not a bad thing,” I say quickly. “You’re beautiful, Noah.”
I lean in to kiss the sharp jut of his collarbone, and as I move further up, kissing his throat, I feel him relax. I get stuck there, sucking on his skin, wanting to mark him and have him bear the proof of me long after we’re done with each other.
If we’re ever done with each other. Right now, it feels like that moment will never come.
Noah inhales a sharp breath, and I tear myself away from his throat to capture his mouth instead. He’s hesitant at first, kissing me slowly, but then I grip his cheeks and guide his head to the side, deepening our connection.
When our tongues meet, I groan into his mouth, feeling my cock harden between my legs and poke his crotch. He’s still wearing pants, so I bring my hands down to unbutton his jeans.
“Mm, fuck, you’re already hard again,” I mumble in awe as I slide his pants down.
I palm the underside of his cock, pressing it to his stomach. When I let go, it bounces back, hard and heavy. I grip it again, stroking it slowly at the base, contemplating how it’s going to fit inside me.
I haven’t had anything thicker than a finger up there. I tried it once, or Lilith tried it, and I didn’t really care for that awkward pressure. But maybe a cock is going to feel better, different. I hope it won’t hurt.
I wrap my hand around the head, imagining it going inside, eased by lubrication, and my cock twitches at the thought. Even if it might hurt a little, I want it. In a flash of confidence I didn’t know I possessed, I let go of Noah’s cock and grab his hands instead, guiding them to my ass.
He grips me there, hesitant and breathless. “Y-You want me to?…?”
“Yeah. Sure. I don’t know.”
He frowns. “You don’t know?”
“No, I want it, okay? I want you. I’m giving myself to you—all of me. Don’t you want that?”
Noah closes his eyes, our bodies rolling, our cocks rubbing, his hands kneading my ass. “I want that. You have no idea how much. But I?…?I want you to have me too.”
“Mm-hmm, but I already have you, don’t I?” I try for a smirk, but it wavers, and my words don’t come out as self-assured as I planned. “I’ve had you from the start.”
Noah says nothing, but I see the truth of admission in his eyes.
He may have been the one to kidnap me and hold me captive, but I’ve always had an effect on him since the moment he laid eyes on me.
Knowing this is what allows me to continue, without fear, without more than a little apprehension—because I know he won’t hurt me.
Not on purpose, anyway, the way I have hurt him.
“We don’t have any condoms,” Noah mumbles against my mouth.
I raise a brow. “Well, you were about to kill yourself just now, but a little unprotected sex is crossing the line?”
Maybe it’s selfish of me, since I’m far more likely to carry diseases than he is, but I test myself on a fairly regular basis, being a druggie and all.
“You want me to?” Noah asks, something distressed in his voice, even as he’s rutting against me. “You really want me to?”
“God, how many times do I have to tell you? Yes, I want you to. Please, Noah.”
His eyes darken, and I gasp as he pushes one hand on my chest and lays me down on the bed, kissing me all the while. His hand travels down my torso to grip my cock. Lips parted, he looks down between our bodies as he strokes me from base to tip.
“I want to make you feel the way you did to me in the kitchen.”
“You can,” I say, licking my lips. “Later. Right now, I want you to—”
“Touch you here?” His other hand slides down past my balls, and his finger skirts across my hole.
“Yeah,” I hiss. The feeling isn’t unpleasant, but it’s not exactly pleasurable either. It tickles a little. Feels kind of strange.
Noah reaches over to grab the bottle of lube. He squirts a dollop into his hand and brings that hand between my cheeks.
“Cold,” I hiss.
“Sorry.” His brows knit in concentration as he circles the rim of my hole with his finger. Or two fingers; I can’t really tell.
“Have you watched porn before, Noah?” I ask, desperate to gain control over this situation—a situation I put myself in.
“A little. But I’ve?…?read about it. I like reading.”
“Sure you do, nerd.” My smirk is replaced by a gasp when he pushes a finger inside. “Oh,” I choke out.
“Relax, Goldilocks.”
“Okay,” I gasp. It startled me, that feeling, even though I thought I was ready for it. “Okay. Okay.”
“I’ve thought about it too. A lot.”
“What? Fucking me?”
He nods, and that determined look in his eyes makes me whimper for some reason. His finger in my ass makes me whimper even more.
“You doing me. Me doing you.” He goes deeper, deeper, until he pushes past the final knuckle, and my breath catches in my throat. “Everything.”
“Fuck?…?I want everything too, but I’m?…” I’m scared . Scared of the pain that might come. But I don’t just want to do this; I have to. Noah can’t ever leave me alone again. I have to show him how good it can feel to be alive.
“Here.” He grabs my hand and guides it to his arm. “Squeeze me when you’re ready to add one more.”
One more? Oh god. One already feels like a lot.
“What does it feel like?” I ask, desperate for some kind of distraction. “Being inside me?”
“It’s so tight,” Noah mumbles. “And warm.” His lips part as he slides his finger out of me, agonizingly slow. “Can’t wait to feel this around my cock.”
“Oh god.” I throw my head back against the pillow, my face heating up. I can’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. And yet his voice is so flat, so devoid of emotion, even when he says those dirty things to me. I tighten my hand around his arm. “One more.”
The pressure increases as he tries to do as I told him, and pearls of sweat form on his brow.
“Exhale,” he tells me, and I do. Pressure, pressure, and then?…?the second finger slips inside. “Good,” he mumbles. “I almost thought it wasn’t going to work.”
“It will work,” I grit out, rocking my hips a little to get used to the feeling. “It has to work.”
“It doesn’t have to. We have time.”
He’s right; we’re all alone in here, with nowhere to go, yet part of me feels like the world is pressing in on us.
That our time together is limited. That any second now, we’ll be ripped from each other.
By who? I have no idea. Maybe by each other.
Maybe by Noah deciding it’s not worth his time being alive after all. I can’t let that happen.