15. Chapter 15 #3
He twists his fingers inside me as he keeps sliding them in and out. At last, it no longer feels so foreign. It feels good, even.
“I’m ready,” I mumble, squeezing his arm. “I’m ready for you now, Noah. Please take me.”
I no longer care about the risk of pain. This is taking too long, and I’m dying to feel him inside, to show him the pleasures he’s been missing out on.
He grips his cock and fits himself between my legs, but I stop him by squeezing his arm.
“More lube.”
“Oh.” He pours another dollop of lube into his hand and slides it over his cock. “Sorry.” He licks his lips and tries again, and I tilt my head back, waiting for that intrusion to come. Instead, he just rests the head of his cock against my entrance. “Are you scared?”
“No. Are you?”
He smiles, and his hair falls into his face, hiding everything except his glittering eyes. “Don’t lie, Goldilocks.”
I fail to hold back a whimper. Fuck, why does it suddenly feel like I’m the virgin between the two of us?
I guess I am, in a way—I haven’t ever gotten my ass fucked before, let alone by a guy—but I’ve had sex before, a hundred times by now.
Yet it feels like I’m experiencing every sensation for the first time.
I want to get it over with, want to get used to it.
“Do it. Please do it, Noah.”
He sinks toward my body, and the pressure?…?it?…?it burns . But I have to do this; I want to?…?I try to relax my muscles, try to focus on Noah instead—how his hair curtains his face and his brow scrunches in concentration.
And?…?he’s inside.
God. Oh god.
“Does that hurt?” he asks, gaze flipping up to me.
“No.” It burns a bit. Okay, a lot . “Keep going.”
“Are you—”
“Are you going to do it or not?” I snap.
“Not if I’m going to hurt you.”
Tears press at the back of my throat. “Why do you care so much? I’ve hurt you .”
“I’ve hurt you as well. But I don’t want to do that now. I want to pleasure you. I want to be able to fuck you without holding back. Will you let me do that?”
“Yes,” I hiss, eyes burning with tears, with frustration, with pain, and with the weight of it all. “I’ve already told you.”
He pulls back and out of me. “You won’t get it unless you’re honest with me.”
“Fuck being honest. Just fuck me.”
His mouth twists in a grimace as he leans back on his heels. Wait?…?is he really not going to do it?
Panicked, I rock my hips against him, grabbing for his shoulders. “Okay, okay, I’ll be honest: It burns a little, okay, but I think it’s supposed to. I think it’ll feel better once I’m used to it.”
Noah grunts and plants his hands on either side of me. “Are you sure?”
I nod desperately. “I’m sure.”
He lowers himself on top of me, sinking his cock inside again. That stabbing feeling comes back, but it’s not as bad as before. I’ll get used to it, I’ll get used to it?…
“H-How does it feel for you?” I ask, voice shaking.
“Intense,” he mumbles, voice strained.
“Yeah, for me too.”
“It’s really tight. Feels like I’ll hurt you if I go deeper.”
“You can go deeper. I want you to— ah, fuck !” I cry out as he thrusts inside, deeper than before, so deep I feel his hips meet my ass.
“Was that okay?” he asks, alarmed.
Holy shit. He’s all the way inside me. Buried balls deep in my ass. His base being thicker than the rest of him, it feels like he’s splitting me apart, in a good way, if that can make any sort of sense.
“Yeah. Yeah, it’s okay.” I wrap my arms around his shoulders, my legs wrapped around his hips, every inch of our bodies connected.
Noah braces himself with his hands on the mattress as he dumps his weight onto me with every thrust.
Okay, it feels pretty fucking good now. As I look into Noah’s eyes, even the pain feels like pleasure.
He leans back and bends my knees up high, looking down between our bodies, at my cock straining toward my belly.
“Are you going to come for me, Goldilocks?”
“Maybe,” I grit out. “If you’d— fuck —stop calling me that.”
He slams into me so hard it feels like he’ll tear my guts out. But I love it. Fuck, I’ve never loved anything more than this. My moans come out high-pitched like whines, embarrassing ones, but when Noah lets go of one of my knees to wrap his hand around my cock, I gain another point of focus.
The residual lube on his hand eases the glide, and somehow, it turns out to be all I need—that touch. He’s not even jerking me off; he’s just holding me, and as his sticky thumb slides up the underside, I feel the beginnings of it: a surge of pleasure, making me feel like I’m about to explode.
“Fuck, Noah, please, I’m?…” I’m coming. Holy fucking shit, I’m coming.
My back arches, my toes curl, and my mouth garbles some mangled string of curses as the most intense orgasm of my life blasts through my body, so intense it’s painful.
My asshole clenches around Noah’s shaft as an endless string of “oh my god, oh my god, oh my god” loops in my head and spills out of my mouth.
Noah thrusts into me a final time, coming with a grunt. Afterward, he lies by my side, and he kisses me deeply, coaxing breathless noises out of my mouth.
“You’re mine, Ash,” he says, eyes fixed on me. “I’m in your blood now. I’ll always be with you.”
“Oh god,” I groan, feeling like none of this is real and at the same time like it’s realer than I can handle.
“Until you take your last breath, I’ll be with you.”
Hm, that’s a weird thing to say, but my brain isn’t online enough yet to think of a reply.
“Asher?”
“Yeah?”
“I wasn’t disappointed.”
It takes a while until I realize what he means. I suppose I told him that his first time having sex would be a disappointment. I want to laugh in reply, but it comes out as more of a sob.
“Is it always like this?” he asks after a while.
“No. No, it’s not always like this.” The chemicals flooding my body right now are almost enough that I’d call it a high. Almost. I shift my gaze toward him, trying to smile. “You know what this means? I just took your virginity.”
“And I took yours.”
I snort, but when I look into his dark eyes and see his rare, smug expression, my snort teeters dangerously close to a whimper. Our chests are heaving as we stare at each other, rib cages pulsating in and out.
“I want you to do me too,” Noah says.
“Okay. Just?…?give me a minute.”
He chuckles, dark and delighted. Fuck, I can’t stand it if he’s going to become some sort of sex fiend now that he’s lost his virginity. I won’t be able to keep up with him, though if he means what he’s saying, I guess it won’t be my ass taking damage next time.
“It’s okay,” he says. “We have time, don’t we?”
Yes. If I’m going to stay with him and shut out the outside world, we have time, and we have each other—nothing but each other. No one cares about me, but Noah does, and I still don’t know what to think about that.
“Yeah,” I mumble. “We have time.”