Conflicted
Morgan
If it were any other occasion, I’d easily say Creed never looked hotter then when he allowed Addie to hold on to him.
Addie didn’t want to let go of Creed, but when he needed to take a call while I was making dinner, she held on to my leg the entire time. I held her, tried to comfort her, but it seemed like maybe she thought if she let go we would disappear.
Unlike Creed, who practically inhaled his homemade spaghetti and meatballs, Addie didn’t eat much. She had to sit right next to Creed and I was feeling uneasy about it. Creed was leaving, and I was afraid how that would effect Addie when the time came. I decided to give it a few days to see how she did because Creed had to go to work, and we would be alone more often.
After dinner, Creed helped clean up the kitchen, then we let Addie choose what to watch on television. She chose The Karate Kid, which of course made Creed happy. She sat on his lap through the whole movie, and they even shared a bowl of popcorn. Every once in a while, Addie would climb over to me and hug me before climbing back on Creed’s lap.
At bedtime, she chose the pajama set with suns and pink flowers. It was cute because it was a pair of cotton shorts with a baby doll top. We had bath time then I brushed her hair and braided it. As I was braiding her hair, I thought it was a good time to talk.
“Its me and you, always. I promise, Addie. I will never leave you behind.” She was sitting on my lap as I sat on her bed.
“Mommy died.” She was sitting too calmly for a six year old. A real consequence of the childhood she had with Callie and Shane. The poor little girl saw and lived through too much. She acted a bit older than she should from time to time.
“I know, and I’m sorry, Addie. Your mommy loved you more than anything.”
“Daddy died.”
What the hell was I supposed to say about that? That I hoped he burned in hell?
“Daddy had a sickness that made him do those things. It’s all gone now and that sickness can’t ever make him hurt anyone again. We are safe and I will always do what’s best to make it stay that way.”
“Da big guy too?” She asked.
Shit, I couldn’t exactly tell her that Creed was going somewhere dangerous and wouldn’t always be around.
“That big guy will always do his best to stay safe. Do you know what a soldier is, Addie?” I asked.
She nodded big. “Da big guy say he is like dat.”
“When?” I was around them all day.
“Da day mommy died when you swept.”
“At the hospital? Addie, do you really remember all that?” I thought that night would have been like a daze to her.
She nodded.
“Creed’s job is to keep everyone safe, so he might not always be here, but I promise I’ll always be with you. Even if we have to go on an airplane, you will always go with me.” I finished braiding her hair.
“Otay.”
“Lets go say goodnight to Creed then we will get ready for bed.” I lifted her off my lap, then took her hand. We made our way downstairs and found Creed in his office. As soon as he looked up from his laptop, a smile rose on his face and his eyes softened.
“Look at you, little miss Addie. Auntie Morgan braided your hair, and you look like a princess.” He said as she climbed on his lap. “Are you ready for bed?”
Addie laid her head on his chest and yawned. “Otay. Tank you.”
I didn’t know it was possible to witness a man’s heart actually melt. His eyes darted up to mine and I could literally see it happening right in front of my eyes. Creed carried her upstairs and first showed her my bedroom and his so she would know where to find us. Then he tucked her into her bed, but she asked that we wouldn’t leave until she fell asleep. Creed sat on the side of the bed, and I laid down next to her. Creed waited patiently as I read one of the books he picked out for her. It was titled “The Grumpy Monkey” by Suzanne Lang.
Her eyes grew heavier and heavier, until eventually they gently closed. Creed took her glasses off and set them on the nightstand. I looked at Creed for an answer if it was okay to leave the room, but he just shrugged his shoulders. Neither one of us had the first clue how to raise a kid. We gave it another few minutes before leaving the room. We left the hallway light on and didn’t shut her door all the way. Quietly, we tiptoed downstairs. He was ahead of me, but stopped at the bottom of the stairs. “I have a monitor in her room, let me get you one of the hand sets so you can see her.” He led me to his office. I knew he was going to do something, but I wasn’t sure how high tech he was going to get with it.
He reached in his drawer and pulled out a small monitor with a screen. “You can see and hear her on this, but you can also pull it up on your phone. I can download the app for you if you’d like.” He offered as he handed it to me.
“Sure, my phone is in the kitchen.”
He stuck his hands in his pockets and gave me a nod like he wanted me to go get it.
“Okay, I’ll just go grab it.” I turned and led the way to the kitchen. I wanted to talk more about his deployment and was especially curious what else he said he had to tell me. Once in the kitchen, I grabbed my phone from the counter and turned to give it to him, but he was so close our chests nearly touched.
“Umm…here’s my phone.”
He didn’t take it. Instead, our eyes locked and once again he took my breath away. As I looked so closely into his eyes, I noticed his iris had a dark blue ring around them, a very light green, then they turned blue once again around the pupils. I had never seen such beautiful eyes in my life.
“Did you think about what I asked of you today?” He was still studying my eyes. I had worked with the most beautiful men on earth, but never looked into such a gorgeous pair of eyes. There was something about them that was more than just their unusual coloring, but almost as if they spoke to me. Trying to send a silent message in the kindness I found in them. I spent time with him, day after day, and I still felt like an awkward teenager around him. One look could make me blush, and I couldn’t remember ever having such a huge…crush. A crush? I was almost thirty years old, and I wasn’t sure if a crush was something I should have outgrown. The attraction was out of this world, and he made me so nervous like I was a fumbling idiot at times. If he were an actor and we were shooting a movie, I didn’t think I could do my job. I would have messed up every line and we would never make it through any scenes. Well, maybe the sex scenes since he had a way of shooting electric currents through me. The thought of his bare chest pressed against mine…I had to stop thinking that way.
“I guess maybe that depends.” I answered.
“What does it depend on, Morgan? You and Addie will have freedoms here that you wouldn’t have anywhere else. I’d feel better knowing everyone in this community will be watching out for both of you. The Rejects will be dealt with before I leave, I can promise that much, but there’s still other factors at play.”
“I think we need to finish our talk from today. I understand why you have to leave, why most people don’t know, and that you don’t want to go, but what we’re you trying to say about us?” I bit my bottom lip as I waited for an answer. His eyes finally left mine and he reached down for my phone.
“Then let’s talk. How about some wine?” He offered.
“Sure.”
He stepped away and put my phone in his pocket. “Red or white?” He opened the wine fridge under the cabinet.
“Lets do white.” I pulled myself up and sat on the counter as he went for the wine glasses.
“Do you have questions about my deployment?” He pulled down two glasses and set them on the counter.
“We have six weeks left. That’s six weeks for Addie to get attached to you. Will you at least be able to call her?” I leaned back on my hands and crossed my legs. He glanced at them, and I noticed his lips curl up on one side before he looked away and picked up the corkscrew.
“At times, we can even video call, but we may go dark and that just means we aren't in a position to communicate. It won’t mean anything is wrong.” He began pouring two glasses.
“I will still buy a home either way. We can’t stay forever, Creed. I want to start the adoption process and I’m not sure that can be done here. There’s too many secrets and I know they’ll want to do a home study.”
He set the wine bottle down. “I guess you don’t think they’ll take too kindly to the armed guards and my arsenal of weapons?” He took me off guard when he stepped in front of me, uncrossed my legs and then stepped between them. “It’ll be a fake home just for the adoption. I don’t want either of you to leave, Morgan.”
Typically, that kind of statement would have resulted in a heated conversation, but his close proximity had me melting to not just his scent, but his touch as well. I gasped when he grabbed my ass and pulled me closer to him just before he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me off the counter. Our eyes stayed locked as my body slid down his until my feet met the floor. When I noticed I was all but panting, I realized my eyes were probably begging him to lower his head and finally kiss me. Disappointment took my entire being over when he stepped back and reached for the wine glasses.
“Lets take these outside.” He turned and left me frozen. What the hell was that? I never would have suspected Creed to be a tease. When my body and brain decided to work again, I grabbed the bottle of wine and the baby monitor, then walked to the back patio where I found Creed lighting the gas fireplace. I set the bottle down and took a seat on the outdoor sofa. He pulled my phone from his pocket and took a seat next to me on the sofa. I watched as he downloaded an app.
I decided to start the conversation.” I appreciate everything you’ve offered, but Addie will need to go to school, and I can’t keep living at your expense. I’ve earned my own money, and I need to pay my own way.”
He looked up from my phone and strait into my eyes again. What was it with those damn eyes of his?
“Then get involved. What kind of skills do you have that can benefit the community? I already know you wanted to teach someday.”
I lifted my shoulders into a shrug. “I don’t know. I like to garden and bake, but I’ve also got a masters in education. Also, a degree in performing arts, but I don’t think that can be put to much use here.”
He tilted his head. “How so? We do have a home schooling program, an entire training center, and daycare programs. Maybe you can give some private music lessons as well. Either way, there’s plenty of ways to contribute if that would make you feel better about staying.”
I had to admit that I would have loved to stay at Creed’s Lake, but I couldn’t depend on Creed’s generosity forever. “How do you propose I can help with the training center?”
He set my phone down then turned his body, so he was looking at me. “You met the girls from the clubhouse. My hopes for them is to learn independence and eventually they will have to start their lives outside the community. They’ve lived hard lives, most were teenage runaways, and they don’t have the skills to live on their own without stripping. They need the ability to get good jobs, but most don’t have a high school diploma. You could help them prepare for the general education diploma. You could teach the subjects they need to learn before they take the test. The children’s home school program is online, but I think you could offer a classroom setting for them a few days of the week, and maybe do some tutoring. Personally, if I had kids, I’d want them to go to either a public or private school, but some parents don’t feel its safe. They are limited on a few subjects, like music. Maybe teach a music class, or even a drama class, and it doesn’t have to be just the home school kids, but the other kids as well. It’ll help socialize the home school kids in a classroom setting.” He reached up for his beard to run his hand over it, which was something I noticed he did from time to time, but the beard wasn’t there, and I almost laughed at him. “I won’t lie, Morgan. I was thinking about this for a while. I even spoke to Granger and Stephanie and they both thought it was a great idea. It’s also something Melissa could help you with, since she has daycare experience. Once you’ve successfully retired, there wouldn’t be as much for her to do anyway. It could benefit her as well.”
I could literally feel my heart growing in size. He really must have done some thinking, so did that mean he really did want me to stay? Wouldn’t that mean Addie only had to adjust to this community instead of moving her again?
“How long would the people in this community accept us? I’m not a wife and I’m also not one of the girls at the clubhouse. Won’t the members of this community question why I have the privilege to stay here?”
He lifted one shoulder to a shrug. “We have offered Patrick to prospect, and he won’t ever do missions and he’s not a veteran. Plus, we have to face reality, Morgan. You will never be forgotten by Hollywood or your fans. Like it or not, you’re timeless and you’ll never have a normal life. This community is the closest you’ll ever get to a normal life. You’re free to roam the community and do normal things. You can grocery shop, take Addie to the movies and other activities, enjoy a night out with the girls, and sleep well at night knowing some crazed fan won’t show up in your home. You’ll also have protection at your fingertips. Once the Rejects are handled, the lockdown is lifted, and the paparazzi gives up, you can come and go from the compound. I do think you need to consider how well Addie will handle it when you’re always approached by strangers and people are always taking pictures”
“You’re trying to make it impossible for me to say no.” I wasn’t just amused, but my heart sped up. Like maybe he wanted us here for more than just our safety.