Chapter 24 Cielo
Cielo
Waking up wrapped around Benjamin seems like a lifetime ago, even though, in reality it’s been, roughly, only fourteen hours. My day is one long drag as I try to make it to the other end with my sanity in one piece.
I could be exaggerating. The docks always leave me feeling wound up.
It’s the stress of never really knowing if I’m being set-up, or if our contacts will suddenly want to renegotiate their contract and rates, or if the cargo is damaged or incorrect.
There is nothing about visiting the docks that makes me happy, especially tonight when I had to deal with a newbie.
The only thing that got me through the ordeal was the thought of a glass of wine and my balcony.
Benjamin zipped through my mind, but I shut that down.
I can’t afford to want him. Last night and this morning were perfect—too perfect.
We met under extreme circumstances and emotions have been high from day one.
My mind refuses to let my soft heart think there could be anything real with him, even though this morning I still had a glimmer of hope, I now know it’s foolish.
When the dust settles, and Benjamin is back home, this will all be just a memory to him.
Actually, I think that’s when he’ll come to understand he made a mistake.
It hurts to think that, but it’s true. When his nerves and emotions are not calling the shots, he’ll be glad he got away from me.
That’s why I focus on the bottle of wine instead of the man who surprises me at every turn.
The villa is dark by the time I return home. I make a quick snack board and trudge upstairs. I can’t wait to let my hair down—literally. When I no longer have to present myself as the polished mobster, I think I’ll make a point of always leaving my hair down. No more headaches for me.
I pass Benjamin’s door and stop. Giggling and laughter vibrate through the wood, which makes me smile. It sounds like Benjamin, Kevin, and Penny are having a good time. I briefly wonder if he’s told them about last night. My ego swells because I know I showed him a good time.
Leaving them to what I can only presume is an adult slumber party, I slip into my room and lean against the door as it closes.
A rush of air leaves my lungs as I let my frustration go with the breath.
Settling the open bottle of wine on my balcony table, I perform the perfunctory bedtime routine of showering and dressing in silk pyjamas.
I’ll sleep naked, but there are mosquitos outside and the little bastards love feasting on me.
As usual, the night sky doesn’t disappoint.
I allow myself several minutes of deep breathing before taking my first sip of wine.
I make sure I indulge in every drop. It’s the sort of ritual that helps me cast the day away.
Listening to the ocean and the crickets, I settle into my seat.
My body feels heavy from the stress of the day.
There’s a sore spot on my lower back where my pistol rubbed through my shirt.
I make a mental note to put it in the gun safe as soon as I go inside.
The call from Luke I received earlier in the day plays on my mind.
He’s a good man and a loyal employee. I feel bad for exploiting his need for extra cash.
But that’s what I do best, I suppose. A deep sigh leaves my tired body.
I wonder if I can really take the Fusaro family out of the Mafiosi and go fully legit.
Isn’t being the top of the mob who we are?
Can we ever really shed our old life and start anew?
The optimistic side of me screams “yes.” That’s what we can and must do.
But the other side that grew up around mobsters and criminals begs to differ.
This way of life is ingrained in us. How long would it be until family members became restless and wanted something more?
Something that gave them the thrill of old times?
I’m a mess of contradictions and it’s pissing me off.
Being decisive is my strong suit. Yet right now, I feel so unsure.
I’ve worked my fingers to the bone to make sure the family is set up for life, but that doesn’t mean it will work out the way I hope.
Lorenzo is still the named head of the house.
Until he formally steps aside, I’m living on a wing and a prayer.
He could refuse to name me Don after he learns of my plans to take us out of this life.
Dammit, I’m supposed to be unwinding and all I’m doing is getting myself more wound up with the unknown.
Plus, I’ve gone off on a tangent. Luke’s call—that’s what I was focusing on.
The call informed me Giani was in his bar and acting oddly.
Instead of his usual garish and bullish behaviour, Luke told me he was distant and silent as his men drank and got rowdy.
Something is brewing, and I wish it would just fucking happen so I can react and end this.
Benjamin, his parents, and his friends are nothing but prisoners here.
Anyone can paint it up to look like a holiday in a luxury villa, but the truth is, they are incarcerated and unable to leave the proximity of the villa for fear of an attack.
I want this finished—now. But Giani isn’t making a move—yet.
I wonder if he’s waiting to see if I’ll grow complacent.
He’s an opportunist, after all. But then I think of him sitting in Luke’s, plotting, because that’s exactly what I think he’s doing: sitting there silently, combing through ways to get to Benjamin and hurt Lorenzo.
What he doesn’t know, though, is he would be hurting me too.
I cannot think of him getting hurt without a boiling rage exploding through my veins.
Sometimes I wish I could go back to the days where I couldn’t wait to get rid of the irritating man.
It would be easier to deal with this if that were the case.
When emotions are involved, lines get blurred and mistakes are made.
Tossing back the last of my wine, I plod to the bed more irritated than when I got home. I discard my pyjamas and slide under the sheets. The scent of Benjamin hits me like a truck and my heart squeezes, as does another part of my anatomy. I can’t help the way my body reacts.
The sheets will have to be stripped and cleaned first thing in the morning, because this is torture. More deep breathing gets me to a state where I might doze off. The light tapping on my door pulls me from the brink of sleep, and at first, I think I’m hearing things. But then it happens again.
Leaning up on my elbows, I stare at the door, hoping. Could it be?
“Enter,” I call. The door creaks open and a low light casts him in shadow. I’d know that silhouette anywhere.
Benjamin remains silent as he gently shuts the door behind him. I watch him with rapt attention, unable to speak lest I ruin the magic of this moment. It’s possibly a wonderful dream, and if so, I’d like to live in it a little while longer.
Moonlight drenches my room in a soft blue palette.
Benjamin takes a step forward and brings his hands to his top.
He unbuttons it slowly, taking his time to read my body language.
The trousers are next, and then I’m lying there, looking at him.
My breath sits in my throat, refusing to move either way.
I should tell him this is a bad idea, and that last night was perfect, leave it there and hold on to the memory of that—but I can’t. I want him again. Drawing the sheet to one side, I open up my bed as an invitation. Benjamin bites his lip and slips down his boxers.
He slides in, facing me. His hand comes to my face, cupping my cheek. It’s delicate, like this moment. I can smell wine on his breath, but his eyes are clear. He’s probably had less than me and I’m no way near drunk.
“One more night,” he whispers.
The only answer I can give is with my mouth as it crashes into his. I’m acting foolish, I know, but I’ll suffer the consequences later.
His body melts into me as I clutch his hips with growing urgency.
The fatigue and stress of the day are a distant memory as he gives himself to me.
Rolling us over, I hover above, drinking him in.
The moonlight casts us in shadow, but his eyes sparkle.
If I didn’t know better, I’d say we’re in the middle of a Criminal Casanova love scene.
Unlike the characters, though, Benjamin and I can’t have the happily ever after.
This is just an indulgence we both need to satisfy before we go back to our own worlds.
“Stay with me,” he says.
My mind snaps back to him with startling clarity.
I have such a finite amount of time with him, I refuse to lose a second of it to a wandering mind.
I sink down and move with purpose, feeling him react instantly.
We’re both already worked up—proof of our chemistry.
He threads his hands through my hair, just like last night.
“Don’t close your eyes,” I say.
He bites his lip and stares at me, enough to feel it in my very soul.
We move together as I push inside him. His chest drags against mine as his body shifts, slick with sweat.
I want to take one hard nipple into my mouth, but I can’t move—not without breaking whatever spell he’s got me under.
Looking down at him as he chases his pleasure is addictive.
It’s not the most adventurous sex, but mio Dio, it feels sublime.
The sounds we make are filthy, only tightening the charged tension coiling between us.
Sweat gathers along my spine as I press in closer, deeper, and we both lose ourselves for a second—eyes rolling, mouths parting, breath turning ragged.
I’m close and Benjamin is too. I know because he’s panting hard and his hands clamp on my arse with a strength I didn’t know he possessed.
His body shudders and his muscles lock. I feel the exact moment he breaks, and I let myself follow without thinking, both of us moaning into each other’s necks like we can’t get close enough.
Electricity lights up every nerve as I give in to him.
Only when I’ve spent every last bit of energy do I finally collapse.
His arms slide around me and we lie there, breathing hard.
Aware I’m probably crushing him, I pull out slowly and shift to the side. My leg hooks over his and my head settles on his shoulder. Should I say something—ask what this was—or just take what I can get?
“Maybe I shouldn’t have come in here. I know it was selfish, but I couldn’t stay away, Cielo.”
I like it so much better now he says my name with softness rather than a scathing heat.
“I could have asked you to leave.”
“But you didn’t.”
“I don’t think I could have made the words leave my mouth.” It’s true.
He pulls me closer. “I don’t want to talk this to death. I’m tired of talking about everything within an inch of its life. Can we just enjoy each other while I’m here?”
It’s such a bad idea. One, or probably both, of us are heading for a world of hurt, but just like before, when he stood in front of me undressing, I am powerless to say no.
“We can do that…if you’re sure.” No doubt his mothers had something to say about last night. I hope this isn’t some silly reaction to their disapproval. That would cheapen what we have.
“I’m sure. I want you, Cielo. For as long as I can.”
I nod and kiss the skin above his pec. “Then let’s not waste any more time.”
If a few nights are all I have, then I’ll happily forego sleep to show him what he’s come to mean to me.
This mob king is falling hard. What a shame the landing is going to break me.