Chapter 37 – Gabriella
He didn’t come.
For the last few months, I lived for these Tuesdays, and he didn’t come. I tried not to panic as I put my journal back in the book bag. I was more careful about what I wrote, knowing that Liam read every word.
But just because he knew, didn’t make me want to stop.
Call it sick or twisted, but I liked having this direct line of communication to the mobster.
Maybe my written words could convince him that I didn’t abhor his scarred visage.
That it was becoming impossible for me to stop the hurt the idea of ending things with him gave me.
Of course, I didn’t tell him I was leaving, but I did convey that I had real feelings for him.
Today, I recorded the garish details of the bonfire as if they were the scene in a fantasy romance novel.
I called the mobsters fae and recounted in great detail how the unseelie king was crowned.
It was fun…until I lost myself to the words and realized ninety minutes had passed.
I was sunbaked and scared as I walked out of the park with my guards.
They didn’t protest when I took the left and not the right at the four-way stop.
We crossed the road and wandered down a few residential streets.
I tried to make it seem like a pleasure stroll, when in reality my heart beat a mile a minute and I couldn’t think straight.
What if something happened?
It’s okay, maybe they took a vacation.
Normal families did that. They traveled. They spent time with friends and relatives out of state. Not that I’d ever experienced that. Papa bitched about plane fair, and what a waste it would be on a half dozen ungrateful girls. And that was before the younger sisters were born.
I stopped in front of a brownstone. Acting like I had a stone in my shoe, I waved off Finn who looked concerned despite the splotchy red patches on his skin and sweat streaming down his face.
Sitting on a raised bed of city flowers that decorated the sidewalk, I unlaced the shoe—and looked.
The blinds were open.
In the brief seconds I waited, a figure passed in front of the window. She carried a writhing lump that was redder than Finn, and I could almost hear the infant’s scream despite the glass.
O, grazie dio.
My heart ached. The way the woman held the babe made the child thrash. I would have wrapped him tight, snuggled him close. The ghost of the unknown touch tormented my arms.
That woman needed help.
The husband was never there. He should be there. The mother and child needed him, but the one time I saw him, I knew he was such a piece of work.
“Missus? Everything alright?” Finn broke my tangle of thoughts.
I jumped. “Fine! No stone.”
I shoved the shoe back on and forced myself to stand. Every instinct in my body raged that I was needed inside that house. But for the child’s sake, I made myself walk away.
I died a little more inside, but I did it.
Tears sprang to my eyes as we wandered back to Liam’s gated property. There would only be one outcome, no matter what I chose. My heart was splintered. If I left Liam, that fracture would never heal. And the same was true if I stayed.
“Dio sopra, am I really considering choosing between them?” I asked under my breath.
When it came to this fork in the road, it was hard to say.
But I was here. The time to choose my path was fast approaching.
Liam might never forgive me if I stayed with him.
The distance between us the past few days said as much.
As we passed through the gate, Storm came bounding down the driveway, where he’d been playing with the guards who’d stayed behind to monitor the property.
I bent and smooshed my face in his, despite the wriggles.
Yes, Liam was a dangerous choice, but he was a future I never dreamed I could have.
Sighing, I rose. The idea of saying goodbye to the past was just too hard. Not when I’d been dreaming of going back to it for so long. Luca was always supposed to be my future.
It went against every fiber of my being to give up on him.
Which was why I had to choose him.
But Liam…he might just be my other half. Broken, we made something whole. And that was worth fighting for.
Thanking the guards, I went into the house. The pretty kitchen gleamed. I brushed the counter’s cabinets as I hurried upstairs. The cash was safe in the Tupperware, waiting to be used.
I didn’t make it to the shower before the tears began to fall. It just hurt so much. Why, why? It shouldn’t be this hard! With the lights off, I stepped into the hot spray and sank to the ground. My knees tucked to my chest, and I dropped my head.
“My heart is going to break one way or the other,” I choked. “Does that mean I love him too?”
The image of Liam’s fierce face sprang to mind.
He rarely smiled. Occasionally smirked. But he watched.
His actions spoke louder than words. On some level, he cared about me.
Was that enough to change the course of the winds?
To sail in the other direction? Both futures were fraught with perils.
If I ran, I would always be looking over my shoulder.
If I stayed, I would have to hide my sins.
I sobbed harder. “I just can’t win.”
I didn’t know what to do.
The small things made me pause. The bigger ones, I noticed. In this short space of time, I’d fallen for my husband. But the drop had been so shallow that I hadn’t realized it was happening until it was too late.
***
“Missus, come. Quick!” Connor’s words still rang in my ear.
We wove through the polished mahogany tables and high back chairs with green upholstery.
It was hard to piece this space with the masked devil I’d come to know.
He lived on a quiet street in a curated, cozy home.
This renovated warehouse thrummed with life.
The lights overhead were extra bright, casting spotlight pools to better watch the clients.
Of course, the customers didn’t seem to care that the exterior and frame didn’t match the interior.
The stronger the glow, the more their gems, jewels, and watches shone.
Every single person was dressed to the nines.
And then there was me, wearing a black sweatshirt far too big for my body and covered in wiry dog fur, with a face free from makeup.
At least I was wearing a pair of jeans.
This was not how I imagined arriving at one of my husband’s ellusive gambling dens. The McDonagh illegal gambling rings were legendary. Many of the guys I’d worked with at the restaurant dreamed of making enough to pay the door fee, buy into a poker match, and win even bigger prizes.
The gossip wasn’t an exaggeration.
This place was insane.
We walked by a table where men in tuxedos bet with uncut diamonds. Those small rocks were more than a middle-class family made in years.
Connor pushed through the boisterous throng the same way a great sea creature of old cut through the waves. He didn’t nod to the guards at the back staircase. Those long legs ate up the steps, biting off more than two pieces at a time. He made it to the top before I was halfway up.
His lips flattened as he glared down at me.
I scowled and almost flipped him the bird.
Focus!
And I did. When Connor collected me not forty-five minutes ago, it was with a closed lip plea of desperation. The only details I managed to pluck from the Made Man was that Liam was in trouble.
Connor promised there’d been no bloodshed.
My heart raced, and I was breathing hard when I reached the top step. Following Connor into a short hallway, we stopped before a closed door. The Irishman jerked his chin at the space.
“What is going on?” I hissed.
Connor’s lips thinned. “Liam was acting odd. Kept fidgeting with his bleeding collar. Then one of the tables flipped. He started sweating, came up here, and has been locked away.”
There was a shout out on the gambling floor below.
With a curse, Connor looked between me and the converted warehouse.
“Go,” I urged him. “I’ve got this.”
Connor hesitated a moment but another shout had him sprinting back to the den.
Taking a deep breath, I knocked. “Liam? It’s me. Can I come in?”
There was no answer.
I tried the knob, which was locked. Looking around, I didn’t see anything to help me pry the door open.
Maybe he left.
But there was a subtle energy, a charged current that crackled through the air, that told me the masked devil was inside. I went to the other door, opened it, and gasped.
“They should really keep this locked!” I said under my breath.
A single metal chair sat in the center. There was a work bench, and hanging above it, was a plethora of tools. It stank of bleach, but even the chemicals couldn’t hide the memory of blood, tears, and screams.
Having a torture chamber in a place that could easily be busted by the law was probably not the smartest idea.
Of course, to the average person, this might just be a storage area for construction workers.
Only someone from the underworld would sense the violence that could never be washed from the walls.
But I pushed that observation out of my head as my eyes landed on just the thing I needed.
Taking a crowbar, I hurried back to the locked door. The slim metal tip barely wedged in the crack. I leaned into it.
Nothing.
Clenching my jaw, I forced my strength against the lever. The door whined. Wood cracked, and a few splinters gave me the encouragement to shove harder.
Come on!
Liam was in there. He wasn’t responsive.
I had to get to him.
Breathing hard, I redoubled my efforts. Sweat beaded across my skin. A stupid door wasn’t stopping me from finding my beast. Not if something was wrong.
With a low groan, the door yielded. My feet skidded back, but I scrambled forward. It was almost there. Just a little more!
The wood broke.