Chapter 37 – Gabriella #2
I pitched forward, nearly impaling myself on the crowbar. While the knob and lock remained in place, there was an opening big enough for me to slip through. I did. The darkness swallowed me.
Stepping cautiously through the shadows, I heard the sharp bursts of air that clued me in to where the monster was. I slowed. Crouched. Reached out to feel. The tips of my fingers brushed against his slacks.
“Liam,” I murmured. “Are you ill?”
A short, choked laugh escaped his lips. “I’m fecking weak, cailín.”
As I my eyes adjusted to the thick gloom, I saw his mask was gone. Both hands were bare, one shoved against his scarred flesh. The other was at his throat, fingers clutching the gold necklace he wore.
My necklace.
“Tell me what to do?” I insisted.
Liam took a ragged gulp of air. “It will pass.”
He was…trembling.
Whatever was wrong with him wasn’t physical. It was mental. I wracked my brains, trying to piece together my limited knowledge. I didn’t have a good solution, and I wasn’t even sure what this was. Some form of panic attack?
“Can I touch you?” I asked, pressing my fingers more firmly against his bent knees.
“That’s…nice.”
Encouraged, I rubbed small circles with my thumbs. My presence seemed to comfort him. I debated humming an old lullaby Francesca sang to us when we were little. Our nanny always knew what to do to make things better. But I didn’t know if that would come off as demeaning.
So I started talking. “Storm had an accident in the house today.”
Liam’s breathing didn’t change. It was like he gasped for each breath and couldn’t push out the air once it was trapped in his lungs.
“It was my fault really. He whined, but I was in the middle of a really good scene,” I explained as I moved my hands down his thighs and back up. “The stalker was, um, doing things to her.”
My cheeks flamed at the memory. This probably wasn’t the best story to be telling him.
Liam’s voice was hollow. “What was he doing?”
I wet my lips, wishing I could take the words back. But my beast wanted to know.
“He used a gun to….” I gulped. “He used a gun to pleasure her.”
Finally, Liam took a deep breath. “That’s a good part.”
“Oh!” I squeaked. “You read that?”
“Yeah,” he rasped. “I’ve finished the bleeding story and need part two. I was going to pick it up for us but wanted to ask if you’d like to go back to Target tomorrow.”
There was a self-deprecating note to his words. It was as if he thought he didn’t deserve to spend time with me. If that was really what he was thinking, I needed to change his mind.
I plucked his hand, loving that he didn’t wear the glove, and clasped it in mine. “I would like that.”
Liam tried to pull away, but I held him tightly.
“Zade wouldn’t have PTSD from an explosion,” he muttered ruthlessly. “That man is unstoppable.”
“Real people aren’t invincible,” I countered.
“We should be.”
While his trembling had stopped and he was able to draw a proper breath to speak, this mental spiral wasn’t much better.
“We should be human.”
One by one, Liam stretched out his legs. “How can you accept me if I can’t protect you?”
“Um, when have you ever not protected me?” I asked hotly. “You’ve taken care of me, provided for me, and you guard me like a treasure. That’s not nothing, Liam.”
With a harsh huff of disgust, he tried to stand.
I did the only thing I could. I climbed on his legs, weighing down those tree trunk thighs.
“Listen to me,” I snapped, placing a hand on either side of his face.
“I don’t like you because you’re flawless.
So you have episodes. Big deal! Those are scars you wear on the inside.
You’re not the only one who’s gone through some shit.
There are plenty of treatments for this. We can work on it, okay?”
Through the gloom, I felt his gaze rake down my face. I wet my lips and leaned forward.
“Why would you waste your time on someone as damaged as me?” he whispered. “I’m hideous.”
A crack split through my chest. He needed me. If I ran, if I left him, he would blame it on being broken, which couldn’t be further from the truth.
I’ll think about that later!
Because right now, the thought of abandoning him was too painful. My heart wept tears of blood for this beautiful man.
“You matter.” I pressed my thumbs under his eyes, brushing them over the soft skin, yet feeling the difference between both sides. “Your well-being matters to me.”
My name was a strangled groan on his lips. “Gabriella.”
“Let me help you find someone who can help you through this,” I insisted softly. “Please, Liam.”
There were doctors. There were treatments. He didn’t have to suffer like this.
He shouldn’t be suffering alone.
As much as it broke me to admit it, I needed to make sure he was fine before I left. That he was in a good treatment program with someone to listen to him when we eventually did part ways.
Leaving before that would be downright cruel.
“Okay,” Liam breathed.
And then, because I didn’t have any other idea how to make this better, I leaned down and kissed him. It was a gentle kiss. My lips brushed over his in a soft caress. But just because it lacked the passion of our other encounters, didn’t mean it was any less powerful.
I liked this man. I probably could love him someday if I didn’t already. I was in danger of falling harder every second we were together.
There was no way to make a clean break.
If only things were different….
Pulling back, I pressed my forehead against his and smiled. His eyes were closed, but his breathing had returned to normal.
“Thank you—” He cleared his throat. “Thank you for coming.”
“Of course! That’s what we do,” I said simply. Because it was. For as long as we were together, this was how things worked. “Now, how about you show me around your casino?”
Liam hesitated. “Actually, can we just stay here?”
Smiling to myself, I leaned down. My cheek rested against his shoulder, and my body draped over his. “An even better idea.”
He began to stroke his fingers up and down my spine. I let his touch lull me as I protected him with my body. It was nice, and for a moment, I let myself pretend it would never end.