Chapter 48
“Commander Ingrid Voss died protecting the soldiers under her command on Island Seven. The island’s air is contaminated, and our men witnessed people dying.
We will be maintaining a safe zone perimeter around it.
” – excerpt from an electronic message from acting Island Three Commander Chad Portnoy to New America President Soren Whitman
Marcus
It’s bittersweet seeing Nova and Ellison with Sam, the little boy who’s theirs now.
The council voted that the Rising Tide kids would each go to a home, as long as enough people volunteered to take them in. There were more than enough volunteers.
Sam is three, with dark curls and bright-blue eyes. Nova’s been teaching him how to braid cordage. They made a jump rope and Ellison taught him to use it. The other kids line up for turns with it.
They’ve started to intermingle now—the kids who’ve always been in the Dust Walkers camp and the Rising Tide ones. Olin is leaving with us, so new teachers have been joining him for the learning and activities he does with them every day.
Sam is a lucky little boy. Nova and Ellison have more love and wisdom to shower on a kid than anyone I’ve ever known.
Ellison and I have known each other for almost seven years.
My mom would smile knowing that at age thirty, my closest friend is a forty-seven-year-old woman I don’t have a romantic relationship with.
And Nova. She’s been steadily, constantly beside me for so long that I can’t imagine not getting her thoughts on things. Nova is a woman of few words, but when she does say something, it’s always worth listening to.
Sam looks up at Nova, a smile quirking on his lips. Nova would already take a bullet for the kid. If I have to leave the two people who mean as much to me as Briar does, at least I know they have a loving family.
“Are you ready?” Briar asks me.
I take a deep breath and nod. “Almost. How about you?”
She puts her arms around my waist and presses her cheek to my chest. “I think so. The packing is done and the plans are made. It’s just a matter of making ourselves go now.”
“Are the others ready?”
“Olin’s already on the sub. He said goodbye to the kids and it was hard for him.”
“He knows he can stay if he wants to, right?”
“Yeah. He wants to get back to the ILF. It’s just harder than he thought it would be.”
Ellison and Nova are laughing about something, Ellison smoothing a hand over Sam’s hair.
“I get it,” I say.
“Go talk to Niran. You’ve put it off as long as you can.”
“I don’t know if I can.”
She takes a step back, looking up at me. “Of course you can. That’s all we’re waiting for, and then we can leave.”
“Don’t we still need to change Pax’s mind? I don’t think the two of us in a confined space for that long is going to work out.”
She pinches her brows together, her smile wry. “You can practice diplomacy. Lord knows you need it.”
“Hey, I’m a master diplomat. The d in my name stands for diplomacy.”
She rolls her eyes. “That’s the joke? Because there’s no d?”
“Sounds like I got here just in time.” Pax gives Marcus a serious look. “Does someone need a man-to-man talk about not having any d?”
I scowl at him. “You’d be the expert on that, wouldn’t you?”
He grins. “Lots of people here can vouch for my abilities. But you’ve just got the one person.”
“I guess if you’re gonna be a whore, at least be a proud one.”
Briar puts a palm on my chest. “Go do your thing. We’ll go get Amira and Evander. I’ll put you two in separate corners of the boat if I have to.”
I don’t feel mature at all when I give Pax the finger and walk away, but I do enjoy it. That fucker tests my patience at every turn.
I might also be a little cranky. I’ve been putting off this conversation with Niran because I’m not looking forward to it. Stalking toward the farm, I just nod at everyone who waves and smiles at me.
Briar’s right. We do need to leave. It’s never going to be easy.
Evander says he’s okay to travel, but he’s still healing from Island Three.
It’s only been ten days since he arrived here.
He’s about my size and build, and people see strength when they look at him.
But there’s something dark and sad in his eyes.
I don’t know if he’s always been like that but had to hide it while working undercover, or if it’s a result of whatever Ingrid’s men did to him.
She said they were bringing him to the edge of death. Evander’s body will heal, but his mind may never be the same.
I pass the garden, which is already filled with plants as tall as my knees. Today, I notice the scents of herbs I usually take for granted. This island has been anything but easy, but I’m going to miss some things.
Plunging waterfalls, spectacular sunsets, and perfectly clear night skies are just everyday things here. I won’t miss the nonstop sweating and bug bites, but I’ll miss this place and its people.
I can’t communicate to Flavius that I’m leaving. I tried, but he just came to the edge of camp and checked on me, then left. He doesn’t like to be around many people. If there were a way to tell him how much he means to me, I would.
When I reach the farm, there are former Tiders and Dust Walkers working together on a fence repair. I wave at them on my way into the stalls, where the stench of manure is strong.
Niran’s mucking stalls, the bottom of his boots covered in shit. When he pulls off his baseball hat to wipe sweat from his forehead, he sees me.
“Hey.” He wraps both hands around the handle of the pitchfork.
“Hey.”
We just look at each other for a few seconds.
“We’re heading out soon,” I say.
He nods, looking like he’s about to say something but then changing his mind.
“I’m not angry. I wasn’t always fair to you, and this place is a mindfuck under the best of conditions. I hope you’ll be able to move on. Make a real life for yourself.”
He looks away. “I don’t know when I turned into this ... anyway, I don’t expect you to forgive me.”
“I still love you, Niran.”
Hanging his head, he says, “Don’t. I don’t deserve that. I’m glad you’re getting out of here and away from me.”
His voice is choked with tears. My throat unexpectedly tightens.
“Hey,” I say.
He looks up, wiping his cheeks with his fingers.
“If you ever take even one piece of advice from me, make it this. Life is too short to spend any of it hating yourself. I’ve been down that road, and it kept me from letting myself live. Everyone makes mistakes. I don’t hate you at all. So don’t hate yourself.”
Nodding, he looks away again.
“I hope we see each other again,” I say. “And when we do, I hope you’re so goddamn happy, man. I truly do.”
He meets my gaze, his voice breaking as he says, “Thank you. I ...” He clears his throat, “I’ll try.”
I turn and leave, feeling a fraction lighter. Briar was right. I wanted to leave him a letter, but she insisted I talk to him face to face.
Now I’m ready to go. I shake hands with the farm workers, and I do the same in the garden, Felix drenched with sweat when he hugs me.
I find everyone who’s leaving with me but Olin waiting in the center of camp, people hugging and crying as they say their goodbyes.
Ellison approaches me and takes my hands. “This isn’t goodbye,” she says, tears shining in her eyes. “Be safe and be happy, okay? I love you.”
I swallow past the lump in my throat as I hug her. “I love you, too. You know how to reach me if you need me.”
We worked out a system for the people on the island to light three side-by-side fires on the beach if they need help from us or the ILF. It’ll be picked up by Island Four surveillance, who can send help faster than I’ll be able to get here.
It’s going to be life changing, being able to communicate with people outside the island. We don’t know what we’ll be walking into back on the mainland, but we know it won’t be good. Whitman keeps expanding the boundaries of New America.
It might take a long time to topple his regime, but I believe we can do it. People who are fighting to maintain control will always lose to people who are fighting for each other.
Nova wraps her rock-solid arms around me in a fierce hug. “Make us proud, kid.”
That’s all I get before she turns and leaves.
“She doesn’t like crying,” Ellison explains.
“I get it. Tell her I love her.”
“I will.”
Sam approaches me, shyly offering me a long piece of cordage. I crouch down to his level and take it.
“Are you showing me what you did? This is great work.”
“It’s for you,” Ellison says.
“No way.” I smile at Sam. “Thank you. I’ll think of you guys every time I use it.”
He retreats to Ellison. I tuck the cordage into my pocket, giving Ellison one last nod before I go look for Briar.
She’s wiping tears away when I reach her.
“Let’s go before I change my mind,” she jokes. “This is harder than I thought it would be.”
We decided to say goodbye to everyone in camp, so the five of us—me, Briar, Amira, Pax and Evander—leave through the front entrance. Once the gate is closed, Briar takes a deep breath and looks up at me.
“The hard part’s over,” she says.
We’ve already packed our few supplies into the sub. We have drinking water, food, knives, and a few guns with ammo. All of us brought a change of clothes, too, but we know we’ll be traveling light once we get there. The photo I have of my mom is wrapped up securely in a T-shirt inside my pack.
When we reach the grotto, Gussie’s door is open, Olin waiting inside.
“Wow, this is some high-tech shit,” Pax says, admiring the sub’s sleek design.
“Uh ... what’s the bathroom sitch?” Amira asks.
I arch a brow, amused. “There’s a stool with a privacy curtain you can pull.”
We all get inside. Evander silently goes to his seat and buckles his safety belt.
“I’ll be holding it,” Amira pronounces when she sees the toilet.
It’s a very small vessel. We’ll be in tight quarters for the trip from our Caribbean island to Corpus Christi.
I take the captain’s chair, Briar sitting in the one beside me.
“Gussie, close,” I say, and the door hisses lightly as it closes and seals.
Briar and I exchange a look. She’s nervous. I think we all are.
“Anyone change their mind about going?” I ask turning around to look at the crew. “Pax?”
“Nope. I’m good.”
I turn back and fasten my safety belt, Briar threading her fingers through mine. “Okay, let’s do it. Gussie, take us to Corpus Christi.”