Chapter Four
Luca
I don’t know how to begin. The look on Victor and Ana’s faces makes me wonder if this plan is the best idea. Victor is a cop, a good one at that. Would he even let his daughter marry into a family like the Ballera’s? Even if he did, just to keep his daughter and family safe, would Ana? Would she let her daughter live with sinners like them? Ana is a Christian, a strict catholic too. Regardless of how sweet she is, I don’t think her conscience will let her agree to this. But if she reminded me of Rosa, maybe she won’t hate them as much as I think she will.
“Luca, you’ve been silent since you got here, what is it?” Ana asks, concern written all over her face.
“Did you find a way to keep Vida safe?” Victor’s question follows, his hand on her back giving her comfort.
I raise his head, eyes darting from Victor to Ana. “I did, but . . .”
“Luca, please, we might be running out of time,” Ana says, turning to Victor. The look she gives him makes me think that something happened while I was away, and my body stiffens.
“What does that mean?” I ask, my eyes fixed on her.
“Vida went home to grab some of her things, her room was a wreck. Someone broke in, left everything else and only destroyed Vida’s room,” Ana says, covering her mouth like she’s trying to stop herself from crying.
“They wrote something on her mirror; Tick tock, tick tock . I couldn’t file it or report it, I know it’s bigger than this. Plus, you know what it’d be ruled as,” Victor adds.
I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose. I have loved being a cop, it was a dream I’d had for as long as I can remember, but I knew that the law wasn’t always in favor of everyone. They would say it was a silly prank or a mere break in, and that was all that would be done.
“Vida will have to get married,” I tell them, the words coming out blunt and direct. There is no point sugar coating it if things were already happening this fast.
“What?” Ana exclaims in disbelief.
“Luca . . .”
“It’s the only way. She will be protected forever, no one will dare mess with her or anything she holds dear,” I explain.
“She’d have to marry into a powerful family? One more powerful than Raphael and Donato?” Victor asks, the look in his eyes telling me the wheels are turning and he already knows where this is heading.
“Yes.”
I watch Ana closely, waiting to see how she’ll take this. I know she’s never been one to like politics or crime. She’s stayed out of those conversations with Victor and I over the years, and it wasn’t until after Vida had called her, crying on the phone and saying Adam had been shot, that she started paying attention when we’d talk. Her baby girl had been dragged into this world in a matter of minutes and she wanted to try to make sure she knew everything there was to know in order to help her daughter.
“What family would that be, Luca?” she asks, her voice shaky, almost like she already knows the answer to that.
“Mine,” I tell them, watching the fear fill her eyes.
“Fuck,” Victor mutters, standing and raking his fingers through his hair. “This cannot be happening.”
“Victor, it’s the only way,” I start, not taking my eyes off of him as his anger and fear begin to bubble up inside of him.
“NO! No offense, Luca, but my daughter will never be getting married to anyone in your family,” he yells.
“God,” Ana groans, covering her face with her palms.
I’ve gone to church enough with them over the years, but I don’t know how any of this is supposed to be part of God’s will. Was this why he took Adam from them? To throw Vida into the lion’s den? This didn’t feel like the will of God, it felt like a scheme the devil had neatly woven to look like something sent from heaven.
“Do you want to keep Vida safe?” I ask them, hoping I can get them to see that this is our only option. “Do you want to keep your whole family safe? And if you assume you can keep your family safe, what about Adam’s family? Don’t they deserve protection, too? Haven’t they lost enough already?”
“Vida is like my daughter, too, and I want her to be safe. I know the option we have isn’t looking great, but I promise you, she’ll be taken care of,” I assure them.
“Who is she going to marry? Does he even want this marriage?” Victor asks as he turns to look at me.
“My nephew, Ciro Ballera, and no, he doesn’t.”
“That makes it worse, Luca! Entering a marriage like that, with those people. Her own husband won’t even want her.”
I get that he’s upset about this, but I hate that he views the Ballera’s like this. The only man that deserved to be hated was my father. After Matteo became Don, the Ballera weren’t as bad as Victor made us sound. Sure, we weren’t the greatest of people and had to do things most wouldn’t, but we were people with hearts, big hearts, and we loved until the end.
“I understand that I lied about who I am, but I know the Ballera. My family might not seem great and I know as a cop it’s our duty to dislike the bad guys, but no matter how you want to see it, I am a Ballera. If I say Vida will be safe and taken care of, I mean it. They might look and sound like monsters, but we take care of our own, no matter what,” I state, my voice stern and firm. My words seem to visibly calm Victor some, but Ana stays frozen in place.
“I trust you,” Victor says, running a hand through his hair.
“And I trust my brother. His son will be good to Vida. I cannot guarantee love, but he will be loyal, and he will protect her with his life. I can promise you that.”
I have no doubt that Ciro will take care of her. I know my family, loyalty comes before anything else no matter how stubborn the man is. It’s better to have loyalty without love than love without loyalty. It’s one of the few things my father was ever right about.
Turning my attention to Ana as she takes a seat on the couch, I can see just how confused and lost she looks. This is way out of her wheelhouse, and she’s clearly confused about what to do. When she looks up at Victor, I know that whatever he chooses to do, she’ll trust and go with. This is his call as Vida’s father and head of the house.
“Vida will marry him,” Victor says, and we watch as Ana’s shoulders drop. Whether it’s out of relief or disappointment, I don’t know, but I can live with this being her reaction.
“We can have dinner to meet them,” Ana says quietly, showing just how much like Rosa she is.
“I won’t do it!” Vida’s voice echoes through the room.
“ Mija ,” Victor calls as he turns to look at her.
“How could you? You didn’t even ask! How could you say yes?” she cries as she looks at him.
“It’s for the best,” I assure her, bringing her hurt eyes off of her father and onto me. She’s never looked at me like this before, and while I hate it, I stand firm on my statement.
“No, it’s not! You want to use me as an excuse to get back into your horrible family. I won’t accept it!” Her words are harsh and sting a little, but I had prepared myself for her reaction. She has every right to be upset.
“Vida, stop it,” her mother scolds, standing up and stepping between the two of us.
“Mom,” she says in disbelief, clearly shocked that her mother of all people would agree to go through with this without consulting her, especially after she just lost Adam.
“Luca is right and I won’t allow you to stand there and disrespect his efforts. He went back to a life he had kept from us for years, just to make sure you’re safe and this is the ‘thank you’ he gets?” Ana says, her voice firm.
“But Mom, I can’t,” Vida cries even harder, her eyes pleading with us not to make her do this. “I can’t do it. I can’t do it to Adam, to Lisa, or their parents. Mom, please!”
“You are doing this for them,” Ana says, placing her hand on her daughter’s shoulder.
“I do not regret letting you take the stand in court, Mija , but actions have consequences, some heavier than others,” Victor says, stepping beside Ana and placing a hand on her shoulder to show his support.
“I can’t do it, Dad, please don’t make me,” she begs him, her eyes turning red already as she holds back her tears.
“It’s done,” he says, his tone leaving no room for argument.
“No! I am not getting married to him, I don’t care! It’s my life and I’m old enough to decide!” she yells, her shock that they’re serious and that they’d make her do this, clear on her face.
“You are my child, you will do as I say. You wouldn’t be in this mess if you had just stayed in the fucking car!” Victor yells, his expression morphing with regret the second the words leave his mouth.
Victor
“Victor,” Ana calls, placing a hand on my arm. She has to know I didn’t mean it, but by the look on our daughter’s face I know the damage is already done.
“ Mija , I’m sorry.”
The guilt on her face kills me. I know she’s struggled with blaming herself about what happened. The nightmares she’s had, and the way she cries out in her sleep, are proof of just how hard she’s taken his death.
“I will marry him,” she says, her voice void of emotion. I try to reach for her hand but she steps away from me, not even looking at me.
“ Mija ,” I say softly, hating that she won’t let me comfort her.
“I will marry Luca’s nephew,” she repeats before wiping the tears from her wet cheeks.
“It’s for the best,” Luca assures her, his voice stern yet soft.
“I know, I trust you and I’m sorry about what I said. Thank you,” she adds before turning and heading back down the hall.
“She will be okay,” Ana sighs, her hand rubbing up and down my arm.
I wish I could take my words back, tell her I didn’t mean them, but how can I? They are out there and she won’t even look at me or let me hold her. I doubt she will let me anytime soon either. I’m not just forcing her to marry someone, I also outright blamed her for Adam’s death.
“Victor, she knows you mean well,” Luca adds, placing a hand on my shoulder.
“I know. I just wished I worded it differently, that’s all.”
“You have time to fix it,” he assures me.
“When shall we arrange for the dinner?” I ask, hoping to take my mind off of the way Vida looked at me before walking away.
“This weekend. The wedding will be soon. I don’t know if waiting . . .”
“I understand. Let’s do what needs to be done. For Vida.”
“I’ll let my brother know,” Luca nods, tapping me on the back before leaving Ana and I in the sitting room.
Vida
The walk to the room feels unending. I don’t know if I’m breathing fine or if my eye s can even see the way. I just want to leave this house, go back home, and have everything be a dream. Just a horrible nightmare that is lasting longer than usual.
My chest tightens as I replay the conversation from the living room. I can’t believe this is my life. How can a life that’s taken years to plan out change in a matter of minutes? Is this how God works? The same God that Mom has preached about my whole life. How can that God be watching all of these things happening and not stop it?
My mother has always said ‘when there is no one to run to, run to God,’ but how can I? How can I run to the same God that lets these things happen? I can’t, not ever!
“Vida,” Isabella calls, running to me when she notices me staggering into the room. “What happened?”
“Vida, what is it? Please say something,” she pleads, holding me tightly as I hold onto her as if my life depends on it.
“Izzy,” I cry, not sure where to start. How am I supposed to tell her? What am I even going to say? The thought of marrying Luca’s nephew almost kills me.
“Oh God. It’s okay, don’t say a word. I’m here, I’ve got you. Let it all out,” Isabella says, her hand rubbing up and down my back soothingly.
Isabella might be the rebel of the house, but she is the best friend anyone could ever need and I count myself lucky every day to have her as a big sister. I can’t imagine my life without her.
Isabella continues to hold me while I cry, and though I’m sure she wants to ask about what happened, she knows I’ll tell her when I’m ready and that being here is all I need right now.
“Talk to me Vee, what happened?” Isabella asks after my crying finally stops and I catch my breath.
“I . . . I’m . . .” I stutter, hoping that before the words leave my mouth that I’ll wake up from this horrible nightmare.
“You’re scaring me.”
“I’m getting married,” I blurt out, the words feeling like acid on my tongue.
“What!” Isabella exclaims, her mouth hanging open and her eyes wide in shock.
“Why? How? When? To who?” she asks, her questions pouring out of her in a rush.
“I don’t know. All I know is that it’s Luca’s nephew. It’s the only way to keep Donato away from us.”
“I see,” Isabella says, adjusting how she’s sitting on the bed.
“You see? Why aren’t you against this?” I ask, looking at her. I’m not sure if I should be hurt or surprised by her reaction.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I am, I am against this,” she starts.
“But?” I ask, sensing that I may not like where this is going.
“Think about it, the Ballera are one of the most powerful families ever. Donato doesn’t even come close, and he’ll be asking for death if he dares mess with you when you’re married to a Ballera. And that protection extends to us and Adam’s family,” she explains, showing me again just how smart she always is.
“But . . . I know you’re thinking of Adam,” she smiles sadly at me. “But think of Lisa, too.”
I hate that she’s right. There is no escaping this. I never want to disrespect Adam’s memory though, and with his promise ring on my finger, how can I marry another man? I know it’s my fault Adam is gone in the first place, and me taking the stand put everyone in danger too. This mess is all because of me, and now I have to go against everything in me and marry this powerful stranger to keep everyone safe. This will be my punishment, and it is just something I’ll have to take.
“I hate it when you’re right,” I say, forcing a smile that I know doesn’t reach my eyes.
“I do too. It makes me sound like Mom,” Isabella giggles. “What is his name? Luca’s nephew.”
“I don’t know Izzy, and I don’t think I want to know.”
“Know what?” Lisa interrupts, making me jump in surprise.
Seeing her after finding out everything I just did has me feeling guilty, like I’m betraying not just Adam, but his whole family too.
“Lisa,” Isabella calls, gesturing for her to come and sit with us.
“Is everything okay? Has she been crying?” Lisa asks when she spots my red, puffy eyes.
“We need to talk, Lisa. A lot is going on,” Isabella says, making room for Lisa to sit next to us.
“Izzy,” I tug at her, not wanting to open this can of worms yet.
“She has to know.”
“What’s going on?” Lisa asks, her worry clear in her voice.
“She’s getting married.”
“You have to stop apologizing now, Vida,” Lisa says, smiling at me.
“I feel like a horrible person, Lisa. I don’t know how else to keep us safe,” I say, pouring my heart out.
“Vida, look at me, please.” Lisa’s eyes are red like mine. She cried a little when I started telling her about the wedding, but somewhere along the line she told me she understood. This is bigger than just me. It is for all of our families. She told me she knew how much I loved Adam and how much I still do, and that if I had any other options, she was sure I would take them.
“I don’t hate you, and Mom and Dad won’t either,” Lisa tries to assure me, but I don’t know if I can believe her.
“What would Adam think, Lisa?” I ask, tears wanting to spill free again just thinking about what he would have to say about me marrying anyone else.
“That you’re doing the bravest act of all. He would be grateful knowing you’re doing this to protect all of us. I’m so sorry this is happening to you, and I’m sorry you’re sacrificing yourself to keep us safe.”
“I don’t deserve an apology, Lisa. Honestly, I deserve this. I think this is my punishment from God.”
Lisa sighs, shaking her head and taking my hands in hers. “If you don’t deserve an apology, how about a ‘thank you’ for taking the stand and for doing this. You’ll always be my sister, Vida, you didn’t have to marry my brother to be one and this won’t change that.”
Gosh, the people in my life are too good for me. I don’t know what I did to deserve them. Would God have let this happen so I’d appreciate the people around me? Even if he did, I can never forgive him for taking Adam from us. I just can’t do it.
“I love you, Lisa.”
“I know you do. Who wouldn’t?” she shrugs, making us laugh.