Chapter 9
Nine
Andie
“Come on, Kiddo, I’ll drop you off,” Ezra offers as the four of us enter back into the house, the sun now positively settled beneath the evening clouds.
I know I have lots to do, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave early. It’s been more than a month since we spent some time together. It was, in fact, the first time after Kaeli came back from the hospital that we had the chance.
Though what I didn’t suspect was that Noah would stay for so long. He’s usually the type to stay alone and brood in all his loneliness.
“See you soon, Andie,” Kaeli hugs me after I’m in my sandals, and Ezra grabs his car keys from the bowl on the entrance table.
“Bye, love. Thank you so much for having me,” I say with a genuine smile.
“You’re always welcome here,” she replies, pulling back and reflecting the same grin.
“I’m ready,” Ezra says, zipping up his hoodie.
To my utter surprise, Noah chirps from the entrance, “I can drop her.” He shrugs his shoulder as if he didn’t just offer to confine me in the same space as him.
My head swivels to him, and my eyes narrow. What on God’s green earth is he thinking?
“You don’t mind?” Ezra confirms, pretty eager to hand me off, while I mouth at Noah to say no.
“I can go myse—”
Noah interrupts me as if I didn’t just warn him with my eyes, “Of course, not.”
Ezra grins at him, clapping his shoulder. “Thanks, man.”
“But—”
“You’ll go with him, Andie?” Ezra’s gaze turns to me, awaiting my response.
My gaze ping pongs among every person in the room, Noah daring me to deny as a smirk sneaks up his lips, Ezra patiently waiting, and Kaeli studying me. She’s too perceptive.
If I deny, it would seem suspicious. So, I plaster a fake smile and agree. “For sure. Let’s go, Noah,” I say, curtly, stomping out of the house and toward his vehicle, not giving a second glance.
While he strolls down the steps like he has all the time in the world, chatting up with Ezra and Kaeli. I fold my arms across my chest, my skirt flaring with the light wind as I tap a foot impatiently on the concrete.
When he’s finally done, he swaggers to the car and opens the door for me, and since Ezra and Kaeli are still at the door to see us off, I wave at them and slide into the passenger seat.
Crossing to his side, Noah climbs in too, and soon we’re on the road.
“Look at me,” he whispers, as I keep my gaze fixed on the blurring city.
When I don’t comply and huff instead, he pleads, “Please, look at me, Andie.”
The stuttering of his breath and his pained voice have me turning my head to him to find him already looking at me at the red light, his grip on the steering wheel tightening.
“I am sorry,” he begins. “I-I didn’t want to—” he shuts his eyes and looks ahead, his head leaning against the headrest.
I patiently wait for him to continue, giving him time to formulate what he intends to say. Regardless of my anger at him, I drink him in. I study his unruly, wavy blond hair falling over his forehead.
My gaze slides from his eyes to the bridge of his slightly crooked nose. Did it hurt, I wonder? Has he been hurt before? I hope not.
Just as I reach his lips, they part, and he speaks, “I didn’t want to leave you hanging, Andie.”
All the hurt comes rushing back in at his words. “But you did,” I say, my tone clipped.
“I know.” Noah’s eyes flutter open, and he turns to look at me, his head still against the headrest.
His throat bobs, and the position makes it even more prominent. My eyes latch onto it. I wonder what it would feel like to lick it, bite it.
I mentally rebuke myself for having such thoughts even when angry.
“Why?” I let the words slip past my mouth. Because no matter how much I pretend otherwise, I wish to know the reason why he would go back on his word.
“Your brother, Andie. Ezra is the reason,” he relays. I open my mouth to speak, but he cuts me off. “I know. I know I agreed earlier. But whenever I picked up the phone, Ezra’s face would flash in front of my eyes.”
The light turns green, Noah shifts the gears, and the car is moving as he straightens in his seat.
“The thought of hurting him, betraying his trust, going behind his back, clawed at my insides, Andie,” he continues, keeping his eyes on the road.
At the mention of my brother, my head falls forward as I stare into my lap, my hands fidgeting. I understand what he means. I understand not wanting to hurt him and betray his trust.
I can’t argue with Noah there, even if it hurts me too.
Ezra would never have to know. But I’ll never ask him to betray his principles or the people in his life he cherishes the most.
“But,” he swallows, “I hate the thought of you with someone who’s not me. I can’t fucking bear it!”
I suck in a sharp breath at his claim, my heart thumping at what this might mean. My head swivels to him, apprehensive of what I might find.
Noah gives me just a glance before he turns his face back to the road. But in that one look, I clock the desperate hunger in his eyes, the tension in his jaw, his own pulse jumping in his neck.
“You can’t?” I breathe out, my finger twirling a strand of my hair, my heart hoping against all odds.
“Fuck, no, I can’t, Andie!” He chuckles, but it’s hollow.
I don’t even realize when we’re at my apartment, but soon he pulls up to the curb and stops right in front.
His head drops on the steering wheel, the muscles of his back flexing under his shirt. “What do I do, Andie?” He bares his struggle in his gruff voice.
“I can’t tell you what to do, Noah,” I whisper, my shoulders dropping. It’s true, though, I can’t decide anything for him. It has to be his choice.
He sighs at my answer, and when he doesn’t speak for a minute, I nod to myself and open the door of the car.
The second I turn to get off, his hand shoots out to grab my arm. “Wait,” he almost yells.
“Yeah?” Fire of hope flares in my chest as I glance between his eyes and catch him doing the same.
His jaw grinds and shoulders tighten. “I did promise you that I’ll help you explore sex,” he muses.
“You did,” I agree, anticipation curling around my stomach.
“And I’m a man of my word, no matter what.” His hold on my arms tightens, not enough to hurt me but enough to seem like he’s looking for strength.
“You are,” I nod.
He pulls me inside, the door of the car shutting behind me as my breath hitches at his sudden movement.
Our noses are just a hair’s breadth away, my mouth opening on a gasp, as my eyes fall on his lips. I could so easily touch them with mine. But his ‘no-kissing’ rule rings loud and clear in my head.
Noah leans forward and whispers, “I’ll do it. I’ll have sex with you.”
His words cause my stomach to hollow out with excitement. “You will?” I confirm. “You sure?”
“I am. I’m sure Ezra wouldn’t want you going around strange men either. Who knows what kind of guys are out there, preying on women,” he reasons, his pupil dilating.
I arch an eyebrow at him. “I’m not a damsel in distress.”
His lips twitch at the attitude I give him, his rough palm still burning my arm, heat spreading to the parts of my body that it has no business spreading.
“No, but you are a stunning damsel,” Noah says it so casually in that husky voice of his, as if he didn’t just give me a compliment I rarely receive.
Surprised, I breathe out, “Thank you.” When I take a breath in, this time my nostrils fill with his scent. Discreetly, I take another sniff of his smoked vanilla, leather, and amber smell.
Nuts on a cracker, he smells so manly and mysterious.
Just like the way he is. Hiding so much from the world under his caring and kind persona, which he doesn’t even realize he’s donning.
Noah removes his hand from mine and pulls back, staring right ahead through the windshield and into the evening sky, and even though I miss his touch, I pull back too.
I clear my throat and ask, “Would you like to come in?”
His head swivels to me, his eyes roaming my face as the street light flickers on and illuminates the side of his face. God! This man is so beautiful. It’s truly unreal.
He seems to search for something, and whatever he finds in my expressions satisfies him enough to agree. “Sure. Only to set a time to meet next, of course.”
“Of course,” I repeat, both of us convincing ourselves.
We both climb out of the car, and I realize he’s going to enter my home. Suddenly, the idea of being alone with Noah in the walls of my house seems exciting and overwhelming all at once.
I don’t know if inviting him to my place was a good idea after all.