Chapter 10
Ten
Noah
What the fuck was I thinking?
I think that for the umpteenth time, as I take in Andie’s apartment while she brings me a glass of water.
It’s so her, with the walls painted in bright colors ranging from yellow to blue to pink. There’s a warmth that’s lacking in any place I’ve ever called home. And that both soothes my soul and causes aches in wounds I’ve long tried to hide.
As I sit on the couch in her living room, I wonder if a man like me is what she needs in her life. But I shove that thought away when she saunters in, draped in her yellow sundress, which she has been torturing me in all day.
From the moment she walked in and shoved the giant bouquet into my chest, and proceeded to tell me my arms are hairy at Kaeli and Ezra’s place, till now. The way that the dress falls over her curvy frame, highlighting her waist and her hips, has me biting into my fist.
“Are you alright?” she asks with a frown, extending the glass of clear water in her hand.
For a second, I forgot that she’s real and not just a figment of my imagination that ran wild and conjured her.
I straighten and crack the muscles of my neck. “I’m good,” I say, clearing my throat. I raise my hand to grab the glass from her when our fingers touch, and a shiver rolls down the length of my spine. It’s honestly thanks to the years of discipline that I hide it from her.
Though I don’t think I imagine the hitch in her breath and the minuscule widening of her eyes either. But I don’t want to be proven wrong, so I ignore it.
“Thank you.” Even I can hear the gruffness in my voice. Drowning the water down in one gulp, I place the glass on the living room table littered with notebooks and all the imaginable stationery.
When I try to discern what those notebooks are for, Andie mumbles, and I turn my head to her to find her seated on the couch diagonal to me, “I’m sorry, I couldn’t clean up before I left this morning.”
She winces and gets up to gather her things. I raise a hand in the air, “It’s quite all right. You don’t have to do that on my account. And these are your students’ notebooks, I presume?” I look down at the table.
She nods, sitting back down on my insistence. “Then it’s not trash that has to be cleaned, Andie,” I assure her with what I hope is a smile, but I’m sure it isn’t with the way her eyes rake all over my face.
I haven’t smiled in years. Not a real one at least. Didn’t have any reason to. I’m sure she sees a monster when she looks at me. And it’s just the familiarity she has with me because of my relationship with Ezra that has made her ask me to have sex with her.
Fuck, even the thought sends a wave of heat through my entire body. I pull at the collar of my shirt.
“Oh, are you hot?” Her face flushes red when she realizes what she said. “I mean, you are hot. Not that—I mean…” She drawls and curses under her breath in her own unique way as she gets up to adjust the room temperature.
When she sits back, she apologizes, “I’m sorry. I misspoke.”
My lips twitch seeing her squirming for no reason as she plays with her hair, nervous. “So, are you saying I’m not hot?” I tease her, my lips set in a straight line to not reveal that.
Her blue eyes—the bluest I’ve ever seen—flare, “No, you are hot. That’s not what I meant!” She rushes to explain.
“So, you do think I’m hot then?” I ask, leaning forward, bracing my elbows on my knees.
“I—I…,” she stutters, looking wildly at me until I finally let my lips lift in a smirk.
Narrowing her eyes at me as her lips set in a pout, she mutters, “Don’t you dare tease me, Noah ‘whatever-your-middle-name-is’ Miller.”
A surprised laugh spills free, which I quickly hide in a cough. Because what the fuck was that? I don’t smile, let alone laugh.
Before I can ruminate on that thought, Andie says, “What is your middle name?” Her head tilted to the side.
“Take me out on a date first, woman,” I jest, rolling my eyes.
This time, it’s her laughter that fills the room, her head falling back as she laughs with her whole heart. I have traveled all over the country, and yet, this—she— is the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.
Her eyes light up, scrunching at the corners.
God, she’s so radiant.
The moment is broken when she asks me, “So, how do we do this?” She signals between the two of us, leaning back in her seat.
“You need to be sure that you want to do this with me, Andie.” Even though I despise it, I give her an escape.
“I’m sure,” she nods, her expression one of determination.
I release the breath I didn’t realize I was holding at her assurance and instantly feel guilty for it when Ezra’s face flashes in front of my eyes.
I internally shake my head. Now’s not the time to be thinking about him. It’s his sister I need to focus on.
“Good girl,” I nod, pondering on where to start first. “Is there something you want to try? Something that’s a hard limit?”
She nibbles on her bottom lip, lined with her cherry chapstick—lip I want to sink my teeth into—and stares off in space as she mulls over my question.
I patiently wait for her. This is not something to be rushed.
“Well, umm, I do have a list of sorts,” she shrugs, glancing at me, unsure of how I’ll take it.
A rough chuckle escapes past my lips as I mutter, shaking my head, “Of course, you do.” This woman is killing me, and we haven’t even begun yet.
I’m sure I’ll be a dead man once this all ends, one way or the other.
“What’s on that list?” I ask, my voice husky as I glance at her.
Andie tucks a strand of her unruly brunette hair behind her ear. “A lot of things,” she whispers, demurely.
I love how she switches from a sassy queen to a shy woman in an instant. Both of those versions of her make my heart race.
“Like what?” I grit, hardly being able to speak with how heavy my throat feels at the idea of her having a sex list.
“Umm, like having someone eat me out, going down on a guy, doing it on a call, also in a semi-public area,” she taps her chin with her index finger, thinking of more, while I feel my cock twitch in my pants as those words fall from her lips.
“Also, being cuffed, and I’d like to see if I like it when I’m blindfolded,” she rattles off as if it’s a grocery list she’s reading, while my pants suddenly feel two sizes too small and my skin heats up like I have a fever.
“Stop,” I say, my voice gravelly as I shut my eyes and press my fists into my thighs, trying to calm myself down from the vivid images of getting to do all of this with Andie.
Silence ensues for a minute before she breaks it. “Did I say something wrong?” she asks, hesitancy reflected in her eyes as my eyes flutter open and I look at her.
“Wrong? Jesus fucking Christ, Andie, you’re killing me here.” I shake my head, my voice barely a whisper, my jaw grinding together.
I rake a rough hand through my hair, standing up to and pacing the length of her living room.
“I am?”
“Yes, you are,” I sigh, my back to her, my hands on my waist. I need to take control of this situation. Seeing me react like this might be worrying her, too. And the last thing I want is to make her doubt anything she says in my presence.
Feeling like myself again, I turn to her and find her standing right behind me. I shove my hands in my pockets lest I can’t resist touching her.
Yeah, stuff your hands in your pockets now. Later, they’ll be stuffed in her.
My brain unhelpfully supplies, and I wish I could shut it up and stop it from feeding me such scenarios.
I clear my throat, which I seem to do a lot in her presence, and begin, “Look, we’ll start small. I’ll come pick you up at seven the day after tomorrow.”
Her eyes widen. “Oh, okay.” She nods. “What should I wear?”
“Whatever you want. You’ll look good in anything,” I say absentmindedly.
One thing’s for sure—there’s no going back now.