5. Matty
Chapter five
“ D o we have to stay here?”
Gritting my teeth, I look down at the mother of my child and force a smile onto my face, doing my best to keep my eyes off where Xed stands at a nearby slot machine with Devon practically glued to his back. The sight makes me want to hurl.
Fuck, he looks so…different. No longer the Xed I know, and not just because of the new piercings on his brow and nose. How can thirteen months change someone so much?
“What don’t you like about it?” I ask dryly. “This place checked all your boxes. Spa, pool, private nightclub, shopping. I don’t understand.”
She’s complained about every suggestion I’ve made so far, so I shouldn’t really be surprised. Every plan I’ve had for this sham of a wedding has apparently been “cheap” and “tacky.”
Maybe because I don’t fucking want it.
Valerie crosses her arms, fluttering her fake lashes as her friends exchange looks, clearly enjoying the show. “We’re going to stay at the Wyn. You’ve got shit taste in hotels.”
With a sigh, I pinch the bridge of my nose, cheeks heating in embarrassment. Nothing I do is ever right. “I already paid for these rooms, Valerie. It’s too late to cancel.”
“So share them with your stupid friends,” she huffs, jabbing my chest with an acrylic nail as she raises her voice loud enough to draw attention. “Seriously, Matthew, not everything’s about you! This is my bachelorette party, and it’s really unfair that you’re trying to control it.”
Jesus H. Christ.
People are starting to stare—including the guys—and I bite my tongue as I pull out my wallet. Slapping my credit card into her hand, I suppress the urge to snap back. “Alright, okay. I’ll call you an Uber. Get whatever room you want.”
Her plump, overly-inflated bottom lip—yet another thing I paid for—pushes into a pout. “I can’t take the Benz?”
It takes every ounce of strength to keep my voice even. “No.”
After she wrecked the last one running a red light while trying to do her makeup? Not just no, but hell no.
“Fine.” She rolls her eyes before stepping closer, her fingers wrapping around my arm in a vice-like grip. “If I so much as hear a whisper of anything happening between you and a certain someone …just remember our daughter. I’d hate for her to grow up thinking her daddy abandoned her.”
With that, she storms off, her entourage trailing behind her as I fight the nausea threatening to make me sick at her words.
Salem lingers behind, squinting after Valerie with a scowl, and I tilt my head at her.
“Not going with them?”
“Kinda want to hang with you guys,” she mutters, flicking a glare in Logan’s direction. “But I will not be rooming with him .”
Arya bounces on her feet, tugging at the hem of her mini dress. “If I stay, can I still get a spa treatment? My pores are huge. ”
“You get whatever you want, bonita ,“ Christian says, kissing her neck and making her giggle before pulling me in for a back-slapping hug. “How you holding up, Matty? Everything good?”
One glance sideways at Xed—snickering at something Devon whispers in his ear—and the open lobby suddenly feels too small.
“Yeah,” I lie. “Everything’s good.”
My football career is taking off, I just bought a house in Phoenix, and my daughter is happy and healthy. That’s all any father can ask for, right?
My soon-to-be wife is draining my bank account and my soul, but Hannah’s with me, so none of that matters. My loneliness doesn’t matter.
I don’t matter.
“How’s business going?” I ask Christian, steering the conversation toward the motocross brand he and Taylor launched. Both are pro freestyle riders with a massive social media following.
He grins wide. “Fucking fantastic. We’re taking the stunt bike show on tour next year. Pretty cool shit.”
“If only our marketing manager and business manager would get along,” Taylor calls out from across the room. Salem flips him the bird without hesitation, muttering something under her breath. She handles all their content and social media, managing the brand’s online presence like a pro. Logan, apparently, takes care of the business side of things—whatever that entails.
Tyson appears at my side, startling me a little because I’d forgotten he was here.
“So, we gonna start this party, or just stand in the lobby all day?”
“Right, someone mentioned a strip club?” Devon sidles up with Xed in tow, casually tonguing his lip piercing. My shoulders stiffen instinctively. Never met this guy before today, and I already hate him.
Who the fuck invites themselves to a stranger’s bachelor party?
Huckslee snorts, dark brown eyes rolling as he pulls Taylor into his side. “Very cliché, but I’ll pass. This one wants to bungee jump off the Strat.”
Christian gasps melodramatically. “Without me?!”
“Titties or adrenaline?” Taylor smirks, pointing at his best friend. “Make your choice.”
“That’s cold, carino . How am I supposed to choose between my two favorite things?”
Arya slaps his arm, pouting. “I’m right here.”
“Hey, you like titties too. Don’t lie.”
Their banter draws out a deep ache I’ve been trying to ignore, homesickness yawning wide inside me. I keep a pleasant smile plastered on my face, but I can’t help thinking this used to be me .
Until I had to throw it all away.
My eyes find Xed again, and the ache sharpens. He hasn’t looked at me—not once since he walked into the lobby—and the weight of his absence makes my heart clench even when he’s right there. Those gold-flecked eyes that used to be my comfort are far away, his hands stuffed into his pockets like he’s worried I’ll try to hold them.
And I would. I so would.
He looks so lost, thin enough to float away if Devon wasn’t holding him close, bags under his eyes like hasn’t been eating or sleeping well. I hate this. Wish I could squeeze him so tight that he snaps back to who he was, who we used to be, before the last year tore us apart .
“I’m just gonna stay here and get drunk,” Salem mutters irritably, and Taylor frowns at her in concern. They have a long history—on and off since high school.
Logan’s head pops up like a nervous prairie dog. “M-me, too. I’ll stay, too.”
We all wince as Salem growls, her glare sharp enough to cut steel. Without another word, she stomps away, and Logan stumbles through a quick goodbye before hurrying after her like a kicked puppy.
Xed’s laugh follows them—a raspy, cruel sound I’ve never heard from him before. It grates against me, twisting my stomach as I turn to look at him. My brows knit together, trying to read his expression, trying to catch his attention, begging him to speak to me, save me —
“And you?” I ask, forcing my voice to stay steady. “Staying or going?”
When his eyes finally meet mine, I’m shocked by how empty they look. How… dull. Lifeless. His pupils are blown wide like he’s higher than a kite.
“Sure. Why not? Let’s go celebrate Matty’s big fuckin’ day.”
The words are sharp, dripping with bitterness, and the room falls silent. My face heats as a few nervous glances flick my way.
Taylor is the first to break the tension, his gaze bouncing between us. “What the hell is going on with you two?”
His boyfriend tugs his arm, throwing me a pointed look before murmuring for him to let it go, but Taylor doesn’t listen.
“Don’t be a dick, dude. You’re literally his best man.”
My back stiffens, and my heart kicks into overdrive as Tyson huffs a small laugh.
“I think there’s some mix-up, because—"
“Let’s get going before it gets too late,” I cut in, my voice sharp. The last thing I want is this discussion happening in the middle of a goddamn casino.
“Uh, it’s a strip club, hermano, “ Christian quips, trying to ease the tension. “Pretty sure you’re not supposed to see it in the light of day.”
Xed scoffs, his movements slow and deliberate as he pats his pockets.
“Come on, Dev,” he mumbles, lighting a cigarette. “I’ll ride with you on your bike. Text us the address.”
And with that, they’re gone.
I stand there, gazing after them, feeling a mix of aggravation and confusion churn in my gut. I don’t know why I even hoped this trip could fix what’s broken between us. Deep down, I know it’s beyond repair.
And I can’t even be mad at him for it. It’s my fault—every bit of it.
“You didn’t tell me your old friend was gay,” Tyson sneers, breaking the silence as we buckle into my car. The tone of his voice makes my hackles rise instantly.
“He’s not.”
Tyson shrugs dismissively. “Bi, then. Or whatever.”
But that’s not right, either. None of it is right.
As we pull out into the chaotic Vegas traffic, my eyes lock on a motorcycle swerving into the lane in front of us. Xed’s on the back, arms wrapped around Devon like he doesn’t have a care in the world.
My hands tighten on the wheel, knuckles white as memories and emotions crash over me like a tidal wave.
This is going to be a very long week.