47. Xed
Chapter forty-seven
Matty is a ghost of himself on the drive to the hospital.
As I push the Benz to its limits, following the GPS without thinking, he stares blankly out the window, repeatedly mumbling the same words under his breath.
“She’ll be okay. She has to be okay.”
The twenty-minute drive lasts forever. At some point, I reach over, threading our fingers together. His grip tightens instinctively, but his shell-shocked gaze never shifts from the dark.
I don’t even bother finding a parking spot when we finally pull up to the hospital. The car stays running, hazard lights flashing as we bolt through the emergency room doors, skidding to a stop at the front desk, both of us breathless.
“Hannah,” Matty rasps, his voice cracking. He clears his throat and tries again. “My daughter, Hannah Albrecht. She was brought here. I need to see her.”
The nurse asks a series of questions, and Matty falters, his brain clearly too frazzled to answer. I step in, rattling off details while she checks his ID. The process is maddeningly slow, and even though I know she’s just doing her job, it’s taking too long . All I can think about is Hannah.
Finally, the nurse looks up. “You can go back. She just got out of surgery.”
Matty’s halfway through the double doors before I can take a step. The nurse stops me with a tired, apologetic smile when I try to follow. “Immediate family only. Sorry.”
Her words knock the breath out of me. My hands drop to my sides as the truth sinks in: I’m not blood. My connection to Hannah isn’t something they’d recognize.
I stand there, frozen, watching Matty’s retreating back—just like the day Hannah was born. The same nightmare repeating itself.
But then…he stops.
Matty turns, his dazed expression clearing suddenly when he sees me standing there alone. Striding back over, he places a hand on my shoulder, gazing at the nurse firmly. “He is immediate family. He’s my husband. Hannah’s other father.”
I stare at him for a second, my brain struggling to process what he just said.
The nurse exhales loudly, muttering under her breath before waving us through. Matty grabs my hand again, holding tight as we follow her down a sterile, too-bright hallway. When we stop, two police officers are waiting outside Hannah’s door.
“I’ll let the doctor know you’re here,” the nurse says before walking off, and we face the officers together.
“Matthew Albrecht?” one of them asks, his face somber.
Matty nods tightly. “That’s me. Is she…what happened? Is she okay?”
“She’s stable,” he says quickly, holding up a hand. “Your daughter’s injuries aren’t life-threatening, but we need to talk to you about the circumstances of the accident. ”
Matty blinks, glancing at me in panicked confusion. “Circumstances?”
The second cop steps forward. “Hannah’s mother, Valerie, was driving under the influence of cocaine when the accident occurred. She lost control of the vehicle and crashed into a light pole. Your daughter was in the passenger seat instead of a booster. She was wearing a seatbelt, at least, which minimized her injuries, but—"
“Valerie was high ?“ I cut in, my voice rising in disbelief.
“Yes, sir.” The officer nods grimly. “She’s in custody now, pending charges.”
Matty sways on his feet, his grip on my hand tightening so hard it’s almost painful. I step closer, wrapping my arm around him as his breaths turn erratic.
“That... that’s my baby she put in the car,” he whispers, voice breaking. “Hannah could’ve—"
“But she didn’t,” I say firmly, cutting him off before he spirals. “She’s okay. That’s what matters right now.”
The officers exchange a glance, clearly debating whether to say more, but they step aside. “We’ll need a statement later, Mr. Albrecht. For now, you can go see your daughter.”
Matty doesn’t hesitate, dragging me through the door behind him. The sight of Hannah in the hospital bed hits us both like a freight train. She’s so tiny, her arm wrapped in a fresh cast, her face pale but peaceful as she sleeps, the heart monitor beeping steadily.
Relief crashes over me, leaving my knees weak, and Matty lets out a shuddering breath.
“She’s okay,” he says, a sob breaking free as we stand there and hold each other, watching the steady rise and fall of her chest beneath the blanket.
Now that we know she’s safe, the fear in my veins quickly heats to anger, and my fist clenches at my side. “I can’t fucking believe Val would do something like this.”
He’s silent momentarily, an array of emotions flickering across his face. “I can. And that makes me a horrible father.”
“Matthew, you were court-ordered to share custody,” I tell him, kneading his stiff back muscles. “You tried to fight for full and the judge said no. This isn’t your fault.”
“But she’s an addict, Xed, I should have known she’d do something like this—"
“So am I.”
His lips part at my sharp tone, slightly taken aback before he tugs me into his chest. “Ducky, you’ve never done anything to put Hannah in danger. Ever. I trust her with you one hundred percent. None of the drugs even started until I…until I left. Valerie has proven time and again that she can’t be trusted with her own daughter.”
I melt into him, rubbing my cheek against his shoulder as his words settle something in me. “As much as I hate to say this, we can use it to our advantage. Sue for full custody again. There’s no way a judge would agree to let her keep Hannah after this.”
Matty hums but doesn’t respond, his attention on our little girl.
“Did you mean it?” I ask suddenly, looking at him until his sky-blue eyes swing toward me in question. “What you said about me being her other father. Was it truth talking or just to get us back here? ”
His face tightens, and I stiffen, bracing myself for him to deny it once again. For him to rip out my heart.
Instead, he cradles my jaw, leaning down until our noses touch, keeping our gazes locked. “You’ve been her dad from the moment she was born, Xed. Everything she is, everything she’s becoming, is because you helped me raise her. I’m sorry I fought it for so long, but I see that now. It doesn’t matter if she’s not your blood, she’s yours, and she always will be.”
When his lips brush mine, I close my eyes, letting the tears wet my lashes. For a moment, the world slows, and the breath that fills my lungs when I inhale feels like the first I’ve taken in years. Matty’s arms hold me steady even though my knees nearly buckle, and I kiss him back hard, finally, finally feeling like I’ve found my harbor after drifting for so long.
A small voice has us pulling apart, and we both turn toward the hospital bed, where Hannah blinks at us bleary-eyed.
“Daddy?” she calls groggily, reaching out her good arm. Within seconds, Matty is there, dropping to his knees beside her.
“I’m here, jelly bean. It’s alright.” He gently gathers her in his arms, whispering comfortingly in her ear. When she sees me over his shoulder, she holds out a hand, her lip wobbling in a way that breaks my heart.
“Fungus,” she croaks, “I just wanted ice cream. I’m sorry.”
More tears fall as I lean down to kiss the top of her head. “Oh, Creetch, you have no reason to be sorry. You did nothing wrong.”
Her little face twists as she buries it into Matty’s neck. “Mommy told me no, but I kept asking until she yelled at me. I just wanted you and Daddy. She got mad.”
Matty’s grip on her tightens, and his jaw clenches so hard I’m afraid he might crack a tooth. His voice trembles, but he keeps it gentle for her. “None of this is your fault, bean. You hear me? None of it. Mommy made a bad decision, and it’s not on you.”
I feel her little fingers curl tighter around mine, her voice muffled. “Are you mad at me?”
“Never.” Kneeling down to eye level, I cover Matty’s hand on her back with my own. “Never, ever. You’re the best thing in the whole damn world to us, Creature. Nothing will ever change that.”
Matty nods, his free hand stroking her hair in slow, soothing motions. “Xed’s right. We love you more than anything. Don’t you forget it.”
She peeks at me from under messy hair, her big eyes red. “Promise?”
“Promise,” I say, my voice cracking.
“Double promise,” Matty adds, managing a soft smile.
The tension in her little body finally starts to ease. She lets out a shaky breath and leans into us, her hand still clutching mine. The room is quiet for a moment except for the faint hum of machines and the sound of her breathing evening out.
Glancing up at Matty, I find his eyes on mine over Hannah’s head. There’s a storm of emotion there—anger, guilt, fear—but most of all, love.
“We’ll talk to her about it later,” he murmurs, his voice low. “Tonight, all she needs to know is that she’s loved.”
I nod, unable to find the words because he’s right. There’s so much we’ll have to unpack later. Valerie, the crash, what happened between us. But none of it matters right now.
Right now, all that matters is Hannah.
“I’m tired,” she whispers, her voice small and fragile.
“Then sleep, bean,” Matty says softly, rocking her gently. “We’ll be right here when you wake up. ”
She sighs way too heavily for someone her age, relaxing probably for the first time tonight.
Matty and I sit there silently, holding her like she’s the most precious thing in the world—because she is.
Out of everything that’s happened between us, Hannah is the best thing Matty and I ever created together.
And this time, I’m going to help him fight like hell to keep her safe.
By the time we finally make it back to Matty’s, we’re both exhausted. We spent hours going through statements with the police, combing through Valerie’s broken confessions and Hannah’s groggy explanations. Matty was on the phone with his agent and PR lady most of the night, trying to minimize damage while I made sure Hannah was comfortable.
As soon as we walk inside his house with Hannah sound asleep in his arms, an angry quack greets us. We both stare down at the disgruntled duck, his tail twitching angrily as he waits for us at the front door. There’s also a mess by the stairs.
Sighing, I rub my eyes, exhausted from the last twenty-four hours. “I’ll clean it up. You take her to bed.”
Matty smiles, looking as tired as I feel. He leans down to kiss me softly, making my stomach flip, before carrying her up the stairs. I watch them go, my lips twitching when the duck waddles after them like he’s already chosen his person.
I can’t believe I adopted a duck.
Shaking my head, I make my way into the kitchen to grab some cleaning supplies, catching sight of my phone on the counter. There are about a million missed texts from Salem, and I tell her to stop being annoying before getting everything mopped up.
I’m nearly falling over by the time I’m done, limbs protesting with every step I take upstairs. Though I’ve never been here before, it’s not hard to find Hannah’s room—pink light floods out into the hall, and the Children At Play sign hangs on her door. Matty must have put it there.
My throat tightens, remembering our life in our townhome back in Utah, and I clear it softly before stepping inside.
Hannah’s buried under plush purple covers, the duck soundly asleep on her chest, while Matty sits on the side of her bed with his head in his hands. He looks up, blue eyes crinkling at the corners when he spots me.
“Hey,” he whispers, reaching out a hand. “She woke up for a second when the duck hopped on the bed. She asked if he was a chicken.”
With a snort, I lean into him, gazing over Hannah’s room. It looks similar to her old one, only more shark stuffies litter the floor. For some reason, she’s fascinated with them. Even her lamp is a pink Hammerhead with heart eyes. “It’s cozy in here.”
Matty nods, huffing a laugh as he stretches with a groan. “I think we have a future marine biologist on our hands.”
We .
My breath catches, and I glance down to see him watching me closely. A crooked smile pulls at his lips when he stands, pulling me toward the door. “Come on, let’s get some rest.”
He leads me down the hall, where two rooms sit adjacent, one completely empty. When I raise a brow at him in question, he shifts uncomfortably. “That was, uh…Valerie’s room. We didn’t share.”
“Oh.”
Opening his door, he pulls me inside, and once again, my lungs constrict when I take in all our road signs hanging from the walls. Pictures, too, of Hannah with our friends over the years, and even a drawing of the two of us above his bed. It’s anime-style; my mohawk is outrageously huge, while Matty looks jacked as hell. Huckslee’s signature is at the bottom.
“When did you commission this?” I ask, pointing to it.
He shrugs, eyeing it affectionately. “I didn’t. Tay sent it to me after I left your apartment all those months ago.”
“Seriously? How come I didn’t get one?” Asshole.
“He said to show you when I saw you next.” Matty tugs at his hair as he scans the room. “I’ve got all our signs hung…except one. But maybe now that we have the duck, we can put it somewhere.”
Spinning on his heel, he turns toward a walk-in closet to the left, and I follow close behind, already knowing what sign he’s talking about.
Kneeling down, he digs through some boxes before pulling the Duck Crossing sign out of the back.
“I couldn’t look at this one,” he murmurs, reaching out to take my hand. “It hurt too much, Ducky. This sign reminds me of everything we had, everything I lost because I was a dumbass. ”
“You were,” I agree, lifting the corner of my mouth as I squeeze his fingers. “But… I get it, baby. You had Hannah to think about. Parenting is hard.”
“It’s so hard, “ he groans, dropping his forehead to my chest. “And complicated. But you’ve been with me every step of the way.”
“Of course I have. We’re partners.”
He’s quiet for a moment, his head rubbing back and forth against my sternum. “Partners. Best friends. Boyfriends.” Lifting his head, he raises the sign between us. “Husbands?”
Inhaling sharply, I choke on my spit, covering my mouth to cough as I scowl at him. “That’s not funny, Matthew.”
“I’m not joking.” Licking his lips, he glances down at the sign before meeting my gaze once again. “I know this is quick, and I don’t have a ring, but Xed… you’re everything to me. My world, my other half, the father of our daughter. I’ve spent my whole life running from this love we have, and I don’t want to run anymore. I don’t want to fight.”
I blink at him for several seconds, my hands beginning to shake. “Matty, marriage is… big.”
He nods slowly. “Yeah. It is. But I haven’t made this easy on us, and I want to show you I’m all in this time. No more hiding. I want the world to know what you are to me.” A soft, crooked smile pulls at his lips when he lifts a shoulder. “We’ve already been raising a daughter together. How much bigger can marriage be?”
Huffing a laugh of disbelief, I rub my lips as I stare at him. “This is insane. I’d have to quit my job. Where would I work?”
“We’ll figure out whatever we have to do to make this work,” he says simply, making my heart swell with so much emotion that my eyes start to water. “What do you say, Ducky? Will you spend forever with me?”
The tears spill onto my lashes as I let go of his hand to grab his face, crashing our lips together. “Of course I will. Always, baby. Who else?”
Who else could I love more than this?
Who else could be so ingrained in my skin that our souls speak without words?
Who else could walk through hell with me, hand in hand?
“I love you,” he whispers against my mouth, his tears mingling with mine as he sets the sign down to wrap me in his arms. “I love you so much, and I’m going to do right by you and Hannah. I promise.”
“I know you will,” I murmur, pressing my forehead to his. And I do. Of that, I have no doubts.
Because that’s what made me fall in love with him. His caring nature and capacity for good —even to his detriment.
But not anymore. I’ll never let anyone take advantage of that again.
He holds me like he’s afraid I’ll vanish, his mouth warm against my temple as my heart beats steady against his.
For the first time in our lives, I allow myself to feel what I’ve never dared before out of fear and doubt.
It comes easily, naturally, like breathing air.
I allow myself to hope.