48. Matty
Chapter forty-eight
“ L et’s go to sleep, Ducky.”
Taking his hand, I lead my fiance to our bed, smiling to myself at those words. Today has been equally one of my most amazing and terrifying days, but I got through it. I’m getting through it because Xed is here beside me, and for the first time in so long, it feels permanent.
It feels like forever.
For the first time in almost two years, this house finally feels like home.
Stopping by the foot of the bed, I turn to him, finding his gaze already on me. Something flickers in his expression, a mix of awe and apprehension, and my heart lurches painfully as I slowly pull off my shirt. “Can I hold you?”
Any uncertainty left vanishes when his pupils dilate, heat blazing to life in his gold-flecked eyes when they drop down my torso. “Do you even have to ask that?”
“I’ll always ask that.” Stepping closer, I gently push the jacket from his shoulders, letting it slide to the floor. “Forever.” My hands slip beneath his shirt, drawing it up until he lifts his arms for me. “And ever.” When his shirt joins his jacket, I loop my fingers into his belt, tugging on it until it loosens enough to pop open. “And ever.”
Xed’s breath catches as his palms slide down my biceps, and I slip my arms around his waist, pulling him to my chest. The feeling of his bare skin on mine sends a riot of need pulsing through my veins, so strong that it nearly chokes me. Dipping my head, I press my lips to his, softly at first and then harder when he curls his fingers around the back of my neck. When his tongue swipes my bottom lip, seeking entry, I give it, letting him lick into my mouth with a moan that immediately has my cock jumping to life.
“Are you tired?” he asks between kisses, his free hand dipping beneath the hem of my sweatpants to cup my ass. “It’s late. We’ve had a long day, and we’ll probably have another one tomorrow. Should probably get some rest.”
“Mm.” I walk us backward until his legs hit the bed, where he collapses, and I drop the rest of my clothes before climbing on top. “Probably should. Don’t want to.”
There are so many things we’ll have to worry about in the morning. I don’t want any of that to ruin this moment, ruin the fact that Xed is here and we’re finally together after what feels like a lifetime.
“Me neither.” He wraps his legs around my waist, ass grinding on my length, and I groan as I rut against him, burying my face in his neck.
“I know we just had sex like six hours ago, but I really fucking want you again.”
“Yeah?” Reaching between us, he wriggles out of his jeans, allowing me to help slide them off, letting his cock spring free. “How do you want me, baby? Inside you? ”
I shake my head, taking him in my hand to stroke him slowly, loving the way he throws his head back with a grunt. “Can I…can I top this time, Ducky? Last time wasn’t what I wanted for you, and I’m so sorry. I didn’t want your first time to be that way. It should have been special, but I…I ruined it.”
Fresh tears spring to my eyes at the memory, and try as I might to blink them away, one slips onto my cheek. Xed sits up quickly, his brows pinched as he wipes it away, and the scar from where I accidentally hit him has me taking a shuddering breath.
“Listen to me,” he says firmly, grabbing my face in both hands. “Nothing is ruined. We both fucked up. It sucks, yeah, but now we get a chance to move on with our lives. Don’t spend right now in the past. Let’s make some new memories, baby. Together.”
His lips find mine, and I swallow hard, nodding as I close my eyes. “Okay. Together.”
“Always.” Placing a hand on my chest, he pushes until I get the hint. When my back hits the pillows, he straddles me, spitting into his palm before wrapping it around my cock. “Now let me make you feel good.”
And he does. So. Fucking. Good.
I thrust up into his hand, groaning at the way he swipes his thumb over my tip, precum already slipping out. He uses it to coat his fingers before bringing them to his ass with a wince.
“We really need to invest in lube before we get hemorrhoids.”
A loud laugh bursts out of me, but I bite my lip in embarrassment as I reach over to open the drawer to my bedside table, fiddling with the lock. “Well…actually…”
Pulling out a small bottle, I hand it over sheepishly, heat creeping up my neck when Xed’s sharp gaze focuses on my face.
“Why do you have lube next to your bed, Matthew? ”
“Um.” My gaze flies to the dildo resting in the drawer before I slam it shut, praying with all my might that he didn’t notice.
My prayers go unanswered.
“ Matty.” He leans over me, yanking open the drawer before I can stop him, and the next thing I know, the giant dick is waving around my face. “Have you been using this on yourself, big guy? Fuck, it’s even uncut. Like…”
“Like you,” I finish quietly, running my hands up his thighs.
He gazes at me for a moment, every emotion in the book running across his face. Heat simmers in his eyes when he lays his body on top of mine, our lips hovering inches from each other. “Did you use this and imagine it was me, baby?”
A whimper unfurls in my throat as I roll my hips against him, my hard cock trapped between us. “God, yes, every single time. I fucking missed you so much, Ducky.”
“Mm,” he hums, kissing me lightly before setting the dildo back in the drawer. “We can play with that later. Right now, I need you to get me ready.”
Using his thumb, he pops the cap on the bottle before handing it to me, and I groan when he reaches back to spread his cheeks while still lying on my torso.
“I want to see ,“ I whine, squirting lube directly down his crease before slipping my fingers through it. “How come you got to stare at mine earlier, but I have to root around in the dark?”
“Please never use those words again,” he glares at me, resting his chin on my chest. “We’ve got our whole lives to stare at each other’s assholes, Matty. I promise. I’m not going anywhere.”
Those words settle something deep in my soul, all the tension leaving my muscles as I swirl my finger around his tight pucker, feeling it clench. “Yeah. Our whole lives. I love the sound of that. ”
His face softens, a small gasp leaving his lips when I slowly slip inside of him. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. Always.”
Xed scoots up my body, pressing his lips to mine while I finger him gently, working him open for me. It’s slow and lazy, the way our tongues slide together, small moans passing from his mouth to mine as I add a second finger, searching for that special spot. We have all the time in the world.
His cock rubs against my abs as he writhes his hips, and I’ve barely gotten three fingers deep when I find what I’m looking for.
He lets out a strangled groan before shooting into a seated position, his chest heaving. “I’m going to come if we don’t stop.”
I start to snort, but it turns into a grunt when he pours more lube into his palm and wraps it around my length. “Isn’t that the point? Why would we stop?”
“So I can ride your cock, baby,” he breathes, getting me nice and slick before lifting on his knees.
“Oh fuck, yeah, I like that idea.” I grip his waist he slowly slides onto my dick, making me see stars. “Oh God, oh God, fuck me.”
Xed’s hand slaps over my mouth when I let loose a groan, and he presses a finger to his lips when he starts to move. “Shh, quiet. Not so loud.”
I think I nod, but honestly, every thought and function is focused on the soft heat surrounding my length. He’s so fucking tight. My gaze dips to his cock, the way it bounces with each upward thrust, droplets of precum falling to my stomach.
For a moment, I just watch him ride me, taking in the way his lids close in pleasure, his lips slightly parted as his hand slips from my mouth to my shoulder for leverage. I’ve imagined this so many times over the last year, pictured him here with me in bed, our bodies so close that nothing could ever come between us again, and now here he is. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted and more.
When I grip his waist, my thumbs rub circles into his hips, and his eyes open to lock onto my burning gaze. He slows to a stop, brows pinching in concern when he notices the tears on my lashes. “Hey, big guy. What’s that look for?”
“You’re beautiful,” I whisper, swallowing hard as I take a deep breath. “I don’t think I’ve ever told you, but you should know.”
Xed blinks, staring at me silently before his features harden. Reaching out, he grabs my jaw as he rises on my cock before slamming back down again, making me whimper to contain the moan that wants to claw from my throat.
“You. Can’t. Say. That. Shit,” he grits out through clenched teeth, accentuating each word with a roll of his hips, and I wrap my palm around his length, squeezing tightly.
“Yes, I can. You’re mine, and I’ll tell you every day from now on.”
His chest heaves as he starts to ride me hard, thrusting forward into my fist until I feel myself drawing closer. As soon as he leans forward to claim my mouth, I’m fucking gone, unloading inside of him with a muffled groan.
Warmth floods my hand when he follows me over, his movements halting as he spills onto my abs. The feeling of his ass clenching on my cock has my orgasm lasting forever, and once we’re both spent, Xed collapses on top of me, out of breath.
I wrap my arms around him, pinning him to my chest as I bury my face in his hair. A peace settles into my soul, unlike any I’ve known for a long time.
He sighs heavily, his nose brushing my neck when he nuzzles closer before rolling off me. A big grin spreads across my face .
“We get to do this forever,” I say, turning on my side to face him, and his eyes soften as I curl my pinky around his. “And ever, and ever.”
He snorts, rolling his eyes, but I catch the way his lips twitch into a smile before he presses his face into the pillow. “Yeah. Forever. Me and you, baby.”
“Promise?”
Peeking at me from the pillowcase, he raises our hands, slotting his legs between mine. “Pinky promise.”
Pinky promise.
No more fighting it. No more running.
Whatever it takes, however long, I’m going to keep him this time.
I may not know what will happen tomorrow, but one thing’s for sure:
Xed will be there with me no matter what the morning brings. And for the first time in so many years, I can’t wait to open my eyes when the sun rises.
Because the man I love will be the first thing I see.