Chapter 4
Chapter Four
Lena
T he drive to the farm is peaceful, the familiar hills of Hicks Creek rolling past the car window as the sun dips low in the sky. I glance over at Jayla in the passenger seat, her head bobbing along to the music. We’ve been on this road more times than I can count, but this time, it feels different.
It feels final.
I bite the inside of my cheek, fighting back all the tears that want to pour out again. I’ve cried so much over the past few days, I’m surprised there’s anything left.
Jayla and Henry were the only reason I stayed with Aaron, even after his lies and betrayal.
“I don’t want you here anymore, Aaron,” I told him a few days before his death.
“You always say that. You don’t mean it.” He chuckled. “You can’t survive without me financially.”
“You’re cheating on me again. I don’t care if we’re homeless…I won’t let Jayla…”
“You think Jayla will want to stay with you? You’re a fucking joke.” He laughed. “She’ll live with me, I’ll make sure of it. Just because you’re the mayor doesn’t mean shit. The judges in this town love me, and they’ll side with me.”
“Not when they learn about your cheating.”
“They’ll never believe the lies. Our own daughter saw it, and I was able to convince her it wasn’t the truth.” He rolled his eyes. “I have a work thing for the next few days. A stakeout so I won’t be home. When I get back, you’ll be over this bullshit. You know I’m not cheating on you. You just love to play the victim and get attention, so you make shit up.”
He walked out of the house that day, and I went into work as if I hadn’t been crying my eyes out all morning. I still took Jayla to school, picked her up, and did everything like I was supposed to. The entire town thought our marriage was a fairy tale.
Two days later, I dropped Jayla off at school, called Tatum, and told her I’d be working from home. I drove three towns over and got new locks for all the doors and changed them myself. I packed up a suitcase of Aaron’s things and drove over to Henry’s house.
Henry didn’t seem surprised.
“He’s cheating on me again.” I sobbed. “I can’t pretend anymore.”
“Lena, I know I have no right to ask you this, but…please don’t leave him. I know he doesn’t deserve it, but I don’t think he’ll survive if you divorce him. This town won’t survive it either. I can’t lose another son. Let me talk to him.”
“It won’t do any good. You’ve tried. I’ve tried. He just…no matter how much I want to believe that he’s a good man, it’s clear that he’s not. I can’t force him. I can’t save him anymore, Henry. I can’t, and I won’t.”
“Lena,” he sighed as he wrapped me into one of his warm hugs. “Please.”
Both of our phones began ringing at the same time with the Hicks Creek Sheriff Department. My eyes flit to Henry’s as my stomach dropped. I’d never forget the dread and the guilt that filled me because I knew what the phone call signified…I thought it was that he had been hurt. I never dreamed he’d been killed in the line of duty.
“Mom, you okay?” Jayla asks as she reaches over and touches my hand gently, pulling me back from the memory.
“Yeah, yeah, sorry,” I breathe as I shoot her a fake smile.
“It’s okay if you’re not okay, Mom. Isn’t that what Grandpa used to say?”
“It is,” I answer sadly as I squeeze her hand. “I’m not okay, baby, because I miss that old fart something fierce, but this is going to be a night to celebrate him and not to be sad.”
Henry’s last wish had been for a celebration at the farm—a send-off of sorts for everyone who’d meant something to him. And Henry, being Henry, had a knack for bringing people together. It was his way of making sure we wouldn’t all scatter once he was gone.
The man loved a proper party. A moonlit night with a bonfire, food, and friends.
“I think it’s gonna be really nice tonight.”
I smile, grateful for her optimism. Tatum, Jayla, and I had spent the past few days planning this party, determined to make it something Henry would’ve been proud of. The church ladies went ahead earlier to set everything up, laying out food, stringing lights, and preparing the bonfire pit. It will be a night to remember.
As we turn down the long gravel driveway, the farmhouse comes into view, and when I pull in behind Henry’s truck, I see a sleek Maserati parked right in front of the porch.
“What the…?” I murmur, squinting to make sure I’m not imagining things.
Jayla lets out a small gasp.“That’s Uncle Gavin’s car! I almost thought he left, Mom, but he didn’t! He stayed for me like he said he would!”
My heart sinks a little at the idea of her holding so much expectation on Gavin’s actions.
Of course, it’s Gavin’s car. Who else in Hicks Creek would drive a Maserati?
I glance over at Jayla as she grins ear to ear. She hasn’t seen her only uncle in years, and I know how much she misses him, how she idolizes him. But I also know Gavin. He never sticks around for long, no matter how many promises he makes.
“Don’t get your hopes up,” I warn gently, my voice a little softer than usual. “You know how he is. He might be here tonight, but I wouldn’t count on him to stick around.”
Her smile falters briefly, but then it returns, just as bright. “No, Mom, this time’s different. He promised he’d stay for my basketball game on Friday. He told me himself.”
We’ll see.
We step out of the car, the smell of freshly cut grass and barbecue already filling the air. The familiar sounds of laughter and conversation drift from the barn where people gather, but my focus is on the house.Jayla runs ahead of me.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Seeing Gavin at the church today was harder than I expected.
I had at least hoped he’d gained some weight and was unattractive, bald, and missing teeth or something. You know, like maybe karma had caught up to him.
Nope. Instead, he’s still hot af, and my body still responds to him.
I just wanted to fall into his arms so badly. I needed to feel his arms wrap around me and to hear him say that everything would be okay and that he wouldn’t be leaving.
It’s his fault I ended up in a miserable, loveless marriage. If he would have just…loved me like I loved him.
I let out a small groan. I look up to see my daughter waiting for me at the front door. As soon as we step inside, I spot Gavin standing in the kitchen, awkwardly stirring something in a bowl while a couple of the church ladies bark orders at him. His shoulders are tense, his movements stiff, and I stifle a giggle.
Gavin Wells, the golden boy of Hicks Creek, looks like a fish out of water in the kitchen. It’s almost too good.
I miss him so much, but I have no business doing that.
Jayla notices him, too, and breaks into a wide grin. “Uncle Gavin!” she squeals, rushing forward to hug him. “Look at you being put to work.”
His face lights up when he sees her, his awkwardness melting away for a moment as he wraps her in a hug. “Hey, kiddo.” He chuckles. “Can’t exactly say no to any of these ladies.”
“Are you really staying for my game on Friday?”
“Yeah, Jay, I’m really staying.”
She may believe him, but I sure don’t. I know Gavin Wells better than most people. When things get rough, he’ll run.
He makes it a damn Olympic sport at this point.
Jayla practically squeals, turning to me with a triumphant grin. I force a smile, but I can’t shake the feeling that this is just another one of Gavin’s empty promises. I’ve seen it too many times before.
She goes to help him in the kitchen, and I step out back, inhaling the scent of the farm and praying it keeps my sanity intact in the process.
I just have to get through today with Gavin. Easy peasy, right? Avoid him, and things will be fine.
He’s not the man I fell in love with, and the feelings aren’t mutual. I have to stay in my lane and far away from him.
“Man, this is something special.” Tatum smiles as she rubs my shoulder.
“Definitely is. Thanks for all your help. You and Mike, you’ve been incredible.”
“You’d do the same for us.” She shrugs as she gives me a side hug.
She gets called away, and I walk out toward the stables, needing a few minutes alone. I can avoid Gavin as much as possible, but it’s not easy to do when he’s just so prominent in everything he does. I can feel him the second he’s within fifty feet of me.
“You’re in love with my brother, aren’t you?” Aaron accused me. “Or is it someone else?”
“I’m in love with you. I married you. There is no one else,” I replied with a long sigh.
It seemed we had the same argument almost every other week.
“Bullshit. I’m sure you don’t clam up like a prude every time my brother touched you, did you?”
I remember staring back at him in shock. I had a million thoughts wanting to rush out at that moment, but it wasn’t any use.
How could I explain to him or anyone else that Gavin Wells brought out the soft in me, something I had never experienced again? I couldn’t even explain it to myself.
Gavin always had this way of knowing my deepest, darkest fears and fantasies without me having to say anything. He knew how to talk to me, how to hold space for me. He knew how to get me to open up to him in the most beautiful ways.
Yes, I loved him once, but the day he told me we were just fuck buddies, all of those feelings were gone.
I wipe my eyes and blow out a very long, slow breath.
“Well, Henry, you got him to come home finally,” I speak into the wind. “I wish you would have gotten that before you died.”
I really didn’t expect to feel this much hurt, anger, and sadness after seeing Gavin again. I thought I’d processed and moved past it all.
As the day goes on, more people arrive, filling the farm with life and laughter. The food is incredible, and Tatum, Jayla, and I move through the crowd, making sure everything runs smoothly. It’s exactly the kind of night Henry would’ve loved.
Later, as the sun sets and the air cools, we gather around the bonfire. The people closest to the Wells family—Mike, Aaron’s old friends, and some cousins—sit near the fire with guitars, strumming old country songs Henry had loved. I sit on a log, watching the flames flicker, the music wrapping around us all perfectly.
It’s like something out of a movie, and Henry is definitely smiling down on us for this one.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Gavin sitting on the other side of the fire, looking more relaxed than I’ve seen him all day. He has a beer in his hand and is leaning back, laughing at something Mike said. He looks… happy. Like the Gavin I used to know.
“Did you know that Gavin works with a youth shelter in the city?” Tessa, Gavin’s cousin, asks me quietly as she plops down next to me. “I didn’t know either. Color me shook.”
“Where did you hear that from?”
“Social media. Julia showed me.” She rolls her eyes. “You know, she’s still convinced he’s got a thing for her after all these years.”
My stomach clenches at the thought.
Julia and Gavin dated briefly during their senior year. She claims he’s “the one who got away” and constantly contacts her on social media. Aaron told me that Gavin blocked her because she wouldn’t stop sending him nudes.
“Good for him.”
“Maybe he’s not as bad as we all make him out to be.” She shrugs. “I’m not condoning his disappearing act, but…he’s a millionaire. He's doing a lot of good with the money he’s made.”
“It’s probably all for show or as a tax write-off.”
“I remember a time when you thought he hung the moon.”
“Kind of hard to see it that way when he couldn’t even call me or Henry when Aaron died. He wasn’t…dammit, I know I keep saying that, but…it’s unfathomable to me.”
“I get it.” She nods as she gives me an awkward side hug. “Your feelings are valid. But…give a little grace.”
Grace. Sure. I’ve given so much grace in my life, and I am sick of people telling me to give more. I don’t have any more to give.
I sigh and stand, deciding I need another drink. I head inside, grabbing a cold beer from the fridge. A warmth surrounds me, like someone is there with me, holding me, watching me, protecting me. I smile as I close my eyes and take in that feeling.
I haven’t felt that in a long time.
I used to feel it any time my eyes were closed and Gavin walked into the room.
As I turn around, I nearly jump out of my skin.
Gavin stands there, leaning against the counter, watching me.
“You always did have a knack for sneaking up on people,” I mutter, trying to steady my nerves.
“Just wanted to see if you were still as jumpy as ever.”
I roll my eyes, taking a sip of my beer. “Still the same Gavin, huh?”
“How’s life been treating you, Lena?”
“Perfectly,” I reply sarcastically.
“Stupid question, I guess. I’m sorry about Aaron. I know that had to be rough. I…should have been here.”
“I was sorry to hear about you and Sarah,” I state.
She was never right for him, so it is somewhat of a lie, but I need to steer the conversation away from Aaron.
“Yeah, well. We weren’t meant to be.”
His face darkens instantly, his jaw tightening. His voice is hard, cutting off any chance for me to keep going.
I regret saying anything. Just when I was starting to see that playful side of him again, I’d hit a nerve.
“Look, Gavin, I didn’t mean to—”
“It’s fine, Lena.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I don’t want to talk about Sarah.”
“ Okay .”
We stand there for a moment, neither of us saying anything. The laughter and music from the bonfire drifts in through the open window, but inside the kitchen, it feels too quiet.
Finally, he sighs and leans against the counter again, his expression softening just a little. “You know, Dad would’ve loved this. You guys did a good job with the party.”
I smile, grateful for the change in subject. “Yeah, he would’ve. It was his idea, after all. We just tried to make it as close to what he wanted as possible.”
“He always knew how to throw a party.”
“Yeah, he did.” I pause, studying him for a moment. “You doing okay?”
Why did I just ask him that? Stop trying to take care of him!
Gavin’s eyes meet mine, and for a second, I see something raw in them, something vulnerable. But he quickly masks it with a smile. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”
Listen to him. Don’t try to decipher his words. He says what he means.
He’s fine. Leave it at that.
“Alright,” I reply softly, turning to head back outside. “But if you ever want to talk…”
What am I doing? I just couldn’t resist, could I? Always the fixer, always.
I let out a long, exasperated sigh as I leave him in the kitchen alone. My heart clenches, and tears prick my eyes.
Later that night, as the fire burns lower and the crowd thins out, I see Gavin sitting on a log near the edge of the group, his eyes fixed on the flames. He looks lost in thought.
I watch him for a moment, debating whether to go over and talk to him. Part of me wants to reach out and break through that wall he always put up. But another part of me knows better. Gavin isn’t the type to let people in, not really.
What do I think will happen if I talk to him? He’ll finally see how amazing I am and what a mistake he made all those years ago?
I stay where I am, sitting with Jayla and Tatum, listening to the music and relishing the warmth of the fire. Whatever is going on with Gavin, he’ll have to deal with it in his own way.
Not my circus. Not my monkey.
He lost that access to me when he told me we weren’t in a relationship and were just fuck buddies.
Maybe holding a grudge for eighteen years is a bit much?
The house is quiet, and everyone is long gone except for Jayla, who has fallen asleep on the couch, her head resting on a pillow, curled up in one of Henry’s old quilts. I gently drape another blanket over her, watching her for a moment before heading to the kitchen to clean up the last of the dishes. The clink of plates and the running water in the sink fill the silence. The night has been a success, bittersweet but filled with love, exactly how Henry would’ve wanted it.
When I step back outside, I see Gavin crouched by the fire, stirring the embers with a long stick. He is putting it out, smothering the last flames.
“You’re still here,” I state quietly, walking toward him.
He glances up, offering a tired smile. “Yeah, still here. I’m staying in my old room for the night.”
I watch him for a moment, the glow from the fire casting shadows across his face. He looks different now, the weight of the day hanging heavy on him. For once, that polished, unshakable facade he always wears seems to have cracked, and what is underneath looks… raw.
“Thank you,” he says suddenly as he stands, brushing his hands on his jeans before looking at me. “For taking care of everything. The funeral, this party… all of it. Dad would've loved tonight. I just…” His gaze drops for a moment. “Thanks.”
His vulnerability catches me off guard. Gavin isn’t the type to show that side of himself. I take a step closer, wanting to offer him something, anything to ease the hurt I can see flickering in his eyes.
Why do I always let him get to me like this?
One moment of vulnerability doesn’t mean he’s changed!
“Henry was always so proud of you. Even when you didn’t think he was. He talked about you all the time. You know that, right?”
It’s the truth, but I don’t know why it came out. I don’t have to ease his pain or his guilt; he needs to feel guilty for not having contact with his dad for these past eighteen or so years. It’s not my responsibility to take the guilt away for him. My stomach clenches, and the familiar tightness is in my chest as I fight back the tears.
“It’s my fault he left,” Henry told me. “I stuck my nose in where it didn’t belong, but I thought I was doing the right thing.”
Gavin lets out a soft breath, almost like a laugh, but there is a sadness to it. He shakes his head slightly, not meeting my eyes. “I don’t know about that.”
I step closer again, just enough to feel the warmth from him.
It’s intoxicating. It feels like home.
“It’s true. He loved you more than you’ll ever know.”
I clear my throat and look away quickly. Talking about Henry and being this close to Gavin is causing too many emotions.
I should go back inside.
He shifts slightly, turning as if to walk away, but his arm brushes against mine as he does. It’s the lightest touch but sends a jolt through me, electric and sharp. I feel it down to my core, and I know he felt it too because he freezes, his back to me now, his body tense.
Then, as if pulled by something neither of us can explain, he turns around. His eyes meet mine, dark and intense, and he steps forward and grabs me, pulling me into him.
And then his lips are on mine, fierce and hungry, the kind of kiss that knocks the breath out of you and leaves you dizzy. I melt into him, my hands tangling in his shirt, every thought, every worry slipping away. The fire between us is undeniable, consuming, and I feel it burn all the way down to my toes, making my entire body hum with electricity. I can feel the heat and the dampness fill my panties. I get lost in the moment, in the sensations of everything I want this to mean.
I kiss him back with everything I have, years of unspoken words and hidden feelings pouring into that moment. Tears sting my eyes as I feel every ounce of the love I have for him, every bit of how much I’ve missed him all these years.
I’d forgotten how good this man could kiss.
When we finally break apart, breathless, I’m left reeling, my heart pounding in my chest as I stare up at him. His forehead rests against mine, his breath hot against my lips. Neither of us says a word, but the look in his eyes tells me everything I need to know.
What are you doing, Lena? You can’t be here with him, like this, right now!
He’s not going to stick around. Don’t get your heart broken again!
Then the anger hits me like a tidal wave, and the tears threaten to fall in front of him. I want to punch him in the stomach for the pain he put me through. I pull away, shoving him at the same time and scurry into the house because what else am I going to do?