Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
Lena
I just had really amazing hot sex with my late husband's brother, and I don’t know how to feel about it.
That’s a lie. I forgot how amazing it feels to be in his arms, how he just feels like home to me.
I’ve never been self-conscious around him. The way he looks at me like I’m the only woman in the world for him is intoxicating and overwhelming at the same time.
I leave him in the pantry as I walk outside to assess the damage. I look around at the farm and say a silent prayer, grateful that it looks relatively unharmed. Shingles litter the yard, and trees are down, but the house and barns remain standing.
I can only hope that my house and town didn’t get any extensive damage.
I’m shaking as I walk quickly to my car, but it has nothing to do with the storm and its aftermath.
It has everything to do with how thoroughly that man just fucked me. And, of course, how quickly all my emotions are coming at me right now.
“Where are you going?” he calls after me.
I can’t turn around. I need to put as much distance between us as possible.
Don’t tell him you love him. Don’t do it!
“Into town. I have to make sure Jayla and the town are okay. Someone could need me.”
His face is blank as he stares back at me. I climb into my blue Ford Bronco, start it, and quickly pull out of the driveway before I can run back and jump into his arms.
Don’t look back. Don’t look back.
Shit, did I really have amazing hot sex with that man while there was a tornado raging outside?
It was because I feared for my life…that would make me do crazy, illogical things based on adrenaline.
Yup, that’s it.
I pull over on the side of the road, far enough away from the farm so Gavin won’t be able to see me.
I grip the steering wheel tightly as I close my eyes and try to pull myself together.
I just had sex with my dead husband’s brother. My ex and, let’s be honest, the one who got away.
Tears fall down my cheeks. As I focus on controlling my breathing and keeping myself from having a panic attack, the guilt hits me hard as my feelings for Gavin come bubbling over.
Was I a horrible wife because I lied to myself and hid my feelings for Gavin all this time? Did I deserve to be cheated on?
I shake my head and let out a long groan.
I didn’t deserve any of the shit that man put me through.
The truth is, Gavin always treated me like a queen. Had I taken a step back that day when he referred to me as a fuck buddy, I probably would have realized how off brand it was for him.
Gavin Wells didn’t do casual, and he had too much respect for a woman to really call her a fuck buddy, especially me.
Had I not been so hurt and scared at the time, maybe I could have had an entirely different life these past eighteen years.
The short drive is longer than normal as I have to skirt around downed trees and rising creeks. Thankfully, the damage isn’t extensive as I drive into town. I go straight to the high school.
“Principal Dane!” I call out as the older man walks around outside.
“Mayor Marshall, how lovely to see you.” He grins. “Thanks for checking on us. Seems to be minimal damage, and everyone is safe and accounted for, even Jayla.”
“That obvious, huh?”
“I’m a parent, too.” He chuckles. “Grade school is good, too. Callie already called my cell to let me know. We don’t have power, though, so we’re working on an early dismissal now.”
“Thank goodness the cell phones are working still. Do you care if I grab Jayla now?”
“Not at all. It’s probably about to get crazy with other parents coming in, too.”
My phone begins ringing as I follow him inside the school.
“Hey, Tatum,” I greet her.
“The whole town is without power. Pastor Will called to say he’s getting the generator going and that there’ll be a safe space until power is restored. Sheriff's department and first responders are out walking the streets helping anyone who needs it.”
“I’m at the school picking up Jayla, and then I’ll be right there.”
“There's no rush. Michael is headed past our house and will check yours for damage, too.”
“He really is a saint.”
He looked out for me more than my husband ever did.
I blow out a long breath and shove the thought down deep. There’s no time for me to be thinking about that now.
“That he is,” she agrees. “I’ll see you when you get here.”
“Thanks, Tatum.”
I hang up the phone just as Jayla comes into the principal’s office with her backpack. She immediately hugs me.
“That was scary.”
“It was. Are you okay?” I ask before we make our way out of the school.
“Yeah, we were all in the hallway together. Are we going to city hall?”
“Is that okay? We can pick up your truck later. The roads are a mess, and I’d rather you not attempt to drive.”
“It’s fine. Can I call Uncle Gavin to come pick me up later?”
My heart stops, and I mask my panic by gripping my door handle and climbing into the car quickly.
I can’t have these feelings for him. It’s wrong. It’s too soon after Aaron died, and…I just need him to stay as far away from me as possible.
“Baby, I don’t…”
“C’mon, Mom, please.”
I blow out a breath before I nod.
“Yes, you can.”
She grins widely as she climbs into the SUV.
“I hope the farm is okay.”
“Minimal damage, nothing that can’t be fixed easily,” I answer without thinking.
Please don’t ask any questions about how I know that.
“Cool.”
Her head is already down as she scrolls through her phone. Within minutes, we are parked and walking into my office at city hall.
“Generators are going, Mayor,” our maintenance guy, Jack, informs me.
“Thanks!”
Tatum is rushing around my office as we walk inside. The phone is ringing off the hook, and Jayla immediately goes to an empty desk and answers one of the lines.
You can tell this isn’t her first rodeo.
“I guess our phone lines aren’t down?” I joke.
“Unfortunately not.” Tatum laughs.
Pride beams through me as I grin, watching Jayla speak calmly and courteously to whoever is on the other end.
“Thank goodness.” Tatum smiles. “It’s a madhouse. Principal Dane just called to let us know that the custodial team also got the generators going, and they are setting up the gym with cots and whatever else is needed to house people tonight. Some of the churches are getting food together to feed everyone.”
“Man, this town really bands together, don’t they?”
“Always has.”
For the next hour, everything is a whirlwind.Phones ring off the hook, and people rush in and out, but despite the scariness of the storm, people are grateful and helpful. It really wasn’t as bad as it could have been, mostly bad roofs and broken windows. The power outage is the biggest problem for most of us.
I run between desks, barely keeping up with the endless stream of questions. Tatum and I are both trying to handle it all while Jayla, God bless her, bounces around helping direct people to the designated safe zones like the little busybody she is.
“Lena, do we have the final list of the families who need emergency housing?” Tatum calls from the other side of the room, eyes wide as she shuffles through papers.
“Not yet! I think Mrs. Harris is hoarding all the answers again.”
Tatum groans and smacks a pile of folders onto her desk with a dramatic flair. “Of course she is. Does she ever give anyone a straight answer?”
“Not unless it's about her casserole recipes,” I mutter, fighting the urge to roll my eyes as I take another call.
Jayla flits past, her curly hair bouncing behind her like a trail of energy. She’s talking to someone on her walkie-talkie, a look of intense focus on her little face as she relays instructions from one side of the building to the other.
“Jayla, honey, slow down!” I call after her, but she just waves me off.
“Can’t, Mom! Gotta help Mr. Jim get the seniors to the van. Be right back!”
She darts out the door, and I just shake my head with a grin.
“She’s going to run herself ragged,” I say to myself, rubbing the bridge of my nose.
Tatum snorts from her desk. “She’s a miniature of you. Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
“She’s been on-site for these emergencies practically since she was born. I guess she’s been paying attention.”
“Hey, Lena!” Hank calls out as he walks into the office. “I came to offer my services.”
“Hank, I…I don’t really have time.”
Damn if he doesn’t just pop out of nowhere all the time.
The door swings open, and the smell of greasy, glorious takeout wafts into the room. My head snaps up, and Gavin stands in the doorway holding two large brown bags from Betty’s Diner. His presence fills the room the moment he steps in like it always does.
How does he do that? How does he always look larger than life while also making my stomach do that stupid flutter thing?
Ope, there’s the warmth between my thighs, too.
Aftereffects of those amazing orgasms he gave me. Jerk.
His dark hair is a little tousled, probably from the wind outside, and he’s wearing that easy, confident smile that always seems to disarm people. He’s got that rugged, effortlessly handsome look about him, and I know for a fact he doesn’t even try.
“Look who’s here with the goods!” Jayla exclaims as she walks back into the office, her voice cutting through the chaos as she spots him and rushes over. “Uncle Gavin, you’re a hero!”
Gavin chuckles as he sets the bags on the counter. “I wouldn’t go that far, kiddo. Just thought you all could use some fuel while you're saving the day.”
“I guess you’re taken care of,” Hank says offhandedly before he disappears out of the office just as quickly as he popped in.
Gavin pulls out containers of food, and Jayla’s eyes light up like it’s Christmas morning.
“Oh my God, you got fries! Extra crispy, just how I like them!” she squeals, grabbing the container with both hands and hugging it to her chest. “You're the best, Uncle Gavin. Seriously.”
“Don’t mention it.”
My stomach growls loudly, reminding me that I haven’t eaten since... what? Breakfast? Maybe yesterday? I can’t even remember. I walk over, my exhaustion momentarily overshadowed by the tantalizing smell of food.
“Thanks,” I say, grabbing a drink. “You didn’t have to do this.”
Gavin looks at me with that slow, knowing smile of his and hands me a container. “I ordered your favorite. Chicken fried steak with mashed potatoes.”
Even Aaron couldn’t remember that.
I clear my throat, trying to shake off the twinge of awkwardness. Tears prick at my eyes, and I immediately look away.
It’s just a nice gesture and a lucky memory. It means nothing.
“Well, you’ve got a good memory, I guess.”
“Only when it comes to what you like.” He’s leaning against the counter, looking far too comfortable.
Jayla is busy tearing into her fries, oblivious to the looks between Gavin and me. I try to keep my eyes focused on the food, doing everything I can not to acknowledge the way he’s watching me.
I’m going to need him to stop. Otherwise, we’ll need a Caution, Slippery When Wet sign to follow me around.
Tatum walks over, grabs a container, and gives me a look. One that says she’s very aware of the situation. She lifts an eyebrow but says nothing.
I take a bite, half distracted by the steady stream of people outside the office who still need direction and are looking for help. My mind snaps back to the task at hand, and the food is briefly forgotten.
“Gavin, thanks again for the food, but we’ve got a lot of people still coming in, and I need to make sure everyone is accounted for.”
He gives me that disarming smile again, but something else flickers in his eyes.
“Lena, you’re running yourself into the ground. Why don’t you let Tatum handle the questions for a bit? Isn’t that what you have an assistant for?”
I bristle at his tone. “It’s too much for just one person to handle.”
“Yeah, but you could delegate a little more,” he states gently, but it feels patronizing. “You’re doing too much on your own. Let someone else take over for a bit.”
How dare he come in here and tell me how to do my job?
I cross my arms over my chest. “I said I’ve got it. I don’t need you swooping in and telling me how to do my job.”
He runs a hand through his hair. “Lena, I’m not trying to take over. I’m just saying…”
“I don’t need a lecture right now. I have work to do.”
I turn away from him, hoping that would end the conversation, but of course, it doesn’t.
He steps closer, lowering his voice so Jayla can’t hear. “You never let anyone help, Lena. You’re so focused on doing everything yourself, on making sure everyone else is okay, but who’s taking care of you?”
I inhale sharply and fight back the tears.
Who else is going to take care of me but me? It’s always been on me to take care of everyone and everything.
“If you leave me, I’ll kill myself,” Aaron said to me one night after a fight. “You’re the only thing I live for.”
It didn’t matter how miserable I was in my marriage. I couldn’t be responsible for that.
I grit my teeth, shoving the memory down again. I turn back to face him.
I need to get his focus off me.
“Not everyone can afford to be selfish like you.”
He flinches just a little, but I don’t have the energy to feel bad about it right now. Too much is going on. Too many people depend on me.
He’s got a lot of nerve. He hasn’t been in this town or seen me in eighteen years, and he wants to come in and tell me what I’m like.
He doesn’t even know me anymore.
I mean, maybe there’s some truth to it, but he doesn’t know that.
He doesn’t know me.
“Stubborn,” he mutters.
“Well, don’t worry about me,” I snap, walking toward the door. “I can take care of myself.”
He opens his mouth like he’s about to say something else, but then Jayla pipes up from behind him.“Mom, I’m gonna go help Uncle G unload the rest of the stuff from his truck, okay?”
“Rest of the stuff?”
“Yeah, Miss Betty sent over food for everyone working,” Jayla answers as she and Gavin disappear out the door.
“That man is so damn frustrating,” I groan as I drop my head on the desk.
“Um, are you insane?” Tatum giggles.
“What?”
She throws a hand up, gesturing toward the door. “I know he hurt you, like a lot, but…he’s right. And…I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think you should give him a shot. Maybe he’s changed.”
I stare at her for a beat, then laugh. “Tatum, you’ve officially lost it. You can’t be agreeing with him.”
She leans against the counter, arms crossed, giving me a knowing look. “The guy brings you food, remembers your favorite dish, and practically begs you to let him help, and you’re acting like he’s annoying you.”
“ He’s Aaron’s brother .”
“Who cares? You’re not dead. I’m not telling you to sleep with him, but it would be okay if you did. But damn, girl, let a hot guy help you out and maybe flirt with you a little while you’re at it.”
I roll my eyes, but I can’t help the smile tugging at the corner of my mouth. “You make it sound so simple.”
“It is simple. You, my friend, are overthinking it. Like massively overthinking it.”
“Tatum,” I say, but I can’t look her in the eye.
“Oh shit.” She laughs loudly before she slaps the desk. “You slept with him already, didn’t you?”
“I…I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Liar!” she shrieks quietly. “You can’t even deny it. Okay, well, we’ll come back to that. I see what’s happening. You’re scared because he’s actually trying, and you don’t know what to do with that. You’re terrified you’re going to get hurt again.”
I huff out a laugh, shaking my head. “Okay, Dr. Phil.”
“Hey, I’m not saying anything is wrong with your feelings. They’re beyond valid. I know you were in love with him at one point, and he destroyed you with his words. I also know that the second man you trusted with your heart shit on it every chance you got. But people can change.”
“It’s too much. I can’t…I don’t have time to talk about this now,” I mutter.
“Don’t distract me from the details of the hookup. When did you have time to sleep together?”
I look away again. “During the tornado.”
“Damn girl, you into some freaky fun. I like it.”
My face turns bright red as she giggles hysterically.
I’m never going to live this down.