Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
Gavin
I haven’t had a moment to breathe since I came home, but now that I’m waiting around to see if I can help Lena out, I take a minute and call Collin.
One of the employees at the youth center had introduced the two of us. He was a kid from a rough part of the city, full of talent, but no one believed he’d amount to anything more than a thug.
He’s a smart kid with a bright future in football. He’d never had anyone show up for him, and I was able to do that by taking him to practices and games. He’s stayed the night with me more times than I can count, and I’m looking into making that more permanent, but it’s a long process.
“Hey, Gavin, you back in town?”
“Nah, buddy.” I sigh. “It seems I’m here for the long haul as per my father’s will.”
“You’re not coming back?”
“I will, for visits. I just…shit, I hate doing this over the phone, but I wanted you to know first. My father’s will stipulates that I have to remain here for a year or our family farm goes to auction.”
“You can’t let that happen,” he says softly.
“My friend Sean will be around, though. I’ll make sure he helps you get everywhere you need to be.”
“Nah, Gavin, I can figure that out.”
“Nope. I got you.”
He’s quiet on the other end of the phone for a few seconds before he says thank you.
“I’ll be in touch, Collin. There was a tornado here, and it’s a little hectic. I’ll call you soon, okay?”
“Thanks, Gavin. Take care.”
I take a deep breath as I hang up the phone. I didn’t expect that to be so hard. My chest tightens with sadness. He handled it well, but I can’t help but worry that he was just hiding his emotions from me.
I arranged for Sean to hang out with Collin when I learned I was coming home for the funeral because they’ve met plenty of times. I’m not thrilled with the idea of not being there for Collin or the youth center, but Sean will do great in my absence.
“Can you run me home to grab some things? Mom said I can stay the night at the farm with you,” Jayla explains as she comes into the hallway where I’m standing.
“Where’s your mom going to stay?”
“With Aunt Tatum…I mean, if she actually sleeps. She'll most likely be here all night figuring things out. She’ll go days without sleeping.”
“Sounds like your mom.”
“I didn’t realize you and Mom really knew each other well.”
The two of us make our way outside to the parking lot before we climb into my truck
“You do know that your grandparents were neighbors, right? Your mom was the girl next door.”
“I didn’t know that. I think Grandma and Grandpa moved to Florida when I was four.”
“I’ve known your mom forever.”
She’s quiet as I steer the car toward her home, avoiding the downed limbs and garbage cans that litter the streets. We pull into the driveway a few minutes later.
“You don’t have to come in,” she states as I climb out of the car with her.
“I’m not letting you walk into that house alone. Power outages are when thieves break in and try to steal from people.”
“That doesn’t happen in Hicks Creek.” She giggles with a roll of her eyes.“Especially not when your dad and grandpa…were the sheriffs.”
Her face is sad as if she’s suddenly just realized they’re both gone.
“You don’t know that, and I’m not taking the chance.”
She unlocks the front door, and I go in first, ensuring there are no intruders or damage to the inside of the house. Everything is clear. The house is almost too quiet as we walk into the living room.
She hurries up the stairs and disappears into a room at the top. Her bedroom, I assume.
I can’t help but notice all of the family photos that line the walls, the smiling faces of Aaron and Lena on their wedding day, cradling baby Jayla, and moments from holidays that I missed, all frozen in time. I try not to stare at them, but it’s hard not to. This place is filled with an entire lifetime that unfolded without me, and I feel its weight deep in my heart.
Seeing her and Aaron smiling at each other on their wedding day makes me nauseous. That should have been me.
“I’m ready,” she murmurs as she looks up at the picture of Aaron and my dad, holding a duffel bag, a backpack, and a pillow in her arms.
“When was this taken?”
“A month or so before Dad died. Mom wanted family pictures done.”
“Oh, that’s right. Your dad kept begging me and Sarah to come for it.”
“Sarah,” she mumbles. “I’m glad you’re not with her anymore, Uncle G. She wasn’t nice.”
I cock an eyebrow as I look back at her in shock.
“Why do you say that?”
“She was really mean to me when you weren’t looking. I also overheard her on the phone once saying…not nice things about you. She hated Mom, but I don’t think they ever met.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me that?”
“Mom told me that whatever she was saying about her didn’t matter because it wasn’t the truth. She also said that sometimes married people say things about their spouse that they don’t really mean.”
I nod, not really knowing how to answer. I grab her duffel and backpack out of her hands and throw them in the back seat of the truck. We get in without saying much, and I don’t push. Instead, I start the engine, and we drive back to the farm.
Sarah wasn’t a nice person, and even Jayla could see that before I could.
She had used me for my money, cheated on me, and tried to make my life miserable.
I always told her that I didn’t want kids. The truth was, kids don’t bother me, but the idea of being a parent with Sarah didn’t sit right with me.
Now I know why.
Rejection is protection, isn’t that what they say?
When we arrive at the farm, the sky is beginning to darken, casting long shadows over the fields. I park the car and glance at my niece, who stares out the window. The fading light illuminates her face, and for a moment, she looks so much like Aaron it makes my breath catch.
“Let’s get inside,” I say, forcing myself to shake off the feeling. “We’ll make some dinner, maybe play a game or something.”
She doesn’t respond but picks up her pillow as I grab the rest of her bags and follows me inside. The farmhouse is old, but it has a warmth to it, a familiarity that I hadn’t realized I missed until I came back. I’d gotten the generator going earlier, so the lights flicker on as we walk through the front door. Jayla drops her bag by the couch and sits down, pulling out her phone and plugging it into the charger.
“I can make some spaghetti,” I offer, knowing it’s one of the few meals I can cook without burning the house down.
Jayla looks up at me, giving me a small smile. “Sure.”
As I busy myself in the kitchen, I hear a movie starting on her phone. Jayla has settled in, watching something I don’t recognize, but it doesn’t matter. It’s good to see her relaxing, even if only for a little while. While I cook, we talk, and I quickly do a little work from my phone, trading some stocks and checking the market for my clients. I stop when the slow internet leaves me frustrated.
After we eat, I pull out an old board game from the closet. We played it when Aaron and I were kids, though I can’t remember the last time we played it together. Jayla is a lot better at it than I expected, and before long, we are both laughing, caught up in the game.
I really miss spending time with my niece. She’s something special.
After the game, Jayla yawns, her eyes drooping as the exhaustion catches up with her. I help her settle on the couch with a blanket, and she falls asleep watching her movie, her phone still plugged into the charger. I stand there for a while, just watching her sleep, wondering how the hell I’m supposed to fill the shoes Aaron left behind.
I’ve done great with the teenage boys at the center, but I have no experience with teenage girls.
He didn’t ask you to. It’s not your responsibility. She has a mother to take care of her.
My thoughts flit back to Lena and our encounter in the pantry. She hasn’t changed; still as beautiful and sensual as she was in her twenties. Now, she is even more confident and sexy than she was then.
My pants tighten at the thought of her. I clear my throat and walk back to the kitchen table, cleaning up the board game. When that’s done and everything else is cleaned up in the kitchen, I head into the small office at the back of the house. It’s cluttered with old files and papers, things my father left behind when he passed. I haven’t had the energy to go through any of it, but tonight is different. Maybe it is the quiet or the weight of everything left unsaid between my father and me, but I feel drawn to the desk, to the letter Lena dropped off earlier.
Pulling the envelope from the drawer where I’d stashed it, I sit down. The handwriting is neat, precise, and almost formal. I stare at it for a long time before I finally open it. Inside is a single sheet of paper, folded carefully in half. As I unfold it, my father’s words stare back at me, and I feel a strange mix of anger and curiosity in my chest.
Gavin,
If you’re reading this, then I’m gone, and there’s nothing left to say between us. At least, nothing I could say in life. I know we never saw eye to eye, and I know you’ve always wondered why things were the way they were between us. I wasn’t a good father to you. I know that. But there are things you don’t know and need to understand if you’re ever going to find peace in your life.
I made a mistake all those years ago when I told you to stay away from Lena. Aaron was different with her. He was calm, thought about consequences, and wanted to be the best version of himself for her, but he got messed up with the wrong crowd. Lena tried so damn hard to save him.
I used my position as sheriff to keep your brother out of jail, and I’m not proud of that. He only joined the Army because he had no other choice. Even that didn’t get him on the straight and narrow, though. It only made things worse.
I put too much on Lena’s shoulders because I thought she was the only one who could bring him back into the light, but I was wrong. I sentenced her to a life of misery, shattered my relationship with you, and allowed my other son to ruin the laws he was meant to uphold. I can never apologize enough.
I had reasons for keeping all this hidden, but I’m not sure they were right. Maybe I should have told you years ago, but it’s too late for that now. All I can do is leave you with this: Look deeper. The answers are there if you’re willing to find them.
You may not want to, and I wouldn’t blame you for that. But if you choose to dig, you might finally understand why I did what I did.
Please, take the gift of remaining at the farm for the year for the gift that it is. Get to know Lena again, fall in love with her all over again. Build a relationship with your niece and come back to the small-town roots that made you the good man you are.
I’ve always been so proud of you, Gavin, and I’m sorry I’m only just now telling you in a letter.
I hope, someday, you can forgive me.
Dad
Tears fill my eyes, and I can’t keep them from falling. For the first time in my life, my dad told me he was proud of me. I’ve spent my entire life chasing those words, and now that I have them, I don’t feel anything but sadness.
I read the letter twice, trying to make sense of it, but the words feel cryptic, almost like a riddle.
What secrets could my father have been hiding? And why had he never told me about them?
I would have known if my brother was into something bad, wouldn’t I? Aaron was always a little asshole, but that’s how little brothers are supposed to be. He was wild and got into minimal trouble like stealing our high school rival’s mascot and filling the school pool with red dye. He wasn’t capable of more than harmless pranks. It’s not how we were raised.
I lean back in the chair, still clutching the letter in my hand, and stare at the ceiling, trying to process what I just read.
A part of me doesn’t want to dig. I don’t want to unravel whatever mess my father left behind. But another part of me can’t let it go. My father had never been the type to speak in riddles or leave things unfinished, and this letter felt like a challenge, like he was daring me to uncover whatever secrets he had buried.
But where will I even start?
I glance around the office, my eyes landing on the old filing cabinet in the corner. It is filled with documents, financial records, and papers my father had meticulously organized over the years. Maybe the answers are in there. Or perhaps this is just another dead end, another way for him to mess with my head, even from beyond the grave.
Still, I can’t shake the feeling that there is something more to this. Something I need to find.
With a sigh, I stand and walk over to the cabinet, pulling open the top drawer. If my father wants me to dig, then I’ll dig.
Is this just your way of keeping me in Hicks Creek, Pops?