Chapter 9 #2
He stood near the door with his hands in his jacket pockets, looking around the apartment in that quiet way he looked at everything.
“Julius and Mika did good,” he said.
“They really did,” I said, and I meant it. “Are you staying in the building tonight, or are you headed out to the camp?”
“I’m staying,” he said. “Unless you want me to leave.”
Something in my chest settled. “Okay. Do you want a glass of wine?”
“No, I’m good.”
We sat on the couch, me sitting sideways with one knee pulled up, facing him.
“Hawk and Wolfe got a couple of names for us. Kat’s working on them, and we should have something definitive by morning.”
“That sounds good,” I said.
A comfortable quiet settled between us.
“I should let you get some sleep,” he said. “I can take the couch if you want.”
“Or we could share the bed.” I held his gaze and made sure he could see that I meant it, because after that kiss this morning, we both knew what would happen if he stayed in bed with me.
He leaned forward, forearms on his knees. “Noah.” His voice was even but careful. “I need you to be sure about what you’re asking for. I’ll sleep on that couch, and it changes nothing between us. That’s not why I’m here.”
“I know that,” I said. “I know. I’m asking because I want you there.” I tilted my head slightly. “Do you want to be there?”
He looked at me for a long moment. I didn’t look away. Finally, something in his expression softened, and he nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “I do.”
I let out a breath and reached over, laying my hand on top of his where it rested on his knee. He turned his hand and laced our fingers together.
We stayed like that for a moment.
“Jackson,” I said quietly.
“Yeah.”
“I’m not fragile.”
He looked at me, neither of us speaking.
Finally, I decided that, apparently, today was about me being brave. I went down into that cellar, and now I was going to do this. I took in a breath and then looked him right in the eyes. “I know what I want, Daddy,” I said. “And I know what I don’t. You don’t have to treat me like I’m breakable.”
His eyes darkened, and he took in a deep breath. Then he stood and he drew me to my feet. “Okay, baby boy,” he said. “Let’s go to bed then.”
The bedroom was dim; the only light was what came in through the curtains from the city below.
I sat on the edge of the bed and watched Jackson move through the space.
He set his phone on the nightstand, pulled off his jacket, and hung it over the chair back.
All of it was deliberate and unhurried. Something about watching him do ordinary things seemed so right.
He turned and looked at me.
“Still good?” he asked.
“Still good.”
He crossed the room and stood in front of me, close but not crowding. He reached down and tipped my chin up with two fingers.
“You tell me if anything changes,” he said.
“I will.”
He leaned down and kissed me. Slowly, in the same careful way he’d kissed me that morning at the cabin, measuring the temperature of it, making sure I was with him. I was. Both my hands came up and gripped his shirt.
He made a low sound and pulled back just enough to look at me. Then he sat beside me on the edge of the bed, turning toward me, his thumb tracing the line of my jaw.
“Lie back,” he said softly.
I did.
He came down beside me, not over me yet, just next to me, his weight settling on the mattress.
He kissed me again, deeper this time, one hand sliding into my hair to cradle the back of my head.
I turned toward him, and he shifted, moving over me slowly, his forearm going to the mattress beside my head to take his weight.
He stopped. “Still with me?” Low and unhurried.
“Yes.” I meant it completely.
He searched my face in the dim light, not rushing it. Looking for hesitation because he wanted to be certain.
I reached up and touched the side of his face. “I’m here,” I said. “Right here with you.”
He turned his face briefly into my palm, lips brushing my wrist, then he kissed me again.
He was thorough in the way he was thorough about everything.
Patient and focused, hands moving over me, warm and steady.
He paused with every new thing, watching my face, and reading what he found there.
I’d expected to flinch at some point. I’d expected the old fear to surface, the one that lived in my chest since that basement, the way those men had looked at me, the things I’d understood without anyone having to say them out loud.
It didn’t come.
What was here instead was warmth. His weight. His hands on my skin like something I’d chosen, rather than something happening to me. That made all the difference.
When I reached for his shirt, wanting it gone, he sat up and pulled it over his head without hesitation. I let myself look, taking in the strong muscles that made him dangerous, but not to me. Never to me.
He came back over me. “Still okay?”
“Daddy,” I said. “I’m going to need you to scale that back just a little bit.”
The corner of his mouth moved. “A little,” he agreed.
“A little will work.”
“Good,” he said. “Because I’m not going to stop entirely, baby. Your comfort matters to me.”
He kissed down my throat, my collarbone, unhurried.
I closed my eyes and let it happen instead of bracing for it.
He worked the rest of our clothes away carefully, pausing each time, checking in with a look or a held stillness, waiting for me to lean in before continuing.
He never made me feel like a problem to be navigated.
He made me feel like someone worth being careful with.
He paused for a second, then reached into the drawer on the side of the bed and pulled out a condom and a bottle of lube. “See, I told you Julius and Mika did good.”
He rolled on the condom and covered it with lube. He took a few minutes to get me ready for him before entering me slowly, giving me plenty of time to adjust, but after what seemed like an eternity, he was finally deep inside my body.
“Good?” he murmured, lips at my temple.
“Yeah.” My voice came out softer than I meant it to. “Really good.”
He pressed his forehead to mine, and we moved together in a rhythm that built slowly, expanding until it felt too large to stay contained. I held onto him as he thrust in all the way and pulled out slowly before pushing back in again, each time a little harder than the last.
I reached down and began to jerk on my cock in rhythm with his movements.
The whole experience was intense, so I knew I wouldn’t last long, but when my orgasm washed over me, it was unlike anything I’d ever felt before.
It was like I’d broken into a thousand little pieces, but at the same time, it left me calm and more settled than I’d felt in longer than I could account for.
He followed me over the edge, and then he gathered me against his chest and held me there. A long breath went out of both of us at the same time.
We stayed like that until both our heartbeats slowed to a normal cadence.
“Daddy,” I said finally, against his shoulder.
“Mm.”
“I really did sleep better with you there.” I paused. “In case you needed another reason to stay.”
He laughed, quiet and low, the sound moving through his chest under my cheek. “Already noted,” he said. His arm tightened around me. “Get some sleep.”