Chapter 17
Elara
Most evenings, dinner was a quiet occasion, the conversation mainly small talk. Tonight, current political affairs were the main topic of discussion. Thatcher and Gwen sat alongside Cai, while his mother had dinner separately.
“Argon signed a treaty swearing peace between our two kingdoms after the war.” Thatcher leaned back in his dining chair with a crease between his eyebrows.
“Thatcher, you know as well as I that treaties are made and broken.” Cai had his hands folded on the table. He’d barely touched his food. I realised that, in the past few days, he hadn’t done a lot of eating or sleeping. Dark circles ringed his eyes, accompanied by an ever-present faraway look on his face. He looked exhausted, and quite frankly, I would have been lying if I said I wasn’t a little worried.
“And why do you think Aries would consider breaking the peace treaty?” Gwen took a sip of wine.
Cai crossed his arms, looking down at his plate. “There is news that Aries has been growing his army and talking about military campaigns. We have to consider every possibility.”
I, of course, had never met King Aries. But I hadn’t heard anything good about him either. If the news was true, then it was no wonder Cai had been so worried and preoccupied since I’d arrived. I took a bite of my dinner, listening to the conversation.
My eyes didn’t waver from Cai. Even with his worried expression, he still somehow managed to look quite handsome. Eventually my gaze seemed to draw his attention.
He looked at me almost inquisitively and I decided to continue my stare without remorse. Daring to do what I would have never previously had the courage to — which I blamed only on the expensive Norrandish wine — I lightly knocked my foot against his under the table.
Cai bit his lip, trying to hold back a smile. Thatcher was saying something to him, but I could tell from his expression that he wasn’t listening.
“Do you believe King Aries intends another attempt at conquering Norrandale, Your Majesty?” Gwen drew his attention back to the conversation.
“It’s too soon to tell,” Cai replied. “We cannot act based on the assumption that he would do that.” His gaze returned to me. “What do you think, Queen Elara?”
All the eyes shifted to me. I jerked my foot back from his leg. Why on earth would he ask me a question he knew I had never considered? There was a mischievous look on his face.
“I, uhm,” I stammered. “I really don’t think I know enough about King Aries to make an educated remark.” It was the best thing I could have said without making a fool of myself. I could already feel the heat pulsing in my face, as if my body was preparing itself for the embarrassment it knew was coming.
“I hope King Aries hasn’t grown arrogant regarding the matter,” Thatcher spoke up again. “Taking on the king of Norrandale is one thing but if Norrandale and Everness are united, we are considering a whole new situation.”
I hadn’t even considered it. I’d been so preoccupied with what Cai’s union would do in my own kingdom, I hadn’t thought about the fact that Norrandale’s enemies would now be my enemies too. And the last thing I needed was a longer list of enemies. Was this something I needed to discuss with Lance? How had I grown so unconfident in my own choices over the last few months, second guessing myself around every corner?
Regardless, I should probably let Lance and the council know that if we were to go through with the alliance, Norrandale already carried the potential risk of hostility with the kingdom of Argon. But if they were aware that alliance came with risk, would they baulk and oppose it?
“Maybe that’s exactly why Aries is growing his army,” Gwen responded. “He could fear the opposition it would pose to Argon.”
I took the napkin from the table and dabbed the sides of my mouth. “My apologies, but I think I’m going to retire early this evening.” I stood up from the table. Cai seemed surprised. Did I spot a hint of disappointment in his expression?
“Good night, Your Majesty.” Both Thatcher and Gwen bade me farewell. I left the dining room, my footsteps echoing on the tiled floors before I reached the carpeted hallways.
Halfway back to my room, I let out a yawn, feeling tired and sleepy. Too much wine. The more I thought about it, the more my bed with its silken sheets and soft pillows called out to me.
There were sudden footsteps behind me, and I barely had time to look around before Cai pulled me into the nearest room, which happened to be the library.
“Cai, what are you—?” He didn’t give me time to finish my sentence, kissing me with surprising intensity. All sense and dignity forgotten, I grabbed onto him as he pulled us taut against each other. My hands were in his hair, my arms wrapped around his shoulders.
He walked us into one of the bookshelves and I let out a yelp.
Cai pulled back with a worried expression.
I let out a chuckle and took out the book that had protruded from the shelf just far enough to press into my back.
“Just a book spine.” I tossed the book somewhere and pulled his mouth to mine.
Cai’s hands ran up my sides and I tilted my head back as he kissed my neck.
Heat and something I couldn’t name coursed through my body with every breath. Cai had never kissed me like this before. Flashes of my dream about him slipped through the pathways of my memory. His mouth pressed a kiss to my collarbone before he made his way back to my lips.
“I should go back,” he whispered between torturous kisses.
“Shut up,” I breathed out, and I felt Cai grin against my skin.
“Your wish is my command, Your Majesty.” His kisses slowed, grew soft and sweet. More than anything, I just wanted him near me. There was no denying the sense of safety I felt when we were this close. And as much as I hated to admit it, it was all-consuming. It consumed my mind and my body and the very core of all my senses.
Cai’s hands were on my hips, my lower back, pulling me closer still. I held on to his neck, ran my hands over his strong shoulders. I couldn’t fathom how someone or something could be so compelling. I had forgotten where I was on my way to before, why I was on my way there, and I was pretty damn close to forgetting my own name.
My leg lifted to wrap around Cai’s waist, but the skirts of my dress made it nearly impossible.
Cai’s lips didn’t stray from mine as his hand found its way underneath the heavy material. His fingers started their journey from my ankle to where my stocking ended just above my knee.
As if he had all the time in the world, Cai delicately took hold of the stocking and pulled it down. My entire leg was now exposed to the library as he pulled my skirts up, but I didn’t care at all, not even while knowing that someone could walk into the room at any moment.
Cai’s fingers dug into my thigh as I let out what must have been a gasp. My hands rested on his cheeks, which had a day or two’s worth of scruff.
Part of me found it difficult to comprehend that I was in the library of Mistwood Palace, fighting to catch my breath while the King of Norrandale caressed my upper leg. And I had no complaints at all.
Cai’s mouth moved to my neck again and I would have been content to stay like that for ever. He pressed long kisses from my jawline down to my faded birthmark, where he lingered, allowing his teeth to graze my skin.
Something sounding like my name came from his mouth before he kissed me again, parting my lips. My hands were in his hair again as his fingers continued to trail up and down my thigh, teasing me relentlessly.
He pulled away from my mouth for a moment so that he could shift my skirts, lifting my other leg so that both were now wrapped around his waist.
A sigh of delight escaped me as he pressed our bodies together against the books.
There was a sudden knock on the door and a moment of silence before we heard Jack’s voice. “Your Majesty, I’m afraid I require your presence immediately.”
“I’m going to kill him.”
Cai’s breath was warm against me as I tried not to think about how Jack knew exactly where we were and most likely what we were doing.
I let out an uncomfortable chuckle and he gently set me back down.
“I’m coming now, Jack!”
My chest heaved and I wondered how I was ever going to breathe normally again.
“I’m so sorry. But I have to see what it’s about.” Cai apologised while attempting to help me fix my stocking and skirts.
“It’s fine, really.” My mind slowly returned to reality, asking me what the hell I thought I was doing.
He gave me another soft kiss before leaving me alone in the library, still trying to compose myself.
* * *
A few days later I received a letter from Everness while readying myself for the day. I anxiously tore open the envelope .
Sister dearest,
I rolled my eyes and shook my head at Lance’s cursive handwriting. He always did have a flair for the dramatic.
You’ll be pleased to know that I am in excellent health and spirits.
Which could only mean he was drunk on spirits. I’d been relieved when the messenger arrived with Lance’s letter. But I should have known he wouldn’t be able to take it seriously. After a whole paragraph of talking about himself, he informed me that matters were still in hand in Everness... for now, anyway. Though the council wasn’t overly fond of his regency, Lance had been a monarch a lot longer than I had, and he always knew exactly which strings to pull to keep people just content enough. Many rumours were going around about the possible alliance with Norrandale and a lot of them were quite hopeful. No pressure for me. I placed the letter down and looked at Anesta.
“Good news?”
“Well, Lance hasn’t burned down the palace yet.”
“I sense a but, Your Majesty.”
“But,” I confirmed her theory, “that doesn’t mean he still can’t. Above all, Lance only has his own interests in mind, and he’ll only help me as long as it serves him.”
“On a more positive subject.” She held up two dresses: one of light blue and another of a pale cream colour. “Which dress is the Queen of Everness going to wear for her birthday?”
“I was really hoping we could keep the whole birthday thing quiet.”
Which was my polite way of begging her not to make a big deal out of it.
She dropped her arms with slight disappointment. “Why? Birthdays are the best day of the year. And you’re queen now. The whole court should be celebrating and feasting.”
With my past, there were many reasons why birthdays weren’t the best days of the year. Though Uncle Arthur had kept track every year, there were no presents or cakes or any form of celebration. Instead, he would use it as an opportunity to measure my skillset as a bandit, claiming every year that I had to be better, more skilled, quicker, smarter than the last. Sometimes Ray would give me a birthday gift. He was always a better hunter, tracker and provider for the clan than he was a thief. But every now and then there would be a little trinket or extra food, which he must have got from somewhere.
“I have too many other things to think about today. And if I’m lucky, no one else will find out that it’s my birthday.”
“You mean we are not going to do anything special, Your Majesty?” Anesta was clearly not pleased.
“How did you find out about my birthday anyway?”
“Lance told me before we left. He said that we might still be here by today and that I should make sure we have some cake, which, by the way, I have been looking forward to all week.” She sent a disapproving look my way.
Of course Lance would know when my birthday was. I hadn’t even thought about it or the fact that he was there the day I was born. He’d been celebrating on my birthday every year with Eloisa. The thought left a knot in my stomach. I hoped Ray would find her soon. Or maybe I didn’t. I honestly didn’t know anymore.
I sighed, knowing there was little value in arguing with Anesta. “If it makes you happy, I’ll wear the cream-coloured dress.”
* * *
“Happy birthday, Elara.” The voice behind me halted my steps through the throne room.
I pressed my lips together, turning around.
“Thank you,” I said to Cai, with as much of a smile as I could muster. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to find Rhen—”
“Wait.” He took hold of my hand. His hand was warm and immediately created a mental picture of where his hands were while we were in the library. “I have a gift for you.”
“Cai, that really isn’t necessary.”
“Of course it is. You’re the Queen of Everness now. We should be hosting a ball in your honour.”
I knew he meant well, but the thought alone made my stomach churn.
“I’d really we rather not.”
“At least say you’ll accept my gift.” He looked so genuinely excited that I couldn’t help but smile. “Close your eyes and hold out your hand.”
I raised a curious eyebrow.
“Just trust me.”
I obeyed and felt cool metal against my skin.
“All right, open them.”
“Your dagger?” The one I’d wanted to steal on the night we’d first met.
“Well, you tried to steal it so many times that I figured you’ve earned it.”
My heart surged. The memories were still so vivid and yet they felt like a lifetime ago.
“Cai, you love this dagger. I can’t accept this.” I held my hands out towards him, but he closed my fingers around the knife.
“I want you to have it, Elara.”
I couldn’t help but notice the beautiful sparkling jewel that looked so similar to the one on that necklace. Had it always been there?
“Thank you.” I held on to the dagger like it was the most precious thing I’d ever owned. Perhaps it was.
“I have one more surprise.”
“Cai, please,” I pleaded.
“Come on.” He laughed and pulled me after him. I really needed to see Rhen to discuss Lance’s letter. But Cai’s childlike excitement was enough to convince me. I let him drag me all the way to the kitchens, with servants stumbling and bowing every few seconds in surprise at seeing their king on the lower levels of the palace. It reminded me of a time not so long ago, though it felt like ages, when we ran through the forest of Everness, unaware of how much would change.
Is it possible for us ever to have that again?
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see. I figured there would be hell to pay if I made a big scene in front of everyone at court.” He gestured with his head to the upper floors. We entered the kitchens, where Anesta stood at one of the large tables in the centre of the room. Brutus, whom I had not seen since the rebellion, was standing next to her. A few other servants were in the kitchen, though they pretended to ignore us respectfully.
“Surprise, Your Majesty!” Anesta held out her arms to a small cake on the table. The cake had been decorated with little colourful flowers that I recognised from Everness.
“Did you make this, Brutus?”
He nodded almost shyly.
“Thank you.”
Cai handed me a large cutting knife.
“You shouldn’t have.”
“I know.” He winked at me. “But I wanted to.”
Anesta forced me to blow out the candles before cutting the cake. It was dense chocolate and perhaps the best thing I’d ever eaten in my life. In that moment, with the group of us standing around the cake, I could almost forget everything else.
* * *
“King Cai won’t be able to keep his hands off you tonight,” Anesta said. I met her gaze in the mirror as she gently placed a tiara atop my head.
“Do you think so?” I raised a recently trimmed eyebrow. Anesta insisted that one doesn’t go to royal events with uneven eyebrows and therefore thought it appropriate to attack me with a small pair of metal tweezers. The act was mostly a combination of her telling me to sit still and me yelling “ow!” with each hair she removed from my face.
“I know so,” she replied. “You’ll be the most beautiful queen he’s ever seen.”
I proceeded to tilt my face side to side, inspecting the reflection as if not quite believing her words. I had managed to convince Cai not to have a ball on the evening of my birthday but rather a few days after. That way I could at least pretend it had nothing to do with me.
“Everyone’s been urging Cai to throw a ball, but now that it’s happening, I feel like I’m going to be sick.” I groaned.
There was a soft knock on my chamber doors before Cordelia strolled in. Her eyes widened at the sight of me. “Your Majesty, you look beautiful.”
I stood up from the dressing table and swished my skirts from side to side. “Thank you.”
“I must say, I’m proud of my work.” Anesta placed her hands on her hips in satisfaction, and I grinned. The silk dress cascaded down my body in waves of blue. The bodice was tight and flattering, my sleeves of a see-through material.
“Do you know if Lady Meredette will be there tonight?” I dared to ask Cordelia, who seemed to know everything about everyone at court.
She hesitated for a moment, and I noticed her jaw clench.
“What is it, Cordelia?”
“Not only will Lady Meredette be there but it turns out she is close friends with Lady Delany, who has also been invited.”
Lady Delany who’d been betrothed to Cai since they were children and ended up marrying his cousin. The woman Cai’s family actually wanted him to marry.
“Delightful,” I muttered.
“Come now, Your Majesty.” Anesta placed a hand on my shoulder. “Surely you’re not jealous or intimidated by her?”
“Why would I be jealous?” I pretended to inspect my reflection again. “Cai only used to be in love with her.”
“His Majesty was a boy back then. He didn’t even know what love was.” Cordelia tried to reassure me.
I squared my shoulders. “It doesn’t matter anyway. I need his throne, not his heart.”
Anesta smiled, and I sent a look her way.
“You keep telling yourself that, Queen Elara.” Cordelia linked her arm with mine and led me out into the hallway.
The ballroom was lit with a thousand candles hanging from the chandeliers illuminating every corner of the room. The orchestra plucked at their stringed instruments while ballgowns of every colour swished across the recently polished floors.
I lifted the hems of my dress while ascending the few stairs that led into the ballroom. My eyes scanned all the faces until they landed on a tall figure with broad shoulders and an unruly head of blond locks.
Cai was as finely dressed as ever, in his black polished boots and blue tunic.
As if he felt my gaze, his head turned away from the conversation he’d been having with one of the court’s council members. Those deep green eyes met mine for a moment before a smile spread across his lips. Cai turned back to the gentleman and gave what I presumed was an apology before he started making his way across the ballroom floor.
He met me when I reached the final step.
“Elara, you’re—”
“Beautiful, ravishing, exquisite?” My nerves forced me into a sense of teasing.
“And shockingly humble too.” Cai grinned while holding out his hand. He led me to the other side of the room, towards the refreshments, while having to stop every two seconds for someone who wanted to greet him. Still, Cai didn’t once show a hint of agitation. He patiently engaged in every conversation.
“You’re astoundingly popular, Your Majesty,” I told him when we finally reached the table filled with refreshments.
“I’m fortunate to have grown up close to my friends and family. Though I suppose in some ways this resulted in them raising me as the king they wanted me to be,” he said, with a hint of disdain.
I wanted to ask him if this was a bad thing, but a servant stepped in front of us with a wine jug and asked Cai if he would like some.
“This is George, my wine steward.” Cai introduced him to me while I politely declined his offer of pouring me a glass.
“Is this from the new vineyard?” Cai asked after taking a sip.
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
“It’s lovely, thank you.”
George bowed before moving on to the other courtiers.
“You have a wine steward? I don’t have a wine steward.”
“That’s because Lance would drink him out of his job,” Cai joked.
“Don’t tease. I’m trying to get him to sober up.”
“How very noble of you.”
I let out a heavy sigh. “You’re telling me.”
Cai held the glass towards me, and I gave in, taking a small sip. It was good wine. Even I could tell with my spectacular lack of knowledge of the subject.
“George was employed by my father. Norrandale has a good climate for winemaking. The man takes a lot of pride in his art. Who am I to take that away from him?”
I nodded in understanding, my eyes darting across the room, over all the unfamiliar faces, until they landed on two that I recognised.
“I see Thatcher has taken quite a liking to Lady Anesta.”
Cai noted the direction of my gaze as I handed him back the glass. Thatcher and Anesta were in close proximity, her cheeks wildly tinted red while she twirled her hair in a flirtatious manner.
“Although from what I’ve heard, Thatcher takes a liking to just about every woman he sees.”
“You’re not entirely wrong,” Cai replied with a slight grimace.
“You need to tell your friends to lay off my ladies-in-waiting. At this rate, I won’t have any left.”
I took the wine glass from his hand without asking and indulged myself with another sip.
“Is that resentment I sense in your tone?”
“Of course not. I’m very happy for Cordelia and Jack.”
“But?”
“But I miss her sometimes. She was my friend. And even if things did get... complicated near the end, she was good for me.”
“I’ll tell you what, if Thatcher should make any serious advancements towards Anesta, I’ll make sure they stay at court so she can remain your lady-in-waiting.”
“I appreciate it. But I wouldn’t want to stand in the way of someone’s happiness.”
“I wouldn’t be too concerned, though. Thatcher is quite fond of the drama here and isn’t likely to leave anyway,” he reassured me. “In fact, he might have spent more time at court than I have.”
Cai reached for the wine glass but I pulled my hand back.
“I thought you didn’t want anything to drink?”
“That was before I tasted George’s talent.”
Cai shook his head with a slight smile, before his expression changed. I looked towards where he was staring, at the entrance to the ballroom.
“It’s my cousin, the Duke of Orrington.” There wasn’t a hint of loathing in his voice. In fact, he seemed quite eager to greet the duke. And next to him, an angel made woman. The duchess had long waves of golden hair and a bright, warming smile. She seemed to radiate elegance and grace as the couple made their way across the room.
Behind them, Lady Meredette also had a gentleman at her side. Though it seemed her only interest was in pretending he didn’t exist as her eyes scanned the ballroom.
“Charlie!” Cai called out and greeted the duke.
“Please, cousin, will you never refrain from calling me Charlie when you know I prefer Charles?”
“Well, I need to keep you humble in some way.” Cai chuckled, inclining his head to the duke’s wife. “Delany.” She bowed with that same warm smile at the sound of her name.
Cai placed his hand on the small of my back and pulled me closer. “May I introduce Queen Elara of Everness.”
“Your Majesty,” both of them said, and I watched the duchess slip into a deep curtsy. “It’s an honour to finally meet you,” she met my gaze. Even her eyes looked like they sparkled. How was it possible for someone to be so beautiful and charming? It made me want to hate her, while wishing I was her at the same time.
“I’ve heard much about you,” I replied, and her expression faltered, though she tried to hide it. Did I sense nervousness? How could I make someone nervous when I was the one intimidated by every person in this room? Perhaps I would never get used to my title.
“All good, I hope,” Charles chose to reply.
“Of course. Cai only ever speaks fondly of his family.”
“I simply adore your necklace, Your Majesty.” At first, I was unsure whether or not to wear the necklace that actually belonged to Cai’s family but it looked so beautiful with the dress Anesta had picked out and I seemed to have Cai’s grandmother’s permission to wear it for the most part.
“Thank you.” I looked down at the sparkling jewels. “It was a gift.”
I met Cai’s eyes as I said the words and he gave me a knowing grin.
“I’ve never seen its equal,” Delany continued. “It’s practically glowing.”
“It must be all the candlelight.” I shrugged it off, but my eyes glanced down at the jewelled necklace, nonetheless. A strange feeling settled in my stomach, which I blamed on nerves.
“Do you intend to stay at court?” Cai asked his cousin.
“Perhaps for a few days. I don’t want to be away from the estate for too long. We have quite a few hunts arranged.” Charles shrugged.
“You must come hunt with me on the palace grounds sometime.” Cai’s hand didn’t move away from my back. Instead, his thumb started making idle circles. I tried not to shiver.
“I’ll come as soon as I am invited, cousin.” The duke had a dashing smile.
“Matters at court have been keeping me busy,” Cai apologised. “But we must arrange something soon.”
“If you’ll excuse us.”
They both bowed again before going to greet their other acquaintances.
When Cai didn’t say anything for a long time, my own nerves rose. I wished I knew what was going on in that mind of his. “You know, I didn’t look forward to tonight, but this is actually very pleasant.”
“I know a ball seems frivolous and unnecessary with everything that’s going on, but I feel like we all needed one night where we don’t have to make important decisions. One night where we don’t have to feel guilty for enjoying ourselves.”
“You’re too hard on yourself.” I turned to better face him. He didn’t notice my stare as he continued to look out towards the crowd.
He had to have been the most handsome man I’d ever seen. Just by looking at him it was as if I could feel his mouth on me again, the way he held me in the library. We’d not had a proper chance to be alone since, or to discuss how this affected our relationship or the alliance. Maybe it was the wine or the built-up stress from the past few weeks, but I couldn’t help myself any longer. I pressed up next to him, my head leaning on his shoulder. I just wanted to feel him near me.
“Would you like to dance, Queen Elara?” His voice was soft enough that only I could hear.
But I shook my head. “No, I just want to stay right here with you.”
“Afraid you’ll embarrass yourself on the dance floor?”
“Oh, I think we both know I’ll embarrass myself on the dance floor.” I felt him smile into my hair.
I straightened when a servant approached us with a tray of wine. This time, it wasn’t George himself. Feeling bad for having stolen Cai’s glass, I took one off the tray and handed it to him.
“You know, I think Lady Meredette will be deadly disappointed if you don’t ask her for a dance tonight.” I tried to find her in the sea of people. “She’s probably been the person most excited for this ball.” I could no longer spot her or her escort in the crowd.
But Cai didn’t reply. I jolted as glass shattered on the floor next to me.
“Cai?”
He remained expressionless, his face deathly pale.
“Cai?” I said again, with more panic, and then he dropped to the ground.
I must have screamed something, but I was kneeling next to him when the servants and the guards rushed over in a sudden frenzy.
I was pushed out of the way as his attendants tried to help him. Someone shouted that the king had been poisoned.
* * *
I sat next to Cai’s bed while the physician examined him.
“It’s definitely poison.”
My foot tapped on the carpeted floor and I clenched a fist.
“Can you determine what kind?”
Cai’s mother had been in the room when the physician arrived but was now pacing in the hall outside, talking with servants to try to track down the perpetrator. I could hardly sit still myself, but I didn’t dare take my eyes off him.
“Based on its immediate effect, it narrows it down to a possible few, but as I cannot be certain, it will be difficult to give him the correct antidote.” It wasn’t what I wanted to hear.
“Can’t you do anything in the meantime?”
The physician nodded. “I can try, Your Majesty. But unfortunately, I cannot promise any results.”
He hurried out of the room — I presumed to the infirmary.
Cai looked like he was sleeping peacefully, but with every minute, his breathing became shallower and the pounding in my heart increased to the point where I could feel it thumping in my ears.
The doorknob turned and I looked up.
“How is he doing, Your Majesty?” Jack asked, and I shook my head.
He walked over, his expression of distress showing through the mask of calm he tried to keep up.
“It’s my fault. If I hadn’t taken his glass, he wouldn’t have—” I trailed off, my eyes watering.
Jack placed a hand on my shoulder. It wasn’t protocol, but it was as if we both knew I needed the comfort. “If anyone is to blame, it’s me. I don’t even know how the assassin got in the palace in the first place.”
He looked at Cai. “I failed him.”
“No, Jack, you can’t think like that,” I said, though I knew my words wouldn’t change his mind. Wouldn’t change my own mind from feeling like I’d failed Cai.
I sniffed and Jack handed me a handkerchief. “I’m afraid,” I admitted. “What are we going to do?” I asked because I genuinely had no idea. Because I desperately needed an answer.
“Hope for a miracle.” Jack stood back, regaining his soldier’s posture. “I hate to leave but there are matters that need my attention now. That man needs to be tracked down. I have to go and do my duty and you have to do yours.”
“Which is?”
He looked at me sincerely. “Taking care of Cai, Your Majesty. You’re the only one who can.” I knew he didn’t mean the words literally, but I appreciated his faith in me. I nodded and Jack departed, leaving me and Cai alone.
With my hands still clutching his, I tried to hold myself together, refusing to believe that this was the end of the line.
“Listen to me, Cai. You’re not going to die on me. Do you hear me? I won’t allow you to abandon me.”
I shifted my position to sit next to him on the bed, one hand holding his and the other on his cheek. He was hot with fever.
“You still have a long life ahead of you. Your kingdom needs you to be their king. Your family needs you.” I sucked in a breath. “I need you.”
The doors burst open and the physician rushed in with a small bottle in his hand.
“How long until it takes effect?” I asked while he administered the antidote.
“There is no telling, as I can’t guarantee its success.”
“All right, you can leave us.”
He bowed before exiting the room.
So I sat and I waited.
I waited into the long hours of the night.
And when Cai’s fever got higher, I called for a pitcher of cold water and a cloth that I could hold against his skin when I wasn’t holding his hand.
His mother sat there for a few hours too and then went to check on Jack’s progress identifying the assassin and then back to pacing in the hall. Still too weak to wait up the entire night, she told me she would get a few hours of rest and then return to check on Cai again.
My dress began to grow uncomfortable, and as I shifted the skirts, Cai’s birthday present fell out of the pocket. I felt better carrying it by my side but had forgotten about it with the events of the night.
I picked the dagger up from the floor and delicately turned it in my hands.
“This dagger got us into so much trouble, didn’t it?” I couldn’t help but let a smile form at the memories. My thumb brushed over the new jewel that had been embedded in the hilt. There was no denying it looked exactly like the jewels in the necklace. It was a beautiful gift.
I placed the dagger in his hand, covering it with my own. “Do you remember the night in the tavern when you insisted on sharing the room and I was so infuriated?” I managed a small grin. “It was the night I found out you were a prince.” I rubbed my thumb over his hand.
“Come back to me,” I whispered into the deathly quiet room. “Please come back.” A single, rogue tear ran down my cheek. Every memory of Cai flashed through my mind. Every smile he’d given me, every caress, every kind word. My heart ached at the thought of never experiencing any of it again.
I sat for hours with our hands linked like that. Every second seemed to go by slower than the last. The candles in the room burned out, one by one, and I didn’t call for a servant to relight them. I sat until my head started to grow heavy, and I eventually fell asleep, half draped over the bed, next to Cai.
Dawn approached with its light and birdsong when something woke me. Not something: movement.
I held my breath as I watched and waited.
And it happened again.
Cai’s hand moved in mine. I swallowed hard.
“Cai?”
The world stood still in that moment in Cai’s room where I held on to him as if I was holding on to dear life itself.
His grip tightened slightly.
And then his eyes opened. His movements were slow and uncertain, and I had to keep myself from crying out in relief. His forehead still gleamed with a little sweat, but although the colour had yet to return to his cheeks, his breathing wasn’t as laboured as before.
“Elara?” he croaked, and I resisted the urge to wrap my arms around him.
“You’re okay,” I promised, though I had no form of confirmation. “You’re going to be okay.”