36. Chapter 33
Chapter 33
The Fae may be stronger than you. They may have powers you can’t dream of having, but they are still just as dependent on their skills as you are. An Immortal who has never wielded a sword or used their powers is just as useless as a recruit. Their most important advantage is not their power. It’s their ability to be injured and heal from it in seconds to hours. I once saw a House of Steel Fae lose his entire arm. Five minutes later, he was swinging a sword again.
~Sir Alistair Hawking, Magical Combat for Humans
Maeve
The world around us is coated in white. In a meadow only a few miles from Stormhaven, Cole and I fill the air with steam as he helps me to regain my strength one painful motion at a time.
Snow flurries blow across my vision, but I ignore them. The soft crunch of my boots against icy grass is lost amid the grunts and heavy breaths. Nothing matters beyond Cole and my movements.
Cole’s eyes are hard as he stares me down. He’s not struggling to fight me like he might have two months ago. I was a better warrior before I received the Painted Crown—when I wasn’t even fully High Fae—than I am right now. Every muscle in my body knows what to do, but it’s too weak to actually do it.
Cole slows down his movements so I can train against him just like when he first started training me on the way to Draenyth. The shadow spear in my hand is blunted so I don’t seriously hurt him by accident, but I realized the very first day of training that it will be a long time before that’s a concern.
He swings at me, and I leap back, the blunted longsword getting so close to my stomach that I can feel the wind of the swing. I instinctively stab with my spear one-handed, but my strike is too weak to hit him in the chest. He bats it away and closes again, swinging at half-speed while I move at full-speed.
Just like when he was training with Darian and Lee, his movements are just a bit faster than mine. I used to keep up with him and push him to fight with full strength. Now… now I’m barely stronger than a human.
“Push harder,” he snarls. His sword comes down hard against the shaft of the shadow spear, forcing it to the ground. I let it disappear as I form another one almost instantly, but almost instantly is still slower than Cole’s next strike. He stops just as the blade touches my cheek.
The cold metal is smooth against my skin as I stare into Cole’s icy blue eyes. There’s an intensity to him I don’t remember from our training on our walk to Draenyth. He’s serious with me now.
I take a deep breath and step back. “We knew this was going to be hard,” I say. “But this… How did I ever get stronger before?”
Cole eyes me as I try to catch my breath, my lungs burning from exertion and the cold as if he was using his flames. “You’re trying to regrow muscles that took a lifetime to build. You may be an Immortal, and you may wear the Painted Crown, but you lost half your body weight while you healed. This is expected.”
I shake my head. It can’t be. I can’t take this long to heal. “Every day I spend rebuilding my body, Gethin is learning to use the Burning Brand and whatever other relics he’s found. We’re trying to get back to where we were before the Nothing took my Da.” Only the slightest bit of sadness passes through me at the thought of him.
I miss him, but more than anything, I’m glad I had those three days with him.
“Again,” Cole says, and my muscles reject the idea.
I lift my hand, my arm shaking just to hold the spear up. My body doesn’t want to function at all, much less fight someone so much stronger. I’m struggling to stand up, but when Cole attacks, my body reacts. The pain doesn’t matter except that my muscles refuse to move like they should.
I hold the spear in both hands and twist it to block his chop. My grip shakes, but it holds as his blade rings against the shadow. I know I should counterattack, and I sidestep to create better geometry between us, my spear reaching out to his outstretched arm. Instead of pulling away, he slams the blade of his sword down on the tip of the spear, knocking it down and away. I was too slow, and he rushes me, closing the distance between us and making my weapon useless.
I try to retreat, to maintain the distance, but I trip when my leg doesn’t move as far as I expect it to, and I fall backward. I do my best to pull it into a roll as I have so many times in the past, but when I stand up, Cole’s blade comes down to touch my shoulder at my collarbone. “Dead,” he breathes.
I nod and step back again. “That’s enough,” he says. “Now you need to eat. I have to talk to Aric, so you get to go eat with Darian.”
And his eyes drift to my breasts as I take deep breaths, and there’s a flicker of orange in those icy blue eyes. I can’t help but feel a warmth flow through me when he looks at me like that. Like he’s ready to consume me.
“Eat with Darian? I thought he didn’t want to see anyone?”
Cole huffs. “He doesn’t, and I don’t care. You need to eat, and he…he needs someone to be near him. He certainly doesn’t want me around, but I think he’d tolerate you.” Cole pauses for a moment before letting out a sigh. “Darian’s not doing well, Maeve. Lee’s been gone for months now. The longest they had ever been apart was a few days before this. They’re twins, and they’ve done everything together. Now, Lee’s doing the most dangerous thing she’s ever done, and Darian just has to wait for her to finish. He’s a mess, verging on utter despair. He’s terrified his sister won’t come back.”
“I had a feeling it was going to be bad, but I guess I didn’t think that she’d be gone for so long. I wonder what’s taking so long.”
Cole shrugs. “Nothing she’s said has been very definitive. I think she’s having a hard time finding leads, which isn’t all that surprising. Sylphs are notoriously difficult to track, and Vesta was your mother’s handmaid. She’s the best, so if she doesn’t want to be found, Lee’s going to have a hard time.”
I nod and look past Cole. I know how Darian feels. “I’ll try to help him perk up a little.”
“You worry about eating enough. You have muscles to grow. Darian will feel better just being around you. You’ve always been able to make him smile, and that’s one of the most important things missing in his life right now. He feels like there’s nothing good.”
I definitely know that feeling. “I think I can make him laugh a little. Or at least entertain him. Don’t worry.”
Cole just chuckles as he walks toward me. “Just make sure you eat enough. And not only chocolate.”
My eyes gleam. I’d almost forgotten how much better Darian eats than Cole. “Right. Not just chocolate.”
Then I take his hand, and we’re falling through the world.
Darian has always been a little unkempt. He’s never worried about brushing his hair or making sure that his clothes were ironed. This is worse than I’d expected..
He looks beaten down. His eyes are puffy and red. His clothes are so uncared for that he looked cleaner when we were walking from Aerwyn to Draenyth.
When he opens his door and sees me, all he says is “Oh, right. We’re supposed to eat.” No jokes about not visiting him. No excitement about what we’re going to eat. He is decidedly not the man that has made me laugh since the day I met him.
“Yes, we are,” I say, pushing my way into his chambers. “So go put on something that doesn’t make you smell like a goat. That may be fine when you’re pretending to be a House of Steel guard, but it would look bad if you smelled worse than the humans.”
His eyebrow rises. “The Wyrdling has jokes.”
“Ex-Wyrdling. Now go get dressed.” I say it with a smile, but there’s an edge to it.
He hesitates for a moment, and then his resistance fades. He shrugs and walks into his bedroom. The chambers that are basically the same as mine and Cole’s are… I don’t know the right word. They’re not dirty. Maids have come in and cleaned the rooms. There’s no dust. There aren’t any plates with food on them or empty goblets.
It’s just all uncared for. The chair at his desk isn’t pushed in. A corner of a rug is flipped over. There are dozens of tiny little things that are wrong, things that Darian would normally have fixed without thinking.
I sigh and shake my head. He’s hurting so badly, and there’s nothing I can really do to help him feel better. His sister is risking her life, and he’s unable to help her.
Even more than a married couple, Darian and Lee have shared their entire lives. There is no inside joke the other doesn’t know. There is nothing they’ve ever really experienced without the other.
Until now. I don’t blame Darian for struggling. Lee’s been a part of his life since before birth. He doesn’t know how to live without her near him.
“Is this more acceptable?” he asks as he steps out in a mostly clean, deep blue tunic and matching pants. They’ve been embroidered with forest green vines and leaves and are obviously only something that one of the wealthiest humans would wear. Uncle Trevor definitely wouldn’t have owned anything that intricate.
Yet, it’s still wrinkled. It’s still makes him look sloppy. “One day, I’m going to find someone to take care of your clothing for you, Darian. Until then, that will work.”
He actually gives me a smile after that comment. “I just don’t see the point of it. They’re just clothes. Why do they need to look a certain way?”
I give him a grin and shake my head just a little. “I don’t know. They’re just supposed to.” I look down at the dress that’s so simple compared to the midnight one made of pure shadows that I normally wear. This one is a gorgeous red silk that flows smoothly over my body and looks like it’s made for me.
But nothing can compare to my woven shadows.
“Well, what are we eating today?” he asks, seeming to perk up just a little. Darian’s always been very food motivated.
I shrug. “I thought we’d just go to the market and see what we can find. That way, we can have a little bit of everything.”
Darian’s grin widens at the talk about food, and he picks up a coin purse from a table that jingles as he ties it to his belt. “There’s a woman that sells fried quail legs that are to die for.”
It’s my turn to raise an eyebrow. “I don’t know if I’ve ever had fried quail legs. I wasn’t ever very good at hunting quail, but I’m game to try them. Do you know if they have any chocolate vendors? It’s been a long time since I had any, and I’m craving it.”
Darian offers me his arm and says, “Oh, my dear Queen. They have plenty of chocolate. Though none of it compares to the chocolate at…”
I’ve helped him to liven up at least a little, but as we walk down the halls, I realize just how temporary this will be for him. There’s no way that I’m going to change the fact that the only person who’s always been with him isn’t here and is in constant danger. I can’t stop him from worrying about Lee or missing her.
All I can do is help him forget that for a moment. The best I can give him is an afternoon where the storm clouds aren’t quite as dark. Maybe it will help him. Maybe it won’t. But it’s all I can do.