Chapter 33
Rummy
Real.
All my life, I’d longed for something real. I’d pretended like my feelings were real, like my actions were real.
In reality, they were a facade. I couldn’t experience anything real because I’d created a layer of protection to protect myself. Because real was scary. Real meant the possibility of loss.
And I couldn’t bear to lose more than I already had. I sure as all fucking hells never wanted to lose Jessiah. That was a truth I had been too afraid to admit.
But there it was.
Losing him meant I’d never again be seen for who I really was, because he was the only one who’d cared enough to pull back the mask I’d worn for so long. Even when I was sure he fucking hated me, he saw me.
He fought with me so fervently because he was tired of my act, tired of the fake Rummy. Because he knew the real Rummy had been buried beneath layers of barbed words and cutting looks, all formed to protect me.
I ran a hand up his bare chest, and his muscles tensed beneath me. “This is real,” I repeated.
His lips hovered over mine, so close that we shared breaths.
“Real.”
That last vestiges of restraint left me, snapping completely like a frayed piece of string.
I pushed him back and quickly unlatched his belt with shaky hands. He helped me divest him of his trousers, his hands on mine as I lowered them down his hips before he kicked them off.
When he was as naked as I was, I gasped at the sight of him. He was massive and already hard for me. Fuck, if I wasn’t already dripping for him, I would have been now.
I pushed up onto my knees, guiding him to lay down on his back.
He hesitated at first, gripping my waist. The bastard absolutely hated giving up control. But I wanted to show him how real this was for me.
How different this was.
This wasn’t a quick fuck with a random guy after a pint of ale. This was… well, it was everything.
I pried his fingers off my skin and forced his arms to his sides. Then I moved down on the bed slowly, keeping my attention fixed on his face. He clenched his fists as I let my hair tickle his skin on my way, but when I grasped his length, he melted.
The reaction gave me the courage to continue. This was only the start of everything I wanted to give to him.
I brought my mouth down next, licking the length of him slowly.
He cursed and stammered, his words damn near incomprehensible as I ran my mouth over him again and again and again.
His thighs clenched, his abs flickered.
“Rummy,” he growled, a warning.
That only spurred me on. I dragged my tongue up his length in one long sweep then closed my lips around him and sucked him into my mouth.
His natural instinct was to buck against me, but I was ready. I pinned him down with an arm across his hips and sucked with more fervor.
Big, strong Jessiah melting beneath my mouth.
It was a glorious fucking sight.
Soon, Jessiah tensed. Certain he was close to coming, I doubled down, using my mouth and a hand to pleasure him. But instead of letting go, he gripped my shoulders and yanked my body up to his, rolling us over so he was on top.
I gasped in surprise, but he swallowed the sound, swiping his tongue along mine.
The need between my thighs grew with each passing second. I spread for him, and he settled naturally into place, the tip of him lining up with my entrance.
But rather than push inside, he continued kissing me, waiting, as if he had no problem taking his time with me.
I wasn’t so patient.
I ground my body against him, desperate to feel all of him.
“Please,” I whispered. “Please, Jessiah.”
A satisfied growl rumbled deep in his chest. “Say my name like that again, and this will be over before it even begins.”
Goddess above.
His name rolled off my tongue again and again and again, until the world disappeared, until our past disappeared, until everything but him disappeared.
And as I lay beside him drifting off to sleep, my chest welled with an emotion that I hadn’t felt in a very, very long time.
True happiness.
Huntyr and I sat on the rooftop of one of the nearby buildings, overlooking the rest of Scarlata. She didn’t ask me about my bond with Jessiah. She didn’t have to.
Now, I understood why she and Wolf were so close.
Even though Jessiah was nowhere near, I could feel him etched into my bones. He was like a scent of pine in the wind, grazing over my skin every second and occupying each of my thoughts.
Huntyr knew exactly what I was going through.
We sat in silence like that for a long, long time. Not asking questions. Not explaining anything.
Just breathing.
“You okay?” I asked after a while, nudging her with the tip of my boot.
Smiling, she turned, her black curly hair blowing in the breeze. “You’re asking me that? Aren’t you the one about to undergo an insane magical ritual?”
I shrugged, ignoring the way my throat tightened with nerves. “I’ll be fine. I always am.”
The skin around her eyes wrinkled. “You don’t have to do that, you know.”
“Do what?” The question was ridiculous, but lowering my defenses didn’t come easily to me.
“You don’t have to pretend like you’re impenetrable.”
I scoffed. “That’s a lot coming from you.”
Huntyr always put on a brave face. She was the damn blood queen, for crying out loud. Nothing passed those thick walls of hers.
The two of us were quite the pair when it came to vulnerability. After the way we grew up and the lives we’d lived, we were all but forced to become these people. We were forced to be this rigid.
She rolled her eyes but didn’t argue. “I just wish I could help you. I hate that you have to do this alone.”
“But I’m not alone,” I reminded her. “Not anymore.”
Her eyes flashed with excitement. “Right. You and Jessiah, then? When did that happen, because the last time we talked, you absolutely despised each other.”
I let out a breath. “I guess that freaky magical bond has a way of bringing out the truth.”
She laughed and leaned back onto her elbows, swinging her feet back and forth, and zeroed in on me. “That is something I can perpetually understand.”
We sat under the night sky, and I told her everything. Everything about my magic, about Jessiah, about what happened all those years ago. She listened and nodded, not once judging me. Not once telling me I was wrong or vile or cruel.
I talked until the sun started to peak over the horizon. Until there was nothing left to distract us from what lay ahead.
Before the day was over, I would inherit a portion of her magic. Wolf’s, too. And goddess knows who else’s.
I wasn’t ready for this. I wasn’t prepared.
But I kept my expression even. What I said before was true—I wasn’t alone anymore. Part of me felt stronger, more capable.
Besides, Hunt was my best friend, and she had taken on so much more than she should have to handle.
For her? I could be strong. For this kingdom she built? I would sacrifice anything.