Chapter 4
CHAPTER 4
Pilar
“I feel like my breasts are going to pop out of this dress.” I inhaled and held my breath as the designer, Katrina, zipped me up.
“You look gorgeous, honey.”
“Your dress is stunning. I look like I’m not supposed to be wearing it.” I eyed the form-fitting black gown.
“Nonsense. The minute I finish zipping you up, you’ll exhale and see it fits you like a glove.”
I didn’t want to tell her the glove was too small because I didn’t want to offend her, but it sure felt that way. The mere act of breathing made it feel like my ribs would pop out of the dress. When she dropped her hands and stepped back, I exhaled slowly. It was still tight, but…okay.
“Walk around.” Katrina waved a hand. “Get comfortable.”
“Comfortable?” I wasn’t sure that was a word I’d use while wearing this gown, but I started to walk anyway out of fear that Katrina might slap my bottom if I didn’t.
She had a grandmotherly air about her, despite being younger than my mother. It was the way her eyes assessed things, not dissimilar to the look I found in Benjamin Drake’s eyes when I peered into them. He seemed wise beyond his age, but he was older than my twenty-four years. Of course, I’d met women who were my age and already seemed to have life figured out. Some were married and beginning families. Others were starting careers. I had been coddled for so long, and under such a strict thumb, that I barely knew how to pick out what I wanted to eat at a restaurant when I went out for dinner. It was pathetic, really. It also made me nervous to go out with Benjamin without Joss to take the lead on such matters, but I needed to grow up sometime, and who better than Benjamin Drake to show me the ropes? I smiled at the thought.
“You love it, don’t you?” Katrina said.
“Yes, I do. And it fits perfectly.” I faced her with a smile.
“I told you it would.” She smiled and nodded once. “Now for the shoes.”
“Pilly, we need to—” Joss stopped talking and looked up from her phone as she walked into the room. “Oh my God, that dress is everything on you.”
“It’s pretty, right?”
“It’s perfect.” She eyed me up and down. “Ben won’t be able to take his eyes off you.”
“You think?” I asked, a squeal in my voice as I shimmied my shoulders and looked in the mirror again.
I would absolutely, positively die if Ben put the moves on me. I’d imagined it for so long that I was sure the reality would never live up to the fantasy. But there was only one way to find out.
* * * *
“You look...stunning.” Ben’s gaze raked over me ever so slowly, making me feel the heat of it over every inch of my body.
“Thank you.” I smiled. “You look pretty great yourself.”
Great was an understatement for Ben Drake in a tuxedo, but my vocabulary was weak when it came to such matters—which was jarring to me, considering I spoke several languages.
We must have stood there for a full three minutes before he chuckled and looked at the floor. He slowly brought his face up and stared through thick, dark lashes while flashing me a sexy smile. I thought my heart might stop pumping blood right then and there. Wondered if I might die before I went on a formal date with the Benjamin Drake. I would die happy though.
“You ready to go?” he asked, seeming amused.
“Yes.” I blinked. “Oh my gosh, I don’t know what’s wrong with me today.”
He smiled as if it were no big deal at all as he led me outside. We were flanked by security—both his and mine—and in that instant, I realized that there was no such thing as a normal date. Not for us. I had only been on a few of them, and they’d all been within the palace walls, so I personally wouldn’t count them as dates. Truth be told, I was the youngest twenty-something-year-old ever. Most people my age had lived, really lived. I’d only done as much as my parents allowed…which wasn’t much. I’d gone to an all-girls boarding school, an all-girls college, and when I got home, my father was dying, which shaved two more years off my life. I wouldn’t complain about it though. Not ever. I was a princess and had everything I could ever possibly want, but I didn’t have freedom. I didn’t have the love of a man. I’d had one boyfriend who was also a virgin when we met, so all of the experiences I’d had with the opposite sex were with someone who was exactly as lost as I was.
“What car are we taking?” I asked, eyeing the three vehicles in front of my villa.
One was my black Range Rover with its heavily tinted windows that Amir rented upon our arrival, another was a white Range Rover I assumed was Ben’s, and the third was a shiny Corvette that I also assumed was his. It made my heart skip a beat just thinking about climbing inside.
“We’ll take the Corvette.” He nodded at our security. “They’ll follow behind us.”
“Okay.” I exhaled shakily and ducked into the car as he opened my door for me. When he sat in the driver’s seat, I added, “I hope you’re a safe driver.”
“Oh, didn’t they tell you? I’ve been pulled over at least ten times for reckless driving.” He flashed that smile of his when my eyes widened. “Relax, Princess, I wouldn’t put you in peril. I do like my head sitting atop my shoulders.” He winked and revved the engine, the car roaring to life. I wasn’t sure if the pattering of my heart was from his wink, his smile, or this car, but I liked it.
The event was at a location ten blocks away. During the drive, Ben asked me questions about the happenings in my life (literally nothing at the moment), what I planned to do now that my brother was king (continue to serve the Crown and make more appearances on its behalf), and what I would do if I wasn’t a princess (I had absolutely no idea because no one had ever asked me that question). Needless to say, the entire conversation centered around me, and I had no idea how to put the spotlight on him. Finally, when I finished explaining that I had no idea what I would do if I wasn’t a princess, I turned to him.
“What would you be doing if you didn’t play football?”
“I’d probably be dead. Or in jail.” He said it with such ease that it took me a moment to wrap my head around the statement.
“Why?”
“A lot of the guys I grew up with are either dead or in jail.” He shrugged a shoulder. “I’d have to assume I’d be one of them.”
“That’s…intense.” I frowned. “What are they in jail for?”
“Drugs. Mostly. A couple are in for homicide.”
“Which would you be in for?”
“I’m not sure.”
“You’re not sure whether or not you would have killed someone by now?” I all but squeaked.
“Things happen, Princess. The real world isn’t black and white.”
“I know it’s not.” My frown deepened. “But still. Murder is murder.”
“With all due respect, a lot of people consider your father a murderer,” he said. “Do you know what the difference is between your father and one of my friends?”
“No, but I’m sure you’re about to tell me.”
“The crown on his head.”
“Right.” I looked out the window and thought about that.
Of course, I didn’t consider my father a murderer, but there was no use denying the things he’d done when he was alive. Even if I tried to blind myself to his sins, I couldn’t hide from the truth—the families affected, the news articles that brought it all to light, etcetera. I wished I could say that I was disturbed by all of it. In a sense, I was. But I was also incredibly embarrassed because he was supposed to be a servant to his subjects, a leader, someone people could go to for help. Instead, they found a person unwilling to yield for the sake of his own traditions. It didn’t matter. My father was dead, and my brother Elias wasn’t like that. And more importantly, his new wife would never let him become that way. The car slowed and came to a stop in front of the museum where the event was being held.
“Hey, I didn’t mean anything by that. I’m just trying to make you see things from another perspective,” Ben said.
“I get it. I…thank you.” I smiled.
He searched my eyes for a long moment before nodding and getting out of the car to come around and open the door for me. The cameras were on us the second we stepped into view. His hand was around mine, leading me forward, and I focused on that instead of the attention.