Chapter 5
CHAPTER 5
Ben
She was unbelievably nervous, which was something I’d never expected. I’d seen her at galas, at parties, at her mother’s Sunday dinners, which were like entering a world summit, with global leaders and famous actors in attendance. She’d never been nervous at those events. It fueled the mystery of Pilar, which wasn’t necessarily a good thing since it meant I wanted to see her again. And like David had pointed out to me, sex between us could not happen, and all roads led to sex. I didn’t believe that men and women who were attracted to each other could just stay friends, and I couldn’t afford to complicate things with the princess. I wanted her for one night, that was it. No strings. Was it a possibility? I wasn’t sure, but I’d find out tonight as soon as I got her to loosen up a little.
I let go of her hand when we reached the red carpet they’d rolled out, and she stepped forward to have her photo taken in front of the signs with the logo of my foundation. This would be great press, having her standing in front of those. It would be in all of the tabloids tomorrow morning, which was what I wanted. Not for me, but for what the foundation stood for. I watched Pilar as she smiled, then made a more serious, sexy face and turned to show off the back of her dress. She was a complete natural in front of the camera. All of her previously displayed nerves seemed to vanish when the lights from the flashes hit her. It was baffling. I snapped out of it when David appeared in my line of sight.
“You should step in and have your photo taken with her,” he said.
“Yeah.” I nodded once and walked over to her.
I’d been staring at her for as long as the photographers had, enthralled by her beauty and poise. I needed to stop idolizing her, thinking of her as some unattainable object. She was a woman, and she was right in front of me. The fact that I knew she had such a huge crush on me was flattering, but now that she was right in front of me, without her brothers or mother or anyone else to stand between us, I wasn’t sure what I expected. Perhaps because my conquests had always come easily, I figured she would’ve flung herself at me already. But she hadn’t. Not really, anyway. I didn’t count her drunken advances the other night because it would have been unfair to do so. I hadn’t told her how she’d slowly stripped down for me and begged me to fuck her. I didn’t tell her how difficult it was for me to say no and walk out of there. No. Scratch that. It hadn’t been difficult for me to say no because she was out of her mind. If she’d been sober, walking away would have damn near killed me. And now here she was, all innocent again, with that underlying sexiness that I couldn’t seem to not be attracted to.
I walked over and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her to me slightly as the press continued snapping photos of us.
“When did you two meet?” one of the photographers asked. I continued smiling. I wasn’t going to give them anything, but Pilar spoke.
“We’re old friends,” she said. “We both happened to be in town, and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to support this wonderful organization that Benjamin has created.”
“Were you familiar with the Drake Foundation before tonight?”
“I knew as much as you did.” She winked. “But I know Ben, and when he called me to tell me how the foundation benefits underprivileged children, I knew I wanted to be a part of the unveiling.”
“Are you here on behalf of the Crown?” another asked.
“Aren’t I always?” Pilar laughed. “But I’m also here because I want to be.”
“Are you a couple?” another asked.
I felt Pilar stiffen.
“We’ll see you inside,” I said, smiling. “Thank you for being here.”
I led her away from the photographers. She sighed heavily the second we were out of view. I opened my mouth to say something, but we were interrupted by a man with a silver mohawk and a huge smile directed at Pilar. I kept my hand on her lower back as he introduced himself, first to her and then to me. Bryan Silver.
“Bryan Silver,” I repeated. “Fitting. With the hair and all.”
“Thanks, mate. I just got it done. My band, Silver Fox, is touring, and I thought it would be a nice touch.”
“Silver Fox.” I smiled in recognition. His band would be performing here tonight. They were donating any money made to the foundation. I shook his hand again. “Thank you so much for doing this for us.”
“Thank you for inviting us. We’re massive fans,” he said. “ Massive fans.”
“Have you heard them play before?” Pilar asked me.
“I can’t say that I have, but I look forward to it.”
“They’re really great. Good choice, Benjamin.” She smiled, the genuine one, and I felt myself grinning back at her.
“Well, I have to finish setting up. I just wanted to introduce myself.” Bryan walked away with a slight wave and a wink at Pilar.
I wondered if they’d dated or if he was trying to date her. As far as I knew, not many people had succeeded in taking her out, which was why I’d opted for this event. I knew taking her on a regular date, away from all of the cameras, would have been more ideal, but I also wasn’t ready for her to turn me down the way she’d done to so many others.
When I saw her the other night, dancing on tables and drinking her weight in alcohol, she’d opened up and told me how she was supposed to make appearances on behalf of the Crown. In that moment, I thought, well isn’t this an opportunity ? I called my original date and canceled, something I’d have to deal with later. I didn’t have any crazy ex-girlfriends, but Kayla wasn’t an ex-girlfriend. She was a constant booty call, and she was a little crazy, which was why she remained a booty call and never made it to girlfriend status. And even though I made it clear that going with me to the gala did not mean we were back on in any way, once I canceled on her, I knew Kayla didn’t feel that way. It made me even more glad that I’d canceled. It was important to keep a clear line between friendship and something more.
“This is really nice,” Pilar said after a moment. I blinked and watched her as she looked at the photographs on the walls.
“It is. Children took these photos,” I said.
“What?” Her brows rose as she turned back to look at the rest. “I’m impressed.”
The point of this particular exhibition was to raise money to provide art equipment to underprivileged children. The focus of the Drake Foundation was the kids, but I figured I’d break the events up into parts. This one was about the art, the next would be centered around sports. It was incredible how many children around the world played baseball with a tree branch and a rolled-up sock.
“Where are the kids located? All around the world?” She looked at me briefly before moving on to the next photograph.
“Yes, but the goal is to focus on certain areas at a time. Otherwise, it will get too hectic.” I nodded at the next image, a dusty-gray cloud. It looked like just that, a dusty, gray haze, but the reality behind the image was horrifying. “That was taken by a seven-year-old boy in Syria. In the midst of the war. With bombs dropping all around him.”
“Oh my God.” Pilar gasped, bringing her hand to her mouth. “That’s terrible.”
“It is, but that’s how life is for some people in the world. This serves as a good way to show that.”
“It’s so sad though.” When she turned to me, she looked like she was on the verge of tears. I fought the urge to pull her into my arms. “What happened to the boy?”
“He made it.” My smile felt tight. “His parents didn’t. His baby sister didn’t.”
“So sad.” She shook her head, turning back to the next photograph.
It was more of the same. Pain disguised as art. Agony wore a lot of masks, but when it was disguised as art, it actually moved people.
“Why Syria?” Pilar turned to me again.
“My brother was a photojournalist. One of his assignments was in Syria during the war. He wasn’t welcome there, but he continued to do his job. Despite the treatment, he made friends with some residents, told me great stories about them, about the suffering and sacrifice.” I paused, swallowing. I hated talking about this, but she’d asked, and I owed her an explanation.
“My parents didn’t approve of this.” I signaled toward the photographs. “They said I could have shown the suffering that goes on anywhere in the world. They’re bitter about my brother’s experience there, but it felt right. We don’t get to choose who suffers and who doesn’t.”
She swallowed visibly and looked at another photograph. “Where are your parents now?”
“Tel Aviv.”
“Oh.” She raised an eyebrow. “I’ve never been.”
“It’s beautiful.”
“Is that where you’re from? I thought you were from London.”
“My father’s from London, my mother is from Tel Aviv. I was raised between both places, but my heart was always in Tel Aviv.”
“I want to hear more about your family.” She smiled up at me.
I chuckled, hoping she’d drop it. A lot was missing from most of my personal stories, and I’d opened up to few people about them. It hadn’t bothered my past girlfriends. Kayla was one of the only ones who knew about my parents, and that was only because we’d been hooking up for so many years. Somewhere along the way, the lines had blurred, right before I scrubbed them clean and made it so they’d never blur again. Kayla was what the WAGs, the wives and girlfriends of footballers, called a hardcore groupie . When the lines started blurring, it took a sit-down with a few of the spouses for me to realize that she wasn’t the woman for me. She’d been sleeping with more than a few of the players on my team behind my back. I probably wouldn’t have cared about that as much, had a lot of them not been married. I didn’t consider myself above anyone, but their wives were kind, respectful, and much too giving to deserve that kind of treatment. And because I was the one who’d brought Kayla into the mix, I felt guilty. I’d ended things with Kayla, but still kept a casual friendship with her out of habit. Despite being wronged by her, it was difficult for me to completely turn my back on someone I’d known for most of my life.
“I’ll tell you about them another time.”
“And your brother.” Her eyes were filled with questions, but she didn’t ask them. It was either because she sensed that I didn’t want to speak about any of it, or because she knew it wasn’t the place.
She simply smiled again and continued looking at photographs. I wondered how many opinions and questions she kept to herself. I’d seen her in front of her family enough times to know that most of what she did in public was entirely for their benefit. I wished she’d drop the pretense around me. She would. Soon, she would. I just had to prove to her that she could. Though the fact that I wanted to do that at all was a problem in itself.