Chapter 25
Icheck my watch for the millionth time in the space of ten minutes. Jackson’s late, but he is never late. Worry rushes through me as I ring his phone, only for it to go to voicemail. Again.
He and James have been getting more and more involved in Legion business, and some of what they’re being made to do is unsettling. What if something bad has happened to one of them?
I inhale a deep, calming breath, telling myself that I’m being stupid. The two of them are fine; they’ve probably just been held up. Or, maybe I got it wrong, and I was supposed to meet Jackson at his house instead of at the party.
That’s it. I’ve made a mistake. We did talk about meeting at his place; James was already spending the afternoon with Jackson, so we agreed it made sense for me to meet them at Jackson’s house so we could walk to the party together.
I thought we’d changed the plans at the last minute, and I roll my eyes at how our miscommunication has sent me spiraling into a world of panic, but I can’t help it. Jackson is…well, he’s my everything. If something happens to him, I don’t know if I could survive.
Heading to the front door, I sneak out of the party, not bothering to tell any of my friends; they’re too busy hooking up with guys anyway. Besides, Jackson’s house is only five minutes from the party. I’ll be at his house in no time.
A cool wind wraps around me as I make the short walk, excitement coursing through me like it does any time I know I’m seeing Jackson.
We’ve been secretly dating for the last few years, but when I turn 16, and we take the next step in our relationship, we’re going to tell everyone about us, and I can’t wait.
I’m so done with not being able to kiss him and touch him whenever he is at my house, seeing James. I want the world to know we belong to each other.
Reaching his house, I ring the doorbell and wait patiently. A few seconds later, Ethan Rivers, Jackson’s dad, appears at the door, his curious features pulling into a grin at seeing me standing there.
“Kiera, what a surprise. What can I do for you?”
“Hi, Mr. Rivers. I think I was supposed to meet Jackson and James before we go to a party. Are they here?” I ask, ignoring the funny feeling in my stomach as his gaze roams over my bare legs.
I wanted to tease Jackson, so I wore a short skirt and a tight-fitted top that pushes my breasts together. He’s determined to wait until I’m of age before we have sex, but I’m more than ready to try other stuff with him, and I’m hoping he won’t be able to resist me with what I’m wearing.
“I’m afraid not. They’re still running an errand, but they shouldn’t be much longer.
Why don’t you come in and wait?” He opens the front door wider, indicating for me to come in.
But the feeling in my stomach hasn’t gone away, and I know Mrs. Rivers isn’t home either; she’s out with my mom for drinks.
He senses my hesitation. “Come on, Kiera. You know I don’t bite. ”
He chortles at his own joke, and my cheeks blush. I’ve known Ethan all my life; he and my dad are close friends, and I know he wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. I’m just on edge, nervous about what I’m hoping will happen between Jackson and me tonight.
I laugh with him. “I know.”
A friendly smile creases his face, and I relax as I follow him into the house I’ve been in at least a hundred times in my life. James, Jackson, and I are pretty inseparable. Or at least, we were until they started getting pulled into Legion business.
“Can I get you a drink?” Ethan asks when we reach the games room, and cigarette smell fills my nostrils.
The games room is the only room in the house Mrs. Rivers allows him to smoke in. He often sits at the bar smoking and watching Jackson, James, and me playing pool on the full-size table dominating the room, occasionally joining in when we want to play doubles.
He slips behind the bar, pouring himself a whiskey as I take a seat on the stool, leaning my elbow onto the bar. “I’m okay, thanks.”
He shrugs. “Suit yourself.”
With his tumbler full, he joins me at the seats, taking the stool next to me, our knees touching with how close he is. That weird feeling in my stomach starts again.
“So, how’s school?”
“Oh, it’s going okay. I’ll be glad when the exams are over, though, and we can enjoy summer,” I reply, subtly looking at my watch and wondering how much longer Jackson is going to be.
Ethan pulls a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, taking one out and lighting it. For the next few minutes, we talk about school and where I’d like to go to college as he smokes his cigarette. I hate the smell, and I try not to wrinkle my nose every time the smoke hits my face.
Finally, he extinguishes it in the ashtray before taking a sip of his whiskey. “You know, I had a lot of fun in college.”
I smile, but it doesn’t reach my eyes. I’m growing more frustrated by the second that Jackson isn’t back yet. “Oh, really?”
It isn’t a question that I want answering. Truthfully, I don’t want to know about the kind of fun he got up to in college. I’ve never felt this uncomfortable in his presence before, and I can’t quite figure out why he’s making me feel that way now.
I realize this is the first time I can recall ever being alone with him, and it’s not something I want to repeat. Not with the way his gaze keeps flicking down to my breasts.
“Yeah. I was a real cad.” He wiggles his brows, smirking mischievously.
“But I couldn’t help it. All these promiscuous girls running around, it was hard to resist.” Bile churns in my stomach, and my eyes flash to the door, a voice in my head telling me that it’s time to leave.
“I think you’ll have fun at college, Kiera.
A pretty girl like you will attract all kinds of attention.
” My blood turns to ice as he places a hand on my bare thigh. “Are you ready for that?”
His hand sliding further up my thigh has my instincts kicking in, and I jump from the stool. “You know, I think I got it wrong. I think I was meant to meet Jackson at the party, so I’ll get going.”
I take a step to pass him, but before I can, he grabs my arm, his fingertips digging in hard enough to leave bruises. “Come on, Kiera. Loosen up a little, you’ll need to for college.”
The overpowering stench of whiskey and cigarette breath brushes over me, making me want to gag, and it’s only now that I’m closer to him, I can see his eyes are glazed. He must have been drinking before I arrived.
“What are you doing?” I ask, panic lacing my voice as I attempt to pull my arm free.
He grabs my other arm, gripping me impossibly tight as he lowers his face to mine. “I can help you, Kiera. I can help you get prepared for what you’ll experience at college. You don’t want to be seen as the class prude, do you?”
He spins us around, and I shriek, trying my hardest to pull my arms out of his grasp, but he’s just too strong. He backs us up, and before I can stop him, my legs crash against the armrest of the leather couch. I scream as I lose my balance, tumbling backward with Ethan falling on top of me.
His heavy body pins me to the cushions, and as I wriggle underneath him, desperately trying to get myself free.
Blinding panic seeps into the marrow of my bones when I feel his erection pressing into my belly.
He manages to grab my hands, pinning them awkwardly above my head with one hand, and with the other, he yanks my legs apart, settling between them.
“Relax, Kiera, and I won’t hurt you when I fuck you,” he spits, hovering over me.
Fear slams into me, so powerful that it consumes my entire body, turning me to a frozen statue. He reaches between us, tearing my underwear from my body before unzipping his pants.
And still, I can’t move. I’m helpless but to lie there, staring up at a brown stain on the white ceiling as pain between my legs rips me apart.
I have no recollection of how I got home. All I know is that I needed to shower and wash every trace of him from my body. My phone rings again from my bedroom, but I don’t move. I just sit on the tiles of my shower, letting the hot water cascade over me, burning my skin.
But I don’t feel clean. I don’t think I ever will.
When the water turns cold, and wracking shivers take over my body, I finally move, wincing from the pain between my legs as I stagger to my bedroom, not bothering to wrap a towel around me.
I glance at my phone, noting five missed calls from Jackson. I reach for it and quickly type out a message telling him I’m not feeling well. Clambering under the covers of my bed, soaking the sheets with my damp body, I curl into a ball and cry.
One month later
For the first two weeks, I convinced myself that what happened was my fault. I blamed myself for dressing provocatively. For going into the house knowing Ethan was alone. For not telling him to stop.
When the repeated nightmares of him coming into my room and touching me again became too much, I made an anonymous call to a charity that helps victims of sexual assault. One lengthy conversation helped me to realize that I wasn’t to blame.
That I was raped.
The lady I spoke to tried to convince me to go to the police, or at the very least, tell someone I trusted so they could support me. There was only one person I wanted to tell, but he was the last person on earth I wanted to talk to.
So, for an entire month, I’ve kept what Ethan did to me a secret, but I don’t think I can keep it any longer because I’m in a whole heap of trouble.
I’m pregnant.
I stare at the ten pregnancy tests all lined up on the chest of drawers in my bedroom, all showing the positive sign. I can believe one of the tests is a false positive, but not ten.
A million questions rush through my head, but one answer is crystal clear.
I’m keeping the baby.
The baby that’s growing inside of me. I don’t care if it was created by a monster; the baby is still half of me, and I can’t even think of getting rid of it.