Chapter 25 #2
Tears well in my eyes, emotions overwhelming me. There’s an inexplicable happiness rushing through me. The baby is probably no bigger than a seed, and I know I already love it, but I can’t deny the other part of me that hates it.
I’d always envisioned a moment like this, celebrating with Jackson, who was going to become a father. But this moment, much like him being my first, was ripped from us.
By his own father.
Jackson has been beside himself this last month, at least that’s what James has told me, but he doesn’t know why. He doesn’t know that Jackson is devastated because I ended things between us.
Like a coward, I avoided him for an entire week after that night. He wanted to come and see me, sneak in so we could meet in the treehouse like we used to, but I told him I didn’t want to see him.
And then I told him via a text message that I didn’t love him anymore.
Like a coward, I ignored every single text and voice message begging me to speak to him after that.
My bedroom door swings open, and the next few seconds happen in slow motion.
“Kiera, I’ve been calling-” my dad snaps, his eyes darting from me to the tests lined up on the side, his brows furrowing before almost disappearing off his head when he connects the dots. He stomps over to the side, and I hold my breath, waiting for the explosion. “What the fuck is this?”
His angry snarl whips to me, and the words fall out before I can stop them. “I…I’m pregnant.”
A thick tension settles over the room as he stares back at me. He stands so still, I’m not sure he is even breathing. Suddenly, he grabs me, his fingers digging into the spot where Ethan had held me, the bruises he left behind only just faded. “Say. That. Again.”
A sob flies free as a tear rolls down my face. “I’m pregnant,” I suck in a shaky breath, determined to be brave for the sake of my baby. “And I’m keeping it.”
“Like fucking hell you are!” he roars, shoving me away in disgust. “What do you mean you’re pregnant? You’re fifteen years old, you little whore!” Before I can brace myself, he slaps me hard around the face, my cheek burning. “Who’s the father?”
More tears fall, stinging my red cheek. I wrap my arms around my stomach, feeling the need to protect what’s growing there, and wanting my mom to come in and wrap her arms around me to protect me from my father. But she isn’t home.
“Dad, please,” I start.
He grabs me again and throws me onto the bed. “Who is the father, Kiera?”
Unable to stop the flood of tears that stream from my eyes, I decide to tell him the truth, hoping to earn his understanding. “I was raped.”
My dad’s angry glare softens momentarily, and he takes a few seconds before he replies. “By who?”
The mental anguish at acknowledging the truth aloud is unbearable torture. Ethan’s face appears in my mind, looming over me as he grunted and groaned, thrusting inside me and stealing my innocence.
I close my eyes, swallowing down the vomit that wants to erupt as I say his name. “Ethan. Ethan Rivers.”
When I don’t hear a response, not even a sharp intake of breath, I crack my eyes open to peek. My dad glowers at me, a muscle ticking in his jaw, and my heart starts beating frantically as I await his response, expecting him to go apoplectic that his friend hurt his little girl.
“Who else knows?” he finally says.
“No one,” I reply, my brows pulling together at his calmness.
“And that’s the way it stays. You’ll get rid of the fetus, and you won’t breathe a word about this to anyone.”
An invisible knife plunges into my chest as my overwhelmed brain tries to process his words.
Fetus.
Get rid.
Won’t breathe a word.
Before I know what I’m doing, I leap to my feet. “That’s it? I tell you your friend raped me, and all you can say is I can’t tell anyone?”
He steps forward, a menacing look on his face. “That’s exactly what I said. Do you have any idea of the repercussions this could have for Legion? The society means too much for us, and your little misdemeanor would bring trouble we just don’t need.”
My bottom lip wobbles, disbelief snaking through me. Not only does my own father want me to forget that I was raped, but he is putting his secret society above his own flesh and blood.
What sort of a man is he?
I already know the answer to that, and I internally curse, regretting telling him who was responsible for this situation.
He pulls his phone out, snapping me out of my daze as he starts tapping away at buttons. “There’s a doctor on Legion’s payroll that can do the abor-”
“No!” I shriek, knocking his phone out of his hand. His furious eyes land on me, but I refuse to be intimidated. Not over this. “I’m not getting rid of the baby.”
“Oh yes you fucking are!”
I jump back as he attempts to grab me. “I am not getting rid of it. I’m having this baby whether you like it or not!”
His lips lift into a snarl as he narrows his gaze on me, and when he speaks, his tone is laced with venom.
“No fucking daughter of mine gets herself knocked up and thinks she can carry on being a part of this family. Either you get rid of the fetus, or you can get the fuck out of this house and never be a part of this family again. I fucking mean it, Kiera, if you want to keep it, then pack your bags and get the fuck out of this house right this second. But you will never see your mom or James again. You won’t be a Carter anymore, you won’t be part of Legion. Do you fucking understand?”
My heart constricts at the thought of never seeing my mom and brother again, but the decision is easy. I will always choose my baby over anyone. “Then I’ll pack my bags.”
He shakes his head, disgust curling his features.
“Then get fucking packing, and don’t expect me to give you a single cent to help you out.
Think you’ll survive long without any money?
” He raises a brow, waiting for me to reply, but I hold his gaze, refusing to back down.
He snorts. “We’ll see how long you last. But if you want back into this family, it won’t be with that fucking abomination. ”
Spinning, he storms over to the door, turning back to face me. “Keep your cunt of a kid, but I warn you now, Kiera. You won’t breathe a word of who its father is.”
The sensible thing to do is to keep my mouth shut, but I’m too angry. Too hurt. Too broken, to keep the words in. “You can’t stop me, Dad. You can’t stop me from going to the police and telling them what that man did to me.”
Before I know it, he’s back in front of me, snarling down with malice shining in his eyes.
“You will keep your fucking mouth shut, or shall I tell you what will happen?” I swallow, nervous anxiety riddling my body.
“I’ll tell you what will happen. I’ll personally make sure that baby doesn’t get to take its first breath, and if you wait until it’s older to reveal who daddy dearest is, I’ll make you watch while I slit their throat. ”
A gasp catches in my throat, but he isn’t finished breaking me that little bit more.
“That’s not all. You think I haven’t seen how you feel about Jackson?
” His brows quirk as he smirks. “You think I can’t see how you fawn over him.
I know you care deeply for that boy, so mark my words.
You tell a soul that Ethan is the father, and I won’t just make you watch me kill your kid.
I’ll make you watch as I murder Jackson with my bare hands. ”
Fear, horror, and panic wrap around my heart like barbed wire, the sharp spikes piercing the organ until they are buried so deep, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to remove them.
My father shrugs as amusement lights up his face.
“Let’s call it tit for tat. Ethan hurt you, so I’ll hurt his son.
Now pack your bags, and go. I can’t look at you any longer. ”
The voices of an arguing couple reach my motel room. I lug my sluggish body off the bed and over to the window to close it. I don’t need to hear anyone else’s problems, not when I’ve got enough of my own.
It’s funny how things can change in the space of twenty-four hours. Yesterday, I was preparing to get into bed at the house I’d grown up in, with the only thing hanging over me was trying to come to terms with being raped.
Now, I’m getting under the scratchy covers of a dingy motel bed, worrying about how I’m going to fend for myself and my baby with limited funds.
I have money, a savings account my mom has regularly topped up since I was born, but when I went to use it to pay for a decent hotel, the account had been frozen.
My father’s doing, no doubt.
Luckily, I had $200 stashed away in my bedside drawer that I’d remembered to grab as I packed what I could carry in a duffel bag.
It was a case of spending the full $200 for one night in a nice hotel, or making it last as long as possible by renting a $15 a night room in a motel that looks like it belongs in a horror film.
Neither my mom nor James were home when my father frog-marched me off the property, reminding me that the only way I would be welcomed home would be without my child.
As I checked into the motel, though, James phoned me.
I told him what had happened, forgoing the part about the rape, and making up a bullshit lie that I had slept with a boy from school.
James wanted names, but I refused to tell him, knowing that my brother would hunt down the fictional boy so he could ruin his life. He didn’t push me too hard, though, not when I started sobbing.
I suspect the conversation is far from done, but he can ask as much as he likes; I will never tell him the truth. I won’t risk my baby or Jackson’s life.
Ever.
Thankfully, James offered to help me, risking the wrath of my father as he promised me he would make sure both me and the baby have everything we need. He was even excited to become an uncle, and hearing the happiness in his voice made me cry happy tears.
So much of my future is unsettled, but at least I have James to rely on, and in eight months, I’ll have a tiny thing to protect with my life.
And I will. I will love and protect my baby, no matter what.
Lost in thought, the bang on the door startles me. “Kiera, open the door. I know you’re in there.” I gape at the door, my eyes wide. How the hell did Jackson know I was here? He bangs again, this time harder. “Open the fucking door.”
I jump off the bed and race over to it. I don’t want to see him, but if he makes a scene, I could get kicked out of the motel. Reluctantly, I unlock the door and crack it open a fraction.
Sorrow floods me at seeing Jackson’s red cheeks, his eyes puffy where he’s obviously been crying. My heart splits straight down the middle, and my entire body aches with the need to fall against him and let him wrap his arms around me. I crave his warmth and the safety only he can bring.
I swallow the lump in my throat. “What are you doing here?” I ask, keeping my voice as neutral as possible, when my world is crumbling.
“Let me in.”
I sigh, stepping back to grant him access. He slams the door with a resounding thud, his furious gaze landing on me. “I hear congratulations are in order.”
The acid in his tone is undeniable, and I can’t blame him. I’ve hurt him, and I can’t even tell him why. “Jack-”
“Who was it?”
I squeeze my eyes shut, wishing to be anywhere else but here. “It doesn’t matter.”
He leaps forward, not touching me, but standing close enough that I have to tilt my head back to look up at him, rage vibrating off his tense body. “It does matter!” he roars, spreading his arms wide. “You fucking cheated on me, and I want to know who with.”
Hot tears fall down my face. I’ve cried so much in the last month that I’m surprised I still have tears left to cry. I wrap my shaky arms around myself, my shoulders hunching. “Please, Jackson. I’m sor-”
His hand whips out to grab my throat, and it terrifies me.
Jackson has never been aggressive toward me.
“Don’t you dare fucking say you’re sorry, Kiera!
” Kiera. Not Kiki, like he always calls me.
“You’ve thrown everything we were building away like we were nothing.
Like I meant nothing.” His voice breaks, and he releases me, his gaze dropping to the floor.
“Why? Why did you do it?” he adds softly.
The barbs piercing my heart start digging in again, searing my body with blinding hot pain. “I…I don’t know.”
It’s the only thing I can say without giving in to the monumental need to tell him the truth. But I know how close he is with his dad; it’ll kill him. And then my dad will actually kill him.
I can’t do it, I can’t tell him the truth, so as much as I know this is hurting him, it’s better that he thinks I cheated on him than him knowing what really happened.
It will be easier for him to move on with his life if he hates me.
“You don’t know?” he growls viciously. “You don’t know why you spread your legs like a fucking slut for someone else? You don’t know why you threw our future away?”
An invisible rope tightens around my throat, and I have to force the words out. “I…I didn’t want to be with you anymore.”
His face falls like I’ve just slapped him, and I want to take the words back. But I don’t. I can’t. His eyes begin to water, and I hate myself for what I’m doing to him.
Like a switch has been thrown, his features harden, his eyes darkening with unbridled fury.
“I fucking loved you. I loved you with my whole damn heart—” he slams his hand against his chest, the thud echoing around the tiny room “—but now, I don’t think I even know who you are.
You were the girl I would have died for, but it turns out, you’re just a filthy, cheating whore.
” His cruel words drive the barbs in deeper around my heart, the pain so severe that I can’t breathe.
Jackson wipes an arm over his face, clearing the tears that have started to fall.
“I hope you regret this for the rest of your life. I hope you’re miserable until the day you die.
” His jaw clenches as his eyes rake up and down my body, disgust flickering on his face.
“You better stay the fuck out of my way, Kiera, because I swear, if I ever see you again, I’ll fucking destroy you. ”
Without giving me another look, he storms out the door. I collapse to the floor with no idea how I’ll ever get up again.