Chapter 14
Chapter
Fourteen
NIKOLAI
T he sight of Ava with her dress around her waist and her hand between her knees sets me on fire. My cock grows hard, making it difficult for me to even think about what I’m doing as I approach her.
“Nikolai,” she gasps, withdrawing her hand, but I catch her wrist.
“If you want to finish, then finish for me.”
We both lock eyes, and the intensity of it makes me want to devour her whole.
“I can’t,” she whispers.
“Why not?”
“Because you’re watching me.”
“I’ve watched you before,” I remind her. I think about that night in the bathroom all the time. It’s consumed my mind.
“But this time …”
I lift an eyebrow. “I caught you?”
The flush that covers her face spreads down to her upper chest. Fuck, I want her so badly.
I take her hand and place it back on her pussy. “Touch yourself for me, Ava. Let me see you come.”
She swallows hard but does as I say. Slowly, her hand begins to move over her clit, rubbing and pressing down and circling it. I watch her hand. Her technique is fascinating. It tells me what she likes.
I haven’t seen her pussy before. It’s either been kept hidden by her underwear or in the bath. But fuck, it’s a thing of beauty. I could press my face between her legs right now and eat her out.
But I hold back.
God, it takes everything in me to hold back.
Ava’s breath comes out in pants as she rolls her clit around. Watching her hips slowly rise and fall back down is intoxicating.
I meet her gaze again, and this time, I don’t let go.
Her beautiful lips part; her eyes flutter.
“Keep them open,” I order. She snaps them back open. “Good. Don’t look away as you come.”
My hands curl into the blanket. It’s taking everything in me not to take her right this second.
She rubs harder, her breath comes out faster, and a small moan escapes her. She’s perfect.
And then she gasps, and her entire body shudders. “Oh,” she whispers. Never once does she take her eyes off me.
Watching Ava come is the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. My control is slipping, but I keep it at the last moment.
“You are …” I shake my head. “Fuck, Ava.”
She blushes again as she removes her hand from between her legs. “Can I lower my dress?”
“Do you need my permission?”
“Sometimes it feels that way.”
I take a moment to re-look at her pussy. Fuck. And then I nod. “Lower it back down. Before I do something I’ll regret.”
Quickly, she pushes her dress back down to cover her lower body, taking away my view of her perfect pussy. “What would you regret?”
Her question startles me. Normally, I’d answer her question with another question. It’s a good deflection technique. But I decide to answer honestly this time.
“I would’ve taken you right here, right now if you hadn’t covered yourself back up.”
“Without my consent?”
“No,” I say softly. “I want your consent in this. I want to hear you scream my name when I make you come. I want my cock to be the first cock ever inside you.”
She gasps. Her eyes show a little fear and …
Arousal.
She wants this, and that thought leaves me even hungrier for her and more desperate.
“I never said I was a virgin,” she whispers.
I know because her father told me she was. I’m not going to ruin this moment by telling her that. “Are you not?”
She turns even redder. “I am.”
“One day, you’ll let me take you. And when that day comes … fuck, Ava. I won’t be able to hold back.”
She sits up, eyeing me with curiosity. “Do you struggle to hold back now?”
“I do. Watching you touch yourself was a test of self-control.”
“Nik, I don’t want you to hold back … anything. I want you to be open with me.”
I know what’s she saying. It’s not just physicality. It’s emotion. She wants me to pour all my heart and trauma and everything onto her.
But I can’t.
If I open that dam, I’ll never be able to close it, and that will make me vulnerable to my enemies.
“Ava …”
She must sense me pulling back because she places her hand on my cheek. The touch is so wholesome yet so intimate. “You can open yourself up to me. It’s the only way we can have a real marriage.”
I look at her more closely. “Do you want a real marriage with me?”
“I don’t have a choice, do I?”
“That wasn’t an answer.”
She smiles slightly. “You rarely give me answers.”
Touché, Ava. Touché.
“But,” she says, “to answer your question, I do. I don’t really have any other options except you. So, I want to make this work.”
“That doesn’t exactly instill me with confidence.”
She squints. “Was that a joke?”
Sighing deeply, I pull away from her. She looks crestfallen, and it hurts my fucking soul. “I know I didn’t give you an option in this marriage. I know I don’t have any right to ask you for more, but … if you want to make it work, I … want that, too.”
The way her face lights back up restores my soul. “Really?”
“I just don’t know how to be open. I’m not sure I ever really will be.”
“Just try?”
I nod once. “I can try.”
She stares down at the blanket, picking at it in a long quiet moment before looking up at me. “You saved me last night.”
“Someone drugged you.”
“Who?”
“I don’t know. But Dimitri and I are over as business partners because of this. I won’t let you get hurt because of him.”
“I doubt he spiked my drink.”
“No. But it was Dimitri’s club, making him responsible. I never trusted him anyway.” I stand up, putting even more distance between us. “I’m glad you’re feeling better this morning.”
She blushes again , and it’s so cute and distracting that I almost pull her into a kiss. “I didn’t mean for you to see me like … this.” She motions to her lower body and the bed beneath her.
“Why were you …?”
“Isn’t it obvious? I feel things when I’m with you, Nik. I don’t fully understand them, but it’s all there.”
Her words send a punch to my gut. She’s admitting she has feelings for me. How can I ever do the same?
I clear my throat. “I’m just glad you’re all right.” I head for the door but then stop when she speaks again.
“Thank you. For saving me.”
“It’s what husbands do.” Even though I’m the worst kind of husband. I leave the room before I do something I’ll regret.
AVA
“You have a glow about you this morning,” Mrs. Brown says after I come into the kitchen. Nikolai already left for work, and I’m so grateful for that. After what we shared in my bedroom, I don’t think I could look him in the eye right away again.
I flush. “Do I?”
She gives me a knowing look. “Starting to get more comfortable here? I knew you would.”
“I’m not sure I’ll ever be fully comfortable here. But I’m trying.”
“Good. Keep on trying.”
“And keep eating,” Claude says, handing me a plate full of bacon. “It’s disgusting, but you need fat on your bones.”
“I’m not going to eat a plate full of bacon, but thank you.” I set the plate down.
Claude huffs and turns back to the stove, where he’s making soup.
Mrs. Brown and I exchange looks before she heads to do the laundry, leaving Claude and me alone.
“Claude, I’ve spoken to Edmund and Mrs. Brown about this, but how did you start working for Nik?” I’ve been calling him that more and more, and it’s starting to sound more natural.
“Why do you care about my life? You don’t care about my food.”
I sigh and lean against the counter so I can look him in the eye. “I don’t hate you, Claude. I want to get to know you. I’ll be staying here, and I might as well make friends with everyone.”
“Edmund and Lottie are easy to make friends with, I’m sure. They don’t have an attitude like me.”
“I never said you had an attitude.”
He gives me a pointed look, silently telling me I didn’t need to say it—it was already obvious. “Fine. You want to know about my life? I’ll tell you. I used to work at a three-star Michelin restaurant. I was so proud. My entire family was proud.” He chops up some carrots and adds them to the soup.
“And then?”
“Then the head chef got in some trouble with some of the waitresses, if you know what I mean.”
“That’s terrible.”
“Well, yes,” he says like it’s obvious. “But that wasn’t the worst part. Because of that scandal, the restaurant lost business, and I lost my job.”
“Yes, because that’s worse than the women getting sexually harassed by their coworker.”
Claude makes a face. “Yes, it was worse because my life was affected. I had to find a new job. And that’s when Mr. Petrov showed up. He offered me a job to work for him, and I took it. No questions asked. And I still haven’t asked questions to this day so that might be something for you to learn.”
“You don’t like my questions?”
“I hate your questions,” he groans, throwing his head back. “You’re like a little bird, flittering around my ear. I hate it. Now, let me work.” He nudges me out of the way to grab a knife from the drawer. “I have to finely cut the onion for this soup. It’s the only way it tastes so good.”
“Sure, Claude. But one more question.”
He groans again. “Always with the questions.”
“Why are you so loyal to Nik? Why didn’t you help me when I first came here?”
“That’s two questions.”
“Just answer.”
“I didn’t know you needed help,” he says, shrugging.
“You didn’t notice I was a prisoner?”
“Nope.” He slowly cuts the onion. “I didn’t ask. I didn’t care. I’m paid good money for this job. Nothing in the world will make me give it up.”
“So, you stay here for money.”
“Who doesn’t?”
“Edmund stays because he knows it’s too dangerous to leave this life.”
“Well, Edmund and I are vastly different people.”
That is very true.
I pat Claude on the arm. “Never change, Claude.” He jerks away from me with a scrunched-up face like I have a disease.
I chuckle as I walk away. It’s only once I leave the kitchen I realize I have a large smile on my face. How often have I smiled like this since being married to Nik?
Not often, I realize.
Maybe things are starting to turn around for the better.
Yale is perfect as fall starts to come around. The leaves are turning red and yellow and orange. It’s cozy and comfy. I’m reminded of the nights my mom and I would drink hot chocolate on the couch, our toes curled under a blanket, a pumpkin vanilla candle making everything smell better.
I stop short in the middle of a walkway as a pang hits me. I still don’t know what happened to her, and I’ll never fully be satisfied until I do know.
I’ve tried not to think too much about her because the pain cuts me too deep, but right now, I can’t get her off my mind. Panic bubbles up into my chest, and I bend over, breathing in deeply. God, I miss her so much. I’ve let myself get distracted by Nik and my growing feelings for him when I should be focused on finding her.
She’d be so upset with me for developing feelings for the man who bought me and letting her body remain missing.
“Ava.”
That voice makes me stand upright immediately. Jason stands before me, smiling like he didn’t just get punched in the face by Nik a few nights ago. He still has a bruise.
“Jason,” I say warily.
“I’m not here to fight. I just saw you bent over and wanted to make sure you were all right.”
“I’m fine.”
His smile turns to scowl. “Fine, don’t tell. I was just trying to help.” He starts to walk away, but something inside me calls him back.
“Wait.”
He turns back with an expectant smile. I hate him for that. Why can’t he understand that we’re just friends?
But I need to talk, and I don’t have any other friends on campus. That reality makes me even sadder.
“I was thinking about my mom.”
“What about her?”
“She’s dead, Jason. Her body is missing. Someone took her.”
He has the decency to look worried this time. Not for me, he didn’t, but I guess for my mom he can conjure up the emotion. “I’m sorry. That’s … I can’t even imagine. Do you want to talk about it?”
“You know what? I do.”
That’s how Jason and I end up at a small café near campus, coffee cups in our hands. It seems Jason finally got that coffee date he’d been asking for all those months ago.
“I just miss her so much.”
“I bet. I know you two were close. Does your husband know? I bet he doesn’t know you as well as I do.”
“Don’t talk about my husband, Jason. You don’t know everything.” I pause. “Well, you do know, but you refused to listen.”
“I don’t want to fight.”
I sigh and take a sip of my coffee. “Fine. I don’t want, too, either. I just need to talk about it. I just need to know my mom will be found someday.”
“Maybe I can help.”
“How can you help?”
“My dad is a cop. He could ask around. Look into the case. You did file a missing person’s report about this, right?”
“No. Because I was busy getting kidnapped the night she died. When I came back a week later, her body was gone. I haven’t filed a report.”
“Why not?”
“Because …” Because the world I’m involved in now is a dangerous one . I don’t think Nik would appreciate the cops getting involved when it comes to something concerning me. Besides, I might get into trouble for not reporting a murder sooner. Just like Jason, I doubt many cops would believe my story of my forced marriage to Nik. It sounds too crazy to be real.
“Because?”
“I just didn’t. And don’t tell your dad. I’ll solve this case myself.”
He reaches across the table and grabs my hand. I try to pull back, but he doesn’t let go. “I’m here for you, you know.”
“Why? My husband punched you in the face. Why would you want to help me?”
“Because I don’t care about him, Ava. I’ve only ever cared about you.”
I rip my hand away from his. “Jason, do you seriously think something will ever happen between us?”
“Yes. Because we’re meant to be together, Ava. You’re not meant to be with that Chad. You could leave him. Be with me.”
I can’t help it. I laugh. It’s a harsh, nippy sound. “Jason, I can’t leave Nikolai. That’s not happening.”
“Because he’s abusive?”
“Because I don’t want to leave him,” I say slowly, realizing how true that is.
The anger that crosses Jason’s face makes me shiver. Never have I seen him look so upset.
“Ava,” he hisses, grabbing my hand again. “Think about how good we’d be together. Come on. I’m begging here.”
A dark shadow falls over the table.
I can feel his presence without even looking up.
“Let her go,” Nik growls.
Jason takes one look at my husband and releases my hand. “I’m?—”
“Sorry?” Nik grabs Jason by the shirt and slams him against the wall. The other café-goers stare in shock. “You have no right to touch her.”
“I’m sorry, man, I truly am.”
“Nik,” I hiss, grabbing his arm, but it’s like he’s in a trance. He doesn’t even see me.
“You will never touch her again,” Nik threatens.
Jason frantically nods his head. “Yeah, yeah, you’re right.” Nik is holding him so far off the ground that Jason’s feet don’t even touch it.
Nik lets him go, practically tossing him to the ground, and then turns to me. “Let’s go.”
The other café-goers watch us leave. Jason is crumpled up into a ball on the floor. A woman walks over to check on him.
“Are you ok?” she asks.
“Just some bitch and her boyfriend,” is his response.
I know Nikolai can hear it because I can see his face contort into rage. But he doesn’t storm back over to Jason like I expected. He just takes my hand, and we walk out of the café.
“What are you doing here?” I ask.
“I came to pick you up today.”
“Why?”
“Can’t a husband pick up his wife from Yale?”
“Of course, you can. I’ve just been taking the train, so I wasn’t sure.”
He sighs and faces me. “I wanted to see you,” he admits. “I … missed you.”
An unsure Nikolai Petrov is strangely amusing.
And strangely cute.
“You got mad back in there,” I say.
“I don’t want another man touching you.”
“Only you want to touch me?”
“Yes,” he growls. We’re in the middle of a sidewalk and can’t be doing this here. Nik must realize the same thing because he takes my hand and walks us over to his car. “Get in the backseat.”
I do as he says. My body tingles with the thought of what’s about to happen.
Nikolai gets in the back with me. “Lie down.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Do you trust me?”
I trust Nik not to hurt me, but do I fully trust him with my heart yet? No. But I can’t tell him that.
So, I lie down on the backseat. The car has enough space for both of us.
“You’re mine, Ava.” He grabs the end of my dress and pushes it above my hips. I hold very, very still. Nikolai has never truly touched me like this. He’s only ever asked me to take my clothes off for him and for me to touch myself.
His fingers skim the edges of my panties. Without asking my permission, he rips them down my legs. I gasp. My inner walls clench with arousal. How can he make me feel these things?
He pushes my knees up and spreads my legs. “You’re mine,” he repeats before he places his palm over my entire vulva. My hips jerk up of their own accord.
Nikolai doesn’t move his hand for a long time. He just keeps it covering me. The heat of his palm sends heat over my entire body.
I try to calm my breathing down, but it’s pointless. I feel too alive right now to calm down.
Then he begins to move.
His fingers run up and down my folds, making me gasp. Wetness comes out of me, coating his fingers, which he uses to rub me more firmly. When his finger brush my clit, I almost lose my mind.
My toes curl from the pleasure of it.
Nik doesn’t take his eyes off mine. Not once. We’re locked in a heated battle with our gazes while he touches me between my legs. The fact we’re doing this during the day, in his car, makes everything feel wilder.
When he palms my entire vulva, the sensation sends such an intense pleasure through me, I can barely breathe.
He must sense this because he says, “It’s ok. Just feel.”
I relax slightly and let myself get caught in the moment. My hips rock against his hand as he rubs me harder. I need more, more, more.
And then, finally, my orgasm hits, and I fall.
Nik keeps his hand between my legs even after I’ve calmed down. “I’ve wanted to touch you ever since I first saw you.”
I blush.
He removes his hand and pulls my underwear back up and dress my back down. “Let’s go home.”
Let’s go home indeed.
NIKOLAI
The scent of Ava’s pussy is still on my hand as I pull my gun out of my pocket and aim it at Jason’s head.
Ava is sound asleep in her bed, and I’m back in New Haven, ready to settle unfinished business.
“Please, don’t,” Jason cries as he sits on his knees in the middle of the warehouse I brought him to. I snatched him right out of his bed, and no one noticed. “Please.”
“I told you to leave my wife alone. But you just didn’t get the message.”
“Ple—”
I shoot him in the head. He never got to finish his sentence.
Jason falls face first onto the floor. I call my cleanup crew to deal with the body and then head back to New York.
It’s my job to fix loose ends, and Jason was a fucking loose end if I’ve ever seen one.
The house is deadly quiet when I enter and walk upstairs. The truth is, I hate the quiet. When everything is quiet, I’m left alone with my thoughts, and I hate the thoughts that go through me.
I’m almost to my bedroom door when I hear Ava behind me.
“Nikolai?” She’s standing halfway out of her room, wearing a white nightgown I want to peel off her body.
“What are you doing up?”
“I can’t stop thinking.”
I start to smile. So, it’s been on her mind just as much as it’s been on mine?
“About my mom,” she says, making my smile disappear.
“What about her?”
“I need to find her body, Nik. I just need to.” She wrings her hands together. “I know you’re a powerful man. Surely, you can look around. See what you can find?”
She looks so innocent and sad at this moment. I know my answer before I even say it.
“Of course, I’ll look into it.”
“Thank you,” she breathes out.
I smile and head into my room.
I just lied to my wife.
Ever since Ava’s mom’s body went missing, I’ve been looking into it; Ava didn’t have to ask me to.
But I hadn’t found anything—not until today. Which is why I went to New Haven to pick her up.
Keeping quiet, I head back downstairs to my office. My intention was to tell Ava, but instead, I got distracted by Jason and his fucking hands on her and then my hands were on her, and I just pushed it from my mind.
Honestly, I’m glad I didn’t tell Ava what I’d planned to tell her.
I unlock one of the drawers in my desk and pull out a burner phone I use for anything I don’t want associated with myself.
I turn the phone on and stare down at the picture of the woman who looks so similar to Ava.
Camille, Ava’s mother.
I was sent this photo by one of my guards, who took a picture of Camille just a day ago. Walking down the street. Huddling inside a jacket.
Ava’s mother is alive.
And I didn’t immediately tell Ava about it because then she’d leave me. She’d run right back to her mother and want nothing to do with me.
I’m not sure how Camille survived or where she’s been these past weeks. I just know she’s alive, and I need to tell Ava. I was going to tell her until I got distracted.
I am going to tell her. I have to.
I just have no idea how, and the fact I contemplated not telling Ava at all proves just how much of a monster I am.
I turn the phone off and set it back in my desk. It can stay in there a little while longer.