Chapter 14
CHAPTER
FOURTEEN
EMERSON
I didn’t want to admit it, but Hope got to me. And it wasn’t only her cruel words that sent me spiraling. The aftermath of the audition and dinner combo was too much for my fragile confidence, so I hid in my room all weekend.
I ignored my phone, the knocks at the door, and everyone in the house. I lived off protein bars and stale crackers I found at the bottom of a dance bag when the hunger pains got too intense. By Monday morning, I was sick of my own company and perhaps my smell.
Climbing out of bed, I dragged myself into the shower. Everything hurt from lying in bed all weekend, and I regretted letting Hope and her words get to me. If I wanted to take her down, I had to stop letting what she said about me matter. But the little girl who’d been best friends with her once struggled to let go.
She’s not that girl anymore; holding onto her ghost only hurts you.
Turning on the water, I discarded my clothes on the floor and stepped into the shower. I stood under the rain head for a few minutes and let the water run over me. Everything felt so heavy this morning, and I knew if I didn’t snap out of it, I was dangerously close to slipping into depression. Maybe I should call that therapist I’d seen freshman year.
Reaching for the shampoo, I screamed when a shadow appeared in the corner of my vision. Throwing the bottle, I covered myself and huddled back in the corner.
“Really?” Holden grumbled, picking up the shampoo that had bounced off his chest. His very naked and muscular chest .
“What are you doing?” I shrieked.
He lifted a brow and stepped into the shower. That was when I realized he wasn’t just shirtless, but naked. His glorious cock hung between his thick, muscular legs, and I couldn’t stop myself from staring. Holden smirked at my response and stepped under the second shower head.
“You do know how showers work. Right?”
I stuttered, thrown entirely off balance by his arrival. It had nothing to do with his naked body. Absolutely nothing.
“Y-yes, of course I do! I just don’t know why you’re in mine.”
“You were taking too long, and I needed to shower.”
“So, instead of knocking and asking how long I’ll be, you decided to take one with me?” His eyes ran over my body, and my nipples pebbled at his notice.
“Exactly.” He licked his lips, and I blinked, unsure what was happening. The game we’d played on Friday seemed so long ago now.
Turning in a huff, I grabbed the conditioner and massaged it through my hair. Every part of me wanted to cover myself, but I focused on ignoring him and went about my business. I wouldn’t let him scare me off!
At his grunt, I turned despite my better judgment, and my eyes almost fell out of my head at the sight before me. Holden stood under the spray, the water sliding over his body in perfect rivets. It was a sight to behold.
But the thing that got me… his hand was wrapped ar ound his dick as he stroked it from root to tip. His head was thrown back, and no matter how much I told myself to look away, I couldn’t.
What. The. Fuck.
Arousal spread through me, and my clit responded in kind. My pussy pulsed with need, and my body lit up with electricity. Every place the water touched ignited a burning deep in my belly, and I shifted my legs, seeking some friction. This was so wrong, but I couldn’t seem to remember why.
Biting my lip, I looked up and met his eyes. I gasped, not expecting them to be locked on mine. The blue intensified, his pupils blown, and I kept watching him stroke his cock faster before he erupted. Holden moaned so deep I felt it in my toes. Cum spurted out in thick ropes, spilling over his hand and landing on the shower wall, floor, and even me.
The entire time, we held eyes, like a game of sex chicken, where we waited for the other to bail first. I did not want to lose.
It had to be his pull over me, this connection between us that kept us locked in this battle. Because I couldn’t find any other logical reason I didn’t push him out of the shower the second he made himself known.
This was not step-sibling behavior, but I couldn’t find it in myself to care.
This feeling was better than the hopelessness I’d drowned in all weekend. In this shower, I felt alive, and I wanted to capture that for as long as I could.
My breaths were erratic, but it didn’t stop me. Keeping his eyes on me, I lifted my finger and spread the cum that had landed on me over my belly, marking myself with him. Holden swallowed, his throat bobbing as he watched. And if it was possible, his eyes dilated more.
He might hate me, but he wanted me, and that felt really fucking good.
Scooping what was left of his cum on my finger, I brought it to my mouth and sucked it off my finger. Salty bitterness spread over my tongue, and I moaned as I licked my finger clean. My eyes threatened to close in pleasure, but I forced them open, needing to win this round more than anything else.
Holden snapped and rushed forward, pushing me against the shower wall. His arms caged me in, his naked body touching me from head to toe, and his cock, already hard again, leaked against my stomach. He rested his forehead against mine and squeezed his eyes closed, a groan rumbling up his throat like he was tortured.
I stood stock still; the game had shifted now. I might have won that round of sex chicken, but I wasn’t confident I’d win this one. I wanted to rub against him, cling to his biceps, and climb him like a tree. Holden Adler was too fucking sexy, and I was only so strong.
“Fuck,” he muttered, hitting his fist against the wall. His nose nuzzled my neck, and I felt his nostrils flare as he inhaled me. I could practically hear his thoughts as he wrestled with them. Panting, I didn’t dare move. Holden wrapped his hand around my hip and squeezed. Hard . For a brief moment, I expected him to lift me and thrust into me—condoms be damned.
I was so lost to the arousal that I would’ve let him.
But that wasn’t what Holden did. With one squeeze of my hip, his fingers digging into my skin, the bastard sucked on my neck and marked me.
Crying out, I gasped and leaned into him, but as quick as he’d pounced, he was gone, and I was left gasping against the wall, the water cold as it ran over me. It took me another five minutes to leave the shower, and Holden was long gone by then.
I might’ve won round one of our new game, but there was no doubt he’d won round two. Would I survive a round three ?
I should stay far away from Holden Adler. He was dangerous and a weakness I couldn’t afford. I needed to focus on Hope and proving she wasn’t the saint she claimed to be.
In spite of all that, I knew I wouldn’t.
Holden electrified me and brought me back to life. I couldn’t stop wanting him, regardless of who he was.
Dressed in black jeans with rips in the knees and a burgundy shirt, I entered my first class at Hayward. The classroom was full, so I took the empty seat in the middle between a guy and a girl. The girl ignored me, talking to her friend on her other side, and I tried to reassure myself it had nothing to do with Hope. Being the new kid sucked, no matter how old you were.
Setting up my laptop, I scanned the room to see if I recognized anyone. I hadn’t seen any of my classmates since graduation, but a familiar face was a familiar face.
“New here?” the guy on my left asked. I turned and took him in. He had chocolate brown hair and eyes to match, a kind smile, and an earnest look about him, like he was the type of guy to help little old ladies across the street and help you change your flat tire.
“That obvious?” I asked.
“Sorta. You got that wide-eyed look about you. Not that I can say much.” He leaned closer, the mint of his toothpaste filling the space. “I’m a freshman.” He mocked-gasped. “I know, I know, but I look so worldly!”
I laughed, liking his easy demeanor. “Your secret’s safe with me,” I whispered, smiling and feeling more at ease. “I’m a junior transfer, but I grew up close to here, so I unfortunately know some of these people.”
“Ah! Bad memories?” he asked, studying my face .
“Something like that.” My smile turned flat, and my heart rate sped up. Being at the same college as Hope, it would take a while to stop my anxiety. The professor walked in before we could talk more, and the class started. I took notes, ignoring the nagging feeling that had cropped up.
“Everyone, turn to the person next to you and introduce yourself. I’ll give you five minutes.”
I looked to my right, but the girl was already talking with her friend, so I glanced back to my left, not expecting him to be waiting for me.
“Hi, I’m Cody, a Biology major, and I enjoy long walks on the beach.”
“Hi, Cody. It’s too bad we live sixteen hours from the closest beach, then. It must be really sad to never get to do the thing you enjoy so much.”
“Thank you…” He lifted his brow, and I realized I hadn’t given him my name.
“Emerson.”
“Thank you, Emerson. It feels so nice to be understood.”
I giggled, not able to stop myself. There was just something about Cody that made me feel at ease. “You’re welcome, Cody.”
He smiled, a dimple popping out. “What’s your major and interest? I know it won’t be as cool as mine, but I’m willing to listen to how you believe yours is superior.”
Grinning, I relaxed in my seat. “I’m an English major and I enjoy sniffing old books.”
He scrunched up his nose. “Yep. Not as cool.”
“Hey! Books are amazing.” I playfully slapped his arm.
“Fine. I’ll let you believe that.” He laughed again. “In all seriousness, I’ve never actually been to the beach.” He cringed. “I play football, but won’t start this year because Adler is a freaking beast. I’m just excited to learn as much as I can from him before he’s drafted.”
I swallowed at the mention of Holden’s name, my body tingling in response to his name like a trigger word. “Oh? Is he good? Newbie, remember.”
“I don’t want to sound like a stalker, but he’s why I came here. I’m a bit of a fanboy. I wouldn’t be surprised if he went first overall this year.”
I lifted my eyebrows. “Wow. That’s something.”
Cody grinned, and I could tell how much he admired Holden. I wondered what he’d think if he knew Holden was my step-brother.
“So, what do you do when you’re not sniffing old books?”
“Um, well, I dance.”
“Yeah?” He smiled, scanning me, and I shifted at the feel of his gaze. Why did people need to look at my body when they learned that? His eyes landed on my neck and my cheeks heated at the reminder of Holden’s mark.
“Yep. At Brighton, I had a dance crew. It was fun.” My words were clipped and his brows creased at them. Thankfully, before I had to say more, the professor interrupted and brought everyone’s attention back to her.
“Now that you know your neighbor, say hello to your partner. There will be no trading. Don’t even try to ask. You’re a college student now, so deal with it. I don’t care if your sorority sister dated their cousin and broke up with them to date someone in a rival sorority.” The professor rolled her eyes, the look odd on someone so distinguished. “So, put your hands down and know that you will be given an F for the first project if you ask me to make an exception. Turn your books to page twenty and scan the available ethnographic assignments to select from. It’s on a first-come basis, so if you dally, you lose out. You have until the end of the period to tell my TA. Welcome to Anthropology.” The professor smiled before walking out the door at the bottom of the lecture hall.
Books flew open, and people gathered to find their topic. After reading the syllabus a few weeks ago, I’d looked at the topics, so I already knew which one I wanted. The fact it helped in my quest to take down Hope was purely coincidental.
“I want to do ‘How do rumors on social media affect group dynamics,’” I rushed out.
“I’m guessing you have a group in mind?”
I nodded. He searched my eyes, and I tried to show my seriousness without appearing too desperate.
“All right. You want to tell the TA or me?”
“I will. Thanks, Cody.” I smiled and stood, climbing over my row and heading down the stairs. A few people were in front of me, and I bounced on my feet as I nervously waited.
“Name and topic?” the TA drawled without looking at me.
“Emerson Adams and Cody… shoot, I don’t know his last name.” The TA sighed and rolled his eyes. He scanned the roster and stopped.
“You’re in luck. Only one Cody. What’s the topic?”
“Social media and group dynamics.”
“Here’s the template. Be sure to get any releases you need before your observation.” He handed me a packet, and I smiled, feeling relief we’d gotten the one I wanted.
I’d only taken one step back to my seat when phones started to go off, their chirping and buzzing a sound I was all too familiar with. My breath quickened, and I froze, praying I was just imagining it. She said she wouldn’t do anything. Had it all been a ploy to get me to let my guard down?
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I relaxed. If Hope had been up to her old antics, I wouldn’t have gotten the mass text, too. At least, I tried to convince myself of that.
Taking out my phone, my hands shook, and it took a few attempts to unlock it. The noise around me grew, but I pushed it aside, focusing my attention on the device in my hand.
A text from an unknown number appeared, and I knew who it was from. Cold dread ran down my spine, and the room spun as I read the messages.
Unknown: You should’ve stayed invisible, Emerson.
Unknown: Now I’ll have to show the school how much of a fat loser you are.
With shaky fingers, I replied, unable to stop myself.
Emerson: Why are you doing this?
Unknown: You’re a pathetic muppet, and you’ll never be on the dance team.
Unknown: Keep trying, though. It’s fun to watch you fall.
Tears ran down my cheeks, making the faces around me blur. The sound amplified, and I couldn’t tell if they were laughing at me or if it was normal. Meeting Cody’s eyes through my tears, I found the answer. Pity. His eyes held pity.
My feet finally unfroze, and I bolted out the door the professor had left through earlier. I didn’t care if I wasn’t supposed to. I just had to get out of there and away from that look. People shouted, but I didn’t listen; I was too focused on getting to a safe place.
But that was it… nowhere was safe. Not anymore. Hayward was Hope’s school, and I’d ignorantly believed I could take her down.