Chapter 15
CHAPTER
FIFTEEN
EMERSON
Tears blinded me as I ran through the hall, my feet moving me in a direction far from the humiliation. God, I’d been so dumb. Why had I thought I could take Hope on? I was an amateur compared to her. I’d never be able to stand up to her bullying. Hope would always win.
Arms wrapped around me right before I crashed into a hard body. I deflated, the flight response leaving me now that I’d been captured.
“Whoa. Mer, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
Large hands smoothed over my face, wiping the tears and pushing my hair away. I squeezed my eyes shut in response, believing it couldn’t hurt me if I ignored reality. Unfortunately, the body I’d smacked into didn’t hold the same belief and tilted my head up, their thumbs caressing my cheeks in a soft gesture.
“Who did this to you?”
I shook my head. I couldn’t. It was always worse if I spoke up. Always.
“Mer, please. Let me help. ”
The bell rang, and I tensed as voices filled the halls of the Humanities building. My heart sped back up, and I struggled to breathe. A heavy arm wrapped around me, the smell of cotton and sea breeze infiltrating my panic, and I relaxed against my better judgment. My body was moved and pulled into a lap. I snuggled into the person, my body knowing who it was even if I refused to believe it.
Part of me wanted to push him away. If Hope saw us together, she’d take him, too. But I couldn’t seem to make my mouth move. It felt nice to be held, to let him shoulder the burden as I soaked in his comfort. Eventually, my heart rate slowed, and my breathing returned to normal as the adrenaline left my body. I relaxed further into his embrace, his steady heartbeat soothing my frayed nerves.
“Merbear?” His voice was so soft that I couldn’t ignore him any longer.
Lifting my head, I opened my eyes slowly and took in Colter’s concerned hazel eyes. People bustled around us, supposedly heading to their next class, but Colter ignored them and just held me.
The wound in my heart relished his attention, and I was dangerously close to shifting from having a crush to liking him… a lot.
“What happened, baby?”
My heart flipped at the term, and my words evaporated off my tongue. I stared at him, wishing I could curl up in his arms forever and let him deal with it for me.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I whispered. Had he not gotten the alert? It seemed like everyone in my class had. Hope was a lot of things, but a technical genius wasn’t one of them. Unless she had a new minion, there was no way she knew how to send it only to my class. Besides, that wasn’t her style. She took every opportunity to kick me, to remind me she had all the power .
“There you are,” a voice said from behind me, and I tensed. Colter’s face changed, and I watched him go from caring to menacing. Whoever it was didn’t take the hint to leave. “Oh, hey, Donovan. I brought Emerson’s stuff. She… forgot them in class.”
It was then I realized it was Cody. Shame washed over me, and my face heated at the reminder my entire class had seen something Hope had sent. Whatever it was, I knew it wouldn’t be good.
“Thanks. I’ll make sure she gets it.”
“Yeah, all right.” Cody cleared his throat. “Emerson?”
I shook my head. I couldn’t look at him and see more pity. Once had been enough.
“Okay, well, I put my number in your book.” Colter’s chest rumbled, and I realized it was from a growl. “Easy, Donovan. It’s not like that. We have a class project together.”
It’s not like that.
Why did that sting so much? I wasn’t interested in Cody, but his rejection still hurt. He’d been flirting before the video, so whatever was on it must be embarrassing enough that he’d lost interest.
Apparently, I’d unknowingly tensed at his words, and Colter frowned down at me. His eyes narrowed, but I shook my head that it wasn’t anything. Whatever was on my face wasn’t convincing, and he glared at Cody, his eyes shooting daggers. I felt terrible for Cody about whatever conclusion Colter had drawn, but I didn’t have it in me to correct it. This new side of Colter was doing things to my lady parts. It felt nice to have someone stand up for me. I’d never had that before.
“Whoa! Slow your roll, Donovan. I didn’t, it’s not, what,” he stuttered, pulling on my heartstrings.
Okay, I couldn’t let him suffer because I was too chicken to face him. We did have a project to do, and I didn’t want it to be anymore awkward. Lifting my head, I placed my hand on Colter’s cheek and pulled his face to me. He resisted, but eventually let me guide him away from murdering Cody with his eyes.
“It wasn’t him. He’s not the…” I shook my head, emotions clogging the rest of the words. Colter relaxed, eyes bouncing between mine, and nodded once he found whatever he needed. He kissed my forehead before returning to Cody.
“Do you know what happened?” he asked.
I tensed. Shit. I hadn’t thought this through. I opened my mouth to protest but didn’t know what to say, so I turned my head and pleaded with Cody to be quiet. He glanced down, his face softening when his eyes met mine, before a look of regret appeared.
“Sorry, Emerson, but Donovan’s got scary eyes right now, and I don’t want him to ‘forget to block’ during practice, and I get flattened. I’ve got too many dreams to risk an injury before it’s my time to shine.”
Cody was so damn earnest it was hard to be mad at him for spilling. But what surprised me was the news that Colter played football. Was there anyone on this campus who didn’t?
Cody lifted his eyes, and I knew my secret shame would change how Colter looked at me. So, I braced for it, pulling away, but Colter’s arms stayed wrapped tightly around me.
“I don’t know who did it, but an email was sent to the entire school with a video link.” He paused, clearing his throat. My cheeks heated. Whatever it was, it was bad. “It’s of Emerson.”
Of course, Colter couldn’t leave it at that. He pulled out his phone and checked his email, finding the right one and clicking on the link. With his arm gone, I successfully climbed off his lap and scooted down the bench to where Cody had placed my bag. I couldn’t handle Colter’s disgust with his arms around me. Feeling the loss of them would be too hard.
“What the fuck?” he said, hissing out the words. I tensed, hiding my eyes and pretending to look through my bag. “Mer, what is this?” His voice was harsh, and I knew I’d already lost him.
I shrugged one shoulder and wiped the tears that had reappeared.
“Hey! Don’t attack her,” Cody shouted, stunning me. I glanced up in surprise and found something in his eyes I hadn’t seen before—recognition.
“Shit, I’m sorry, Mer. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“It’s fine.” It wasn’t fine. “I gotta go.” I stood, and he reached for me, but I jerked out of his path.
“Mer. Come on. Let me help.”
Keeping my eyes on the floor, I shook my head. “No one can. Bye, Colter.”
Why did that feel like a real goodbye? I took off, and I heard Cody holding him back.
“Let her go, Donovan.”
“Fuck off, Rivers. I’ll go after my girl if I want to.”
“Well, your girl wants to be alone, and right now, I care more about her than you. So sit and calm your ass down before you dig yourself a hole you can’t get out of.”
I turned the corner and lost their conversation. Cody had surprised me. Maybe I’d made a friend after all.
Walking outside, I kept my head down and ignored everyone as best as possible. The stares of Hayward College followed me to my car, zapping all the energy Holden’s arousal had given me. I needed to get out of here. Tossing my stuff into the back seat, I froze at the sight of the roses. Not one, but a whole dozen. My hands shook as I picked up the heavy cardstock lying on top of the wrapped bundle .
It’s so hard not to spoil you. Enjoy your first day and my little gift.
I can’t wait to be reunited with you, Princess.
Every trace of self-pity evaporated at the words, and my eyes moved to the long-stem roses. It wasn’t enough to humiliate me in front of the entire school. No, Hope had to rub her victory in with roses. It was another reminder of how pathetic I was and how easily I fell for everything she did. The fact she thought she spoiled me was comical. I could do with a little less attention from Hope.
“I don’t want your fucking gifts!”
The secret admirer gag had been one of the worst ways she’d hurt me in the past. I’d fallen so easily for it that it was embarrassing. It had felt so good to believe someone saw me through all the bullying. It gave me the courage to keep going. That I wasn’t as much of a loser as Hope made me believe. If someone liked me enough to leave roses and notes, then there was hope my life could change.
There had been Hope, but not the kind I’d needed.
It was just a ploy, another way to torment and emphasize how worthless I was. Because no one would ever love me enough to send me roses; no one would ever want me for anything real.
I would never be chosen.
The reminder of how lonely my life would be after Colter had held me through my tears was too much, and I snapped.
Picking up the bouquet, I smacked the roses against the side of my car. Over and over, I lifted them into the air and brought them down. Red petals flew everywhere, circling me like a cloud of red The Bachelor would be impressed by. People gaped, their phones pointed at me as they recorded my breakdown .
But I didn’t care. Everyone already thought I was a loser, thanks to Hope, so why bother?
Arms snagged me around the middle and lifted me away from the car. I fought, wiggling and slapping the person. The stems fell in the struggle, their thorns nicking my fingers and drawing blood. I felt nothing. I heard nothing. Blood pounded in my ears, and I fought to get free.
“Let me go! Let me go!” The person ignored me, carrying me away from the parking lot into a dark building. “No! No!” I screamed, my voice growing raw, and I wondered if I’d been screaming at my car. “You can’t do this. I’m sick of being the victim. She’s gone too far. Put me down!” I kicked out, but whoever had me was too strong.
“ Wildcat ! Stop!”
At Wildcat, I stopped, hating how easily my body responded to his commands. All the fight left me, and I hung lifelessly in his grip. Two adrenaline crashes in one day had taken a toll.
“Shit, you’re bleeding.”
Holden moved, pushing open a door and finally placing my feet on the ground. With gentle movements, he turned me around and lifted my chin. I stared into his eyes, but felt nothing.
No electricity.
No heat.
Nothing.
His eyes searched mine, something flashing in them as he scanned me, but I dropped his gaze and stared at the floor.
Holden lifted me, and I let him move me like the puppet Hope claimed me to be. The fight was gone, and all that was left was numbness. He didn’t talk as he cleaned my wounds. It was only then I recognized we were in a bathroom. With soft swipes, he cleaned the blood off my arms and fingers and took his time with each digit. Warmth seeped into me the longer I sat on the counter, the numbness wearing off with each caress.
“Why are you being nice to me? I thought you hated me?”
“You might be the enemy, Wildcat, but I don’t hate you.” He glanced up, his aquamarine eyes swirling, and I wished I was brave enough to ask him why.
“I don’t want to be the enemy,” I whispered.
Holden stared, his throat bobbing, and I wished I could read his mind. If I wasn’t his step-sister, would he want me? If it wasn’t for Hope, would we be together?
The answers didn’t matter. Because I was his step-sister and Hope was his sister. We couldn’t change those two things. I would always be the enemy.
Holden’s thumb brushed against the mark he’d left on me this morning; the pad of his thumb sending shivers as he pressed the sensitive flesh.
“It doesn’t matter what we want,” he said, eerily echoing my thoughts.
Sucking in a breath, I nodded and slipped off the counter. His body caged me between him and the counter, blocking me from leaving. We stood in silence, my eyes on his chest, and my fingers itched to touch him.
But I couldn’t. I shouldn’t. I wouldn’t.
“Let me go, Holden.” The words hurt to say, but they needed to be said. We couldn’t keep doing this, sex chicken or not. I wouldn’t survive.
Holden’s body tightened, and I wondered if he wouldn’t let me. Then, slowly, he stepped back, giving me enough space to slip through.
Once I was clear of his body, I could breathe better, and his intoxicating scent no longer filled my nostrils. Why did he have to smell like a fancy cabin?
I managed to take two steps away before he hauled me back to him. Holden lifted me, and my legs naturally wrapped around his waist seconds before my back hit a wall and his lips were on me.
This kiss was desperate, sloppy, and full of passion. My toes curled, and I forgot my name. I forgot about the video and the roses. I forgot everything outside of this moment where our lips met.
Hands gripped me, his cock nudging my center, and I was so lost in him that I would’ve let him do anything to me right then.
A door slammed, and he froze, his body stilling beneath me. Holden turned his head, and I hid in his chest, reality sneaking in and reminding me how bad of an idea this was. We couldn’t be together. This was only a ploy to get the upper hand.
And just like with his sister, I fell for it.
“Uh, sorry, man. I’ll use another restroom.” The door shut again, and silence returned.
“Put me down. This was a mistake.”
Holden’s muscles became stone. He slowly turned his head, his blue eyes simmering with undiluted rage and lust. Then he blinked, and it disappeared. The cold mask he’d worn since stepping into my father’s house returned. His hands squeezed my thighs once before stepping back and lowering me. My legs wobbled, but I maintained my footing and rushed out the door.
The more distance I put between us, the more in charge I felt, and by the time I reached my car, I felt steadier. Stems and petals littered the area around my car, but I ignored them and pulled my bookbag out of the back.
At least one good thing had occurred.
Holden had reminded me I couldn’t let them win.
I wouldn’t run this time.
Hope needed to be held responsible, and I couldn’t do that if I folded. I didn’t care what these students thought about me—well, maybe two of them—so to hell with them all. I wouldn’t be here next year, anyway. But Hope would, and she cared a lot about what they believed.
With a renewed purpose, I held my head high, despite having red and tear-stained cheeks. If they wanted to laugh, I’d make them face the pain it caused. I wouldn’t hide so they could ignore how their taunts and jeers affected a person.
I’d dare them to look me in the eye and ignore my pain.
The benefit of losing everything—there was nothing left to be taken. So, I’d wear my scars and show my battle wounds. I’d be damned if she took these from me, too.