Chapter 25
CHAPTER
TWENTY-FIVE
EMERSON
Gasping, I awoke from a noise and clutched my pillow to my chest. It was pitch black in my room and eerily still. I laid motionless as I listened, searching for the sound that had awakened me. My eyes felt like sandpaper, and my cheeks were stained dry with tears. It had been a long time since I’d cried myself to sleep. But after dealing with Hope, I had nothing left, and I’d come home and crashed. I barely remembered texting with Colter.
My heart hurt at the reminder. How had everything gone to shit so quickly?
Sighing, I sat up when I heard nothing and reached for the lamp on my nightstand. My phone sat on top, but I’d turned it off after blocking him. I couldn’t deal with any more texts.
Regret for sending the article filled me, and my gut sank. When I’d told Cody my idea, he’d been on board and had helped me find studies to support our claims. He’d told me about BlackDiamond and how they could get the evidence from high school. I didn’t know how they’d obtained it or even how they got my story into the Hayward Chronicle, but it was probably best I didn’t. Plausible deniability and all that.
The confidence I felt while writing, and then submitting it after our faceoff, had long evaporated, and I hated that I’d let Hope steal something else from me.
One day at a time.
Checking the time, I frowned. It was past midnight. Someone should be home by now. I didn’t know if I was relieved or saddened that no one had come by to check on me. I guess it was the answer I needed.
It hadn’t been real. No one cares.
Climbing out of bed, I stood and turned toward the bathroom.
“Going somewhere?”
“What the hell!” I screamed, jumping and clutching my chest.
Holden sat on the floor, leaning against the wall. His knees were bent, his arms lying across the top of them, and his hair was all askew. He looked distraught. I ran to him, forgetting everything Hope had said. Dropping to my knees, I hovered over him and looked for an injury.
“Holden, what happened?” I whispered. He didn’t seem injured, but the look on his face made my breath catch.
“Why did you do it?”
I reared back. “What?”
“You promised, Emerson.”
Blood pounded in my ears, and the room spun. I swallowed, urging the words to come. “I had to, Holden. I couldn’t keep hiding.”
His aquamarine eyes hardened, and I reared back. They were full of loathing. Even when I thought he’d hated me, they’d never looked like this.
“It’s all your fault,” he accused.
Tears filled my eyes, and I scooted back more. “I, I, I don’t understand,” I whispered .
“Hope’s in the hospital.”
“What?” My mouth dropped open.
The cruelty I was more familiar seeing from his sister covered his handsome face. “You got what you wanted. Hope’s been dethroned and now she’ll be lucky to walk again. You win, Emerson.” Holden stood, staring down at me on the floor. “All I asked was for you to keep your promise, but you couldn’t even do that. We’re done. Don’t talk to me. Don’t look at me. Don’t even be in the same room as me. I can’t stand to look at you.”
He walked out, leaving me gasping on the floor as my heart slowly bled out.
I always believed Hope made the killing blow long ago, but I’d been wrong.
So very wrong.
The cruelest step belonged to Holden.
My body gave out, and I collapsed onto the carpet and sobbed. His words shattered the last bit of strength I had.
Why had I believed he was different? Hope was right; I was a gullible fool.
I didn’t know how long I cried on the floor, but eventually, it slowed to a hiccup. My head throbbed, and my eyes felt swollen from all the crying. Pulling myself off the floor, I crawled toward my phone and turned it on. I needed to know what was going on. I couldn’t hide from this.
The instant my phone came on, it chimed with notifications faster than I could read. There were messages from unknown numbers, comments from the Hayward Chronicle, missed calls, and multiple DMs. Clearing them all out, I opened Cody’s messages and scrolled through them. Stopping on the last messages, my finger hovered over it.
Cody: You did it, Peanut! The article is brilliant
Cody: So much shit went down. I don’t know where to start.
Cody: Someone hit Hope with their car.
Cody: Call me when you get this. There’s more, but I don’t want to type it.
“Holy shit.” I clicked on his name, not caring how late it was. Cody would answer. I just knew it.
“Peanut, thank fuck you’re okay.” He sounded relieved, and my guilt at shutting him out coated me.
“Hey, sorry. I turned my phone off. What’s, um, what’s going on?”
“Are you home?”
“Yeah.” I swallowed. I didn’t miss how he hadn’t answered.
“Can you drive?”
“Um, sure. Why?”
“I’ll text you an address. I think it’s best you come here. Bring a change of clothes.”
“Okay. You’re scaring me. What’s going on?”
“One second—” The phone moved, and I heard rustling before it cleared. It sounded like voices, but I couldn’t make it out. “I’ll explain when you’re here. Be safe, Peanut.”
“Yeah. All right.”
The call ended, and I blinked while my muddled brain attempted to make sense of everything, but not finding a plausible reason. Who had hit Hope? Why couldn’t Cody talk over the phone? Where was I going?
My phone vibrated, the text with the address, and I jumped into action. Grabbing my bag, I tossed in underwear, leggings, socks, tanks, and a hoodie. Pulling on jeans and a top, I brushed my hair back and twisted it into a messy bun. After showering out the red slushie earlier, I’d gone to bed with it wet again, and it was a mess. Quietly, I tiptoed into the bathroom, grabbed my toiletries, and threw them in. Adding a charger and my school books, I slung the bag over my shoulder with my shoes in my hand.
Carefully, I opened my door and shut it without a sound. I took the back stairs to avoid crossing in front of Holden’s room and slipped down the stairs. The kitchen light was on, and I paused at the bottom.
“Do you think all the stuff Emmy said is true?” I heard Rose ask.
“It’s hard to remember back then. I wasn’t in the best place, so it could be. She seemed so sad, but I assumed it was because of Katie’s death.”
“I just can’t believe my child is capable of such things,” Rose said, her words full of tears. “I hate how I responded. Maybe she wouldn’t?—”
“Stop, Rose. You can’t do that. It’s no one’s fault but the person who hit her.”
“You’re right. I just feel so helpless.”
“We’ll get through this. I’ll sell whatever I have to ensure she gets the best care.”
“Oh, Milton.” Rose broke into tears, and I took my chance to sneak out the door. My heart felt heavy, and I needed to get out of here before I crumbled from everything. I needed answers.
I made it out of the drive with no issues and headed to the address. It took me longer than I expected, and it was almost two in the morning by the time I pulled into the apartment complex. Grabbing my bags, I jogged up to the number Cody had said and took a deep breath before knocking. The door was instantly pulled open, and I wondered if he’d been watching.
Except it wasn’t Cody who answered.
“Mer,” Colter said, drawing me into his arms before I could protest. His hug felt good after the sting of rejection from Holden. So, despite my better judgment, I allowed myself to sink into his arms for a second.
“This isn’t a good idea,” I said, withdrawing. The hurt was visible on Colter’s face and the wall I’d put up earlier began to crack. Had Hope lied? It wouldn’t be the first time. Shit. Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to sort through the lies and truths concerning my relationships at the moment.
“What’s going on? Holden…” I shook my head. I couldn’t say it.
“Here,” Cody said, handing me a mug.
“Hot chocolate?” I asked, lifting a brow.
He shrugged. “Sheldon Cooper always makes his friends a warm beverage. I thought I’d try it.”
Chuckling, I took a sip and couldn’t deny it did make me feel slightly better. Cody walked me to the couch and pressed me into the cushion. Colter took the seat next to me, but made sure to keep his distance. The lack of touch hurt more than I wanted to admit to myself. Cody took the chair positioned next to the sofa, clasping his hands in front of him. I sipped my hot chocolate, the warmth licking up my spine and comforting me. When neither of them spoke, I glanced between them.
“Neither of you going to mention how weird it is you’re together? Is this a thing now? You’re friends?”
“What? Rivers isn’t that bad,” Colter joked.
“I’m badass, Donovan, and you know it.” Cody spread his legs, leaning back in the chair, and smirked.
“Okay, this is too weird. Care to explain why I’m here at two in the morning drinking hot chocolate?” That sobered them, and they shared a glance before Colter took over.
“What happened before the game, Mer?”
I suddenly regretted pressing the conversation. “Not much,” I lied, dropped my eyes, and focused on the liquid in my mug .
“This isn’t the time for lies. There’s a lot of shit going on, Peanut,” Cody admonished in his Cody way.
I ducked my head as my cheeks heated. He was right. I blew out a breath and bit my lip, my eyes ping-ponging between them. Rip off the Band-aid!
“Hope left me roses with a note saying she couldn’t wait for me to dance. Inside my cubby was a dance uniform and Wolfette jacket. You know, the ones all the girls wear with their names on it. Well, instead of my name, it said, um, it said...”
“What did it say, Mer?” Colter asked gently. He took my hand, giving me time to pull away before smoothing his thumb over it.
“Fat Muppet,” I whispered.
“Fucking bitch,” Cody cursed.
Colter’s jaw tensed, but he pressed on. “What else?”
I both loved and hated how observant he was.
“I put the roses in Hope’s locker, got dressed as Wolfie, and tried to leave. But then the other girls cornered me and dumped red slushies down the back of my costume.” I dropped my eyes. I hated reliving this.
“What did you do with my gift?”
“Yours?” I tilted my head, trying to remember if I saw anything. I shook my head. “There wasn’t anything other than the roses and uniform. Honestly, I thought at first that you’d left the roses.”
Colter frowned. “No. I left a miniature Magic 8-Ball with a note and, um, a keychain.”
“Oh. That’s, um, sweet.” I smiled, wishing I’d found it. We stared at one another, and more cracks appeared in my shield.
“Not to break up this Hallmark moment, but did anything else happen? Why did you send the article? I thought you weren’t after talking to Holden,” Cody pressed.
“Right. Um. Let’s see. I left the locker room and debated leaving, but I didn’t want to let you guys down, so I was trying to find the courage to go out on the field when Hope cornered me.”
“What did she say, Mer?” Colter asked, his brows drawn low.
I sucked in a breath, tears gathering in my eyes at the memory. “A lot of hurtful things. She triggered all of my insecurities, and by the end, I couldn’t tell fact from fiction. She said…” I shook my head. I didn’t want to say it out loud.
“Go on. We need to know, Merbear.” Cotler’s eyes were so intense that the gold specks simmered. Hearing the familiar term of endearment broke the rest of my shields. I needed to know the truth and quit accepting everything Hope said at face value.
“She claimed Holden was fooling me and that you and she…” Colter squeezed my hand and I swallowed. “That you were engaged, or getting engaged, but she let you have your freedom now,” I paused, narrowing my own brows in thought as I pieced together the lies. “I was just a fling, and you were done with me or something.”
“That bitch,” Cody said, drawing my attention. He frowned. “Is it wrong to say that now? Why do I feel bad?” He groaned, throwing his head back against the seat cushion.
“Mer, look at me,” Colter urged, turning my face back to his. “I know my history is full of girls on campus, but I promise I have never touched—or even desired to—kiss, or hook-up with Hope. I promise. She was lying. The only girl I’ve had eyes for this semester is you .”
I searched his eyes, but I knew he wasn’t trying to fool me. It was in the way he spoke to me, the gentle touches, and all the texts he’d sent me over the past month. I hated that my self-worth was so destroyed that I believed Hope’s lies over the blatant truth. That was something I needed to work on. The first step, apologizing for doubting him.
“I’m sorry. You’ve given me no reason to doubt you. She’s just so convincing, and the years of only hearing her voice made it hard to trust my own. But that’s no excuse for hurting you.”
Colter moved closer, cupping my face with his hands and brushing his thumbs over my cheeks as he stared at me intently. “Mer, I was so worried when you didn’t show that I almost left the game. Without the risk of scaring you, I have big feelings for you. It felt like the world had fallen out from under me when you blocked me.”
For the first time, I saw Colter’s scars. I’d been so focused on myself that I hadn’t looked closely enough. He struggled with feeling like he was enough, too. Kissing his lips softly, I fell into his arms, wanting to be as close as possible. His arms wrapped around me, and he held me tightly. We sat like that for a few minutes until Cody brought us back to the topic.
“What happened after you talked with Hope?”
I wiped my cheeks and sat up, but Colter didn’t let me go far. “It felt like I had nothing left to lose, so I messaged BlackDiamond to go forward with the article. After that, I left. I came home and showered the slushy out of my hair. By then, you had texted, so I responded, then turned off my phone and fell asleep.”
“And you’ve been asleep the whole time?” Colter asked.
“Yeah. Until I woke up and found Holden in my room.”
“Wait, what?” Colter stared down at me, worried. “What did he say?”
I swallowed, emotion thick in my throat. “He asked why I broke my promise and then told me he was done with me.” I shrugged my shoulders like his words hadn’t decimated my heart and crushed my soul.
“Fuck. He disappeared after the hospital.” Colter ran a hand through his hair.
“He mentioned a car hit Hope?”
“Yeah,” Cody said, hesitating, so I turned toward him. “I showed Donovan the article, and he shared it with Holden, who then went to confront Hope. I think Rose ended up with my phone at one point. Hope’s friend had pulled up the article by then, and everything escalated from there. She kept lying about you, and Holden, well, he didn’t let her.”
“Once Hope realized something was happening, she panicked and knocked all their phones down, but the damage was done. She took off, and that’s when the car came out of nowhere.”
“Shit.” My heart raced at the relay of events. There was no love lost between myself and Hope, and I’d thought about pushing her in front of a car numerous times, but that was the extent of my fantasy.
“That’s not even the worst part… You took your mascot uniform with you?” Colter asked, switching gears.
“Yeah. I stripped down in the parking lot and tossed it in my backseat.”
Cody bolted up, standing over me. “It’s still there?”
I frowned. “Yes.”
Colter stood, and together they raced toward the door. I rolled my eyes. They wouldn’t be able to get into my car without my keys. Standing, I followed them outside at a leisurely pace, finding them standing by the car, and looking into the backseat.
“Your windows are tinted.”
“Yessss,” I drawled, looking between them. “What’s going on? Why are you obsessed with my car and uniform?” I crossed my arms. I’d wait them out until they explained.
“Open the door, Mer. I promise we’ll explain.”
Sighing, I hit the key fob, and the car beeped. Cody dove into the backseat and pulled out the costume.
“I got two paws, two feet, and a body. Where’s the head, Peanut?”
I shrugged. “It should be back there.” I replayed the scene from earlier when I’d stripped down and tossed it in. “Actually, I don’t remember having the head on…” I trailed off .
Cody and Colter exchanged another look, fear etched on their faces. Something wasn’t right. They were acting too weird.
“Explain your weirdness. Now .”
“This is very important, Mer. Do you remember where you had it last?”
I huffed and thought back. I had it off when I talked to Hope. “I took it off to confront Hope. Why? You’re both freaking me out.”
“The car that hit Hope,” Cody said, swallowing. “The driver was wearing Wolfie’s head.”
“But that’s not possible…”
Their fear suddenly made sense. It looked like I’d been the one behind the wheel. People would believe I’d taken out my bully right after publishing that article.
Holy fucking shit.