Chapter 30
CHAPTER
THIRTY
EMERSON
Holden stood and opened his mouth, then shut it tightly. He balled his fists at his sides and paced the length of the small living room. The muscles in his arms were corded, and he looked seconds away from detonating.
He’d stop, open his mouth, snap it closed and resume his pacing. He did this a few times, never uttering any words, only motioning toward me with his hands like he was having a conversation in his head. Or wanted to strangle me. It could go either way.
Colter watched him, his brow deeply furrowed. When he turned to me, his face was devoid of its usual smile. “We need to go to the cops.”
I bit my lip. I knew he was right, but telling more people was horrifying. Holden finally stopped his pacing. There was no longer any gaping, only a glare and his arms crossed. Glancing between them, I took in their concerned gazes and sighed in defeat.
“I’ll call and see if they can come here.” Colter stood and pulled out his phone and stepped into the kitchen. Holden and I continued to stare at one another, the familiar electricity sizzling like a low-level current.
He strode forward with measured steps, allowing me to tell him to go away if I wanted. Or at least that was how I interpreted it. He took the spot Colter had vacated and turned his body toward me. His jaw twitched once before he attempted to gather himself. I could practically see the effort it was taking him not to touch me.
“The temptation to lock you in a room and make you stay there forever is strong.”
“Why?” I asked.
Holden growled. “Because then no one could harm you. You’d be safe.” He let out a deep breath. “I know I’m shit at showing it, but I do care about you, Em. So, I’m fighting my urges. But it’s not easy.”
“I don’t need you to fight for me,” I whispered. Deep down, that felt like a lie, but I wanted to seem strong in front of him, despite wanting nothing more than to let someone else handle this.
“I know you don’t, but it doesn’t mean I don’t want to. The thought of you hurt makes me feel out of control, which I hate.” He cleared his throat. “I don’t deserve a second chance, but I’m taking it since you’re giving it to me. But I don’t want to ruin it on the first day. So I’m trying. I’ll give you space, but I need to know you’re safe, too. Promise me you won’t do anything where you’d put yourself in a vulnerable situation.”
I didn’t have to think about it. I wasn’t a hero. “I promise.”
His shoulders relaxed, and he nodded, letting out a sigh of relief. “Good. Thank you, Wildcat.”
I wanted to tell him to stop calling me that, but I was too greedy for the affection to speak up. Colter stepped back into the room and took the empty chair.
“They’re gonna send someone over. You should hand over the mascot head when they’re here. ”
I nodded. It made sense. I had nothing to hide and could prove I was home. Thank you, surveillance footage.
The kitchen timer went off, startling us. I jumped up to turn it off and pulled out the dish. As I pulled back the lid, peppers and spices permeated the air while I stirred, and both men groaned.
“That smells delicious, Mer.” Colter smiled, and I was happy to see it back. They worked together to set the table, and the three of us sat down, our plates full of Mexican lasagna. I waited for them to take bites before I did so I could see their reactions. The moans of approval and eye rolls said everything.
“Holy shit, Mer. This is amazing.”
“I think this is my new favorite thing,” Holden added. “Thank you for cooking.”
My insides warmed, and I nodded. “I’m glad you like it.”
Holden and Colter discussed the game and what they needed to work on this week before their next one. It was nice to sit and listen without any pressure to contribute. I didn’t feel left out and was happy to be included in little ways. They finished the casserole, and we were washing dishes when the knock came. Colter dried his hands and went to answer it.
“We got you,” Holden said, squeezing my shoulder. We dried our hands and joined Colter. A middle-aged woman with short brown hair, dressed in black slacks and a white button-down top with a badge on her hip, watched us as we approached. A uniformed cop stood beside her, and he lit up when he spotted Holden.
“Holden Adler. Great game the other night.” He stepped forward and reached out to shake Holden’s hand.
“Thank you.” Holden returned the shake, then steered me to sit next to Colter. Holden moved behind the couch, giving me the support he had spoken of. My earlier declaration was wavering. He was so good in these small moments, but I knew it was right. We needed to learn how to trust each other.
The woman watched us before taking a seat in the chair. With five people in this room, it suddenly felt claustrophobic.
“Hello, I’m Detective Jennings, and this is Officer Fields. Your friend said you have some information about last night’s hit and run.”
“Yes.” She took out a pad of paper and marked something down.
“Can you tell me your name, address, and age?”
I listed it off for her. My heart beat quicker with each second, and I rubbed my sweaty palms on the top of my leggings.
“And you’re waiving your right to talk to us with a lawyer present?”
“Yes.”
My dad would probably tell me I was being dumb, but now that we’d begun rolling in this direction, I didn’t want to stop.
“What can you tell us?”
Colter squeezed my thigh and then laced our fingers together. Holden massaged the back of my neck, and the tension I’d been carrying all day ebbed away. I decided to keep the bullying out of it and started with Monsieur Owen and the things he’d leave me and how they had started to reappear when I came to Hayward.
“But you have no real evidence he was the one leaving the messages and roses?” she asked.
My heart sank. “No, I guess not.”
“And outside of your time with him four years ago, you haven’t interacted with him?”
Again, I said no.
“Do you have any of the roses?”
Another no.
“What about the notes? ”
“Yes.” My heart perked up. “There’s one in my car with the head.”
She glanced at her partner, and he nodded. “Can one of your friends take Officer Fields to retrieve them?”
“I’ll go,” Holden said. I told him where my keys were, and they walked out together.
“I’ll be honest, it’s not much to go on. It’s mostly conjecture and hearsay.” I opened my mouth to protest, and she held up her hand to stop me. “I’ll look into Owen’s whereabouts in the meantime. That is something we can verify. We’ll scan the two items you have for evidence and get back to you.”
“That’s all?” Colter asked. “She’s being targeted.”
Detective Jennings moved her focus to him. “From my standpoint, there hasn’t been anything dangerous targeted toward your friend. If anything, it sounds like romantic gestures. We’ll look into the hit-and-run, but I’m not convinced the two are connected. If I were you, I’d look closer to home for the roses and messages.”
She didn’t believe me .
I didn’t know why it surprised me. No one ever did. I sank into the couch, the last of the fight leaving me.
“Here’s my card. If there are any other gifts, call me, and I’ll send out a cruiser to document them.” She paused long enough to make me look up. “I wouldn’t leave the area. I’ll be in touch.”
She headed out the door, meeting Holden as he returned. Once the door shut, I slumped back onto the couch.
“Great. She thinks I’m making it up and responsible for hitting Hope. We should’ve kept it to ourselves,” I mumbled.
“It was the right thing to do, Mer. We’re not equipped to handle this. We might be revered on campus, but we’re not actually gods.”
I snorted and turned my head toward him. “Ugh. Fine. I just wanted something to happen. I hate this limbo feeling. Nothing’s resolved.”
“For now, we’ll go about our lives, but with more vigilance when it comes to your safety.”
“Okay.” I blew out a breath, my lips vibrating together. “Thank you.”
“I should head out,” Holden said, pointing to the door.
“Just stay, man. Hope’s still at the hospital, and we’re both here.”
Holden looked at me, and I nodded. We were friends now, not enemies, and friends had platonic sleepovers all the time. Right?
“It would be easier.” He cleared his throat. “Will you be sharing a bed?”
“Yep. Be jealous,” Colter teased. Holden laughed, but seemed to relax all the same.
We took turns using the bathroom and changing for the night. I peeked over my shoulder at Holden before I closed Colter’s door.
“Night, Holden.”
“Night, Em.”
Climbing under the covers with Colter, I realized I didn’t even recognize my life. I’d stood up to Hope, had a stalker, and somehow, I’d become an inspiration to others at Hayward. Or, at least, that was what the notifications led me to believe.
Tomorrow would be interesting.
I arrived on campus early, and Colter walked with me to class. I caught several stares from students along the way. Most of them were friendly, offering me a wave. Some whispered, pointing at me when I passed, while others watched me with trepidation. Based on how they were dressed in skirts, heels, and had Greek letters on at least one item in their possession, I’d label them as the Zeta’s—Hope’s sorority sisters.
The reminder of Hope brought forth the looming decision I needed to make today. I had no clue what to do. It felt more like one of those go-in-and-wing-it scenarios. Probably not the smartest, considering futures hung in the balance, but I didn’t feel equipped to deal with it.
Colter kissed my cheek before leaving me at the Humanities building. At least I wasn’t late for once. I stepped into the lecture hall and took a seat in the back, saving a seat for Cody with my bag. A few minutes later, he entered and headed to me with a big smile. He had two coffees in his hand and gave one to me as he sat.
“Good morning, Peanut.”
I rolled my eyes but smiled. “I’ll let it go since you brought me coffee.”
“You love it, and you know it.”
I sipped my coffee and tried to ignore the people around us, but they didn’t seem to take the hint.
“You’re Emerson, right?” a girl with black hair asked.
“Um, yeah.”
She smiled. “Oh, good. I just wanted to say I thought what you did was very brave. I was bullied in high school, and I wished I’d been able to speak up. I avoided Hope here, but I’ve heard stories.”
“I didn’t mention anyone,” I mumbled, uncomfortable with her praise.
She waved me off. “It wasn’t hard to figure it out. If you ever need anything from the AES Club, let me know. I’m Kendra.”
“What’s AES?”
“It’s the Accessibility and Equality Club.”
“Wow. That’s so cool. Thank you.” She smiled and took her seat. A few more people around us said hello and talked to Cody about the game. It was strange to be approached by so many people in class. Even at Brighton, I hadn’t been popular. The class started a few minutes later, and the professor caught my eye immediately.
“Ah, Miss Adams and Mr. Rivers. You both took the assignment to heart and shared it with the whole school. That was a bold move. What anthropological implications might we draw from the way they presented their report?”
Hands rose, and the professor called on students. I sat in shock as the entire classroom conversed about a topic I wrote about.
“I think it’s a good example of how the internet and social media can be used for good in scenarios. Emerson’s personal reflection spoke to many people and had a far-reaching ability compared to if she’d just shared it in class or even in a print newspaper,” a girl in the first row said.
“It’s interesting the effects it’s had on campus as well. People I’ve never seen conversing have been having open conversations and stepping out of their perceived boxes to make connections,” a guy in the middle added.
“I agree. It’s caused a lot of people to consider how their words and actions can be harmful, even if they don’t intend it that way. It was an exercise in self-reflection on a grand scale. Not one person I’ve talked to has been able to ignore her words.”
“There’s been a shift on campus, too,” another student added. “The houses that typically have the power in social circles have been iced out. I saw it this morning when they appeared on campus. The people who usually flock to them and do their bidding didn’t, and the houses didn’t know how to function without their minions. It’s like Emerson’s words reminded everyone with a voice to use it. Together, we’re stronger than the few bullies.”
I blinked and looked at Cody. He grinned widely at me, nudging me with his shoulder. The students continued to discuss the topic, bouncing off one another and adding their opinions. The professor leaned against the podium with her arms crossed and a smile on her face. She’d nodded along and directed the points at times, but mostly, she sat back and let the class lead themselves. That in and of itself was beautiful to watch.
“As you can see, Miss Adams and Mr. Rivers, anthropological changes can occur with a single ripple, creating a tidal wave of change. Thank you for sharing your truth and inspiring such beautiful conversations and organic change. I think the class can agree that you both deserve an A+.”
The room applauded, turning to peer back at the two of us. I blushed at their praise. I didn’t feel like I’d done anything significant other than standing up for myself. But to hear all of their interpretations and the changes they’d noticed, I now knew differently. Cody and I packed our stuff and left the classroom in a daze.
“I never realized how much power I had before. I always thought no one cared, yet I worried about everyone else’s thoughts.” I gave a dry chuckle. “Ironic how when I quit caring what people thought and shared my truth, everyone saw me.”
“The world is a crazy place,” Cody said, nodding. “You good?” he asked, turning in the opposite direction.
“Yeah. See you later.”
I moved about the rest of the day in the same daze. People approached me all day, telling me their stories or how my words resonated. It soothed a broken piece inside me and sparked an idea for something new—a way forward.
When I stepped out of my last class, I knew I couldn’t put off the noose hanging around my neck any longer. I still didn’t know what decision to make, and I hoped it would come to me when I arrived. Opening the door to Dean Adroit’s office, it sort of did.