Chapter 36
CHAPTER
THIRTY-SIX
EMERSON
I was having the best dream. I was lounging by the pool, and the sun beat down on me. I felt warm all over, like the sun kissed every inch of my skin. I lay on the most luxurious lounger and was covered in silk. The half-naked man between my legs didn’t hurt either. My hands gripped the firm cushion, and I rocked into the face, my orgasm close. Tingles ran over my body, and I gasped as I came, my hips slowing as I rode out my climax.
Moaning, I jerked awake at the sound and blinked to take in my surroundings. My skin still felt heated by the sun, but I wasn’t outside. Moving my hand, I glanced down at what I held onto. It was long, hard, and…
Oh my god.
My hand was wrapped around Holden’s very erect cock. He still had his boxers on, but there was my hand gripping the monster all the same. Somehow my cheeks found it within themselves to heat more as I came to the utter mortification of my situation.
I knew this bed-sharing was a horrible idea.
How had I gotten myself into this mess? My head rested on his chest, and my leg was draped over his. And was that…Yep. I’d drooled on his pec. Oh, and I couldn’t forget how I’d just humped his leg like a dog. And why the hell did I still grip his dick?
Holden’s breathing was even, so I prayed to all things holy that he wasn’t awake. Ever so slowly, I unlocked my fingers from my death grip on his disco stick. His dick stayed standing upright, tenting his boxer briefs like the champion it was. Would he feel it if I slapped it? Would it bounce back to the same spot?
For the love of macaroni, stop thinking about his dick!
Carefully, I lifted my leg and shifted it away from his behemoth of a thigh. Had leg muscles always been that sexy?
Okay. Only one more body part to move. You can do this!
First, I shifted my hand. My fingers tingled, and I curled them into a fist. Now, to back away and pray he believed his nipples had sweated. Unsticking my face, I froze as I peeled myself off his torso. It had been surprisingly comfortable for a muscular chest.
Braced on my arms, I took a deep breath. It was time for the final test. Please be asleep. Please be asleep . Turning my head, my heart sank when I found Holden staring at me.
Fuck.
“Good morning, Wildcat. Have any good dreams?”
“Nope. None whatsoever.” I backed away from him and put as much space between us as possible. Which wasn’t a lot, considering the bed was the size of a postage stamp. Holden smirked and shifted his hips. His erection bobbed, and he reached down to grab himself. I wanted to be outraged, but considering I’d just rubbed myself against him to orgasm, I didn’t have any room to speak.
“You just going to do that with me here?” I asked. My pulse raced, matching the throbbing between my legs.
“Where would you like me to go?” He lifted an eyebrow, his smile on full display. “Besides, it’s your fault I’m this hard.”
“Wow. Way to blame the girl.” I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms in protest. It had nothing to do with my nipples pebbling.
“Not blaming you, just stating facts. You were moaning and rubbing your hot body all over me, and it got my dick very excited. He loved it when you gripped him like your own handlebar.”
“I did no such thing!”
“‘ Oh, Holden. Yes, Holden. More, Holden.’ Does that ring a bell? I think everyone below us heard you humping me, Wildcat.”
I sputtered, and my cheeks heated. “You’re an asshole.”
“Never said I wasn’t.” He stroked himself, and I spotted the wet patch on his boxers. I swallowed. “I’m seconds away from blowing, Wildcat. If you stay, you’re gonna get a show.”
“A boring show, maybe.”
“Sure. We both know that’s a lie. Just control yourself and stay on your side of the bed. This time .”
“Easily. Nothing I haven’t seen before.”
Holden smirked, and I wished I’d just shut up. I was so not capable of watching him jerk off and be unaffected. Where were my bumbling words? Why had I chosen sass this morning?
As hard as I tried, I couldn’t keep my eyes from watching Holden lower the elastic band. His cock sprung forward, and he cupped the band under his balls. It was erotic as fuck.
He wrapped his hand around himself and squeezed, moving his hand slowly from root to tip. From there, he swiped the bead of precum over his cockhead with his thumb and continued back down. It wasn’t the first time I’d watched a guy stroke himself. I’d seen plenty of porn of guys masturbating and even had guys jerk themselves before we had sex. But none of those experiences had been like this .
For one, Holden’s cock was in a league of its own. I wanted to lick every ridge and vein. I wanted to swirl my tongue around every inch of him and suck him until my jaw hurt. Just thinking about having him in my mouth made it water, and I licked my lips.
“Fuck, Wildcat.”
I flicked my eyes up to Holden’s, surprised to find him staring at me and not his dick. Those aquamarine orbs shimmered in the early morning light, full of heat and want. Looking into his eyes, I could let myself pretend it meant so many things… things I didn’t know how to accept.
Holden looked at me like I was the very breath he needed, and without me, nothing in the world would matter.
But that wasn’t true. Holden loved football above all else. He loved his mom and sister. He’d already chosen them over me before. I couldn’t risk it again.
At least it was nice to pretend.
His eyes rolled back, and I looked down as his cum spurted out in thick ropes, covering his hand and stomach. My breath hitched as I watched, but I couldn’t break my stare.
“If you keep looking at me like that, it will be hard to remember we’re friends , Wildcat.”
Was it possible to die from a blush? I think I was about to find out. Jumping at the reminder, I forgot I was on the edge of the bed and promptly fell to the ground with a thud.
“Eep!”
“Shit. You okay?”
“Yep. Just. You know. Checking gravity. It still works.”
“Glad to know.”
“Okay. I’m gonna go.” I crawled to the bathroom and shut the door, Holden’s laughter following me. Smiling, I hit my head against the door. This man. I was so screwed.
After throwing cold water on my face, I did my business and brushed my teeth. I never thought I’d spend this much time in the bathroom, but here I was again, wasting time to avoid an awkward situation.
“If you’re done hiding, I really need to clean up.”
“I’m not hiding.” I opened the door and smacked into his chest. “Stupid man chest.”
Holden moved around me and shut the door, and the sound of the toilet seat hitting the porcelain was loud and clear. I took advantage of the privacy and pulled on a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt. Grabbing my phone, I headed downstairs to see if anyone else was awake or, you know, to avoid eye contact with Holden. One or the other.
Coffee hit my nostrils as I descended the steps, and I made my way to the back of the cabin, where the smells emanated.
“Good morning, Pumpkin,” my dad said. He stood and kissed me on the cheek. “Did you sleep okay?”
“Yep!” Was my voice high-pitched again? “Can’t complain,” I said, dropping it an octave just to be sure. My dad looked at me weirdly but let it go.
“Coffee?”
“Yes.”
Rose chuckled, but handed me a mug. I filled it, adding sugar and creamer. The first sip was heaven, and I sighed blissfully.
“Breakfast is almost done. Can you see if Hope’s gonna join us?”
“Oh? Me?” Rose nodded, and I sat my mug down. “Where?” She pointed over her shoulder, and I headed to the back of the cabin. There was only one door closed, so I took the chance it was the right one and knocked. “Hope?”
“Come in.”
Anxiety crept up my neck, but I shook it away. I wasn’t letting Hope bully me anymore. Opening the door, I blinked in surprise at the room. I expected Hope to be laid up in bed, but instead, she sat at a desk working on a computer, her casted leg propped up.
“Your mom wanted to know if you wanted breakfast?” I said when she didn’t turn around.
“Um, sure. Hey, can I ask you a question?”
“Me?” I asked like a dumbass. Was my brain in my butt? Because it was the only thing I’d hit this morning.
“Unless a person is hiding behind you.” I turned, too dazed to realize she was teasing me. “Yes, you, Emerson.”
“Oh. Sure.” I stepped into the room and glanced around for any traps.
“I’m not going to do anything,” she said.
“Sorry. Habit.”
She deflated and nodded. “This might sound na?ve, but I didn’t realize the impact my words had on you.”
“You’re joking, right?” I crossed my arms, my earlier hesitation gone now that I had my footing.
“I’d built you up in my mind as this unbreakable force. You never gave up. You kept dancing. You came to school. You kept pushing forward. I justified it. I believed if you could still do all that, then what I did wasn’t all that bad.” I opened my mouth to protest, but she stopped me. “I know. It’s not an excuse. Regardless, if you could handle it, I didn’t have the right to do any of it. I took my anger, fear, and jealousy out on you. It wasn’t fair, and I destroyed something in the process. I’m sorry I took your safety.” She swallowed. “I know what that’s like, and I hate that I did that to someone else. At some point, my self-hatred fueled me to ignore everything else I was feeling.” She wiped away a tear, and I stared at her, dumbfounded.
“I don’t know what to say. I feel for you, Hope. I do. But the things you said and did left scars. It’s hard for me to trust people now and believe that good things can happen to me. I fought for so long that I eventually got tired. If it weren’t for your mom, I would’ve rotted in my room this semester. I knew I couldn’t return to Brighton, but I did nothing about it. The fear you’d built paralyzed me.”
“I’m so sorry, Emerson. I know I can never make it okay, and I’ll say it to you every day until my actions match it.” Tears fell down her cheeks in streams now. I’d never seen Hope cry before, and it disarmed me.
Wiping my own tears, I took in a shaky breath. “What did you need help with?”
She smiled shyly, and I recognized it as a real one—one she used to give when we were friends, long before she became my bully.
“I was hoping you’d read my proposal. I’ve been working on it for weeks, and I think it’s off to a good start. I’d like some feedback on whether I’m on the right path or if I need to change directions before I get too far into it.”
“Oh, wow. Yeah, sure, um, email it to me. I know you know it.”
Hope cringed. “I deserve that.”
Something lifted off my chest. I still didn’t forgive Hope, but I didn’t feel as angry either. Maybe we could heal the wound between us. I didn’t know if we’d ever be friends again, but I’d like to be civil with her—if just for our parents’ sake.
“Do you need help to go to the kitchen?”
“Thanks. I got it.” She grabbed her crutches and lifted herself out of the chair. I held the door open and let her go through. She paused in the doorway, glancing over her shoulder at me.
“Don’t let my mistakes ruin Holden’s chance. He doesn’t know how to be anything other than protective. It’s his biggest flaw and greatest asset.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. We’re just friends.”
“Don’t play dumb now, Mer. I’ve seen how you look at him when you think no one is watching. But more importantly, I’ve seen how he looks at you, and he doesn’t care who’s looking. He’s in love with you. He just needs to figure it out.”
Stunned, I nodded and followed her out into the hall. Had my sleep orgasm fried my brain? Hope was giving me love advice. With her brother, of all things. And she believed he loved me.
Yeah. There was no way. She clearly didn’t know her brother as well as she thought.
Stepping into the kitchen, my eyes met Holden’s, and I forgot to breathe for a second. He scanned me from head to toe and then checked on his sister.
Wait. He’d looked at me first. Then Hope.
Did it mean anything?
Possibly everything.