Chapter 37
CHAPTER
THIRTY-SEVEN
EMERSON
Rose wore a blush dress with simple heels. Her hair was pulled back in a twist, and her makeup was subtle. She looked radiant, and my dad couldn’t take his eyes off her as she walked toward us. He was in a simple gray suit he’d worn before, but he looked dashing all the same.
Shifting my focus to Holden, now I was the one who couldn’t take their eyes off someone. His suit was a dark gray, and it fit him to perfection. My heart tripped over itself as I stared, electricity sizzling to life.
The officiant cleared their throat, and I broke my gaze with Holden to turn to the front. Hope and I wore navy dresses. Hope’s hit mid thigh so it covered part of her cast, and mine was knee-length. The top had a layer of lace, a deep-v, and capped sleeves. They weren’t designer, and I loved that about them.
The four of us stood around the arch Rose had found while Hope was perched in a chair. They’d chosen a winery near the cabin to hold the ceremony. The vineyards were to one side of us and a soft flowing creek on the other. The mums covered the ground and arch, giving the small gathering an ethereal quality. There was nothing outlandish about the ceremony—just two people who loved one another tying their lives together forever.
It was breathtaking.
The officiant talked about love and the joining of two people. Which, ew . Read the room, dude. None of us wanted to picture our parents ‘joining’ together. Once the officiant stopped grossing me out, he motioned for my father to say his vows.
“Rose, my lovely bride, I am so captivated by you. How I got so lucky to meet you, I’ll never know. I thought I wouldn’t get to experience love again. To find it a second time, and in the most unexpected way, is a blessing. The day I bumped into you, I felt I could breathe again. I didn’t realize how lost I’d been since Katie died. But you resuscitated my heart and showed me how to love again. You accept me for who I am, flaws and all. Some people might think we’re making a mistake, that we barely know each other, but my heart knew you the moment we met, and I didn’t want to waste any more time without you in my arms.”
I wiped a tear, my father’s words registering in me. I hadn’t been thrilled about his news of getting married, but I knew it had been the right choice for him. He had come back to life in the few months they’d been together. I hadn’t even realized how much of my father had died with my mom until I got him back. For that alone, I would always be thankful for Rose and my dad falling in love.
As Rose began to share her vows, I could not look away from Holden. He held my gaze and the electrical current I’d felt the first time we’d met roared back to life between us.
“My darling, Milton. I would marry you a million times and still think it wasn’t enough. You came into my life with your kind smile and gentle heart, and I instantly knew you were the man I’d been dreaming of. My love life hasn’t been glamorous or as loving as yours was. I made mistakes and chose the wrong people, but I never quit dreaming or believing the right man was out there for me. Meeting you was a gift to my battered heart. I might have resuscitated yours, but you healed mine. You’ve shown me I can believe in love, and I know our life together will be everything.”
Another tear fell, and I wiped it away, but I held Holden’s aquamarine eyes. It might have been our parents saying the words, but it felt like they were also ours—whispered confessions between two hearts.
It was scary, and there was no guarantee we wouldn’t hurt one another again, but I was ready to try. Staying in this holding pattern was bleeding into other areas of our lives, and I couldn’t keep holding myself back.
I’d let fear consume my life once. Not anymore.
“You may kiss your bride.”
Hope whooped, and I startled, breaking my gaze with Holden’s. I turned to watch our parents seal their marriage with a kiss, wiping the last of my tears. Their love was truly beautiful.
“I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Milton Adams.”
“That’s weird,” Hope said, laughing.
“Yeah, I’m thinking Adler-Adams,” Rose said. “Being an Adler is important because it’s what you both are.”
Holden kissed his mom on the cheek. “You’ll always be my mom. Your last name doesn’t change that. You deserve a new beginning, Mom. Don’t be scared to take it.”
“Besides, I plan to be something else one day,” Hope added. “Maybe a Princeton or King. I was meant to be a royal.”
“You got the spoiled princess thing down,” Holden teased, helping her with her crutches. Hope stuck out her tongue, and we all laughed. I hadn’t thought it possible, but we were becoming a family.
My dad and Rose walked toward the winery, where they’d reserved a room to hold our little reception. The winery had made a simple cake and small platters paired with wines. I wasn’t a huge wine drinker, but I enjoyed the ambiance. There were other patrons inside when we entered, and they applauded the happy couple. Everyone smiled, and I felt it inflating inside me, too.
Taking part in the ceremony today was amazing. I was glad they’d done this and let us be part of their day. I’d been more hurt than I realized about them marrying at the courthouse. I’d thought it was because they’d gotten married in general, but it wasn’t. I wanted to be part of it, and not being there had hurt. This little winery wasn’t what I expected my dad’s wedding to be like, but I couldn’t picture it any other way now. It was perfect, just like they were together.
My dad pulled Rose into a dance, and soft music played. I watched them sway together and knew my mom was happy for Dad. She wouldn’t have wanted him to be alone. I only had a few more years of college before branching out on my own, so I was glad he had someone to spend his life with.
“Your dad is good for her.”
I turned to Holden, my eyes trailing over every inch of his face. Sincerity rang true in his words, and I knew this was my chance to take a step forward and see if he’d follow. Maybe I’d been wrong by waiting on him to make a move. Perhaps he was waiting on me.
“Your mom is good for him. All things considered, I’m glad they fell in love.”
Holden smiled, and he held out his hand. “Dance with me, Wildcat?”
I placed mine in his and let him lead me to the small area where tables had been moved aside. My dad and Rose smiled at us. It made me wonder if they knew about Holden and me, or if they were just happy we’d been getting along. It didn’t matter at this moment, though.
Not when Holden wrapped his arms around me, and I sank into his embrace .
He felt like home.
He nuzzled my neck and held me close… closer than siblings should be—and erased any confusion about what we were to each other.
Neither of us spoke while we danced. We just let the music guide our bodies. I lost count of how many songs we swayed to. I felt so safe and cherished that I didn’t want to step out of it.
But avoidance only lasted so long, or at least until the winery closed.
The music stopped, and we pulled apart, blinking as the lights changed. The safety he’d given shifted, and his face looked sad. I couldn’t tell if it was because he was sad he’d wasted time, or for something else. Like a goodbye.
Moving around without his arms around me felt strange, like a limb was missing. I hugged myself, hoping to ward off the weird feeling. Rose walked over, gave me a knowing look, and kissed my cheek.
“Thank you for all your help, Em. The ceremony was perfect.”
“It was. I’m so glad I got to be part of it,” I said, squeezing her.
“I know it’s not conventional, but I’ve never seen my son look at someone the way he does at you. Whatever becomes of it, I’ll support you.” She kissed my cheek before stepping over to her son. My dad took her place, not giving me time to respond.
“You look beautiful, Pumpkin. Thank you for being here today. I know it must be hard?—”
I stopped him. “No, Dad, it wasn’t. Marrying Rose doesn’t mean you love Mom any less. I know that. She’s gone, and she’d want you to be happy, to experience love again. I’m glad you met Rose. It shocked me at first because you’d kept it from me, but I was never against it. Rose is lovely, and I’m glad we get to have her in both of our lives. ”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you at first. Sometimes, I forget the beautiful young woman you’ve become. Your mom would be so proud of you.” He kissed my cheek and hugged me. I fought back tears. I knew Mom would be, but hearing him reiterate it meant more than I expected.
“Thanks, Dad. I love you.”
“I love you, Pumpkin.”
He withdrew with tears in his eyes, and I laughed as I wiped mine and then his. He glanced at Holden and lifted his eyebrow.
I shrugged, my mind whirring. “It’s complicated.”
“Well, don’t waste time trying to make it more complicated than it needs.”
“I’ll be honest. That wasn’t how I expected you to respond.”
My dad shrugged before kissing my cheek. I hadn’t expected parental shenanigans to be on my bingo card today, and, quite frankly, it was freaking me the fuck out. Did getting married make you a love guru?
Dad, Rose, and Hope left for the cabin while Holden and I gathered the items we’d brought for the wedding. We worked in comfortable silence, and I appreciated the time to sort through my thoughts. Not that I’d gotten anywhere by the time we were driving the short mile to the cabin. My phone buzzed in my purse. When I opened the screen, I smiled at a text from Colter.
Magic 8-ball: How was the wedding?
Emerson: It was lovely. I’m glad I was here.
Magic 8-ball: I miss you. Does that make me whipped?
Emerson: I miss you, too. So, if you are, then I am, too.
Magic 8-ball: I’m okay with that, then.
Emerson: Good. *Smiling face*
Emerson: So, Holden and I had to share a bed. *Pic attached*
Magic 8-ball: Oh my god, I can’t wait to blow this up. How did he get out?
Emerson: It was touch and go.
Magic 8-ball: Any stories to tell me about the bed?
Emerson: Nope.
Magic 8-ball: Mer…
Emerson: Yes?
Magic 8-ball: You don’t have to hide your feelings from me.
Emerson: I’m not.
Magic 8-ball: If you say so.
Emerson: Fine. I don’t know what I feel. It’s complicated. It’s there, but then he pulls away. I’m tired of being yo-yoed.
Magic 8-ball: You guys should either fuck and clear the air or talk, then fuck.
Emerson: So basically your solution is to fuck.
Magic 8-ball: With Holden, yes. He needs to get out of his head. You both do.
Emerson: I know you said you’re okay with it. But it feels strange to be this open.
Magic 8-ball: I’ve accepted who I am and what I like. If it was Cody, then it would be different.
Emerson: It will never be Cody.
Magic 8-ball: I believe you. I think I know why, but it’s not my place to ask.
Emerson: You’re a good person, Colter.
Magic 8-ball: Speaking of being good… does this mean I get a video?
Emerson: You want one?
Magic 8-ball: So bad.
Emerson: Okay, I’ll make one before bed.
Magic 8-ball: I can’t wait.
Magic 8-ball: And sweetheart, if something happens with Holden, let it. We can all talk about it when you’re back.
Emerson: Nothing is going to happen.
Magic 8-ball: I’m not sure who is more stubborn.
Emerson: Definitely him.
Smiling, I put my phone back in my bag as Holden maneuvered the truck down the driveway. The sun was starting to set, casting a soft glow around us. Holden turned off the engine, and we both sat there for a minute, listening to the quiet around us.
There were so many things I wanted him to say, but was also scared to death of him admitting it. Eventually, I climbed out of the cab and went inside. When I glanced out the window, I was surprised to find Holden still sitting in his truck, with his head resting on the wheel. Part of me wanted to fight with him, to push him until he said something. But it felt important not to.
If he couldn’t admit how he felt and accept it, he would never be able to tell me, either. It was important that he took that step and fought for something. Otherwise, I didn’t think I’d ever be able to trust he wouldn’t turn his back on me when it got hard.
With a resigned sigh, I climbed the steps and took my bag into the bathroom. Things might be complicated with Holden, but not with Colter. He told me what he wanted; I never had to guess how he felt. It was revitalizing.
Holden might feel like home, but Colter was the energy that flowed through it. I’d love to be with both of them, but I wouldn’t force it. Instead, I’d show my sweet and kinky man how I felt about him.