Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
Esther
Instead of going straight to bed or even cuddling up on the sofa in the family room to watch a movie, Theo led me into the formal living room and nudged me into an overstuffed chair near the fireplace.
I watched as he started the gas fire and then spread a plush blanket on the carpet in front of it.
Toni followed us in, twitching her tail with disinterest, but as soon as the blanket hit the floor, she claimed a corner for herself.
Theo sat on the other side and held out a hand. When I joined him on the floor, he grabbed another blanket from a basket near the couch and wrapped it around our shoulders to form a little cocoon of warmth.
Tucked against his side, with the fire dancing and the snowflakes swirling outside the windows, I could almost believe that nothing bad would ever touch me again.
Except it almost had.
“Why would someone do that?” I asked dully. “Why is someone doing any of it? My only enemy in this town died four years ago.”
Theo’s muscles went tense against my side, then he blew out a long breath as he forcibly relaxed them. “I don’t know. Rose and the chief will get it all sorted out. And believe me, if it’s some asshole thinking this is funny, I’ll make sure he understands otherwise.”
For some reason, my eyes filled with tears. I tried to brush them away without being obvious about it, but Theo noticed.
Of course he noticed—after all, he was Anita’s son.
He shifted his body and pulled me onto his lap, tucking me snugly against his chest. Without saying a word, he rubbed one hand reassuringly up and down my back while the other threaded into my hair to cup the back of my head.
The tears trickled slowly, soundlessly soaking into his shirt. I tried to remember the last time someone had jumped to my defense as he did, but nothing came to mind.
He was unlike anyone I’d ever known.
I was annoyed by the package, embarrassed at having to explain to Rose why something so basic was really such a dangerous prank, and frustrated at myself for tearing up over a simple act of kindness from the man I was sleeping with.
To shove those feelings aside, I sniffled once and mumbled, “How was your evening?”
A startled laugh burst from his lips. “I assume you mean the part I spent at Oliver’s house? It was really nice, actually, aside from being so eager to get home. He and Julian are perfect for each other.”
“They are, aren’t they? I remember Sofia celebrating for days when Ollie finally asked him out. She takes full credit for getting them together.”
Theo’s chuckle reverberated under my ear as his fingers began massaging the base of my skull. I hummed in pleasure when the tight muscles eased under his hands. Gently, his lips trailed along my hairline, then he shifted a bit beneath me.
“I thought this would be really sweet and romantic, cuddling in front of the fireplace, but I think maybe I’m too old to be sitting on the floor,” he said with an exaggerated groan.
I laughed and climbed off him, then held out a hand to help him up. “Come on, old man. Let’s go to bed.”
“Now that is the best offer I’ve had all day.”
Since Toni was still curled up in her corner of the blanket, we left it there for her, though she glared from one golden eye when Theo turned off the fireplace.
We crept upstairs as though we weren’t alone in the house, climbed into bed almost fully dressed, and lay together there in the dark for a long time without speaking or sleeping.
When the words finally slipped out, they came as unexpectedly as the tears had downstairs. In a hushed tone, I told him about my first playdate without my mother in attendance, how it had been drilled and drilled into my head that I wasn’t to eat anything she hadn’t packed in my unicorn lunchbox.
“My kindergarten best friend and I were building Play Doh castles at their dining room table, not knowing her older brothers ate peanuts there the night before, and when I cried because it was time to go, I rubbed that residue into my eyes and swelled up like a boxer who’d just lost the fight.
On school picture day two days later, I still looked like I’d been punched in the face.
The skin under my eyes was still all puffy and bruised.
My mom took one look at the proofs and hid them in the back of a closet. ”
“Jesus,” he whispered.
“After that, the invitations dwindled, not that my mother would have allowed me to accept any of them, anyway. Nobody wanted to be responsible for a mistake like that.”
Theo held me as I spoke in fits and starts, more stories about allergic reactions and teasing and isolation, about my own husband moving in to kiss me before I caught a whiff of candy bar on his breath.
It was worse than if he’d come home smelling of another woman’s perfume, a disregard not only of my feelings, but my safety.
“He was an asshole.” The growled words settled over me like a weighted blanket.
“The relief after convincing him to keep his hands off me was incredible, because I could finally stop worrying he’d inadvertently send me into anaphylaxis with his carelessness.”
My breath hitched, causing Theo’s arms to tighten around me.
As they poured out into the darkness, all those memories and anxieties, the pressure that had taken root in my chest the minute I opened that box finally began to ease. My body melted into his, boneless and weightless, as he stroked my hair and waited for the words to trickle to a halt.
When nothing else came out, his lips found my forehead in the darkness. “Tomorrow morning, I want you to show me how to use the EpiPen, just in case.”
I nodded, my hair whispering over the fabric of his t-shirt. Sometimes it seemed so hard to know if I was overreacting—that had been such a common refrain during my marriage, and the years of therapy had never quite removed the doubt from my mind when it came to certain things.
Hearing Theo’s unveiled anger over the package, his commitment to keeping me safe, untangled another tiny knot in my chest I hadn’t realized was there.
Whatever happened down the road, he was here now. I’d let him keep pulling me back into the light, out of my solitary existence, so I could regain the strength I’d need when he was gone.
There were always lessons to be learned, weren’t there?
My thoughts slowed from a whirl to a lazy review of all I’d learned from Theo, and without intending to, I slipped off to sleep.