Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
Jules
Two Weeks Later
It’s another really bad day to have to show my face on camera. But I’ve gotten great at faking it.
When I started my job with the Crush, I was only behind the camera, making content about the players and staff. But Deb’s been wanting me to show my face, to show viewers—especially the female ones—that the Rules by Jules girl is also the Cleveland Crush girl.
She was right. Views and follows have skyrocketed in the week I’ve been showing my face. A lot of the comments are from men, and they’re about me rather than the content, but that’s part of the gig.
“Ready?” I ask Carter and Leo, who are standing beside me in the locker room.
“Let’s do it,” Carter says.
I press a button on my phone screen. “Hey everyone, it’s Jules, live from the locker room with Carter Stanton and Leo Abbott. We’re heading into tonight’s game with a five-game winning streak. Carter, how’s the team feeling?”
“Everybody’s feeling great. We’re in the zone and all of us just want to keep it going.”
“Last night, Magnus Lundgren got a hat trick,” I say. “Leo, how important has he become to the team?”
“Maggie fits in so well here. It’s like he’s been with us forever. He gives a hundred percent in every game, and he’s also a big help to the younger guys, like with mindset. We’re really lucky to have him.”
“And I heard we now have three hundred and sixteen hats to donate to charity, so bonus. Carter, what’s the most important thing that needs to happen for us to win a sixth consecutive game tonight?”
“Moisturizing, for sure. A beauty influencer has been teaching all of us about skincare, and we know how important moisture is now. So yeah, just a light a.m. serum and a p.m. product with retinol is what we’ve all been doing.”
I’m laughing before he even gets through the first half of it. “Okay, my worlds are colliding in a pretty spectacular way right now, thank you for that.”
He grins. “Consistency is super important tonight. We have to execute our plays the same way whether we’re winning or losing. Coach reminds us of that all the time. Always be hungry for a goal, but smart about getting it.”
An invisible dart pierces my chest at his mention of Noel’s name.
We look through each other now, keeping everything professional and never talking outside of our quick pregame interviews.
I thought it would get easier as time passed, but it hasn’t.
He hasn’t shaved in several days, and I’m not proud of how much time I spend thinking about what his stubbled face would feel like on my thighs.
“Good luck tonight, guys,” I say, then turn the camera on just myself. “And I’ll be going live again later, so get your pregame snacks ready and I’ll see you soon.”
I press a button on my screen and let my smile drop away. Noel isn’t around, so I’m skipping his pregame interview. It’s not like I can knock on his office door and risk seeing the desk I squirted all over. I was embarrassed enough when it happened.
It’s fine. I’m going to be fine. I just signed an endorsement deal with a big cosmetics brand, and it came with a six-figure check. It’s enough to pay the house off and still have some left over.
It’s December and we’ve gotten a lot of snow recently, so it’s hard to even think about the offseason, but when it gets here, Talia and I are taking a weeklong trip to a luxury resort in Thailand. We already have it booked, and I can’t wait.
I’m a busy woman with a full life. I don’t need a man to be fulfilled.
Being filled by Noel, though? I miss that with my entire being. Images of his expression when he’s about to come will live rent-free in my mind forever, along with the way he looks wearing nothing but gray sweats, his chest bare and his dark-rimmed reading glasses on.
Maybe he’ll hook up with Victoria now, and they can do fortysomething bullshit like wine tastings and 5Ks. He knows what I want, and he’s not willing to do it.
I leave the locker room, relieved the part of my day that includes possibly running into Noel is over.
A local jewelry store that’s been a longtime team sponsor recently increased their spend significantly, so we do a kiss cam spotlight sponsored by them at every game.
I have to go film an interview with a couple we’re running a quick video package on tonight before the kiss cam.
They’ve been married for fifty years, and he bought her engagement ring at the jewelry store that’s our sponsor.
Honestly, fuck love. I’ve perfected faking it, so I’ll look like I’m charmed by them and their story. I probably actually will be because they fell in love a long time ago. Before Tinder and dick pics and situationships.
Fucking Noel. I had it all figured out before him. I was an independent woman who loved her life and occasionally relied on a great vibrator for my sexual needs.
Now I’m bitter, jaded, and so horny I can’t even think straight. My vibe doesn’t have commitment issues, but it also doesn’t edge me until I’m panting and call me its dirty fucking whore.
On our last road trip, I came so close to knocking on Noel’s door. I made it into the hallway, planning to tell him we weren’t going to talk at all—just sex.
My lady bits were leading me there, but I stopped myself. If we just have sex, that’s giving him what he wants and forgetting about what I want.
Anyone who’s embarrassed by me doesn’t deserve me. If I’m not embarrassed about being with a forty-seven-year-old, why should he be embarrassed by me? Wouldn’t his friends envy him?
It’s his kids. I know it is. And as much as I hate to admit it, I get it. Talia would be mortified if she knew about us. She’d feel betrayed—not just by him, but by me, too. I guess the only upside to losing Noel is getting to keep my friendship with Talia.
I’ll get over him. It will take time, but it will happen. I won’t get with Isaac or anyone else from the team because I learned my lesson with Noel.
Isaac could become a good friend, though. He’s easy to be around and he makes me laugh.
I go to my office for a break before my interview with the couple, toeing off my heels and sitting down in my office chair.
I’m in a game day outfit—black leggings and a Crush hoodie.
Even though it’s been two weeks since our fight, when I was getting dressed this morning, I couldn’t help thinking of Noel.
I was wearing this same outfit in early November before a home game, and he pulled me into a conference room for some heavy making out.
He got me off just from rubbing me through my leggings, and he left the room with a smile even though he didn’t even come.
He has a gift. His hands are magic, and I miss them every day, along with his mouth and basically every other part of him.
This is what I get, though. I knew the risks. The playing with fire part was deliciously fun, and now I have to deal with the getting burned part. It hurts more than I thought it would, though.