24. Erica
I grab my bag and jump out before Amanda locks up.
She hooks her arm under mine like we’ve been besties forever and steers me toward the stores.
I follow like a lost puppy, overwhelmed by the sights and smells.
Chattering crowds stroll along lit-up window fronts, and the scent of coffee, tea and fresh muffins streams from a stand by a babbling fountain.
“Cain never tells me about his love life. I don’t want the spicy details, of course. That’s gross.” Amanda makes a gagging noise.
“I’m just worried he’ll end up old and alone being such a recluse, you know? He last had a serious girlfriend before I got sick, but since he told you to use his black Amex, your relationship seems pretty damn serious.”
A blush creeps over my cheeks.
“I guess.”
“You don’t have to be shy, Erica. I want my brother to be with someone who makes him happy, and he smiled the whole time while he spoke about you! I’ve never seen his eyes shine like that.”
My teeth clench.
I try to chase away the lightness encasing my heart.
Why should I care that the unhinged killer holding me hostage smiled when he told his sister about me?
But God, I do care.
I care a lot.
Too much.
Amanda’s head tilts as she glances at me from the side.
“Soooooo… I didn’t want to ambush you in the car, but I hope you’ll forgive my curiosity. I have to ask or I’ll explode! How did you guys meet?”
I trip over my boots.
How am I supposed to answer that?
Oh, you know, the usual, Amanda.
We hooked up in a seedy motel before your dear older brother fucking drugged and kidnapped me .
“It’s not an exciting story.” I chuckle, swallowing hard.
“I still want to hear it! Please, hon?” Amanda flutters her long lashes at me.
Shit, what can I say?
“Um, I was buying a snack from a vending machine and it got stuck. Cain offered to help me. More accurately, he literally punched the thing until my packet of chips fell out.” I laugh at the memory.
It feels like a lifetime ago.
“Sounds like him. Ever the practical problem solver and he’s always been strong as a bear. What happened then?”
“We uh… we exchanged numbers.”
“An instant spark meet-cute like in a romance novel? I love that!”
I smile, holding back a wheeze.
Yes, like a pitch-black dark romance novel.
“How long have you been a couple?” she asks.
God, so many questions .
“Few months,” I lie through my teeth.
It really does feel like I’ve known Cain for much longer than the weeks we spent together.
“He is serious about you if he’s moving this fast…” Amanda muses, biting her lip.
“I can’t believe he’s been keeping you a secret from me all this time! That’s so typical!”
I nod, hoping she won’t ask anything else if I look at the first store to my right.
My stare locks on a pair of black suede boots with gold buckles in the window, but when I search for the price tags, I find none.
Lord help me .
My phone buzzes, and I free myself from Amanda’s hold, turning away to check the message.
I’m not missing him, am I?
That tug in my chest since we pulled out of the driveway is social anxiety about being with Amanda, isn’t it?
I shove the phone into my bag, trying to stop the ridiculous pitter-patter of my heart.
After a moment, Amanda speaks up again, tone low like she’s telling me a salacious secret.
“Was that Cain?”
I purse my lips.
“It sure was.”
“God, you’re both so cute! I could tell it was him from that giddy grin on your face and how your eyes lit up while you were typing.”
My eyes did what?
The giddy what on my face?
!
I stiffen, schooling my expression into neutrality and Amanda’s smile softens.
“Some people get a little catty and weird about their siblings’ spouses, but that’s so not me. Maybe it’s too early to say this but…” She takes a deep breath.
“I hope it works out between you.”
A lump tightens my throat.
Can a relationship like ours work out?
What we have isn’t even a relationship.
It’s something wrong, dark, and twisted.
Then why does it feel so right?
“Thank you, Amanda,” I whisper, my voice coming out too thin.
Her eyes gloss over a window displaying designer bags, but it seems like she doesn’t see them at all.
She speaks the next words quietly.
“Don’t tell him I said this, but Cain never puts his happiness first. For as long as I can remember, he’s lived his life for other people.”
My brows knit.
“What do you mean?”
Amanda’s hand combs through her hair, sadness ebbing in her tone.
“Cain was already sixteen by the time I turned six, and those are my earliest memories. I was a clueless little girl, but I remember that I only ever saw him smile on horseback, taking care of the ranch with dad for a few hours on the weekends. He never said it out loud, but I think that’s what he wanted to do with his life.”
“Take over the ranch?”
“Yes, but mother pushed Cain to study medicine. She founded the first of the clinics our family owns, and she wanted a worthy heir to take over the empire-in-the-making when she retired. Cain hated it, but he did what was expected of him. When he wanted to become a pediatrician, mother forced him into plastic surgery because that’s where the money is .” She makes air quotes.
My chest cracks.
So many heavy expectations resting on such a young man.
The pressure must have been immense.
“Mother wanted him to graduate on the fast track, and Cain is smart. Very smart. He’s kind of a genius, but don’t tell him I think so. His ego is inflated enough.”
I draw a finger along my lips like I’m zipping them up and Amanda continues speaking.
“But he still had to put in the work. He spent all his time studying and blazed through the undergrad program, medical school, then his residency.” She frowns.
“When our parents died and I got sick shortly after, he put the life he worked so hard for on hold. He wanted to care for me. My brother loves me, but that was a lot for him. It would be for anyone. And I love him, too, so I’m glad to see him following his heart for once.”
Her speech hits me like a punch to the gut, leaving me short of breath.
“Sorry, this is probably not what you want to talk about during a shopping trip.” Amanda squeezes my arm.
“But that’s another thing being sick taught me. To speak the truth when it matters.”
“No, I appreciate it. You know how closed off Cain can be.”
“Tell me about it.” She giggles, the bright sound clearing the dark cloud hanging above our heads.
“Alright now, listen. Cain is a good man, but he’s still… a guy .” She rolls her eyes.
“If he gives you a hard time or is being a stubborn ass, call me. I’ll set him straight. Better yet, I’ll teach you my tricks so you can do it, too.”
The affection in her voice almost makes me forget the invisible shackles binding me to Cain like a pact with the devil.
I sealed my fate the moment I invited him into my room, signed my name in blood and sweat and cum.
Shouldn’t I be more afraid?
Shouldn’t dread worm through my stomach instead of those silly butterflies when I think of returning to him tonight?
I should want to run instead of missing the warmth of his arms and that stupidly cute, lopsided smirk and the light creases around his eyes or—
My heart drops.
Shit, I really miss that psycho.
“Seriously, though, hon. If you ever need help, give me a holler. Cain obviously trusts you a great deal, and that means you’re practically already family.”
My throat stings.
“Thank you…” I whisper.
I’ve never had a family, not a real one.
That long line of uncaring foster parents doesn’t count.
All those people ever managed to do was make me feel more alone, not less.
Yet here I am, talking to a woman I met today, and she’s welcoming me into her family with open arms.
Amanda dabs a careful finger along her lashline.
“Enough of this emotional talk, okay? Let’s do what we came here to do.” She gestures at the shops.
Cain is a good man, huh ?
I clear my throat.
“There is something I could use your help with.”
“Shoot.” Amanda’s eyes shine expectantly as she nods.
I swallow thickly.
“Actually, it’s a surprise for Cain.”