Chapter 14 #2
This time, when she lifted her head, she pushed with her arms as well, and he let her break his hold. Let her go. Let her step back. Her chin held high, there were unshed tears in her eyes, but her expression was calm. Determined.
“You’re the one who isn’t being sensible.” She shook her head and took another step back. “It’s not sensible to get married when we aren’t attracted to each other. It’s even less sensible when you are attracted to someone else, especially someone we’d be seeing on a regular basis.”
Mason opened his mouth.
Closed it.
Felt his jaw pop as he clenched his teeth together.
“We can’t get married,” Yasmine concluded sadly. “It’s not sensible.”
“It’s not sensible to give up a future we both want because of something that’s a chemical reaction in my brain. It will go away.”
Her eyes widened as she met his gaze again, her surprise evident. Then she laughed, a short, sharp sound that snapped through the air before cutting off as abruptly as it began.
“Oh my God. You actually think that’s true.”
“We are more than our impulses.”
“We are, but that doesn’t mean we can ignore them, either.
Especially when we’re about to make a life-altering decision.
I don’t want to be married to someone who isn’t attracted to me but who is attracted to someone else, Mason.
I don’t want to be married to someone who has to work to be attracted to me.
” She sighed. “Maybe it’s my fault. Maybe I was foolish for thinking everything would fall into place once we were engaged.
I thought I could trick the curse, but I should have known better. ”
“You’re not cursed.” He didn’t want her to keep thinking that.
Maybe he wasn’t attracted to her, but he cared about her.
She deserved to be happy. He wanted her to be happy.
When they’d talked about what they wanted their lives to look like, her desire for children had been palpable, and she wanted a partner in that.
Someone to lean on, someone to share the responsibility, someone to build a life with.
That was what he wanted, too. They could still make it work… but only if they were both on board. And it was starting to sound like she wanted things they hadn’t talked about. Things he didn’t know if he could give her, especially if he didn’t even know she wanted them.
“Sure. I’m not cursed.” Yasmine moved over to the bed and sat down heavily. “That’s not the problem right now, though. The problem is figuring out what we’re going to tell everyone.”
Mason followed her. He sat down next to her and put his arm around her.
“The same way we did it before; we’ll tell them together.
We can still be friends. This doesn’t have to be some big, terrible thing.
” Although it felt like a failure, he wasn’t going to tell Yasmine that.
Not when she was so down on herself already.
Yes, he dreaded going to his parents. Yes, he dreaded the jokes his friends were going to make.
Yes, he felt like his chance at a future with marriage and kids was slipping through his fingers.
But he wasn’t going to drag Yasmine down the aisle.
If she didn’t want to try to build that future with him, that was her prerogative.
“I feel like everyone is going to be laughing at me,” she muttered. “Here I thought I had this great solution, and instead, it’s blowing up in my face. As usual.”
“We haven’t told anyone yet. We can still get married.”
The look that she sent him was half exasperation, half resignation.
“I’m starting to think we aren’t as good a match as I thought,” she said.
Mason did his best not to bristle. Maybe they weren’t, but he was still convinced they could make it work if they tried. And he, at least, was the one willing to try.
“When do we tell everyone?”
“We could do it tonight. Most of them are here.”
“And our parents?”
“Call them tomorrow.”
Yasmine sighed.
“At least we hadn’t started actually planning the wedding and putting down deposits. That would have made everything harder.”
Mason squeezed her shoulders in reassurance. There was no rush from touching her. No heat, no sizzle. No heightened awareness. Just the warmth of her leg under his hand. Which was how he usually felt about women.
Which would have been enough except…
Yasmine wanted what he felt when he looked at Audrey. Even though it was likely to go away, especially now that his subconscious would no longer be panicking about making a major life change. Well. Perhaps once it did, he could approach Yasmine again and point that out.
“Just… promise me one thing,” Yasmine said, her head dropping down to look at her lap, where her hands were resting.
“Anything.”
“Give me a month.”
“What?” A month for what?
She heaved a sigh.
“Give me a month before I have to see you with her. I just need some time to grieve the whole… almost getting what I want, only to lose it. I need a month.”
“Yasmine… I’m not… there’s not…”
“There is.” She lifted her head now to give him a sharp look. “I think you two will be good together if you can get your head out of your ass and admit it. But I need a month. For dignity, if nothing else. Promise me.”
“I promise.”
It was an easy promise to make since he didn’t have any intention of approaching Audrey about this at all. No matter what Yasmine thought. Now that the circumstances that had sparked his unusual reaction to her were being removed, his outsized attraction to her would follow.
That was the only logical outcome.
“So,” Yasmine said, straightening up completely and squaring her shoulders. “How should we tell everyone?”