Chapter 27 #3
Miko shifted his position, bringing his face to my firming penis. He took it by the base of the shaft, running his fingers across it, his thumb across the top. His breath tickled my flesh, making my insides sing.
“All clear,” he purred against me. “Want me to kiss it better anyway?”
I let him take me into the beautiful warmth of his mouth.
His tongue embraced every vein, his lips a vice to drive me wild. I squirmed, arms above my head, completely confused. Fingers back in his dark hair, body on blissful fire once again.
Two years of horrible tension melted away, albeit temporarily. With his body, Miko had pushed the sorrows away, undid the tightly wound anguish. Well, he loosened it at least.
I climaxed, head flung back. He drank every drop, not stopping until he took his fill.
Slumping, back against the wardrobe, I tried not to let any thinking take over. I should be mad still, getting away from him. But I liked being here with him, a gooey mess never wanting to move.
At the furthest point away from angry.
“Just like cherries,” Miko said, wiping his mouth with his thumb.
“What is?”
“Your cum.” He pulled my boxers back up.
“Really?”
He nodded, returning to his sitting position beside me. “The best kind.”
“Not sour?”
He laughed, patting my knee. “Nothing about you is sour.”
I wiggled to sit up straighter, the broken thing rattling inside the wardrobe. “Wonder what that is.”
“Sign of a good time?”
“Funny.”
He shrugged.
“Seriously, Miko. I don’t understand how we got here.”
His expression was unreadable. “Neither do I. Do you regret it already?”
“No. It felt good.” I blushed a little. “What about you?”
He smiled. “I liked it. But you’re not hurt, right? Was I too rough?”
He liked it. “No. I can handle rough.”
“I saw.”
“You felt, don’t you mean?”
“Both.” He licked his lips. “Unexpected.”
“Absolutely. Do you think it’s the bond?”
“I know it is.” He faced me. “Partly.”
“Oh.”
“You’re… You’re… Fuck. Now I’m getting shy.”
The way he said that was so cute.
“I find you attractive.” He groaned. “Too formal. You’re so fuckable.” A second groan. “Too harsh. Shit.” He ran his hand over his face. “I’m struggling here.”
I placed my hand on his healed thigh. “I think you’re hot, too.”
His smile remained intact. “Thanks.”
“What a strange evening.”
“I’ll say.” The smile faded away.
Come back…
“Look, Orion. I’m sorry for exploding at you like that. I try not to be a dick about things but sometimes I can’t help it. I’m not making excuses, but things were getting to me. The bond, Lance, and I blew.”
“It’s okay.”
“No. If it was, we wouldn’t be out here.”
“Being reckless and sweaty.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry, too. For running. I’ve really lost my head a bit. I promise I’m not this stupid normally.”
He sighed. “This is a lesson in talking shit through in the future.”
“I guess so. But will we?”
“God knows.” Miko rubbed his right eye. “Without things kicking off again, I meant what I said about not wanting anything from you. I can’t be dealing with a bonding.
And I know you’ll want a decent reason for that, but I just can’t.
I need you to understand it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. ”
Honestly, it hurt to hear. “Okay.”
“You’re not okay.”
“It’s a lot to deal with. I don’t understand why this bond happened.”
He turned his eyes to the waterfall across the room. “They say bondings are never wrong, and not always exclusively between shifters. Maybe in another life or another time this would be amazing. But it’s not.” Eyes back to me. “I’m not saying you’re not amazing.”
His shifts from broody grump to panicked cuteness layered on the bewilderment. “So this happened for a reason?”
“Probably.”
“That’s why you dreamed of me.”
He nodded.
“Not because I’m the oracle?”
“I don’t think so, but it doesn’t explain the golden gift thing.”
I changed positions, shoulder resting on the wardrobe. “You can’t tell me why you don’t want to explore this?”
“I just can’t.”
Anyone could sense a hint of deeper reasons coming off him. But getting more would be like getting blood from a stone.
He took hold of my chin, stroking me gently with his thumb. “The bond makes it hurt to say that.”
“It makes it hard to hear. But nothing or no one can force you to do something you don’t want to. Right?”
Miko looked away again, dropping his hand. “We’re supposed to be dating now. Infatuated and exploring what it means to be mates. If this world were different, I’d be busting out some moves on you.”
I smiled despite the stab of hurt at my heart again. “Can’t imagine you making moves.”
His brows pinched together. “Why not?”
“Doesn’t seem your style.”
He didn’t respond to that. “I keep apologizing, but I have to make things clear. I can’t be a mate for you. I’m sorry.”
There could be no denying my disappointment, but the apocalypse made me a realist. “Look. It’s fine.
Bonding to a shifter isn’t in my plans. It might have confused things, but I’m not looking for anything other than a way home and an end to Dawn.
I’ll help as much as possible so I can get back to my life. ”
What sort of life waited for me over in Faery if I did make it back? Could I assimilate into the fae existence again after seeing so much? After changing so much?
“Maybe this really is a mistake,” I added. “Nothing is perfect. Glitches happen.”
“Maybe.”
I patted his knee. “It might be tough for a while, but we can get through this. We don’t have to argue or be silly about things.”
“Until something like this happens again. The sex, not you running away.”
“Would that be so bad?”
“It complicates things.”
“It doesn’t have to.” Curse my burning lust for him. “I feel relaxed for the first time in a long time. If we need to burn off some steam, quell the thirst, then I’m willing to play.”
Miko licked his lips. “You say that now. What about emotional complications?”
I leaned forward slightly. “Did slamming me into this wardrobe feel emotionally complicated?”
His pupils seemed to throb as separate entities. “No.”
“Then let’s keep it on that level,” I purred.
He raked his gazed down my chest. “Or at least demonstrate some restraint.”
“That works too. But if we give in to sex, its fine. It won’t break my heart knowing that’s all I’ll get from you.”
The lie left a film of toxic denial on my tongue.
“You’re a good time,” I added to cover the tremble in my voice.
“Seems like running toward a crash,” he said.
He was right and I was a fool to suggest this. However, I’d received my first taste of him and I wanted more. I wanted to crash and burn in him, for the bond and desire to devour me, to dominate me completely.
I am your submissive body and soul…
“There has to be some pleasure in this life,” I said rather hoarsely.
“Fuck.”
I cleared my throat. “But if you think it’s best to not go there, I’m fine with it.”
“Yeah.” He sounded so sad.
So why the denial? Why not explore the possibility of happiness with me? What was holding him back? Was it because of me being fae? Did he want a shifter? Was he happier alone?
Rather than press him, I changed the subject for both our sakes. “You mentioned Lance. Did something happen when you were out with Cate?”
“Yeah. It did.” He told me about the run in with the werelynx.
“Oh, crap.”
“Exactly.”
“Can he ban you from going north of the river?”
“It’s done.”
“What about us looking for an oracle mark in Camden?”
“I don’t know.”
“Do you still want to try?”
“I don’t know.”
Anxiety ruined my afterglow. “Surely Lance wants to end Dawn, too? Even if he is a complete assbug.”
A brief smile. “God knows what Lance wants. Chaos, most likely.”
“Does he know about the oracle?”
Miko shrugged. A vacant expression overcame his features.
“Miko?”
Nothing.
I waved my hand before his face. “Miko?”
He blinked. “Yeah?”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I have no idea what he knows. For now, we stay away, we stick to this agreement. I’ll try talking to him when the dust settles. Let him have his moment first.”
“And what if he comes south? Will you start a war?”
“Not with these numbers, no.”
“A one-sided agreement, then.”
“That’s Lance for you.”
I slumped back against the wardrobe.
“How did you float like that?” he asked.
I explained the wind-watch to him, along with the new addition for upward floats.
“Very handy.”
“It can be.”
He was watching me. “Your haircut is nice, by the way.”
Regardless of us having sex, a bashful warmth flared in my face. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. We should get back.”
“Whenever you’re ready.”
“Five minutes.” His hand came to rest on my thigh.
I could get used to it being there. “Will the others come looking for us?”
“I told James not to.”
“Oh.”
“He won’t stick to it for long, so the sooner we get back the better.”
“You suggested five minutes.”
“Make it two.”
“Indecisive much?”
He poked my thigh playfully.
Stars. If only he could forget his reasons and just want me. Claim me, kiss me, make love to me, let me be his.
How wonderful it would be to be wanted.
How wonderful it would be to not be so needy.
Ugh.