Chapter 28
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
After carefully moving through the building, passing two zombies with no lower halves reaching for us, we stopped by the main entrance. A slowie slumped against the wall, surrounded by mostly rotted, really dead corpses, tried grabbing Miko.
I cleaved its head in half with my axe, the blade cutting through softened bone as if it were butter. A burp of rancid stench filled the hallway, my nose protesting the attack.
Yuck.
“Beat you,” I whispered, throwing him a wink as my stomach lurched.
It stank like rotten fish mixed with poop.
The alpha kind of smirked, then listened through the entrance doorway. Heavy boards covered the glass, a series of chains and bolts locking the door in place.
He brought a finger to his lips, hearing things beyond my eardrums’ capabilities.
Miko pointed in the direction of a fire exit, the door slightly ajar. I followed him, keeping close and light of foot.
He pushed the door open enough for him to squeeze through, offering me his hand. I took it, stepping over the skeletons of embracing lovers. Around them, fungus grew, some of it poking between their bones.
Looking down in this city was always a vile exercise.
Mercifully, we made it back to Haven without incident. Soaked, yes, but safe. Well, after killing three speedies along the way.
No thanks to me.
What a fool!
As soon as we got through the door, Miko told his pack about the encounter with Lance, and that things were smoothed over between us.
“The wanker,” Paige said. “Why is he even here?” She changed my bandages for me. “You’re almost healed.” She whispered the last part.
“Because he’s Lance,” Miko answered her question. “I need to speak with Orion privately, but we can talk again in the morning. Remember to ignore any shifters passing by. Do not engage.”
“Yes, sir.”
Trev mouthed an, “Are you okay?”
I gave him a reassuring nod.
Alone again in Miko’s flat, he said, “I think I have to do some damage control.”
“Me too, for running off like that. After I get out of these soggy clothes.”
“Yeah.”
I really want to kiss you… “So, here we are.”
“Here we are. Let’s move on.”
“By ignoring our bond.”
“Yeah. But we don’t have to ignore each other.”
“Good.” This whole thing was ridiculous, as strong as worn lace.
“We’re friends,” he said.
Mates… “That’s nice.”
He rolled his shoulders, adding nothing to the conversation.
“Is this some noble resistance thing?” I probed.
“What?”
“The reason you can’t be bonded? Like, oh I cannot follow my heart for my life is one without love because I am made of stone. You know, something like that.” I winced internally at myself. “Sorry.”
“I know I’m ridiculous,” he responded. “I just can’t give you what you need. It’s better to be friends.”
“Hey, don’t presume what I need. I’m fine. I get it. This isn’t the right time or place for romance or whatever. I’ll stop this crap now.”
Will you?
James and Cate didn’t count when it came to no room for romance in this world because they were already married. As for Paige and Trev…
What if the bond became too much to resist? Isn’t that how it worked?
“It’s all fine, Miko,” I added quickly. “As long as we can interact nicely, everything is sparkles.”
“Sparkles?”
“Sorry. Haven’t said that in a while.”
“Cute.”
Don’t call me cute and make my knees so weak… “Okay. I’m done being soggy. I’ll leave you to it.”
“Happy drying.”
I chuckled, desperate for a hug in those big arms. “You too.”
Around nine o’clock, Miko gathered everyone into the recreation flat to apologize for our behavior. He tried to speak for me, but I cut him off.
“I overreacted, like he did,” I said, making sure I made that latter point. “And all I can do is apologize and promise not to do that again.”
The pack were pretty cross with us, sitting on the bean bags while we stood together to face the music, Trev on his stool.
“This isn’t a city to be reckless in,” Cate kind of scolded.
“We’re well aware,” Miko replied. “Forgive us. Forgive me, Cate, for the outburst. You didn’t deserve that.”
She frowned at him. “I understand why.”
I got the impression if he wasn’t alpha, he’d be kissed by her fists for his crimes.
“My head—” Miko stopped himself. “I’m making no more excuses.”
“Same here,” I said.
“You don’t need to put your hand up,” Miko replied.
Oh. I hadn’t even noticed.
I brought it down. “No more drama.”
Trev laughed. “There’s always drama, mate.”
“Emotional drama.”
The troll didn’t appear convinced.
None of them asked us about the bond. A silent understanding seemed to be shared between them, including Trev. A hot topic to be left in the freezer.
“Can I say something?” James asked.
Miko nodded.
“How about we play some games now?”
“What?”
“I’m done talking about this. Everything turned out okay and I don’t have the energy to go around in circles.”
Everyone looked at each other.
“I agree,” Paige said. “You’re forgiven. Both of you. Being angry sucks.”
“This time,” Cate added.
Miko stayed for the entire games session.
Thank the stars for pack forgiveness.
Back in my flat, I took a much-needed pause. A moment alone to get my head around things.
Miko was in pain. Something terrible ate away at him, a parasitic guilt. As much as he shouldn’t suffer or deny himself what he wanted, I had no right to say that. His reasons were his own. I would respect them.
But sign me up for getting physical with him again. Which was probably asking for trouble.
Ugh.
The idea of being bonded by destiny or whatever made me uneasy.
I picked my own partners, rebutting my parents’ attempt at arranging a marriage.
The custom had become obsolete in Faery, only a handful of families still adopting it.
Mama particularly wanted to see me settle down with the eldest daughter of the family on the western hill of my home village.
Three days after expressing her wish, seventeen-year-old me was found passionately kissing the face off another fae boy in a forest clearing.
Mama’s dreams died that day, our relationship changed forever.
She loved me, but she also exuded disappointment.
I spent the following years trying to open her mind, failing every day.
She rejected my true nature, no longer my confidant and best friend.
Papa embraced me, yet he wasn’t made for being a friend.
Rather emotionally stunted, unable to deal with tears, tantrums, or affection, he could never be anything more than just my Papa.
A friendly face without much going on beneath the surface.
I sat on my sofa, lighting a candle. Grabbing a cushion, I held it tightly, curling into a ball.
“Thank you to the stars for keeping me safe,” I whispered my thanksgiving.
Despite everything, all I wanted was for my parents to hug me, to sleep under the roof of my childhood home again. See their faces, smell Mama’s cooking, watch Papa read his political books. Because being with them meant not being on Earth.
That thought became a dream as I fell asleep. A waking dream, my longing sickening, too much to bear.
A loud knock on my door broke me out of my sorrows.
I sat up, the flat still dark aside from the half-burned candle. Not morning yet.
“Should probably blow you out,” I told the melting stub of white wax.
A second knock.
I yawned, stretching my arms over my head.
A third knock.
“Wait a moment…” I mumbled.
Getting up, releasing another big yawn, I shuffled to answer the door to Miko.
“Oh.” I rubbed my eyes. “What are you doing here?”
Arms folded, anguish flickering in his features, he said, “Can I come in?” His eyes were aimed at the floor.
His voice broke me out of the last vestiges of my sleepy haze. “Yes, but why are you here? I thought we were being careful.”
A heavy sigh. “Fuck.”
“Come in.” I stepped back to allow him access.
He didn’t move. “You’re right. I shouldn’t be here.”
I waited, not knowing what to say, as confused as always.
“Can I…”
“What?”
“Can I come in?”
“I already said you could. Check me out standing aside for you.”
He looked up and smiled. “So you are.”
The alpha didn’t move. “I woke you up.”
“You did. But it’s fine. I wasn’t having the best dream.”
He sniffed. “Can you tell me about it?”
“I will if you come inside.”
“Okay.”
Still no movement.
“I tell you what,” I said, “I’m going to sit down, and you can join me when you’re ready. Unless you really don’t want to be here. Feel free to leave if you want to.”
No answer.
“There are your options.” I left him in the doorway, returning to the sofa, tucking my legs under me.
The door closed. Seconds later, he sat down next to me. Rather close.
“Hi,” I said, jamming myself into the corner of the sofa to face him.
Miko sat sideways, arm slung over the back of the sofa. “Hi.”
“Are you feeling okay?” I asked.
He nodded. “You?”
“Yes. What’s on your mind?”
“What were you dreaming about?”
“I asked you first.”
“After you.”
I threw him a half-glower. “Difficult assbug.”
A hint of a smirk crept to his lips. “Talk to me.”
Understanding he wouldn’t concede and go first, I told him about my parents.
He shuffled a little closer. “That’s so shit you’re stuck here. I’m sorry.”
“I’ve adjusted. It hits worse at night.”
“You’ve been through a lot.”
“Everyone has.”
“Yeah.”
“What about you?”
He was staring at me again. “What about me?”
I wanted to ask him about his family, friends, his life before this, but wasn’t sure how to begin.
I didn’t need to.
“My family are all dead,” he said as I began to formulate a question.
His words were a slap. “Oh. I’m so sorry.” I moved forward, a hand automatically finding his knee. “Miko…”