Chapter 30 Donovan
THIRTY
Donovan
I can’t take my eyes off Astra.
She’s beautiful as she moves, pausing at the right beats in the music like she knows this dance. Like she was made to dance the shadows safely home.
I’ve never been so captivated by someone in my entire life.
The witch has my damn heart, and the longer I watch her and the more she looks over at me with that freeing smile on her face, the more I melt for her.
She spins, looking at Fabien as they both stop for a second.
Their shadows dance behind them thanks to the huge lanterns lighting up the south side of the square.
Bright chalk decorations on the street give the shadows the appearance of having eyes, helping them to see their way to the afterlife. Or that’s how the stories go.
I don’t find beauty in many things in life. It’s not something I get the luxury to do. But standing here, watching the witches dance under the Shadow Moon, makes me feel like I’ve been missing out on seeing the good things in life.
There are three covens in the square, sharing in the celebration together.
If this doesn’t give someone a sense of community, I have no fucking clue what would.
“You’re up to something,” Torrin says as he takes the space beside me.
I cut my eyes to the side. His unhappy expression is hard to see through the strange shadows the dancing flames are making on his face, but I know it well enough to recognize the slight twist of his features.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say as I turn my attention back to Astra. She’s linked arms with a small child. She’s trying to match the child’s steps, but it all looks like a disastrous mess. A smile slips out at the sight, and I don’t even fucking care to hide it.
It’s hard to push away the thoughts rushing to the forefront of my mind. If she ever wanted children, she’d make a great mother. A quality I never thought I’d have any interest in.
It’s all too clear how Astra has changed my life, and I can’t say I hate it.
Torrin sighs.
He’s frustrated with me.
I cut my eyes to the side again, seeing he’s not just frustrated, he’s also hurt. I can tell in the way his jaw ticks like he’s trying to stuff the feeling back down.
I could laugh if the conversation weren’t so serious. Knowing the meaning of that one subtle move is a reminder of how long we’ve been around each other.
Which also reminds me, this is the first time I’ve truly lied to him.
I don’t like the weird churning in my gut.
“He’s right,” Andre inserts as he steps up on my other side.
I turn my head to glare at him. Not that it matters since his eyes are glued to the dancing happening in front of us… or rather, one particular person dancing, I would guess.
In the eight years Andre has been with me, I’ve never heard him be so bold.
“Sorry, boss,” Andre says with a shrug, still not looking at me. “It’s just that keepin’ you safe is supposed to be my job, and I wouldn’t be very good at my job if I didn’t know when somethin’ was amiss with you.”
I roll my eyes before searching the crowd for Astra once again.
Her smile dims when she looks up to see the three of us standing here.
I can’t tell if she can feel the slight panic I’m trying to push aside, or if she knows us well enough already that she can read the situation quicker than it would take to tell the two assholes beside me to fuck off.
“I don’t recall asking either of you to butt in,” I grit out.
Truth is, I can’t hate Torrin and Andre for this.
It’s pretty much their job, though I hate the way they are both ganging up on me and calling me out.
Anyone else, they’d be flayed alive right here in the middle of the street.
Well, maybe I’d drag them to a back alley and out of sight of the children first.
I check my watch discreetly as I pull out a smoke.
Time is almost up.
I wonder for a split second if I should say something to them, but I know if I do, they’ll want to come with me.
They’ll want to try to keep me alive. So, how do I tell them that my plan might involve me giving up my life for Astra’s?
I mean, it’s more of the back-up plan, but I’m not going to rule out the option if it’s the only one I have left.
“Donovan.” It comes out sounding more like a warning, and I glare at Torrin as I bring the flame to the end of my cigarette. “What’s the plan?”
“The plan is for you to stay with Astra and keep her safe. Nothing else matters, do you hear me?”
“Fuckin’ hell, Donovan,” Torrin growls as he turns and steps right in front of me. I growl a warning in return as I move so I can have eyes on Astra. “No, you don’t get to do this. I deserve to know what the hell is going on. I deserve to know what I’m up against.”
“You’re not up against anything,” I tell him, doing my best to keep the rage under control. “I am. I’ve told you what I need from you. Keep Astra safe, and if I don’t make it to see tomorrow…”
“Shut up with that shit,” he seethes. Now he’s in my face.
I can see the hurt and anger swirling in his eyes.
“All these years I’ve been by your side.
I’ve helped you. I’ve watched your back.
I’ve been your goddamn friend. Not because I want your fucking empire!
No! It’s because you are my fucking brother.
My family. And if you’re in some shit, it fuckin’ means I’m in some shit too.
It’s always been that way, and it will always be that way, no matter what. ”
It’s weird to hear him say it. Weird, I think, to actually let it sink in.
Sure, it’s been there this whole time, as an unspoken thing between us.
He is my brother, too. My family. The person I trust the most in this life.
I don’t have to say it or let the world see it, but I’ll always have his back, too, because of this.
Because I fucking care about the dumbass.
I’m so close to rolling my eyes at him. I would if his outburst hadn’t put me a little on edge.
“Now, now,” Andre says rather coolly from beside us before I can spill my secrets.
I’m actually not sure I would have been able to hold them in much longer, not after that display from Torrin.
“You don’t wanna be attractin’ attention, do ya?
Might want to simmer.” He sighs. “Well, too damn late now.”
“Guys?” Astra says a second later. She’s close, and I curse myself for taking my damn eyes off her. “Everything okay?”
I drop my smoke to the ground and crush it out as Torrin’s mask comes down.
He turns toward her with an easygoing smile on his face, and if I didn’t know him, I wouldn’t have a damn clue it wasn’t real.
It would just leave me with the sense that two friends were over here squabbling in a playful sense.
“Everything’s fine,” I bite out, knowing damn well I’m showing my irritation. “Time to go.”
With that, I grab Astra’s hand and start walking in the direction of the house.