Chapter 31 Astra
THIRTY-ONE
Astra
“Thank you,” I say softly to Donovan as we walk. I even try to send him a small smile.
I hate that we’re leaving so early, but I understand. I don’t really think I should complain about spending a couple of hours alone with him… if that is what he has in mind. I’m really hoping it is.
He grunts, still clearly agitated over whatever the heck happened between Torrin and him. I want to ask, but I also want to live in blissful denial a little longer. I’m not ready to have this night ruined.
When he finally looks at me, I see a change in him instantly.
It’s almost like his body goes from a tightly coiled snake ready to strike to a cat sunbathing in a window.
I nearly laugh at the thought. Okay, it’s not quite like that, but I like the image and decide to keep it around for a little while.
For the first time, I can say for sure his reaction is all his own.
I’ve got my emotions on lockdown, and while I’m a long way from mastering the art of controlling my abilities, I do know how to tell when they’ve been activated.
Since I don’t feel that strange static zap under my skin, I know this is all him.
Whether that sounds awesome or nerdy, I can’t tell.
“You’re welcome,” he finally says to me. There’s no smile on his face, but I can see a light in his eyes.
“Shall we… watch a movie when we get ho—” I clear my throat. “Back to your place?” I don’t pretend to have played that off smoothly.
It hits me, I don’t really have a home. Sure, it felt like living with the aunts was a home, but now that I know the truth about that place, I can’t think of it the same ever again.
I know I had a home with my mom, but it was so long ago.
Even if I’m getting my memories back, it’s not like a lot of them have returned.
I still have so many gaps. I can’t remember what it was like living with her.
I don’t even need to say that my father’s place doesn’t count. There was never a moment when I felt like I could live there and be a part of his family. I was never welcome there, and I never would want to be after truly knowing who my father is.
Is it stupid to think that after a week, Donovan’s place could feel more like home than anything I’ve had in a long time? Maybe for the first time in my adult life, I finally understand what it’s like to be a part of something. To be accepted for who I am.
I look around, seeing the muscle surrounding us like we’re something sacred.
The way they’re willing to give their lives for us, and I have a feeling it’s not all for a paycheck.
There has to be something more. I see Fabien walking beside Andre, the two of them in a conversation.
Well, it looks more like Fabien is nervously rambling while Andre nods and hums every now and then.
Andre’s focus is on our surroundings, but the way his mouth curls up at the corners is a dead giveaway to the fact that he’s actually listening to the animated witch beside him as well.
I turn my attention to Torrin, walking with one hand in his pocket.
He appears casual, but for me, it’s easy to see how he’s two steps in front of Donovan, ready to cover him should trouble come.
This is Donovan’s family. Along with Lucille. Oh, and all the people I haven’t met yet, because I’m sure there are more. They take care of him, and I know he takes care of them too in his own way. He may not show it, but he does care about those he keeps close.
I might not exactly be one of them, but to have stood on the outer rim and basked in the warmth of this patchwork family for even a moment has been everything. I never knew what I was searching for until now.
I just want to be surrounded by people I trust and who want nothing more than to share little moments in life together. People who will be there for me the same way I will be there for them. And we face the good and the bad together.
I’m so lost in my head that it takes me a minute to realize Donovan hasn’t answered me about watching a movie.
I look up at him, expecting to see his attention on something other than our conversation.
But he’s looking at me with an apology in his eyes.
My stomach drops.
“Donovan?” I ask, tears springing to my eyes, but I don’t have the first clue why. “What’s going on?”
It doesn’t matter if I don’t have any proof, I know he’s hiding something from me.
“Not here, My Beauty.” His words are soft, meant only for me.
I swallow hard, but nod as if I understand.
Except, I don’t. I have something kicking in my gut, but no explanation as to the reason behind it. I hate it.
Oh, here we go.
I feel my control slipping. As I let go, my feet come to a stop.
The protective crowd around us seems to follow my lead, pausing in their steps and waiting.
We’re far enough away from the square and everyone gathered for the celebration, so I’m not worried about catching some unwanted attention and giving the city’s gossip train more fuel.
Donovan’s hand tightens around mine as he turns to face me. There’s a deadly warning in his eyes.
“Astra.” And with that one word… with my name, he softens. I hate it as much as I love it. I know I’m the only one he’ll do that for, but right now, I’m itching for an argument. I’m craving for him to throw down with me. To kick and yell and scream. To fucking fight for…
For…
Us?
Because I realize the look behind his eyes says he’s given up, and I don’t like it.
It’s like we’re walking back to his house, but all he’s seeing is the executioner waiting up ahead.
No, I won’t let us go out so complacently.
“It’s not over,” I tell him.
Tires screech, causing me to flinch. A second later, loud pops fill the air.
The breath is stolen from my lungs when I hit the ground, and the body on top of me feels heavy… like dead weight.
I hear the crunch of crumpling metal followed by the shattering of glass. It oddly sounds like hail as the shards rain down on the scene.
This is bad.
Really bad.
“Andre!” I hear Fabien scream.
My head is dizzy and I don’t know which way is up.
“No, no,” I cry out as I hurry to crawl out from under the heavy body and flip whoever it is over. The open, blank eyes staring up at me aren’t Donovan’s. I feel bad for being thankful, and hate myself because I don’t even know his name.
“Up,” Donovan says as he shakes off Torrin and pulls me to my feet by my arm. “Move, move.”
Donovan shields my body as we back up. His gun is out and trained on the black car that is half in the storefront to our right. He fires a shot, and it bounces off the glass.
“Fuck!” he roars as he keeps moving backward.
I look to the left to see another black car rolling to a stop.
We’re blocked in. There’s only one way to go.
“The alley,” Torrin says at the same time I turn my head to see that our only chance for escape is the dark space between two buildings.
“Fabien, go!” Donovan orders, shoving the shaken man behind him.
Fabien’s face is as white as a sheet, and when I get a closer look at the wreckage, I see why.
It’s like I can’t take my eyes off the arm sticking out from under the front tire.
As if the purple sleeve isn’t enough of a hint to whose arm it is, the black imprint of a coiled snake around his wrist gives Andre away.
“I can’t leave him like that! We have to get help.” Fabien is frantic, breathing heavily and nearly on the verge of tears.
Even I know there’s no way for us to do that. I don’t bother to tell him it might even be too late.
“Fabien, we have to go,” I say, grabbing his shoulders and giving him a good shake to snap him out of it, but it’s easy to see he’s lost to the shock of the situation.
“I can…” He sucks in a gasping breath, his eyes moving wildly. “Just let me…”
He moves with his hand outstretched like he’s trying to touch Andre. I feel at a loss and don’t know what to do. He dives to the ground, wrapping his hand around the exposed skin of Andre’s visible wrist. I need to get him up, I know, I just don’t know how.
Luckily, Torrin yanks him up by the back of his ruffly coller and shoves him in the right direction. Fabien moves like he’s on autopilot as he backs up away from the danger. I grab his hand, and that seems to shake him out of it.
“This isn’t right,” Torrin says just as the four of us turn to run.
Is this what’s left of us? But how?
Shaking the thoughts off, I command my feet to move faster.
Why aren’t they chasing after us? Crap! Torrin’s right.
They weren’t trying to run us down, they were herding us.
And we fell right into their trap.
Donovan curses under his breath. He must have realized the same thing I just did.
My shoes slide over pebbles and debris as I try to come to a quick stop. Fabien’s still running into the darkness.
“Wait!” I call out as Donovan and Torrin also come to a halt beside me, but I’m too late.
Bright headlights pop on farther down the alley, lighting up the space so bright I have to squint and raise my hand in front of my face. It’s useless, I can’t see anything.
Donovan raises his gun, but I stop him with a hand on his wrist. He could accidentally shoot Fabien. I struggle to stay still as Fabien calls out for help. I want to run to him so badly. I can’t let them hurt Fabien. He wasn’t even supposed to be here.
This is all my fault.
Two shots go off, so close together it doesn’t sound real.
Torrin lets out an “oomph” before he staggers and falls against the brick wall.
Blood blooms on the shoulder of his already red suit, turning the silky fabric darker in a way that doesn’t feel real.
Or maybe I just don’t want it to be real.
My feet move in his direction as the world seems to fall silent.
The pounding in my ears is getting louder.
“Go,” Torrin tells me.