Chapter 19 – Bellamy
BELLAMY
The sun’s reflection dances on the water’s surface, casting a glow over us as I stand next to Sebastian on the open deck of the yacht. The wind tousles my hair, and my heart races with a mixture of excitement and nerves.
“Are you all right?” Sebastian’s deep voice cuts through the sound of the waves below us.
“I’m just a little nervous,” I admit, clutching the railing. “I’ve never been on a boat before.”
Sebastian wraps his arm around me, pulling me close. “Do you feel sick?”
I shake my head. “No. But it’s a new sensation all the same.”
“Keep your feet spread and allow your body to move along with the boat. If you fight it, that’s when your body rebels. Almost like anything else.”
“We’re floating in the same water we set him into.”
Sebastian turns his gaze down at me, lifting his reflective sunglasses. He’s only wearing swim trunks and I swear, the view never gets old. Tall with broad shoulders and muscles for days, the king of Messalina is a seriously sexy beast. And all mine.
“Yes. That was sort of my thinking. I wanted you to feel close to him and yet experience some independence and freedom. You can be close to him and yet still live your life without him.”
His words hit me, almost knocking me sideways, and I feel a small weight lift from my chest. “You’re right.
I can do that. And it’s what he’d want. I know I keep saying that and I think part of me is trying to force that notion down my throat, but in my heart, in my soul, I know it to be true.
He said it to me the night I got my tattoo. ”
Sebastian’s lips meld with mine, his tongue seeking entrance I’m only too happy to give him. “Come on,” he rasps, leading me to the back of the yacht where the children splash in the pool.
I loved our honeymoon. It was magical, albeit short, but there is something extra about this. About all of us being together. But it’s more than this. It’s the clouds parting.
The ache in my chest isn’t gone. The pain that rattles every piece of my insides is still there.
And sometimes, I won’t lie, I’m not sure I can take a breath without it hurting.
But right now, I feel like I’ll be able to find my way through this.
That there is dawn after the darkest of nights and that even when I have bad moments and bad days and bad weeks, I won’t be left to fight alone.
“Look at Arthur!” Sabrina shouts, pointing at our ferret, who dips his paws into the water before darting away, leaving a trail of wet paw prints on the deck.
“Does Arthur know how to swim?” Zayer questions, spinning around in his floaty, and I don’t know how to respond.
“I think so.” I half shrug. “I think he’s just being careful,” I tell him.
“Arthur, come back!” Zayer shouts. “Come swim with us.”
“He will,” Phaedra tells him, trying to do somersaults in the water though it isn’t that deep. “Being a royal is a lot to learn. I should know. I’m going to be queen one day.”
I snicker and so does Sebastian.
A look must cross my face because suddenly Sebastian whispers, “Go on, join them,” in my ear. He even takes it a step further and gives me a gentle nudge.
I don’t know why I’m hesitant. Then again, everything about me has been off or twisted since my dad died.
Taking a deep breath, I step up to the edge of the pool and sit on the narrow deck so I can dangle my feet in.
The cool water laps at my toes and crawls up to my calves, sending a shiver up my spine.
“Bellamy! Swim with us?” Phaedra asks. “None of the other grownups ever swim with us. Please.”
“Ah! Okay! I’m going in. But it’s cold!” I laugh as I jump into the pool, the crystal-clear water enveloping me as I sink to the bottom since it’s not even four feet deep.
As I surface, laughter and playful splashes fill the air, and I realize that this is exactly what we all needed.
I never would have considered another vacation.
First we had our honeymoon and then Switzerland—though I’d hardly call that a vacation, but this is, well, this is everything.
To be together as a family, reveling in each other’s company and finding joy once more is what I needed even when I didn’t know it.
Sebastian did this for me. For the children too, but he did it for me.
I don’t have words for what this is in my heart.
For the first time in weeks, I feel alive and whole, and I know my father would have wanted nothing more than to see me happy again.
After dinner, as the sun dips lower in the sky, casting a warm hue over the yacht and the sparkling water, I can’t help but chuckle as Arthur darts around the deck, his sleek body weaving in and out of the children’s grasps.
Phaedra, Sabrina, and Zayer squeal each time he narrowly escapes their fingers only to plunge into the pool and swim to the other side.
Clearly, he can swim when needed.
“Little menace,” Sebastian murmurs, a glass of bourbon in his hand, still wearing his swim trunks, but he’s added a blue T-shirt that makes his eyes look like rare sapphires.
“You can pretend all you want, but you’re not fooling anyone.”
He grumbles and Rowan reaches out, giving me a fist bump as he sips his own drink.
“Rowan, when are you going to go off and find a woman to name as your princess?”
He grunts, throwing me a glare. “Don’t start.”
“But, aren’t you known as an international playboy?”
Althea chokes on her brandy.
“He’s hung up on the woman he’ll never find again.”
“Shut it, brother. We don’t all have willing, beautiful women fall in our laps.”
I hold up my hand. “Oh, hey now. I definitely didn’t fall in his lap.”
Rowan smiles like the devil. “No? How did it go then?”
I think about it for a moment, a blush hitting my cheeks in full force. “Fine. Maybe I did fall in his lap, but no more than he fell in mine.”
“True. I can’t argue that.” Rowan laughs. “Sebastian fell hard and fast for you. I had never heard him speak of any woman the way he spoke about you.”
I snort. “Oh, you mean by calling her a hot pain in his ass?”
“Something like that. The fact that he was speaking about you, that you elicited genuine emotion from him, was masterful.”
“I’ll take it. But where is your woman, Rowan?”
“Gone. Likely for good, so what’s the point of searching for someone who doesn’t want to be found? I have to face the facts. I got used.”
I hold in my smirk and exchange glances with Althea, who is doing the same.
“That must be so difficult,” I muse. “Knowing you were used.”
He rolls his eyes at me. “I see what you’re doing there, but I never used anyone. All those women were just as happy with the exchange as I was.”
I shrug. “If you say so.”
“Did you see that?!” Zayer cuts in, his eyes wide. “Mama. Look. Arthur’s so fast!”
I shoot upright as does Sebastian, our gazes locked before I turn back to Zayer. My throat clogs, and I can hardly swallow past the emotion I’m overwhelmed with.
“I did, sweetheart,” I manage, my heart swelling with a love I never imagined possible. “Sebastian—”
“I know. I heard.”
He gathers me in his arms and kisses my temple.
Zayer has absolutely no memory of Nora. He was four months old when she died, and I shouldn’t get all riled up over the fact that he called me Mama when Sebastian refers to me as their mother in front of them.
I don’t expect the same from Sabrina and definitely not from Phaedra, as her memory of Nora is the clearest, but still, my heart just inflated like a balloon.
I don’t want to replace Nora. That’s impossible. But I want to be the next best thing for them.
It continues from there. The children’s laughter is like music to my ears, the sound filling me with a warmth that seems to chase away the lingering sadness within me. I’m smiling and it’s far from forced. This would make my father so, so happy and that’s what I hold to.
“Your Majesty,” Sebastian whispers into my ear, his breath tickling my neck. “Would you care to join me on the lower sundeck for a bit?”
A flush hits my cheeks as Althea and Rowan exchange knowing grins. “Of course,” I say, trying to be all regal and formal and not fooling anyone for a second.
“Phaedra, Sabrina, and Zayer, you have ten minutes before you have to go inside, get changed for bed, brush your teeth, and put yourselves and your pesky Arthur to sleep,” Sebastian calls out.
“Yes, Papa,” they all respond in unison, but between the staff, Rowan, and Althea, they’re in good hands.
The moment we reach the lower sundeck, the world seems to fall away.
The only sounds are the gentle lap of water against the hull and the distant laughter of the children.
As Sebastian pulls me into his arms, I melt into him, our bodies pressing together like two pieces of a puzzle finally finding their place.
It’s been a while for us. I just haven’t had the desire, and he hasn’t pressed. Not even once.
“Sebastian,” I breathe, my voice barely audible. I have so much I want to say and hardly know where to begin.
“Shh,” he murmurs, pressing a finger to my lips before replacing it with a deep, passionate kiss. Our mouths move together hungrily as if trying to make up for lost time.
“God, I’ve missed this.”
I can’t help but agree, feeling a surge of desire course through me.
Sebastian seems to sense my need, his hands roaming over my body as if he’s trying to relearn every curve and contour. I gasp as his fingers find the clasp at the back of my bikini top, expertly unhooking it.
My hands cover my chest, holding the fabric against my tits. “Out here?”
“The children and everyone else will be inside. Out here, on this side of the boat, it’s just us.”
I gulp at that promise. At the wicked fire burning his eyes.
I step back and undo the string around my neck, letting the bikini top fall. His gaze burns through me, a match to accelerant, and suddenly I’m on fire.
“You’re so beautiful,” he rasps, his eyes drinking me in like a man starved of water.
I turn away from him and crawl onto the sunbed, putting myself on all fours with my ass facing him. My head swivels over my shoulder, and I smirk when I catch him blatantly staring at my ass. An ass I know he wants.
My pussy clenches.
“Your Majesty?” I goad. “Are you just going to stand there taking in the view?”
His lips bounce. “Perhaps. It’s quite the view.” He runs his hand along his jaw.
“Hmm.” I reach back and pull the string on the side of my bottoms causing them to fall away. I feel like being naughty. I feel like making him wild with need. Then I need him inside me. I need to feel my king. My husband. My lover. I need to feel love and heat and passion.
He sucks in a rush of air as I kick them away, leaving me naked before him. I roll onto my back and trail my hands along my body.
“My queen, I did not give you permission to touch yourself.”
Ah. There he is.
“No?” I shrug, feigning indifference. “But it feels so good.” My hands slip along my breasts, down the slope and rise of my stomach, and over my pussy.
The pleasure is almost as great as the relief I’m feeling.
I want sex. I’m turned on. I could laugh with how incredible that feels. It’s like I’m alive again.
Sebastian did that for me.
I quirk a finger at him, but he shakes his head.
“Spread your thighs wider. Play with your pussy. Finger your cunt. But you’re not allowed to come. I simply want to watch.”
And he does. The bastard sits on the edge of the bed, just out of my reach, and watches me touch myself. Well this backfired on me.
“So fucking perfect. Look at you.”
“Please, Sebastian,” I beg, craving him like a woman on the edge, even as I touch myself. I rub my clit, but it’s not what I want. It’s not what I need. “I need you inside me now. No waiting. No foreplay. Just take me.”
He doesn’t need any further encouragement.
With a growl, he rips his shirt from his head along with his trunks.
He hovers over me, his blue-gray eyes serious and dangerous. “Are you sure?”
“I need you to fill me up. I need to feel you.”
His fingers trace my opening, already finding me soaked and ready for him. In one bold move, he thrusts straight into me, wrenching gasps and groans from both of us.
His eyes hold mine, our fingers linked as he hovers over me and pumps into me, his mouth coming in and kissing me, tasting me, loving me.
He fucks me with an unhurried pace, with his eyes never straying from mine for long.
We get lost in each other like this, as we always do, with the setting sun and the sea as our background.
It’s as if our souls are intertwined, healing the wounds we’ve both suffered and making us whole once more.
He's both the beast and the man. Fucking and powerful and commanding while loving and taking care of me. The one who fills my heart with endless wonder and promise.
“I love you, Bellamy,” he whispers, his voice hoarse after he’s brought us both to a shuddering climax.
“I love you. Always.”