Chapter 28 – Bellamy
BELLAMY
It’s been two days since Sebastian’s study, and though he hasn’t gotten out of bed again in the middle of the night, nothing feels better.
If anything, it feels worse. One moment he’s sweet and loving like his old self with me and the next it’s as if he’s remembered himself and I visibly see him shutting down.
I don’t know what to do or how to reach him.
I keep hoping things will get better. Hell, I had hopes Charlotte would be that link, but that link seems to be attaching in different ways. Ways I’m not included in.
I lean against the cool ledge, my fingers tracing the intricate patterns carved into the stone. My gaze drifts out the window to the courtyard below, where the lively laughter of my husband reaches my ears as he walks alongside our children’s nanny. Even Arthur is in on this.
My jaw locks. It’s her fucking day off.
Their conversation appears friendly. Innocent even.
Except whatever they’re talking about has Sebastian throwing his head back in laughter, and Charlotte’s eyes sparkling with amusement.
Although I know it shouldn’t, jealousy surges within me, twisting my insides like a serpent coiling around its prey.
It’s been weeks since Sebastian laughed like that with me, and the ache in my heart grows sharper with every passing day. Our once unbreakable connection has become fragile, stretched thin by the weight of an unseen force and the distance that seems to only grow between us.
“Watching the world go by?” Rowan pulls me from my thoughts as he comes and stands beside me, his brow furrowed as he too gazes at the scene unfolding below.
“Something like that,” I murmur, unable to tear my eyes away. “Or perhaps simply my marriage.”
“When you fell it scared the shit out of him.”
I give him a sharp look. “It scared the shit out of me too. It’s not an excuse, Rowan.”
“No,” he agrees. “I know it’s not and so does he.”
“What do I do?” I pan my hand toward them. “Sebastian seems…happy with her. He’s not with me.”
Rowan chuckles, but it’s devoid of humor.
“He doesn’t want her. Trust me. He’s totally and completely obsessed with you.
So much so that he hates himself for thinking that he’s risked your life and the lives of the babies by marrying you.
It’s guilt and self-loathing that’s keeping him away.
Not her. She approached him and asked to go for a walk to discuss the children. That’s what you’re seeing.”
“I hear what you’re saying, and yet she didn’t ask me to come for a walk to talk about the children, and he didn’t think to include me. It’s her freaking day off, Rowan.”
His eyes narrow as they follow Charlotte and Sebastian on their little stroll. “I’m not sure about her, Bellamy.”
“Charlotte?” I ask, my interest piqued. “What do you mean?”
“Look, she’s great with the children. Really great, actually,” Rowan admits, rubbing the back of his neck.
“But I caught her snooping by Sebastian’s office and study a few days ago, right before I left.
And I’m almost certain she was listening in on a private conversation between Sebastian and me.
We were discussing Marie and Desta and then you but when I left the room abruptly, she was there, almost pressed against the door.
She said she wanted to ask him something but didn’t want to interrupt, which is why she was by the door. ”
My stomach churns and I bite my lip, trying to quell the unease that threatens to overtake me.
“That’s…unsettling.” A chill runs down my spine as I recall the other times I’ve caught Charlotte lurking in places she shouldn’t be.
“I caught her doing the exact same thing outside his study when you and Sebastian were in there talking. She gave me the same excuse.”
His gaze flicks back to me, concern etched across his features. “Really?”
I nod, swallowing hard. “Yes, but I wasn’t sure if I was just being paranoid or not.
But hearing you say it…I’m worried, Rowan.
What is she up to? Sebastian said the reason she was in his study the other night when I caught them is because she was wandering the palace in the middle of the night and ‘heard a noise and went to investigate it.’” I put air quotes around that.
“Huh. I’m not sure what to say or think about that. Why would she snoop around and listen to our conversations?”
“No clue. But it obviously seems like she is.”
“I agree. But for now, maybe we just keep an extra close eye on her. Don’t worry. It could be nothing,” he assures me, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.
“I know,” I murmur, only it doesn’t feel that way anymore. I shake that off, trying to shift our focus away from Charlotte and the growing unease. I turn back to Rowan since he just got back. “How was your trip, by the way? Did you find anything useful?”
He takes a deep breath, his demeanor changing as he recounts his trip.
“Yes, actually. I managed to track down a residence Marie used to live in. It’s an old, abandoned house on the outskirts of a small town in Italy.
Not too dissimilar from the cottage where the blanket and onesie were found.
I discovered some letters and other belongings she left behind, but not much about Desta.
Still, I think I’m close to tracking her down.
Having her real name and fingerprints is proving useful. ”
“Really?” I ask, my eyes widening in surprise. The thought of finally finding Marie brings a complex mix of emotions—fear, anticipation, and a twinge of hope that maybe, just maybe, things might start to turn around. That they could finally find out what happened to Desta.
“Yes, I need to do some more digging, but I have a few leads I’m going to follow up on,” Rowan explains, determination radiating from him.
“Please be careful, Rowan,” I plead, knowing the dangers that can come when searching for someone who doesn’t want to be found.
“Always,” he replies with a reassuring smile. “I’m not going to let anything happen to any of us, Bellamy. We’ll get through this. I feel like if we can get some more answers, that’ll help Sebastian too. He just has to work through this. He’ll get there. We all will.”
“Thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me.”
The world around us may be filled with uncertainty and darkness, but at least I have someone by my side who is willing to help navigate the treacherous waters. And that, in itself, is a small flicker of hope.
Rowan pats my shoulder and walks off, leaving me here just as the sound of laughter echoes through the hallway.
I glance down the corridor and see Sebastian entering the palace with Charlotte by his side.
She’s talking animatedly, and my husband is listening intently, an amused smile playing on his lips.
The sight makes my stomach churn.
“Thanks for the talk and the walk,” Charlotte says. “I feel better.”
“Good. I’m glad,” he replies. “Now go take the rest of your day off.”
She laughs and in a playful voice says, “Yes, sir.” With a sudden, bold move, she leans up and plants a kiss on Sebastian’s cheek. Shock flashes across his face and he takes a step back, touching his cheek. Charlotte gives a wave and practically skips off, but all I see is red.
“Sebastian,” I snap, my voice trembling with anger as I step forward to confront him. “What the hell was that?”
“Bellamy, it wasn’t what it looked like,” he replies quickly, attempting to defuse the situation.
“Really?” I scoff, my heart pounding in my chest. “Because it looks like you’re getting awfully cozy with our nanny.”
“Charlotte just got carried away for a moment,” Sebastian tries to explain, his eyes pleading with me to understand. “We were just discussing Phaedra’s school. You know how her teacher is very strict with her. It was nothing more than that.”
“Carried away?” I repeat, my voice rising in disbelief.
Hurt and betrayal weigh heavily on me, making it difficult to breathe.
“You’ve been pulling away from me, and now I find you laughing and carrying on with her?
And you do this after I found you the other night sharing a freaking midnight drink?
What the hell? She didn’t come to ask me anything.
She went straight for you, and there you were, all too happy to go for a stroll. ”
He looks wrecked, but more than that, he looks freaking guilty, and it’s only ratcheting my fury up. “Please, Bellamy, don’t make this into something it’s not,” he implores, reaching out to touch my arm. I flinch away, unable to bear the contact.
“Something it’s not?” I snap, tears threatening to spill over.
“I’ve been feeling the distance between us growing for weeks now, and all the while you’ve been getting closer to her.
You call me their mother, and yet you’re having discussions about them with her without me.
I’m on the outside looking in because you’ve erected a wall between us.
I thought we were partners. I thought we were supposed to face everything together. ”
“Of course we are,” he insists, his voice cracking with emotion.
“I’m just…a mess,” he admits. “I’m a fucking mess and I’m trying to fix it.
My children were born into this, but I brought you into this, the same as I did with Nora.
Since you became mine, you were nearly killed, you were dragged through the mud by the media, your father died, and you fell and could have lost your pregnancy.
All within a matter of a couple of months.
I’m the villain of your life and yet I love you more than I love myself.
I just…I don’t know. I need some space in order to figure out how to reconcile all of this and it’s harder now than it ever was.
But I promise it has nothing to do with Charlotte. ”