Czar 4.
The cool evening air blows over my shoulders, exhaust and despair surround me like a dirty blanket…I’m home. Pittsburgh International Airport, actually, but close enough. My duffle sits at my feet, my left hand playing idly with some change in my pocket, as I wait for my dad outside baggage claim. A grin, broad and bright, stretches my lips when I spot the familiar navy-blue SUV pulling to a stop at the curb in front of me. Windows tinted, I can’t see who’s driving, but the driver’s side door opens a moment later and my father’s chin length salt and pepper hair bobs as he rounds the front of the vehicle. Fuckin’ hell, it’s good to see him.
“Elazar.” He breathes out and in the next second, I’m pressing against his broad chest, soaking in the scent of leather and ginger, our arms wrapping around one another as tight as possible.
I’ve been in the military for seven years now. I prospected with the club for a year, then enlisted in the Army at 19, unable to deny the draw the rest of the world seemed to have over me. I spent my youth surrounded by giants, as my generation likes to claim, watching my parents, aunts, and uncles fighting the demons that dwelled too close to home for comfort. I’ve always wanted to follow in their footsteps, but I knew the world was a big, scary place, and I naively thought I could grow into a giant myself on foreign soils. I’d like to think I’ve made a difference in the world during my tenure in the United States Army, but more often than not, it felt as if placing a band aid over a volcano. I’ve spent the last three years realizing that demons don’t dwell only in Pittsburgh, they are all over the United States, dressed as businessmen, politicians, teachers…I never needed to leave to find evil, it resides in our backyards.
“It’s time, son.” Lukas Freidman is a smart man, and as he leans back to meet my eyes, dark like mine, I know he isn’t just talking about leaving the airport. I exhale long and slow, bending to pick up my duffle and square my shoulders.
“Did I last longer than you thought? Who had less than 8 years in the betting pool?” I joke humorlessly, the weight of my decision suddenly overwhelming. I feel stupid that it took me so long to recognize my mistake.
“Elazar.” His voice stern, the tone familiar enough from my youth. “Get in the fucking vehicle.” He guides me to the SUV with his hand firmly on my shoulder. I toss my bag in the back, then get comfortable in the passenger seat for the hour-long ride back to the clubhouse.
“Dad—”
“Nope.” He holds up his hand to stop me, then shifts into Drive, checks his mirrors and pulls back into traffic. It’s not busy this time of night, my military escort is not part of any commercial airlines. I was one of three passengers and the other two were continuing on.
After a few minutes of tense silence, Judah clears his throat and glances at me out of the corner of his eye. “How fucking dumb are you?” I rear back at his words, my mouth gaping in shock, while he shakes his head in disappointment. “We are so fucking proud of you, Elazar. Proud of each of our children. It takes strength no gym workout can provide to clear your own path in life. To leave behind everything you know, everything that’s comfortable and safe and familiar…to be true to yourself and not give in to the guilt of Jewish mothers, aunts, and uncles.” I snort, thinking of the way my mom tried to convince me to stay, how she let Aunt Pris, and the others tie me to a chair and force feed me “gruel” in the hopes it would turn me away from the military.
“You gave our country seven years of your life. You travelled the world. You met people from every walk of life. You formed lifelong friendships, a brotherhood that goes deeper than shared interests. Your uncles and I…we did what was best for us and our community at the time. But my path, my life, my decisions are not yours. You learned valuable skills, honed your mind and body, and chipped away at the exuberance of youth to find the grown ass man underneath. I was proud of that kid, and I am damn proud of the man you have become. And all that experience and knowledge will serve you well in the Golem Guerillas…in Morgantown.”
I feel like I’ve been slapped. If he struck me, tickled me, pulled out a 5-course meal from under the seats I would be less surprised. How did he know? His words sink in and…how did I not know?
“You are dumb. Dammit, I owe your mother.”
“You did bet on me?”
“Well, of course we fucking did. But not about how long you’d last in the Army. You served your country and that isn’t anything to bet on.”
“But my being dumb is?”
“Duh.” He sasses and both of us start laughing, he sounded so much like my sisters just now. “I thought my son, my first born, was smart enough to see what’s right in front of him, and that he had enough faith in me as his father and President to see it too.”
“And mom?”
Dad smirks, “Your mom loves you to distraction, Elazar. And she apparently knows you better than I do. Akivah said you probably hadn’t admitted it to yourself yet.” He sighs, looks at me briefly and then back at the road. “The moment Jupiter and Mars and the rest of those big fuckers came to the clubhouse…I knew I didn’t stand a chance at keeping you. Whenever you decided to leave the Army, it would be to follow them. Wait.” He puts his hand on my arm when I open my mouth. I’m not even sure what I was going to say because he’s right. “We love you. You love us. We’re a happy fucking song sung by a giant purple dinosaur. But Squirrel Hill isn’t your home anymore, son.”
He lets me think that over for a while. I finally turn to him and ask, “You didn’t plan on me taking over for you?”
My father is gone in an instant, replaced by the Club President who grins maniacally. Man spends too much time with Zebulun. “We aren’t a monarchy, Czar, the presidency doesn’t follow bloodline. It follows merit, worth, loyalty, dependability, fast thinking, heart—”
“Alright! I got it, I don’t fit the criteria.” For fuck’s sake that hurts. I feel—“What the fuck!” Judah backhands me in the face, hard. Now that hurts.
“Fucking idiot children. All Akivah’s fault, babied you too much, made you simple.”
“I’m gonna tell her you said that. And HIT me!” His eyes widen fractionally in fear, then settle into indifference. Bullshit, he’ll be making it up to my mother later...loudly and I will be anywhere but their apartment when he does.
“I just got done telling you that your path was leading you to Morgantown. You can’t be club president of Squirrel Hill if you’re living an hour and a half away.”
“You’re really ok with me following them?”
“You aren’t following them so much as going where you’re needed.”
Portunus, Opis, Orcus, Cupid, Vulcan…we’ve all been biding our time under the watchful eye of Uncle Sam until the right time to walk away free and clear and into the welcoming bosom of Mars…fuck, he’d sever a limb if he heard me say that, joking or not. Point is, I hadn’t allowed myself to admit, to think, to plan about joining the Morgantown chapter because it would be too distracting to wait. Going home is one thing, moving on to the next stage of my life in a new place with a new set of dangers…
“Moses, Aaron, and Miriam, you’re bouncing in your seat like the first time you saw titties.”
“The first time I saw titties that didn’t belong to someone I’m related to. Totally different experience. And Megan Mastromonaco’s bikini should be given the Medal of Honor for going AWOL and giving all the young men at the pool a glimpse of perfection.”
Judah grunts unimpressed, “I’ll be sure to mention that to your future wife when I meet her.”
“Uh…you keep this to yourself, and I won’t tell mom and the Gauche Guerillas what you said earlier.”
He tilts his head back and forth in thought, “I accept your terms.” He inhales deeply, his hands gripping tighter on the wheel, “How long until you’re out?”
“Ugh.” I groan, slouch in my seat and close my eyes. “Technically, less than 6 months. I submitted all my paperwork, waiting for it to make it where it needs to go and my final medical assessment to be scheduled.”
“Technically…?”
“Gundy.” Dad growls, familiar with the name of my CO and pain in the ass of service members near and far.
“6 months. That’ll work.” Well, that’s cryptic.
“Dad?”
“I wanna retire. Honestly, we all do. We’re tired, arthritic, and occasionally constipated. We’ve been doing this for a long fucking time. Zeb and Auggie and Asher and Revkah have grandkids on the way. We want to travel, see some of that world we’ve only glimpsed in your pictures. And with you coming home…I think it’s time to pass on the baton to the next generation.”
“But I’ll be in Morgantown?”
“You will. But you’ll only be a short car ride away. We want a front row seat to the next chapter of your life, and your brother and sisters. My life from the age of 16 has been about helping others, bettering someone else’s life, giving them the tools necessary to live a good life. I want time to enjoy the good life I’ve built. When Konstantin died…it gave us the push we needed to start prioritizing our own happiness. The next generation is ready to lead—”
“Solomon.” I whisper, emotions threatening to unman me. It’s easy to forget what my parents and the others have sacrificed in the name of community. Safety. Peace. Prosperity. And Ephraim’s oldest is the right person to continue that mission.
“Yeah, Solomon.” Dad agrees. I clear my throat with a grin.
“Kezia was born to be the first lady of a motorcycle club.”
“She’s fierce, for sure, but her heart…”
I place my hand on my dad’s shoulder and squeeze. “Whatever you need from me to make the transition easier—”
“I need you to finish out your contract and come home safely.”
“Yes, sir.” We both relax in comfortable silence, the miles disappearing beneath us. The excitement building inside me, now that I’ve given voice to what I want, constricts my chest. I’m leaving the Army, I’m moving to Morgantown, my cousins and friends are taking over the mother chapter…the possibilities before me are limitless.
“After you’re home safe and sound,” Dad begins a while later, “grandkids would be great. I’m tired of listening to Zebulun brag about the virility of his son-in-law and the fertility of his daughter.”