5. Hailey
CHAPTER 5
hailey
I’m on cloud nine, floating in a dreamlike trance. Every cell in my body is lit up, desperate to hang on to the reality that the events happened at all. Last night went better than I ever could have imagined in my deepest fantasies. My little obsession is now full-blown infatuation.
Graham is everything I’ve ever wanted, and the sex? God. There aren’t adequate words to describe the type of chemistry and magnetism we have. He took me two more times after I told him I wanted to give him free use of my body and shared some of my fantasies openly. Graham was so sweet and open, never once making me feel uncomfortable, which is such a vast difference from boys my age. They just want a simple yes as consent and wing it.
My kink is pretty on-brand for who I am at my core. I enjoy taking care of him. And the idea of Graham coming to me to have his needs met? A shiver spiders over my spine at the thought, my sore center dampening my panties. To be the sole reason that man feels good and relaxes is the best, most powerful feeling in the world and one I don’t take lightly.
Last night has been on replay all day while I focus on applying to programs for my master’s degree. After an hour, the house too silent and my body tingling all over from where Graham’s hands and mouth had been, I shut my laptop and curl up on the couch. Shaking out my hands, I pull out my phone, needing to talk to someone.
Me: Need some advice from you two hussies
Lily: Reformed hussy
Emma: Maybe you are but I’m juggling 3 men, I think I qualify
Me: A title you wear proudly
Emma: Damn right
Lily: So what’s up?
I chew on my lip as my fingers hover over the keyboard. Graham and I agreed that we had to be extremely careful. In fact, this has to be kept a secret because it could ruin us both, and I’m confident we’re on the same page about that. But I trust my girls, and they’ve both been in similar situations recently.
Me: This has to stay between us, even mentioning it to your men is not an option. Promise?
Lily: Promise, spill it.
Emma: Promise.
Me: I spent the night with Graham last night at Whispering Pines...
Lily: HOLY SHIT
Emma: omg. How was it?
Me: Life changing. My imagination over the last decade plus I’ve been crushing on him? NOTHING comes close to comparing to the real thing
Lily: I don’t think he’s too much older than Wes, I’m telling you, there’s something about an older man
Emma: Dom and Cruz are up there too and I’m going to second this. They’re just…confident and experienced in a different way.
Emma: Not that Aidan isn’t…that man…phew.
Lily: We know how you’re feeling babe. Freaking out?
Me: Oddly not at all. It obviously can’t get out because he’s friends with my dad but it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours and I want him again.
Lily: Welcome to the club my girl. Start giving your kitty some extra attention because she’s gonna get sore
Emma: Soooo sore.
Me: Ha ha. She already is!
Me: Is it bad I’m already anticipating it ending when it’s only just begun?
Lily: Listen to me, enjoy the moments. Life is short. Don’t overthink too much and just enjoy the time while you have it.
Emma: In your case, enjoy Graham’s cock while he’s giving it to you
I laugh loud and deep, glad that I came clean to them, needing to just talk about it with someone who gets it.
Me: I’d be lost without you two.
The rest of the day passes in a blur, and before I know it, it’s time for me to pick up Mila from school. As far as ten-year-old girls go, she’s the best. Graham has killed it with her. She’s bright and funny, quick-witted, and so smart. She’s a little intellectual, always asking deep, meaningful questions. She’s the type of kid who is more likely to ask you what your favorite childhood memory is than your favorite color. I’m obsessed with her. After I grabbed her from school, and since it’s a half day, I decided I’d surprise her with a little girl date.
“Where are we going? Home is the other way.”
“Well . . . I thought since we had some time to kill today, we would go into Briar Falls and get pedicures. You up for it?”
The squeal that pierces my ears in the closed space of my small car jumbles my brain and could shatter glass.
“Mila!” I laugh.
“Yes! I’ve never had one before! Tia got one with her mom and big sister and I’ve always wanted to see what it was like. It probably tickles, huh?”
Shit. My heart sinks. I probably should have checked with Graham first to see if it was okay. I’m not about to disappoint her now though, so I’ll have to apologize and ask for forgiveness after.
“It may tickle because it’s your first time, but you get used to the sensation after a minute.”
Mila takes over the music, playing her current favorites—Sabrina Carpenter, Taylor Swift, and Selena Gomez. We jam out as we take the quick trip to the next town over. I pull into a parking spot at Glamorize Nails, a place I’ve been going to since I was a teenager, and we both hop out.
“Hey, we’re a little early for our appointments, want to grab a snack at that espresso stand?” I ask, pointing to the tiny walk-up shack.
Her face wrinkles up in disgust, and while I agree with her, I’m confused. What ten-year-old girl doesn’t want to hit up a coffee stand?
“What gives? You don’t like it? They have smoothies.”
“Isn’t there some rule about you going to other coffee shops? You’re a Haven, Hailey! Plus, Bean Haven is the best, and nowhere else can even compete.”
A laugh bursts from my lungs, my head dropping back just as the Washington skies decide to open up, rain pouring down on us.
“Oh my gosh, Mila!” I yell as I grab her hand, pulling her in the direction of the nail salon. “Run!”
Mila squeals next to me as we bolt to the safety of the awning that extends from the front of the building.
“Oh my gosh, it hasn’t rained this hard in so long!” Mila says, and she’s right. Our part of Washington has more of a constant cloud cover with random days of drizzle, it hardly ever downpours like this. But summer is nearly upon us, and with it comes random thunderstorms and heavy rain. I won’t complain. I thrive in this weather.
“I guess we’ll just head inside then and maybe they’ll be ready for us. You ready for your very first pedicure?”
“Yes! Yes! What color are you going to do?”
“I’m thinking a vibrant red, what about you?”
“I’m going to look at all the options, but I love blue right now. Maybe they have a light blue, do you know? Oh! Can they do like, artwork on it? Like a flower? Tia had a flower, and it was so cute.”
“They can definitely do flowers. C’mon, let’s head inside and get settled so you can make some decisions.”
Mila and I spend the next hour getting pampered. Her giggles were infectious to everyone who was there, bringing joy to everyone’s day. She’s a breath of fresh air, and so much fun to spend time with. She chose light blue polish with white flowers on the big toe that she is so excited to show off. I love that I could give her this experience and be a part of it. There’s still that little voice in my head reminding me to apologize to Graham and hoping that I didn’t cross any boundaries without checking with him first. But he’s so easygoing, I honestly can’t imagine him being upset that I took his daughter for a pedicure.
After we get home, Mila works on her homework at the bar while I pull out ingredients to make breakfast for dinner. Since I was raised on pastries from Bean Haven, breakfast food really isn’t my go-to meal. But on the rare occasion breakfast is on the menu, pancakes are always a good idea.
“You’re plugging away at that math homework, girlfriend. I’m proud of you,” I tell Mila as I whip the batter up with a wooden spoon. I’ve been working with her the last few weeks after seeing how frustrated she was getting. Turns out she is much more of a word person and really dislikes numbers. She has so much perseverance though, and she’s determined to understand it and build on her foundations.
My phone chimes from the counter, so I set the spoon down to check the notification. My heart nearly bursts in my chest when I see Graham’s name flash across the screen.
Graham: Hey, Hails, gonna be late tonight. Don’t worry about dinner for me, I’ll figure something out. Not sure when I’ll be home.
Me: Long day! I’m sorry! Don’t worry about us. We’re having pancakes for dinner and a TV show marathon.
Me: Wish you were here though
Graham: Me too. Tell Mila I love her
Me: Of course.
“Your dad’s gonna be late tonight, so you know what that means?”
“Just us girls?”
“Yep!” I say, popping the p . “Pancakes and Gilmore Girls !”
“Yesssss!”
My heart could burst, seeing this sweet girl so excited to hang out with me, just the two of us. It’s been such a great day, and I hope that when this arrangement ends, Graham will allow me to still be in her life. She’s quickly become my little sidekick, and I always want to be there for her.
I wake up to the front door closing, the lock following it. I blink blearily, my eyes focusing and the sleepy haze dissipating. Mila is still asleep on my shoulder where we were curled up together watching Gilmore Girls . Graham walks into the house and trips a step when he sees us, his eyes taking on a warmth that I haven’t seen directed at me before. My heart rate picks up a bit, racing away as he takes in the two of us sharing a blanket, curled up together on his couch.
After a moment, Graham meets my eyes, his lips turning up in a genuine smile. I’m sure the guilt of coming home late into the evening eats him alive, and I’m grateful that he knows his daughter is being taken care of by someone he trusts and who cares for both of them.
Graham walks into the room, stopping in front of us and crouching down to be eye level with me.
“Hi,” I mouth quietly.
“Hi,” he whispers with a tired smile.
“We fell asleep to Gilmore Girls .”
“She still think Dean is endgame?”
“Of course,” I whisper with a restrained smile. He’s so damn good-looking that I can’t help but admire his features. Now that I know what he tastes like, what his rough facial hair feels like all over my body, it’s hard not to look at him without renewed appreciation and desire.
“I’ll get her to bed, thanks for taking care of her. Looks like you two didn’t even miss me.”
“Of course we did. But we had an amazing time together, I’m not gonna lie.”
He looks down at his baby and smiles in the way only a father can while gazing at his precious daughter. So full of love. Graham gently shakes Mila—who sleeps like the dead—and helps her off of me. She staggers and groans out in protest as he helps navigate her up the stairs and into her bedroom. I stay put, pulling the knit blanket closer to my body and turning on a streaming app to browse for a TV show. After that little nap with Mila combined with the arousal Graham brings on just by looking at me, I’m wide awake.
Settling on my tried and true, Schitt’s Creek, I get comfortable and start episode one, ready to start watching it from the beginning again.
“I’ve never seen this one.”
My head whips in the direction of the deep, masculine voice behind me.
“I’m sorry, what now? You aren’t serious.”
“Deadly. Never seen it. I watch movies with Mila but don’t really have the time for TV shows.”
“Well, Mr. Colson, pop some popcorn and pour a drink, ’cause I’m about to blow your mind. My secret crush? David Rose. When that man smirks, I swear all the ovaries in the world explode.”
He laughs at me lightly before plopping down on the other side of the couch, his woodsy scent wafting in my direction and making my core grow with need.
“Is that all it takes? A perfectly timed smirk?”
“Oh, no. Just wait. Pretty sure you’ll fall for him too. No gender or sexual orientation is immune to the sexy David Rose smirk. And you’ll probably swoon for Alexis. Or maybe Moira,” I jest.
“Alright, honey, play it. Show me what you got.” The term of endearment hits my heart first then settles right between my legs. God, how is he so calm right now? It’s barely been twenty-four hours and I’m dying to touch him again. I know what we shared was off the charts for both of us, and if it’s too weird for him to take me up on my offer, then so be it, even if he seemed fully on board when we parted ways. Just that one experience will have to be enough. Plus, I loved being around him and Mila before the sex, if having a purely sexual relationship isn’t in the cards, I’m not going to bail.
We start the episode and fall into a comfortable silence, Graham even laughs at a few parts. I’m more occupied with watching Graham watch my favorite show than I am with whatever is happening on the screen.
“So that’s the man you’re crazy about?” Graham breaks the silence by asking. My eyes don’t leave his when I answer, “Yeah. It is.” He turns and meets my eyes, his lids drooping heavier as they rake over my face. How just a look can light me up from the inside is beyond me, but what was once a small ember is now spreading to a raging wildfire.
“Tell me something I don’t know about you,” he says out of nowhere, his voice dropping an octave. My heart stops.
“Hmm.” I think. “I don’t like scary movies.”
“Really? Just don’t like the fear it brings?”
“Hannah has been obsessed with them since she snuck a copy of House on Haunted Hill when we were kids, and anytime we watched movies, she would put one on and they terrified me. I still run and jump on my bed after the lights go out because I’m scared of what could be under it.”
Graham laughs. “Do you really?”
“Yes! I swear! I don’t even remember the name of the movie, but he reached his arm out from under the bed and covered her mouth so she couldn’t scream. It stuck with me. There’s some evil being under all beds.”
“It’s crazy what sticks with us. Want me to tuck you in from now on?”
I want to say: hell yes, please. After you screw my brains out so that I can’t even think about the possibility of something waiting under the bed for me. But instead, I shrug nonchalantly.
“I wouldn’t complain if you did.”
He scoots closer to me, hands touching my calves and pulling my legs to extend over his. My heart stampedes in my chest.
“Your turn. Tell me something I don’t know.”
“Your eyes remind me of whiskey. They’re my favorite color.”
I feel the warmth as a blush spreads across my cheeks.
“Yeah?” I ask nervously as he inches closer to me.
“Yeah.” His voice is barely above a whisper.
Graham leans in, his hand reaching out for my face as his eyes flick to my lips. I lick them slowly, anticipating him kissing me. He erases the space between us until we’re practically nose to nose, sharing air, his icy blue eyes flicking back and forth between mine.
“You’re so beautiful.”
My fingers reach out to scratch at his short beard while a smile plays at my lips just as a loud thunderclap echoes through the room, jerking us apart, my hand clasping over my heart.
“Holy shit!” I gasp.
“That was a good one. Summer’s coming soon. I should probably go check on Mila.”
“Yeah, for sure, I should probably head to bed anyway.”
We both stand and awkwardly navigate around each other. I stand there slightly disappointed, he was so close to kissing me, and god did I want it. Before Graham can get any further, I reach out and grab his forearm, my fingers curling around his skin, warmth spreading through my body at the contact. He stops, looking down at the spot where we’re connected as if he feels it too.
“Hey, I just want to make sure you’re cool that I took Mila for a girls’ afternoon to get pedicures. I didn’t realize it was her first one until it was too late. I wasn’t thinking that I could potentially be taking one of her firsts from you or another woman in your family. I’m sorry if I crossed a boundary.”
“Hey.” He looks up and down the hallway before sliding his warm hand against my cheek. “Of course it’s okay. I appreciate you being aware of it, but don’t overthink things. Mila loves you and you gave her a huge gift today. It means a lot to me that you’re not just babysitting her. You really put in the effort, Hails.”
My cheeks burn from the smile on my face, so big and genuine, not realizing how much I needed to hear that it was okay.
“Thank you for saying that. I really love her, Graham. You’ve done such a good job. She’s an incredible kid.”
Now it’s his turn to smile.
“You know what? I needed to hear that, too. It’s easy to get lost in the day-to-day, and I honestly have no idea what the hell I’m doing. I swear parenting is just winging it. I forgot to change out a tooth from under her pillow with money once, and the next morning she asked why, and without even thinking, I told her that the tooth fairy can’t fly in the rain. I don’t know where it came from. I don’t even know what I’m doing, Hails.”
We both laugh and it feels so comfortable, so good, that for a second, I let myself imagine that this is our life together. Talking about parenting, kids, life. And it all feels so real that it’s hard not to want it.