Chapter 24
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Connor stood in the middle of the animal shelter until he heard Tessica’s car rev and drive away.
“Goddamnit!” He slammed his fist down on the countertop.
Several of the animals in the cages along the back wall reacted. A couple barked, one hissed, and most attempted to hide.
“Sorry,” he muttered. He turned off the lights, walked out, and locked the door behind him. He got in his car and stared at his steering wheel for a few moments. That had all gone horribly wrong. He’d been waiting to see Tessica all week, and now… Well, he still desperately wanted to see her, but he wanted to see the version of her that he’d been fantasizing about all week, not the version he’d encountered moments ago.
He wanted to see Little Tessy. He’d been thinking about spoiling her all week long, and had even bought a couple of board games that he wanted to play with her. And when he wasn’t thinking about Little Tessy, he was thinking about submissive Tessica in bed writhing under him as he thrust into her. Hell, he wouldn’t even mind seeing Mommy Tessica at the club reading to the littles at this point. What he didn’t want to see was romantic equal partner Tessica making huge life-altering decisions without his input or opinion.
Scowling, Connor turned on his car. He’d been planning to stay with Tessica for the next two days, but that clearly wasn’t happening. He drove to the hotel he usually stayed at when he was in Beaverton, and got himself a room.
Once he was checked in, he put on a pair of sweats, and went to the hotel’s small gym. He got on one of the two treadmills and ran to get out some of his anger.
He couldn’t understand her thinking. Why hadn’t she told him about this earlier in the week? Even a word or two to let him know she had something big to show him, would have put him in a different fame of mind. Or if she’d just told him about the concept without showing him those forms, forms that had taken hours and hours to create, maybe he could have remained calm. Instead, she’d blindsided him with it.
How could she not understand what a huge undertaking it was? How could she not see how much time it would be taking away from the precious little time they had to spend together? Especially when their relationship was so new. It seemed so… selfish of her. It was as if she hadn’t taken his feelings into consideration at all. He doubted she would have reacted particularly well if he’d shown up and told her he’d started a new job on top of the one he already had.
Connor was still aggravated by the time his muscles ached from running. He slowed down to a walk for a few minutes, and then went to his room to shower off. He checked his phone before getting in the shower, thinking maybe Tessica would have texted an apology, or at least a note to say they should talk, but there was nothing.
Once he was showed and dressed again, he went to the hotel’s very mediocre attached restaurant. He ordered a scotch and soda, downed it within a minute, and then ordered another along with a steak and a salad. Food didn’t sound appealing, but neither did getting shit-faced, so he forced in some bites of food along with his alcohol.
After paying his tab, he went back to his room, and got out his phone. Still nothing from her.
A small voice in the back of his head wondered if maybe he’d been too harsh. Connor grimaced as he realized the voice was right.
He didn’t do well with surprises. As a Dominant he needed to be in control no matter what the situation was, and not being able to control Tessica had pushed him to say things he definitely shouldn’t have said. Maybe he wasn’t meant to be in a relationship with an equal partner. But the thought of not being with her made his stomach churn.
He didn’t want to admit it, but deep down, Connor knew he was already in love with Tessica. He wouldn’t have spent the past week searching for homes in the Beaverton area if she was just a fling. And he wouldn’t have gotten so bent out of shape about her matchmaking idea if he didn’t want to spend every spare second with her. But was love enough to keep them happy if they both had strong dominant sides that sometimes clashed?
Maybe he needed a second opinion.
Nodding to himself, Connor texted Brian. He knew his friend was most likely at a club and wouldn’t get his text for hours, but it was better to send it now before he talked himself out of it.
I could really use your opinion on something. Call me when you get this, even if it’s late.
For the next few hours, Connor watched mindless television without actually paying attention to it. The longer he sat there, the worse he felt about the way he’d behaved.
He never would have given that kind of ultimatum to any of his former girlfriends, or to his ex-wife. His first two long-term relationships weren’t kinky in nature, so he never thought of himself as being in charge of their joint decision making. And in his third long-term relationship their power dynamic had been so skewed to him being in charge, that an ultimatum would have never been necessary. But Tessica was both his equal and his submissive, and he clearly hadn’t figured out how to cope with that yet.
While he pondered his relationship failures, his phone rang.
Seeing Brian’s name on the screen gave him a bit of hope. He answered with, “Hey, thanks for calling.”
“Sure thing. We missed you and Tessica at Connections tonight. What’s going on?”
“We had an argument.”
“You did?” Brian sounded more than a little surprised.
Connor sighed. “We did, and I think… No, I know it’s my fault.”
“What happened?”
“I got into town later than I expected, which probably put me in a bad mood before I even saw her. I got to the animal shelter right before closing. Then she told me all about this new idea she’d come up with. She wants to start a matchmaking service for Littles and Caregivers.”
“Really? That’s a cool idea.”
Connor winced. “Well, ‘cool idea’ certainly wasn’t my reaction.”
“Okay, why not?”
“Because it wasn’t just an idea, it was something she’d already put into action. She created all these forms for it. Compatibility tests, rules for dating, an after-date summary, and even a commitment certificate. Well, she called it a Forever Daddy certificate, but I know she’s planning on matching Mommies too. She’d clearly worked for hours on this project, and she hadn’t said anything to me about it. Not one word all week long.”
“I see,” Brian said with sympathy. “You felt like she’d done it all behind your back.”
“Exactly.”
“Okay, so what did you do?”
“I told her I thought she purposely hidden it from me all week because she knew I wouldn’t approve.”
“Wait. Why wouldn’t you approve?” Brian asked.
“Because she’s already working two jobs! She barely has time to sleep, and now she wants to add another job in the mix? Not to mention we just started dating. I don’t exactly want to spend our free time helping match other people up.”
The line was silent for a few seconds, before Brian said, “I agree that she should have called you and talked to you about it before today, but this doesn’t sound like a third job. It sounds more like a fun afterhours project that could be done through the club. I mean I hated the idea of having a doctor station during Little night when Paul first brought it up, but now I think it’s going to be a lot of fun.”
Connor’s stomach twisted. He wanted to disagree, but couldn’t. “I was too upset to see it that way, but… yeah, now that all the forms are done, I can picture it being something that doesn’t actually take up that much of her time if it was done through the club. Shit.”
“Shit?”
“I really fucked up. I basically told her she couldn’t do it. She didn’t agree, so I threatened to sell the house if she didn’t quit.”
The line was silent again, and Connor’s face burned with shame.
“You threatened to sell the house she runs the shelter out of?”
“Yeah. I did.”
“Wow. I’ve known you for almost seven years now, and this is the first time I’ve ever heard of you losing control of your emotions like that.”
Connor scowled. “Way to rub it in. I already feel like shit about it.”
“My point isn’t to rub your face in it. My point is, that I think you’re in love.”
“What?” Connor shook his head even though Brian couldn’t see him. “I don’t see how you came to that conclusion.”
“Love makes people crazy right? I think you’re in love with her, but you don’t want to admit it to yourself, because a part of you doesn’t want to give up on your bachelor lifestyle. Or maybe you’re scared to be in a relationship with a switch instead of a submissive.”
“I… Well, I don’t know.”
Brian chuckled. “It’s nice to be the one giving advice for a chance.”
“I’m not sure telling me I’m in love is the same as giving advice,” Connor groused.
“It’s not. Here’s my advice. Go tell Tessica you were wrong, tell her it won’t happen again, and tell her that you’re sorry. Maybe even take her some flowers.”
Connor closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and nodded. “Yeah. That’s the right move. I know you’re right, I just…”
“Don’t like to admit you were wrong?” Brian guessed.
“Yeah,” Connor agreed. But in the back of his head what he was really thinking was that he didn’t want to face Tessica and admit his mistakes, because he hadn’t forgotten her comments about equality meaning that she would have the right to punish him when he screwed up.
“No one does, man. Just do it, and get it over with.”
“Thanks, Brian. I appreciate it.”
“Glad I could help. And Connor?”
“Yeah?”
“Tessica may not be Little often, but if there’s a forever Daddy certificate in the paperwork she made, you have to know she’s thinking about that for herself, right?”
Connor stomach twisted. “Shit, you’re right. Of course she would. How could I have not seen that?”
“I’m sure you would have figured it out eventually. I’m just helping you see past your insecurities.”
“Thanks. I think.”
Brian chuckled. “Talk to you later.”
“Bye.” Connor hung up and checked the time. It was 1:15 in the morning. He doubted waking Tessica up in the middle of the night so he could apologize was the right move.
He sighed, turned off the television and got ready for bed. He set his alarm for six a.m., hoping to catch Tessica at home before she left for the day. Then he got in bed and closed his eyes, but sleep eluded him for hours.