Chapter 18
18
“Is that so?” he drawled.
“No! No, it’s not so. I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that.”
“Yes, I definitely need you close so I can keep an eye on you. You need someone to care for you. I can see how much you want it.”
God, she wanted that. She should be telling him no.
Would he fire her?
Maybe.
But that wasn’t her reason for not saying anything.
No, it’s because you want this.
Because he’s right.
Do not tell him that. Do not.
She knew this wouldn’t last. A man like Reuben Jones didn’t tie himself to someone like her forever.
But perhaps she could figure out what she’d always been missing with Matt.
“Attention on me,” he warned. “I don’t know where your mind keeps wandering off to, but if you keep doing it, I’m going to keep pulling you back.”
She licked her lips.
“Do you want this, baby? Now is the time to tell me no if you don’t.”
Was he really giving her an out?
Which meant she truly had to think this through. Did she want it?
Yes.
Was she brave enough to tell him that?
Probably not.
“You won’t fire me either way?”
“I will not. I know I’m the one in the position of power, and I won’t lie, I like to use that to my advantage. But your job is safe either way. And I promise this won’t be all rules and discipline. You’ll like being mine, baby girl. I take good care of what belongs to me.”
That was partly what she was afraid of. When he decided he was sick of her . . . would she survive?
But, on the other hand, would she regret it for the rest of her life if she didn’t say yes?
“Yes. I want to be yours,” she said, for one not overthinking her options.
Oh, that smile of his was wicked. And it had her pressing her thighs together.
“Good girl,” he murmured. “I’m so proud of you.”
Oh no.
She could feel the tears welling. When was the last time someone had told her that?
“Now, back to your punishment for disobeying me and coming in early today.”
“You can’t give it to me here!” she cried. Faith was having trouble keeping up with his changes in mood and conversation.
He raised his eyebrows. “Why not?”
“B-because we’re at work. We should really keep work and our personal life separate.”
Holy heck.
Was she really going to have a personal life with him? What did any of this even mean?
He didn’t want to date her. This wasn’t going to follow a conventional path.
Nope.
This was about as unconventional as it got.
“I tell you what, I’m going to give you two choices for this punishment since it’s your first and you’re clearly worried.”
Wow. That was so generous of him.
And really surprising. What sort of choices? And why did she have the feeling that she wouldn’t like either?
“You can take your spanking now, like a good girl. You’ll go over my knee and receive ten. That’s not a lot, I know. But I don’t know your pain tolerance.”
“Low, very low.”
Liar.
“The punishment for lying to me is distinctly harsher. You might wish to keep that in mind.”
Gulp.
“You know what? We should talk about a safeword and limits and boundaries,” she said desperately.
“I don’t like the idea of limits and boundaries. I make my own rules and now I make them for you too.”
He sounded far too pleased about that for her peace of mind.
“But you can have a safeword in case I push too far.”
Jeez. That was big of him.
“I don’t want to scare you,” he added. “What safeword would you like?”
“Cranberries.”
“Cranberries?” he asked.
“I hate those let red balls.”
“Cranberries, it is. Are there any things that you simply cannot stand to have done to you?”
“Um. Well.” She’d had limits with Matt, but he had never come close to pushing any boundaries. “No scars or blood. No name calling or giving me to other people to use.”
“I would never do that,” he growled. Just as she was starting to wonder if she was well over her head, his face softened. “I’m not going to harm you, baby.”
There was something about him that was so compelling . . . that it kept drawing her closer and closer.
Wanting more of him.
“I’m going to take good care of you. I promise. You trust me to look after you, don’t you?”
“It’s just . . . you can be a lot.” Like, right now. When she didn’t know what way was up and what was down.
“Am I more than you can handle?”
She didn’t know if she imagined a soft note in his voice. Vulnerability?
She doubted it.
“I . . . I hope not.” She closed her eyes. In for a penny, in for a pound.
It wasn’t like she’d gone into any of this with her eyes closed. Faith knew he was a pushy bastard who got what he wanted.
This time, what he wanted also happened to align with what she’d always desired but had been too afraid to ever ask for.
Which was probably what scared her the most.
“My brave girl. You’re being so good.”
She let out a small laugh that was also close to a sob.
“So, back to your choices. You can get a spanking now. It will be shorter, and you will get it out of the way. Or you can put your punishment off. There’s a catch, though, since you won’t know when I’m going to spank you. Or how. That will be my choice. And a surprise for you.”
Was there an option C? Because neither of those options appealed.
She couldn’t imagine going over his lap right now.
But that meant he could spring a punishment on her at any time.
Well, maybe you’ll get fired again before he gives you that punishment.
Now there was a cheery thought.
Why do now what she could put off until later?
Yes, she knew that wasn’t the saying . . . but everything felt a bit raw.
She felt vulnerable. Worn down.
Everything was getting on top of her, and she was worried that as soon as he touched her, she’d burst into tears.
Reuben watched her with too-knowing eyes. His face seemed to soften, although that might have been her imagination.
“Later, then.”
She nodded.
“Just be aware, Little Blossom. This might feel like a reprieve, but it’s not. I’m an exacting bastard. You know I like things done a particular way, and none of that changes just because of our relationship. If anything, I will be more demanding.”
Relationship.
That word seemed to echo in her brain.
Was that really what was happening? If it was . . . she knew it would be like no relationship she’d ever experienced in her life.
Not that she had a lot of experience. Matt was her longest partner.
And you ruined that.
“What does that even mean to you?” she asked. “Like . . . is it . . . do you want to date? To see me outside of work? To . . . to do things?”
Amusement filled his face. “To do things? Why? What sort of things are you talking about, Ms. Blossom? I’m not sure I understand.”
Oh, he understood, the bastard.
“You know what I mean.”
“I’m going to need you to spell it out. So there are no misunderstandings.”
“Kissing. Intimacy. Things like that.”
“Intimacy? I think the word you’re looking for is fucking.”
Gulp.
Was the room spinning slightly? She felt very warm. “I can’t breathe.”
“The thought of fucking me has stolen your breath?” he queried. “Interesting.”
It wasn’t interesting. It was kind of terrifying.
And it was also bad how much she wanted that. How much she craved him.
“We’ll fuck eventually, baby. I know you want me. Just like I want you. But it’s more than just that. I’m going to be your lover, your boss, your protector, your Daddy, your Dom. Your everything. So, you might want to prepare yourself for that.”
How did she prepare herself for that?