Chapter 13
Ithought they had brought me to the restaurant on the Upper West Side before, since it seemed mildly familiar as I drank coffee and ate my eggs. I didn’t have to say much, exhaustion coloring my mood, otherwise I just listened to them argue about a remake of a movie that just came out.
Barrett texted on his phone, but I couldn't even drum up the interest to ask him who it was. Noticing my own disassociation, I tried to force myself to pay attention to the moment. After all, every moment with them together seemed precious to me still.
Barrett finally set down his phone, glancing at his brothers in turn. “Two things—we have somewhere to go after this. It’s a surprise, so no, don’t bother asking me where. Secondly, Stephen is back in town.”
Julian set down his soda with a plunk and rattle of ice. “How is Mom?”
“He said when he left that she looked much better. Eric will be back with her soon.” He shook his head. “This is news to me. I can’t remember them ever being apart for more than a day or two, or a night here and there.”
I opened my mouth to tell them what I knew about Dina, but then snapped my lips closed quickly. It wasn’t my place to share her secrets, but what would it be like at the lake if we went today? Did the world of Dina’s youth continue today?
“I’m sure they would rather be together now,” I said, offering them a comforting smile. “But we’re living real life, right? They have to go back to their jobs.”
Phoenix nodded. “Yeah, well that just makes me wonder what is happening to Eric’s practice. He pretty much ignored it for a few extra weeks this summer.”
Jeremy set down his fork. “He’s good. People wait for him. He’ll be fine, if he needs a little bit of time. He is devoted to his work normally. Mom first, then his practice.”
A gust of damp September wind hit me, lifting my hair and sliding a chill down my spine. It should be hot in the city, yet autumn seemed to encroach on the warmth with unusual speed.
“Phoenix,” I said as a thought dawned on me. “Did I leave your jacket in the car last night? The one you gave me outside the club. I think I left it in the car.”
He shrugged. “I have it in other colors. I can just order it again.”
“I’m still sorry.”
He leaned over and kissed me. “Don’t worry about it. Please, don’t.”
I widened my eyes, because I didn’t live in a world where we didn’t worry about losing designer jackets, so I wasn’t sure if it really would be okay. Not to mention he just kissed me in public…
Jeremy grinned at my reaction before fist bumping his brother, clearly impressed. “There’s nobody here I recognize. I think he got away with that.”
“Maybe I check first, because I’m not a fuck up.” Phoenix winked at Jeremy, his sass telling me he took something in the car.
I leaned back, sighing. “I don’t suppose anyone heard anything new about my birth certificate?”
“No,” Barrett said and winced. “I doubt Stephen would know anyway. If he can’t invest in it, he tends not to know much.”
Julian grinned. “Sometimes he knows random things, and he’ll name an old movie no one has ever heard of or rattle off every baseball stat ever recorded. The guy also knows anything and everything Greek.”
Jeremy pointed at him, adding. “Every restaurant in the city, not to mention possible restaurants in cities he hasn’t visited yet.”
I grinned, because they didn’t usually share a lot about their family. “What about Daniel? What is he like?”
“He’s funny.” Barrett said then nodded. “But in a gallows humor kind of a way? He’s quick to say nice things and slower to criticize, but when he does—wow, it hurts.”
Phoenix winced. “He’s not wrong.”
“He runs in, like, 5Ks and half-marathons. Marathons. Drinks protein drinks at five in the morning.” His grin grew, sentimentality easing some of his worries. “What’s even funnier is how he reacts when he can’t get the joke. He genuinely cannot stand it, and it happens a lot.”
Phoenix was finally smiling, too. “He hates it. It’s hilarious.”
“And Eric?” I looked between them.
“He’s the quiet and sensitive one, who cares how people feel. He wants us all to have happiness and good luck, and the man genuinely thinks our mother walks on water. Oh, he also blames himself for everything.”
It mirrored Phoenix in their generation, not that I would be the one to point it out. He wasn’t quiet, but the rest of it fit well enough.
“He makes a great hamburger but a terrible spaghetti sauce. Remember when Chef took a one-week vacation last summer? They took turns trying to cook.” Phoenix twirled his spoon on his fingers like a baton, and the waiter brought the check, shooting him a side eye as Julian paid for it with his credit card.
I swallowed, curious if they would give me more. “And Kit?”
“He pushes and battles everyone. He does manage to get us what we need or want, but he worries. He is the face of our lives, and it never seemed to bother him we’re not genetically his.” Jeremy took my hand. “But sometimes he’s mean. Judgy. Overly cautious. Unimpressed.”
I wanted to ask them about Rosalind, but Barrett caught my hand, tugging me to my feet. He prepared a surprise, but we needed to move—fast. Minutes later, after jumping on a subway, we arrived at Lincoln Center. He spun by the fountain, tossing me a grin. “Wait here one second.”
What are we doing? “I’ve never been here before.”
“Wait one second.” A door opened and two people came outside, and although I didn’t know her escort, I immediately recognized Celeste Demille.
“Oh my god.” I said aloud before I realized I spoke aloud.
Barrett held out his hand. “Come with me for a second, Sweetheart. You guys mind giving us a minute?”
Jules shook his head. “You are incredible. Go ahead, this is really perfect.”
I followed him, my fingers trembling as we approached her in real life. She smiled at us as we approached, and my heart flipped in my chest.
“Celeste, this is Barrett. I mentioned him to you because he helped save the club. When he was just sixteen, if you will believe that part. And this is his…” His voice trailed off as he waited for Barrett to handle the introduction.
Barrett grinned. “My girlfriend, Alatheia. Pleasure to meet you. We saw you sing last night. You were incredible and I thought I would surprise her by making introductions. As you can see, it worked. She’s shocked.”
Celeste shook his hand warmly then managed to shake mine, despite my fangirl wide eyed silence. She and Barrett made small talk for a second, while I couldn’t do more than stare at her.
She faced me, saying, “You’re very pretty, but I see circles under your eyes. You’re puffy, like you’ve been crying, too. Did this boy make you cry?”
The crispness of her consonants when she spoke coupled with her southern accent was very effective in getting my attention. “No, ma’am. I mean, I was crying but not because of him.”
She jerked her chin toward the other guys. “Them?”
“No, other people entirely.” I couldn’t believe she even cared.
Celeste nodded and put her hands on her hips.
“Well, otherwise I would’ve had words with them, because you look fragile as a bird today.
I saw you last night. You were lit up in there, and I loved how you seemed to sail away on the music.
Whatever happened?” She leaned forward, as if sharing a secret.
“Fuck them. And you,” she pointed at Barrett. “I’m glad it wasn’t you.”
“I hope I go my whole life without making her cry.”
Celeste laughed, the sound as musical as her singing. She touched his arm gently, smiling when she said, “That’s unlikely. You’ll make her cry. She’ll make you angry. That’s the good stuff, but not like this. Whatever made her sad…it makes me feel like it deserves a jazz song.”
I thought about my complicated life and almost laughed. I probably could write a song about it.
I missed Dina, so we stopped to see her, but we caught her on her way out. She always seemed busy, her fingers dipped into more things than most ever guessed.
“How are my journals?” she asked me as she fastened a pin on her blouse.
Julian shook his head. “Your what?”
“You still haven’t told them? You really are good at secrets.” She laughed, telling him, “I have her typing up the journals I kept for years. Don’t worry, I’ll be gifting them to all of you on my birthday.” She spun, asking me. “How’s this?”
In that second, I could see her as she must have looked on her wedding day. Joyful and dressed up, so young and fresh and full of hope. “Perfect. You’re perfect.”
“Doubtful but thank you.” She grabbed her purse. “Don’t tell them what they say. See? We’re still keeping secrets. Are you all staying or leaving?”
Phoenix laughed. “We’re leaving, same as you. Who are you off to save today?”
“Mermaids,” she said then swatted him with her purse.
“Don’t sass me. I invented it. Goodnight, children.
I love you.” Instead of leaving, though, she tapped her purse on her hand.
“No, wait. I do love you. In fact, I love you all so much, I’ll skip the charity event in the East River tonight.
” She threw down her bag. “Do you remember when you were children, and you came over for your spoil-a-thons? We all would sit here and play board games and eat spaghetti until we thought we might pop?”
Phoenix shook his head. “I don’t remember them. I’m sorry. A lot of my childhood memories vanished, because they’re tangled up with other things.”
Her face fell, but she stroked her hand through his hair. “I’m so sorry to hear that.”
“I remember, Granny,” Barrett said as he took her other hand. “Back when it used to feel like it was us versus the world. Our parents would go out, but we would stay here with you. We all camped on the floor in sleeping bags, even you.”
She smiled. “Okay, we’ll do a spoil-a-thon tonight. No sleeping bags, and you can all go home to sleep because you don’t have a bedtime anymore. This should be fun.”
I blinked, backing up a step. “I can go home and let you all…”