Chapter 17 #2
Jer rocked back on his feet, hands tucked in his pockets as he smiled at her. “Well, she’s a really interesting person. You’ve obviously taken a strong interest in her, too.”
I hoped he wouldn’t trigger her temper. They might be part of her world, as she said, but I wasn’t.
The only one who could get hurt in the situation was me, which felt like a really important factor for him to remember.
I decided it might be safer to ignore her comment about Davis liking me, since I didn’t know how to define my relationship with the Lents either, beyond that I loved them.
Instead, we could focus on safer topics.
So I said, “I am their granny’s companion, but you knew that. It’s a little old fashioned, but have you ever read that book. . .”
She interrupted me and said, “I guarantee I haven’t. I don’t read if it isn’t required by school. Art is my thing. Why bother with reading?”
Does she really want me to answer? “There are all kinds of art. Everything speaks to us in different ways. Think about art, or reading… I like music and plays, too.”
“Boring.” She sighed and her gaze swiveled to Jeremy. “You what? Met her at your granny’s?”
He shook his head. “Why are you so interested, anyway?”
“I like stories.” She smiled at me. “Maybe I should read.”
I preferred her focus on me rather than Jeremy. I couldn’t believe we just chatted in a random hallway of the Met. “I met Julian at his granny’s, and later on, I met Jeremy through Julian. Eventually, I met Barrett and Phoenix the same way.”
She tapped her foot then started walking.
I didn’t know where she was headed, but I followed her.
“Not very interesting, actually. But I do find it sort of curious how you brought Jeremy today. Barrett is usually right and proper all the time, while Julian is nice to everyone. God knows if Phoenix even knows what’s going on most of the time, but you brought Jeremy.
The one who already made his way through all of my friends. ”
He jolted next to me, instantly going stiff at the mention of his former hookups. It didn’t bother me, but it clearly bothered him. “I have done no such thing.”
“You know you have,” she practically purred, her tone saccharine sweet, but it came across just gross. “I mean, Maggie didn’t lose her shit like that over nothing, and I think we both know better.”
He sighed. “Maggie is always losing her shit. It’s why she got suspended sophomore year. She set the bathrooms on fire.”
She did what? I opened and closed my mouth. Why would he hook up with someone like her in the first place? I didn’t ask aloud though, making a mental note to ask when we were alone.
“And Greer…”
He interrupted. “Hooks up with everyone, which you know. She thought she hooked up with Julian. She didn’t even know it was me.”
“That is true.” She nodded, tapping her chin with one elegant finger. “I guess my point here, Alatheia, is that you want to be careful with this one. He has no regard for the hearts he leaves shattered in his wake.”
She couldn’t have been more wrong about Jeremy, but I didn’t argue.
He felt things so deeply, so acutely. He kept so much of his life hidden from the world, so she would never be able to truly understand how hard life could be for him.
The guys each found a way to cope. Barrett walked a line so nobody questioned him about his family.
Julian people-pleased, kissing asses with a charm that could make their head spin.
He charmed them so well, in fact, that they stopped wondering about the scandal with Phoenix.
Their youngest brother took substances to avoid the realm and the rest of us most of the time, preferring a world without his trauma, dulled by narcotics.
Meanwhile, Jeremy ran around trying to protect everyone else.
I got lucky and saw him in the moments when he could lose himself for a while.
Although lately, they seemed to be switching it up. Julian was getting angry and into fights while Phoenix tried to get off the drugs. And Jeremy remained romantic and there for me whenever I needed him.
But to Murial, I simply said, “I don’t want to talk about their family.
Not ever, I mean it. They’re very good people and my friends.
” She didn’t need to know how precisely close I got to the brothers.
I tapped my lip with my own finger, mimicking her motion from earlier.
“But I do have an idea. How about if we go see the two Michiel Sweerts paintings? I’ve been reading about him, so I know they have two of his works here.
I looked him up online after you pointed him out next to the Rembrandt.
I mean, how cool is it that you have one of his one hundred paintings, when some sources say it could be as low as forty or fifty? ”
She brightened immediately. “Oh, Alatheia, you did! You listened and researched. Yes, there are so few of them. My uncle found one when I wanted it then Daddy bought it for me.” It just blew my mind, but I didn’t say it aloud.
If I had that kind of money, I would do something charitable with it.
I wouldn’t line my walls with paintings, not even treasured ones, but I wasn’t there to judge.
Okay, maybe I am a little bit. She certainly judges everyone else around her.
“Yes, maybe only half of his work is in private collections. It’s hard to verify, because people don’t like to talk too much about what they have in their own homes. ”
Well…she does.
I smiled anyway, and let her lead us toward the Sweerts paintings. I distracted her for the moment, but I still didn’t understand her objectives, nor did I know what she wanted from me. I was really unimportant to her level of life, less important than an insect. So why bother with me at all?
Finally, she turned back to face Jer. He lifted his eyebrows, stiffening like he was ready to take a blow. She explained, “You’re not my type. Your friend Alatheia is over there. As beautiful as she is, she’s actually not who I want to be with. But I’m not done with you all, either.”
He cleared his throat. “You really must be bored.”
“Aren’t we all? It’s the nature of things. Everyone wants things, but there’s so little we can’t have, right? Perhaps we want Alatheia for a while. I don’t know if you’re taking pity on her because of your granny—”
He interrupted. “You’re nowhere close.”
“I know I need new friends, because Greer is stupid and Maggie is crazy. They might have become that way because of you, so you could take responsibility. Alatheia won’t tell me what she wants, so I’m likely to be frustrated until I figure it out.”
Davis grinned as he joined us. “Me. She wants me. She just doesn’t know it yet.”
I tried to keep my expression blank, but I frowned in response. Not in the slightest. Ew, actually. It was one of the few things I knew for sure.
Murial and Davis left in a waiting black car before Jer pulled me into a tight hug.
“I love you, ” he whispered in my ear before he shuddered against me.
I held on tightly, as if I could ground him in the present with me. “I don’t care what she said about you. She doesn’t know you.”
“I care what you hear, though. I shouldn’t have done some of that shit, but I never pretended to have long-term feelings for anyone before you. I didn’t, regardless of what they might say. Could you even imagine explaining my family to Maggie?”
I giggled at the thought then put my head on his shoulder. He smelled so warm and safe. “Jer, why Maggie? I mean, she’s nuts. Clearly. It seems like you knew that, so why her?”
“I don’t know, actually.” He kissed the top of my head.
“I did a lot of stupid shit. Maybe I wanted to avoid things I can’t control and didn’t know how to handle?
I’m sorry that isn’t much of an answer.” A car horn sounded near us, and I jumped, which made him laugh gently in my ear.
“I’ve got you, Princess. There’s no one else for me.
Nothing meaningless, just you. Forever.”
“I don’t care who you were with before, I really don’t.
I understand people will throw them in my face at Pullman , partially because they want to see if they get a response, since they don’t know what we’re doing.
Maybe she tried to warn me off?” I still didn’t understand her, and I shook my head, not sure if I should ever understand her.
“Anyway, hopefully she’ll move on to something new.
Everything you said was incredibly sweet.
I’m trying. Okay? I think you know how I feel about you, but it's hard to let myself relax. We can blame trauma, if you like. If I don’t get sent away, I’ll calm down a lot. Be patient with me.”
He kissed my temple, and I practically sagged against him. I loved melting into him, until he basically held us both upright.
“Always. Always. What do you want? I mean, you won’t tell her, but will you tell me?”
I lifted my head to kiss him on the lips, which made him smile. “For now? I want that. Thank you for coming with me.”
“Something’s wrong with Phoenix, and I don’t know…
I just know.” Julian chewed on his lip then ran a hand through his hair, pacing back and forth as if he couldn’t stay still.
I blew out a breath, realizing his stress meant my movie plan wouldn’t happen.
We kept saying we would take an afternoon off, maybe go see a movie, but it didn’t seem to be in the cards for us.
Jer crossed his arms over his chest, considering his brother carefully. “What do you mean?”
Barrett entered from the kitchen, his expression also creased with worry. “I think he took something else. Not the regular K-hole, I think he took something else. Seems really off.”
I widened my eyes, glancing between the brothers quickly. “Should we call an ambulance? Call Eric? What do we do?”
Julian shook his head. “I don’t know. They threatened him, so if he gets in trouble again, he’s gone. I’m not calling our parents unless we lose his pulse.”
I decided I wouldn’t know more until I saw Phoenix, who was in his room. I found him pacing from one end of it to the other in large, measured strides, his head down as he seemed to talk to himself. “Phoenix? You okay?”
He couldn’t seem to hear me past the voices in his mind, still muttering to himself.
“See?” Julian and Jeremy said from behind me.
I ignored them, focused on their brother. I grabbed his arm. “Phoenix? Are you okay?”
His eyes focused on my face, but he didn’t seem to see me. “I have to find Alatheia before they take her to the dark place.”
He wants to find me? “I’m right here. I’m talking to you. We’re together right now.”
Jer whistled through his teeth. “He’s on a dark trip somewhere. Did he go anywhere while we were out?”
“To Joe’s. I can text him, see if he knows what he took. Good call. Don’t bother trying, since he won’t answer you and will probably hide for days because he’s terrified of you.”
Jules left the room, phone in hand. I wasn’t nearly as worried about the drugs as the fact Phoenix genuinely seemed afraid.
My heart turned over, and I gripped his hands, tempted to weep for him.
I’d seen him freaked out about rainstorms, and sometimes in his sleep he said he needed to find his way home.
This is different. He might have been afraid then, but he knew where he was in the storm.
His dreams evaporated if I stroked his head or kissed him gently.
In this case, I didn’t know how to find him, but I knew he was lost in a dark place.
I wrapped my arms around him to stop his frenetic motion. He struggled a bit against me, saying, “They’re going to take her to the dark place. I can’t let them take her, you don’t understand. I’ll find her, if they take her. Somehow.”
“Yeah,” Julian said, and I realized he talked to someone on the phone in the other room. Hopefully Joe, and he had answers. “What?”
I rocked back and forth with Phoenix, still holding his wiry frame against me. “Come on. Let’s go sit in the living room. On the couch. We’re home. I am with you, and neither of us are in a dark place.”
With Jer’s help, I led him into the living room. Phoenix dropped to the couch then took his head in his hands, rocking back and forth.
Julian whirled around, holding the phone away from his mouth. “It’s just THZ, but he said, and I quote, everyone is going dark with it, man. Including his boy Avery, apparently.”
Barrett grabbed the phone, aggression so clear in his motions that Julian actually backed up a step.
“This is Barrett. Listen, dipshit, don’t you ever fucking give my brother anything that takes him dark again.
I don’t blame you for his choices, but I can judge you for what you chose to sell to him.
I get that if you’re not his dealer, it would be someone else, and we both know you like the money.
But let me make myself very clear. If you ever give him anything, and I mean anything, that takes him dark again, it won’t be Jeremy you should be scared of anymore. ”
When he hung up, he was panting, his eyes wild when they turned to me and his pupils huge. With a slow, slightly shaking hand, he handed the phone back to Julian. I held Phoenix and stared at Barrett. Prim and proper? Wasn’t that how Murial described Barrett? Yeah…she doesn’t know them at all.