Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
“For the last time, I’ll be fine. I meant it the last six times I’ve said it, and I mean it this time too.” Elio was obviously fed up with my questions, but I had to make sure.
Sliding my earbuds into my ears, I grabbed my keys and stopped just before the couch. “I know, I know. Just promise you’ll call or text if you need anything? And if you could, start setting up in my bedroom. I’ll help you finish when I get home.”
“I’m not stealing your bedroom from you, Cres.”
“I want you to. Don’t forget your meds—there’s some food in the fridge you can heat up. Make yourself at home, okay?”
Elio sighed, but nodded. “Okay. I’ll see you later. Go have fun at work. I’m going to go back to sleep, probably.”
I didn’t want to leave. Honestly, I was terrified to. A hundred thousand scenarios crossed my mind, not a single one ending well.
What if Jude somehow found my address and showed up there? What if he tried to contact Elio, and Elio caved? What if something happened to Elio while I was gone, like one of his wounds was actually infected, and I just hadn’t noticed?
I’d used one of my old phones I had lying around in my junk drawer to get him a new number.
The only two contacts he had were Sarah and me, and I’d made sure he had TikTok downloaded to entertain himself.
He still had his phone, though I’d made sure it was turned off and put away in case Jude did try to message him. Per Elio’s request, of course.
The drive to Love ’n Sugar was short, yet torturous.
My earbuds were firmly in my ears, connected and ready to drown out any unwanted noises or whispers.
They’d been coming more frequently now. I hadn’t slept much the last few days since I brought Elio home, but they were making it even harder.
I wanted to be able to hear him if he needed something, yet if I did, I’d be able to hear them too.
Shaking my head, I blew out a long breath, steeling myself. I hadn’t even stepped foot out of my car, and I was already wanting to go home.
It looked like James was already here, probably having opened the store for us. After another minute or so, I grabbed my bag, my lunch, and my resolve.
As the front door swung open, I was hit with the scent of freshly baked bread. We didn’t open for a while yet, so we had time to prepare everything we sold.
The bakery felt like a home away from home, every inch of it coating my flesh with something undeniably good.
I loved how it looked, how it smelled, how it sounded when all of us were hard at work whisking and cutting and fumbling with bags of icing.
The sound of oven timers blaring their alerts often followed me into my sleep, wrapping themselves around my body like a comforting hug.
Apron firmly tied around my waist, I pushed the kitchen doors open, letting them swing to a stop behind me. It was hot back here—hot enough for sweat to immediately start to build at my brow line. Little prickles began sweltering underneath my skin, bubbling up to the surface.
Once my lunch was put away in the employee fridge and my hair was neatly tucked into a hairnet, I pressed play on my phone, washed my hands, and pulled on a pair of gloves.
The low music playing in my ears wasn’t loud enough to cover up the sound of the sheet pan banging against the counter top.
I loved it, though. It meant I was home—at least as close to it as possible.
Soon, I was lost in the motions, pulling dough, making batter, and grabbing a multitude of cupcakes and cookies from the cooling rack for icing. It was easy enough, and it kept my mind off Elio at home, who was hopefully in my bed resting.
A loud gasp from the corner caught my attention, forcing my head up. “Jesus Christ! When the fuck did you get here?” James stood in front of me, a hand over his heart.
He’d always been so chill that I wondered if I’d ever seen him scared. “Uh, sorry, bro. Maybe twenty minutes?”
“You scared the shit out of me.” He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a second to steady himself. “I forgot you were coming in this morning. I was just unloading some stuff. What’ve you done so far?”
I set the icing bag down, taking a moment to stretch my fingers. “Not a lot. I’m just working on these if you want to focus on any of the dough. Or we can switch.”
All I got was a nod and a shrug. Back to a man of few words, I guessed.
By the time my lunch came around, James and I were elbows deep in a hundred pounds of flour. We were always absolutely covered in various baking ingredients. Probably enough to make a whole batch of variety bread, honestly.
My ears were starting to hurt from the earbuds pushed into them, but I refused to take them out.
I’d get used to them eventually, just like I always did.
Lunch today consisted of another sandwich—shocker.
My brain was too full and messy to think of anything else or to worry about adequate grocery shopping, aside from the essentials and shit to feed Elio and me.
There were a lot more people at the park than usual, going on about their lives as if nothing was wrong. And maybe there wasn’t. Maybe I was projecting.
I pulled out my phone, ignoring the multitude of text messages from Moon and Star. I’d respond to them eventually—just not today. Elio hadn’t texted me yet, and I was getting antsy, so I sent my own.
Me
Hey, how’s everything going? Got the room all set up yet?
I waited for a minute, just staring at the screen in hopes he’d reply. When three passed in silence, I sighed and forced myself to open my lunchbox.
When five passed, I slowly nibbled on the bread in anticipation.
When ten passed, I started to worry.
When fifteen passed, my teeth found my lower lip, chewing and gnawing on the skin there.
When twenty passed, something happened. Beneath the guitar and drums in the song playing, a voice that wasn’t the singer’s started to whisper. Ever so softly. Ever so gently.
A woman’s voice with a slight growl. I couldn’t make out what she was saying yet, all of it too grumbly and… angry. Why was she so angry?
I could feel the venom in each word, coating my skin in a burning, numbing substance that ate away at my flesh.
I didn’t need to know what she was saying to feel the vitriol in them.
The singer’s voice started to rise, bordering on screaming straight into my eardrums. Louder and louder, falling into the main verse, until suddenly it wasn’t enough.
It wasn’t enough to cover the hatred in the woman’s voice, now joined by a man. Two voices, harmonizing their hatred for the same person. The same unfortunate soul. I turned the volume up, only for their voices to get louder and more enunciated.
“Liar.”
“Liar.”
“Fucking mistake.”
“Why are you even here?”
Squeezing my eyes shut, I tried to tune them out. I tried to differentiate the voices in my head between the one singing, or yelling, or whatever he was doing into the mic. It didn’t matter.
It never fucking mattered.
A small bag of chips sat beside me on the bench, unopened, uneaten, completely forgotten. I wondered if the crunch would silence the hatred, but I knew it wouldn’t.
Just text me back, Elio. If he texted me back, then maybe they’d stop.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a shadow race across the field. I jerked my gaze in that direction, tracking the way it went, trying to figure out if it was real or just my imagination again.
My phone chimed and buzzed, the vibration tickling the side of my thigh. I raced to pick it up, typing in my passcode to get to my messages as quickly as possible.
Moon
If you keep ignoring me, I’m going to have to get mom and dad to go down there.
God fucking damn it. “Where are you, Elio?” I said it to the voices terrorizing me.
They’d hear my question and laugh. I didn’t want to hear them laugh.
I wanted them to shut the fuck up. I wanted them to leave me alone.
I wanted to pretend they didn’t exist so I could go on with my life like a normal fucking person.
Moon
You’re an asshole, ya know that, Cres? We’re starting to worry about you.
I rubbed a hand down my face, my palm scraping across my unshaved stubble.
Me
I’m at work, Moon. I’ll call you when I’m off.
Moon
And I’m supposed to believe that?
Me
I promise
Moon
Ok, little brother. Whatever you say.
Grabbing my partially eaten lunch, I strode my way back to work. James nodded in my direction, acknowledging my return for us to switch out.
“Hey, I just need to run to the restroom real quick. That cool?” I pulled my apron loose, hoping he’d say yes. Needing him to say yes.
James shrugged.
And I all but ran.
The employee bathroom was empty, thankfully. I slammed the door shut behind me, only giving myself enough time to lock it before I paced into the middle of the room. I tore my earbuds out of my ears, placing them in their charging case, and waited.
Waited to see if they were still there, even without the music. Waited to see if I could escape or if I was trapped there forever, in a hell I didn’t create but was condemned to regardless.
“Fucking liar!”
“Dead, dead, dead. You should be dead.”
“Liar, liar, liar, liar.”
My fists clenched around clumps of the hair on either side of my head, tugging until it was painful. Electric shocks of pain rushed down from my scalp to my fingertips. “Shut up, shut up, shut up.” I mumbled the words over and over, begging for them to hear me.
They wouldn’t fucking stop. A shadow loomed in one of the open stalls, standing and staring at me, mocking me for my existence until another one showed itself, standing in the stall next to it. They taunted me, their growling voices blending with the other two. It was too much. Too fucking much.